The Reluctant Bride (15 page)

“A personal relationship with God is what they need. You know as well as I do that a church life never saved anyone.”

“It won't save their souls, but it might help their marriage. Involvement in a good church can be the beginning of them doing something together instead of always insisting on their own way.”

Micah hesitated before speaking again. Then she decided to ask what she had asked before without success. “Would you go to church with me this Sunday?”

“Micah, this isn't about me. It's about—”

“It's about your recommending a church life to someone,” she answered quietly. “Do as I say and not as I do?”

Rob flashed an irritated glance her way. “Just because I don't always do the right thing doesn't mean I don't know what the right thing is.”

“But your counseling is sounding less and less
legal, and more and more of a spiritual nature. I know your heart goes out to these people, but you can't solve everyone's problems. You can really only completely solve your own.”

“I don't have a problem. My life isn't exactly falling apart”

“Is that what you're basing your need for God on? Must you sink to a certain level before you'll allow Him to pull you up again? Maybe you're too self-sufficient, too strong to let yourself depend on Him.”

Rob's gaze was steady and cold, and the square set of his jaw revealed his irritation even more than the icy blue of his eyes. “To depend on Him would be to rely…to trust…to be certain of. When I can have those things back, then He can have my life again.”

“But think of how He's helped me. He led you right back to my cabin that night. If you hadn't come back, I don't know how long it would have taken for someone…anyone to find me lying there in the rain, bleeding.”

“And what if I hadn't come that night? I almost didn't I know how stubborn you can be—”

“But you
did.
You came when I needed you, and we have the Lord to thank for that. I know there are a lot of inadequate answers in life. And I know that's what led you away from your Christian beliefs. But I think, in your heart, you want to come back. Listen to yourself. You're finding better answers
in God's word than you are in the Ohio Revised Code.”

“He has answers that help some people, but what I see, what I live daily is a life that is better now than it's ever been. And it's not been accomplished with prayer and dependence. Even you—”

“Me?”

“If I'd followed the path I was on, I wouldn't have you. I wouldn't have become a lawyer, wouldn't have met you in my office that day you came in regarding the Winslow accident. I'd have been off in some other community and not at Wellspring Elementary School for Career Day. You and I wouldn't even know each other.”

“And maybe, in the long run, you'd be grateful,” she stated, her voice deadly quiet.

“Don't start with that, Micah. I don't want to hear about how your dad's run-in with the law is going to destroy my career. I love you, and there's nothing about you that can hurt me so terribly that some day I'll wish I hadn't met you. You're the best thing in my life.”

“I don't want to be the best thing in your life. I want the Lord to be that for you.”

That comment brought a stern-faced expression to his features. Rob rose to his feet and left Micah sitting alone at the table with a dinner they both had lost interest in. He walked to a nearby window and stood, looking out, with his hands in his pockets.

Micah sat silently for a moment, watching him.
She could see his frowning face in profile and wondered why she hadn't noticed before now how worried he looked tonight. “You okay?” she asked softly as she stood up.

He gave her a distracted nod and cleared his throat. “Remember that night at your apartment when you told me it was over? And I got angry and walked out?”

“Yes,” she replied, reluctantly recalling that pain.

“Do you remember telling me that ‘today’ was all you had to give?” He turned his head, glancing at her with an unreadable expression.

“Yes,” she said as she approached him. “I remember.”

“Well, I want to take your offer.”

Micah's eyes widened in surprise. “But…you know that what we've had here can't last—”

“It can last for a while. Until what you fear will happen, begins to happen. And when you say it's time to end, I'll let you go. With no anger.”

Her head pounded relentlessly with logic and facts about why this idea was crazy. But, against all her better judgment, her hopes soared. He was right. It could last for a while. They were together, here, tonight, and who could say how many more todays they could share before her past collided with their future? His arms encircled her, bringing her close, holding her near, and she buried her face against his throat.

“Micah, I want you to be my wife.”

She raised her head. “Rob, don't—" His fingers touched her lips, silencing her words.

“I won't,” he replied. “I won't ask you for something you can't give. But I wanted to say it. I want you to know that I'll always love you.”

“I know…and I love you that same way,” she admitted as she searched his troubled eyes. “I'm glad I'm here, with you, now.”

“So am I,” he offered, his voice nearing a whisper as his mouth slowly descended to meet hers in a surprisingly gentle kiss. But the delicious sensations he created did nothing to ease the pain shooting through Micah's bruised temple. It felt very real—not yet the distant memory she longed for it to be—and she involuntarily winced in response.

Rob pulled slightly away from her, enough to look into her eyes. “Your head still hurts, doesn't it?”

“Yes, and I wish it didn't. Not now.”

“We probably both wish a lot of things,” he commented before kissing her mouth again, gently. “But reality, my love, is what we deal with. And you've had a bad injury. It's gonna take time to heal.”

“I'll be all right.”

“If you don't feel some significant improvement soon, I want you to see another doctor.” Rob touched her cheek lightly. “Get some rest. Mom probably wore you out today, and I have some work
to do, anyway. I'm taking a hearing in the morning for Martin, and I need to read over the file.”

“You look so tired. Why isn't Martin handling his own hearing?”

“He won't be in the office tomorrow, so I'm taking care of it. Don't worry about me, Micah. I'm fine.”

“Really?” she persisted.

“Yes,” he insisted and motioned toward the hallway leading to the bedroom. “Now, go. You're the one who needs some rest.”

“First, I'll clear off the table—”

“No. It won't take me five minutes to clean that up. Go on to bed,” Rob urged her before turning his attention to the briefcase on the sofa.

“Good night,” Micah offered and started down the hallway. Then she stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. “Rob….”

He glanced up from the paperwork at his fingertips.

“I love you,” she said openly, honestly—the way she'd longed to say it dozens of times before.

“I love you, too, Micah,” came Rob's reassuring response but with a fleeting look of concern that Micah had not expected.

She disappeared into the bedroom to retire for the night but had difficulty falling asleep as she wondered what troubled him so.

The next morning, Rob left early for court and
Grace was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee when Micah woke up.

“How's the patient?” Grace asked with a smile. “Want some coffee?”

Micah touched her forehead, finding it difficult to believe it was no longer aching. “I feel better today,” she answered and reached for a cup. “And coffee sounds wonderful. Rob's gone already?”

“He has an early hearing and several clients to see this morning. He left about an hour ago.”

Micah leaned down to rub Ashley's chin while listening to Grace's response. “I'm really feeling much better today. There's no need for you to spend your day watching over me. You probably have a hundred other things you could be doing.”

“Actually, I thought I'd clean this apartment. Rob has a weekly cleaning service, but he canceled for this week so they wouldn't be in here disturbing us.”

“I'll help—”

“No, my goodness, no. Rob will be irritated enough with me for being too helpful. I'm not going to involve you in this ‘crime,’ too.”

But Micah quickly protested. “I've been useless for days, Grace. It would do me good to accomplish something.”

“Well, accomplish something else. Something that won't get me into too much trouble with my son.” Grace touched Micah's arm gently with an affectionate pat. “Why don't you paint for a while?
Then, if you don't have anything else to do, you could visit Angela's new home when school is over. It's really beautiful, and she'd been wanting to show it off to you. I can take you, if you don't think you're up to driving yet.”

“I can drive. My head hardly hurts at all this morning,” Micah said and with a soft sigh added, “I wish I had felt this way last night.” Then she glanced up as it occurred to her how that may have sounded to Rob's mother.

Grace laughed quietly and patted Micah's arm again. “Don't worry, dear. I won't ask.” She reached for her coffee cup. “Let's have breakfast, and then get busy.”

And they did exactly that. Micah put the finishing touches on her painting of the old Pinewood Church—something she'd been looking forward to completing for a long time—while Grace insisted on working around the apartment, straightening and cleaning, with Ashley under her feet most of the time. Then, late in the afternoon when Grace headed home, Micah took the index card on which Grace had drawn a map to Angela's new address and went for a visit.

Four bedrooms, a country kitchen, living room, dining room, family room, three baths and a den. Angela's new home smelled of cedar and fresh paint as Micah took the grand tour of her friend's new residence. She hadn't been in a house this lovely since her own growing-up days, but this one somehow
seemed cleaner, brighter. Maybe because Micah knew this home wasn't paid for with stolen money. As for her own, she wasn't quite sure.

“Rob says things are going very well with the two of you.”

“Yes,” Micah responded.

“Well enough to last?” Angela asked as a grin brightened her face.

“I wish it would,” came Micah's evasive reply.

The two women returned to the starting point of the tour, the kitchen. Then Angela continued their conversation. “I know Rob about as well as anyone does, and I've never seen him in love like this before.” She opened the refrigerator. “Iced tea?”

“No, thanks. Do you really mean that? About Rob?”

“Absolutely,” Angela stated rather matter-of-factly while pouring one glass of tea. “He needs you, and I can't recall him really needing anyone…ever.” She added the last part with emphasis and took a sip of her drink. “So…are you going to stay with him? Live with him?”

“No, Angela, it's not how it looks. I mean…Rob sleeps on the couch.”

“Oh, Micah,” Angela began with a complete look of surprise registering on her face. “I wasn't trying to pry, and I
certainly
don't want to know anything about my brother's private life. It's just…well, I know he's my brother, but I have to admit he's a nice looking guy, and he's dated lots
of women. It seemed like someone different every time I saw him…until you.”

Micah watched Angela struggle with her choice of words, and she wondered where this discussion was headed as she listened.

“But you…you could be forever. I can see that in the way he looks at you. Has he told you yet that he loves you?”

Micah answered wordlessly with a simple nod of her head.

“You know he's away from God right now. I'm talking light-years away from where he needs to be.” But Angela's humor was momentary as her brows knit together in a concerned expression. “If you hold that over him, Micah, you could lose him.”

“I know,” Micah agreed, accepting Angela's insight into her brother's heart “But he needs to get back to where he was before Nick died.”

“He'll never be the same again. When Nicky died that night, some kind of trust… faith…some spark in Rob died with him.” Angela stopped talking for a moment, remembering. “That was so long ago, and yet, in some ways, it seems like yesterday. I guess most of us changed in some way after that.”

“How, Angela? What did it do to you?” Micah asked.

“I'd always looked up to Rob. You know, ‘big brother’ and all that kid stuff.”

“I think you still look at him that way, and he likes it very much.”

“I suppose you're right” Angela slid her hands deep into the pockets of her sweater. “But when he stopped going to church and trusting in God, it had a big impact on me. I became a Christian when I was only eleven and, in the beginning, it was probably more because I loved my brother than because I loved God. But as I got older and understood things better, it became very real and personal to me. I went to Trinity Christian College two years behind Rob and Nicky so I was still there after Rob graduated and Nicky died, and I wasn't nearly as committed to the Lord as I had been years earlier. It was difficult to continue on with something Rob no longer valued. Then I met Dan, and it wasn't long before I married him—even though I was a Christian and he was not I knew someday I'd be stronger, more committed than I had been, and I thought he'd come around eventually…see things my way.”

“But he didn't?” Micah asked softly, studying the pain reflected in her friend's eyes.

“No,” Angela shrugged her shoulders and gave a brief, heartsick laugh. “He sees things more his way now than ever before.” She paused. “Micah, Dan is a good man and I love him when he's not drinking. But, overall, my Christianity versus his nonbelief is hard on our marriage and on the kids, even during the long dry spells like he's experiencing now. His lawn business is good, he's sober, on
the job every day and making plenty of money— and my teaching is going well and my salary is great now that I finished my master's degree—and we can honestly afford this new home…but I'd trade it all for him to become a Christian, attend church with his family, teach our kids about God's love.” Angela's usually shiny blue eyes flooded with tears, and Micah gently touched her arm in a comforting manner. “I'm not so sure Rob will ever trust the Lord again, and all I'm trying to say is…be careful. Rob loves you and you love him, but it's not always going to be so simple. Think with your head first, then your heart.”