The Real Me (2 page)

"How was your checkup with Dr. Adam?"

My checkup. I'd almost forgotten. I pulled the diet sheet from my notebook and handed it to Dad. "I'm fine. But I'm supposed to go on a diet."

Dad read the diet sheet and announced enthusiastically, "This diet of yours will be great for all of us."

He patted his stomach as if it were a potbelly. As editor of the Waterside Weekly Reporter he didn't get much on the job exercise. But he always walked to work, no matter what the weather. And he and Mom kept in good shape by jogging and playing tennis.

I always felt big and clumsy whenever I tried anything athletic. Knitting and crocheting were more my style. "Dad, you like cottage cheese," I said. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to eliminate pasta and ice cream from my life."

"You really don't eat that much," Dad said. "You just have a slow metabolism like your Aunt Matilda. You're so attractive that only a doctor's sensitive scale could detect any excess weight you might be concealing!"

Dad loved to exaggerate. I gave him a hug. "Only a parent could ignore twenty pounds of fat, not to mention frizzy hair that has to be clamped down with at least four barrettes." Erwina had made me try her flat iron once, but it made my hair flat and straight, while still frizzy at the roots. Besides, I didn't really want it straight, just not frizzy. So I didn't even try a straightener. When it came to my hair, I was a total klutz, anyway. It was safer just to tame it with barrettes.

"Don't put yourself down, Mattie," Dad said. "You have beautiful eyes and your mother's good cheekbones."

"Who can see my cheekbones under this padding?" I clapped my hands to my cheeks and tried to make a joke of it. I couldn't accept a compliment about my looks, even from Dad. I was taller than half the boys at school (most of the guys at Waterside were notoriously short--at least I thought so). I was sure I outweighed most of them, too. If only there were more guys around like Kevin. Next to him I felt almost feminine, even dainty. Not like some cow.

"It's our turn to cook," Dad said. "Why don't you get started on the chicken and I'll fix dessert."

"Dessert? I'm supposed to be on a diet."

"Don't worry. I have an idea."

"Well …." I sighed. Dad and his "ideas." There was no talking him out of them. I took the chicken out of the refrigerator, deciding to bake it instead of frying it. I decided to bake the potatoes, too, instead of fixing my usual favorite--French fries.

I vowed to myself that I'd make the diet work. I was not going to go to my own prom alone. Once I got thin, guys would notice me, I was sure of it.

Mom walked in the door just as I was thinking about going ahead and eating without her, so I wouldn't make Erwina late for the game.

"Mom, I glad you made it." I quickly placed platters of food on the table. "The game with Denham is tonight and I've got to leave in fifteen minutes."

"Alma Turner came in with a broken arm just before my dinner break." Mom hung her coat on a hook near the kitchen door. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold. Snowflakes clung to her dark, shiny hair that she wore coiled in a braid at the back of her head when she worked. "I wanted to stay until she was taken care of. She seemed badly shaken."

"George's mother? That's too bad." Dad kissed Mom, then set three glasses of skim milk on the table.

"Was it another car accident?" I asked. George's father had recently had his license suspended for drunk driving after running his car off the road. He and Mrs. Turner had escaped with just a few bumps and bruises, but he'd knocked over a stop sign.

"She said she slipped and fell on the sidewalk." Mom glanced at Dad, then turned to me. "Please be careful going to the game tonight. It is icy and there are some snow flurries."

"Don't worry, Mom. You know Erwina's a good driver."

Mom nodded.

We sat down and ate. I tried to watch my portions.

Then Dad announced, "And now for dessert!" He got up, pulled a bowl out of the refrigerator, and spooned a white fluffy substance into three bowls.

"What is it?" It looked like soapsuds. "I, um, might not have time to eat it."

"I call it Frozen Fluff. I invented it. You'll love it."

"Hmm."

"It's amazing what a person can do with just some gelatin, skim milk, lemon juice and vanilla extract," Dad said proudly.

I tasted a spoonful. It bubbled on my tongue, but I managed an encouraging smile. The best thing about it was that it killed my appetite.

A car horn sounded in the driveway.

"That's Erwina! I'll be home right after the game." I stuck my dishes in the dishwasher, grabbed my coat and purse, and ran outside.

"Hi!" I plopped myself into the seat of the Lane's ancient Buick. Erwina was so petite she had to sit on a pillow just to see over the dashboard. Her size, coupled with her short pixie haircut and round brown eyes, always made me feel as if I were being driven around by an elf. "All set to cheer for George?"

"You know I'll cheer for all the guys." Erwina grinned. Some people considered her a flirt. But it was just her nature to be friendly and outgoing. She was so short she had to look up at guys through her long, curly eyelashes. Crinkling her nose and smiling impishly were merely family trademarks.

At the school Erwina circled the parking lot twice before finding a space.

"It's a good thing we already have our tickets," I said. "I wouldn't want to stand out in the cold in that line." The line at the ticket office extended along the front of the school and around the corner.

Everyone in Waterside was excited about the game. My father promised a win would be a front page headline in the Waterside Reporter.

Erwina and I managed to get our favorite seats in back of the team bench, even though the gym was already crowded. The teams were on the floor, practicing.

I enjoyed the games, but what I really liked were the cheering and being part of the crowd. Ordinarily I was quiet, so I wouldn't call attention to myself. But at a game I could yell and scream and jump up and down and it didn't matter, because everyone was doing the same--and not paying attention to me.

The horn sounded and the teams returned to their benches. Walt Mattesky gathered up the loose balls. The cheerleaders took the floor and lined up to lead the cheers for the starting players. As always, Nicole Sandhurst led the cheer for Kevin.

The Star Spangled Banner played over the loudspeaker. My eyes focused on Kevin.

By half time Kevin had scored twelve points. Denham led by only three. My throat was dry from almost constant cheering. I watched Kevin as the team left the gym. He draped a towel over his shoulders and stooped to get a drink from the water fountain. Nicole appeared at his side. Kevin glanced around to see if the coach was looking, then kissed Nicole. I closed my eyes and envisioned myself in Nicole's place, imagined Kevin's lips on mine.

"Meditation isn't going to help the team." Erwina tugged at my arm. "Let's get a soda, so we'll have our voices for the second half."

"The line's a mile long. I'll just get a drink from the water fountain."

"Okay. I'll meet you back here."

"Sure." I elaborately rearranged my coat over my seat. I walked as slowly as possible across the gym to the water fountain. I bent over and took a sip. I stood up. I bent over and took another sip. If only Kevin would come out of the locker room and I would "just happen" to be standing there.

I peeked out of the corner of my eye. The door didn't open. I took another sip of water before I gave up.

Halfway back to my seat I heard the locker room door squeak. I wanted to drop my purse, but decided that would be too obvious. Not able to think of a good excuse to stop and turn around, I forced myself to return to my seat.

Music echoed over the loudspeaker, signaling that the second half would start in two minutes. Fans quickly returned to their seats. I saw Erwina walking arm and arm with Ross Wilcox. He played trumpet in the Pep Club Band.

"Here's my seat," said Erwina, smiling up at Ross. "Thanks for the soda."

"Sure," Ross said. He didn't even notice me. "See you."

Erwina sat down and whispered to me, "It was worth waiting in line. Ross bought me a soda. Isn't he totally cute?"

"Yes." I wondered what George would think.

The horn sounded and the cheerleaders formed a pyramid as the teams huddled around their coaches.

The cheerleaders lead the crowd in a Tiger cheer:

Tigers, Tigers, fight, fight, fight!

Tigers, Tigers, win tonight!

Not original, but loud.

The pyramid collapsed gracefully, and the second half started.

The score remained close. I screamed, "Go Tigers," so often my voice was hoarse. Whenever there was a time out, I tried to catch Kevin's eye so I could give him an encouraging smile. After all, he had said See you there. But, so far, I had no idea if he'd seen me or not.

If only Waterside would win. Then I'd be able to congratulate Kevin after the game. And in the spirit of celebration, maybe he'd--

"Yay!" Erwina shouted in my ear and punched my arm. "George got the rebound. We can win!"

I shook myself to attention and checked the scoreboard. Denham was ahead by one point with six seconds left. The sound of my heart echoed in my head. I rubbed my sweaty hands on my knees.

Waterside called a time-out. When it was over, George passed the ball in to Kevin. Kevin dribbled down the court as the seconds ticked off. He took a shot. The ball hit the rim. It rolled around twice. Just as the final buzzer sounded, the ball went in.

The Tigers won!

Waterside fans swarmed onto the floor, yelling and jumping, hugging the players and each other. I struggled to get to Kevin, but the crowd closed in on me. I felt like the filling in a sandwich. I was thrust against someone in a uniform. I looked up. It was George. He smiled at me.

"Nice game, George," I murmured.

"Thanks!" A huge grin flashed through his freckles.

I elbowed my way to the center of the undulating mob. There I saw a blue and white uniform with the number twenty four. Kevin. I plunged toward him, stepping on his toes.

"Ouch!" Kevin said, but he grinned at me. "Hi, there."

"Hi. Sorry about your toes." My heart pounded. "Great game, Kevin."

He winked at me. "Thanks to your cheering."

He noticed!

Through all the jostling, Kevin put his arms around me and pulled me close. I felt my face redden as I pressed against his chest.

Suddenly sharp fingernails stabbed my cheek. A hand pulled on Kevin's jersey and yanked him away from me.

"Kevin. You won the game for us!" Nicole wrapped her cheerleading sweater clad arms around Kevin and kissed him.

Someone stomped on my foot as more people crammed their way to the center of the gym. I could hardly breathe. I fought my way to the edge of the crowd. I looked for Erwina, but couldn't find her in the sea of people. I went outside to wait for her.

The air was cold and damp. Wet, heavy snowflakes dropped lazily to the ground. I tried to recapture the feeling of Kevin's arms around me. But Nicole's fingernails stabbing my cheek like icy daggers were all I felt now.

"There you are!" Erwina exclaimed. "Let's go. I promised to be home early. Great game, wasn't it?"

The cold oozed into my shoes as I picked my way through the slushy parking lot. "Yeah," I said. "Just great …."

 

Chapter
Three

 

I slapped my hand over the alarm clock. Groggy, I wondered why I'd set it so early. Then I remembered--Walt and calisthenics.

After the game, in order to take my mind off Kevin and Nicole, I had sifted through some cookbooks for interesting recipes for the prom. All the mouthwatering descriptions had stimulated my appetite and I had almost started gorging myself on oatmeal cookies.

But a vision of Kevin and Nicole kissing had swirled through my mind. So, instead of wolfing down handfuls of cookies, I put the cookie jar in the cabinet, pushing it to the back of the shelf. Maybe if I didn't resemble an upholstered chair I could be on the receiving end of Kevin's kiss.

I threw off the covers and hauled myself out of bed. I was determined to exercise for ten minutes. But after fifteen leg lifts, five sit ups, and not quite one pushup, I convinced myself that I really needed the remaining eight and a half minutes to recheck my math homework. Besides, I would be walking an extra mile every day.

By the time I scuffed into the kitchen my parents were sitting at the table.

"Good morning," Dad boomed. "I've got a nutritional beverage all ready for you."

It looked suspiciously like melted Frozen Fluff. As Dad waited expectantly, I took a sip. I wondered if I should try to curb his enthusiasm for my diet.

"How is it?" Dad asked

"Okay." I tried to sound polite, but not thrilled.

"I knew you'd like it." Dad beamed.

Oh, well. I guess he didn't pick up on my subtlety.

"I'd better get to work early today," Dad said. "I want to write a really big article about Waterside's win."