The Reluctant Bride (Montana Born Brides) (18 page)

“
So we’re good?”

“
Yeah, we’re good. I’m not going to stand you up in front of all your friends. Besides, one guy told me he was a part tracker in the Marines and I couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not, but he looked scary.”

“
Moss. He was joking,” Monty said, but he knew his friend hadn’t been. Only now that he knew everyone had talked to Risa, he was worried she was marrying him for the wrong reasons. He wanted her as his wife, but only if
she
wanted to be his wife.

“
You still want to marry me?”

She hesitated and looked out over the laughing crowd that was here to celebrate their love.

She didn’t know why she didn’t just say yes. She wanted to be his wife, but she didn’t know if she’d panic at the last moment and run for it. And she had let Monty down enough.

“
Are you kidding me here?”

“
Of course I want to marry you. I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t want to,” she said.

“
I’m sensing a but here, Ri. Tell me I’m wrong,” he said.

She stepped back, standing next to him in her leather and turquoise boots and her pretty summer dress.
He could just make out the expression in her brown eyes and he could tell she didn’t know what to do.

“
You’re not wrong. I miss my parents,” she admitted in that soft small voice of hers. “When it’s just you and me, it feels right, but now that there are all these people. All your people. I’m sort of lost.”

He tucked a strand of her highlighted brown hair behind her ear.
“They are your friends, too. Through me. That’s what marriage is, bringing both of our tribes together.”

She bit her lower lip and then turned away from him.
Fireflies were dancing in the air and it should have felt magical. But instead, he had that sinking feeling that things were going south, and fast.

“
I don’t have a tribe. I have no one and tonight that is so clear to me.”

“
Risa, you have me. I’m not going to argue with you and try to make you see it, but I am going to tell you this: from the moment I saw you and you caught me taking that picture of you, we’ve been connected. You know it and I know it.

“
I don’t know why that scares you so much, but I’ve done everything I can to make you see the truth. To show you I love you.

“
There, I said it. I didn’t want to be the one to do it first, but that was just a game I was playing. I’m done with games.”

She walked back over to him and went up on tiptoe, kissing him with all the sweet sassiness in her soul, and he held onto her, hoping to God this wasn
’t going to be the last kiss he had with her. She tasted of midnight promises and forgotten vows, and he wished he had the strength to hold her to him. But he knew the harder he held her, the easier it was for her to slip away. She had to come to him of her own free will.

And acknowledge she was doing so.

“I love you, too. I was hoping to save that to tell you tomorrow when we said I do in front of the preacher, but holding onto that makes no sense. Love has never been my problem with you.”

“
Then what has?” he demanded. “Frankly, I’m tired of guessing.”

He hadn
’t intended to say that, but it was past time he leveled with her and let her know where he stood. He was tired of all the back and forth and wondering what she was thinking.

“
My problem is me. Not you. It’s trying to decide how to figure out the future when I’m not sure what I want anymore. But it’s never been you.”

That didn
’t reassure him or bring him any closer to figuring out what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. He didn’t mean in a condescending way. He was a guy who liked to see an objective, figure out a plan for taking it, and then enact that plan.

Risa screwed with that on every single level.

“Damn.”

“
Yes, damn. I not going to stand you up tomorrow,” she said at last. “I’ve got nowhere left to run.”

Her words made him mad.
He didn’t want to be the man she settled for.

She gave him a hard look.

“You’re not either, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“
You’re right. So how do we know that either of us will go through with it?” he asked.

“
You might not show up? Is that what you’re saying?” she asked. “Why not?”

“
Why should you be the only one with a sure thing,” he said. “I asked you to marry me because, for me, the future looks bleak without you by my side and without having your love in my heart. But if you can’t make the same level of commitment then…”

“
Fine. I get it. I don’t know how to change this or to reassure you, but I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” she said.

“
Why do you sound so angry?”

She shook her head.
“I thought we were solid and I’m just realizing that we have both been pretending. I’d thought we were done with faking it.”

“
True enough. I guess tomorrow will be the test. See if we both can make it to our own wedding,” he said. He knew damned well he wasn’t going to skip it, yet, at the same time, a part of him did feel like maybe that was the only way to prove to her she wasn’t the only one with something at risk here.

“
I guess so,” she said. “For the record, I could handle my own doubts because I have them about everything: opening my own shop, moving to Montana. That’s just the way I work. Fear sort of is my motivator. But hearing you doubt us, too, makes me think that, well, maybe this love is just a crutch for both of us.”

Her words were like a punch to the gut.
What he’d seen as a strategic move had backfired. There was no other way to describe it. But now that he’d voiced his doubts, they were growing inside of him. He realized that fear was strong, and he hoped as he watched Risa walk away that their love was stronger.

Risa woke up early to the sound of her alarm and lay on her bed in her big empty loft.
It was her wedding day. She rolled onto her side and looked at the pictures of her mom and dad and felt the burn of tears in the back of her eyes.

“
What am I going to do?” she asked the picture. Of course, they couldn’t answer, couldn’t tell her what to do now. She fumbled for a box of tissues and a thin strip of pictures fell out. Of her and Monty. They were silly, serious and kissing. A flood of emotions rushed through her as she stared at them, remembering how in love she’d been in the first second she’d talked to that handsome Marine.

The months in Marietta had only cemented that bond. She was more in love with him today than she had been in Vegas.
He was her life now. Marietta was her life. She had run because she’d felt she had no future and she’d found it right here.

Well, only after Monty had stopped by her car out there on the lonely highway.
She hopped out of bed with renewed energy. Last night she’d given Monty every reason to doubt her and her love. She didn’t want to be the kind of bride that made her groom feel like he might be standing alone at the end of the day.

She had to think.

There was a knock on the door and she ran to open it.

“
Got a package for you and it needs a signature.”

She signed for it and noticed it had been forwarded from Laney.
The box was wrapped in packing tape and had clearly been sent along a number of times. Risa carried it over to her kitchen area and set it on the island, then looked at the label. Tears burned the back of her eyes as she looked at the handwriting.

It was her mom
’s.

They must have sent it before the car crash.
Duh. She rubbed her eyes, feeling tired and wrung out from her argument with Monty. She took a box cutter and carefully opened the tape around the outside, and found a note and a smaller wrapped box inside.

Risa and Monty;

Congratulations on your engagement.
We can’t wait to celebrate with you in person. We are so pleased for you both. Monty, welcome to our family. We know that Risa is in good hands with you by her side.

Love,

Mom and Dad

She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her face. Knew that on this morning of her wedding when she’d missed her parents the most, this message, this sign from them, was exactly what she needed.

Monty hadn
’t really gotten any sleep the night before his wedding. He’d spent the entire time away from Risa rerunning their conversation in his head. He should have handled things differently, but he wasn’t always smart when it came to that woman.

He felt sure of the love they shared.
More sure of it than anything he’d ever experienced before, and listening to her doubts last night had pushed him to the edge. He didn’t want to have to be strong all the time. He wanted to find some comfort in her arms and not have to chase her down to find it.

He got out of bed and padded naked to the bathroom.
Looked at himself in the mirror and saw all the hard years and tough decisions he had to make, all the scars both internal and external, and thought about Risa. How she’d always made it seem like his life had been leading to her.

And it still was.

She’d led him here to this small acreage in the middle of this peace-filled valley. It was the kind of place he wanted to raise a family in. And the only woman he wanted by his side was Risa.

If there was a chance in hell that she
’d be here today, he knew he had to be, too. He wasn’t going to play any games on this day. The day that was the key to the future. If she didn’t show up and he had to chase her down again, so be it. He’d do it.

Because falling for her had been so hard and so fast that he
’d known she had to be his.

He showered and got dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, new boots and a white chambray shirt.
He put on his black Stetson and went outside to watch the magic that the folks from Married in Marietta were weaving, transforming his yard into the perfect wedding venue.