The Reluctant Cowboy (16 page)

“She’s easy, huh?  Kind of got that from her name,” Cole joked.  Sierra couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to use humor to hide his nervousness.  He was doing a good job of it. 

Quinn made sure Cole’s stirrups were set properly and showed him how to sit up straight in the saddle.  He pushed the heel of Cole’s boots down and commented on the pair, “Good boots.” 

“Thanks, I had help from a friend picking them out.”  Sierra couldn’t contain her grin as Cole gave her a wink. 

After a few more minutes, Quinn let Cole take Sally at a walk around the arena.  He walked beside them and showed Cole how to “steer” her in the direction he wanted to go. 

Sierra rode up on the other side of Cole, encouraging, “You got this, New York.” 

“Oh…no, I don’t need you or anyone else calling me that.  Rocco owns the rights to call me that,” he was grinning as he said it, jokingly. 

She watched him and could tell that he was concentrating on what Quinn was telling him.  Once they completed a full lap around the large arena, Quinn left them to stand by the railing. 

“This isn’t too bad.  How am I doing so far?”  Cole asked, winking again at Sierra.

Sierra admired him, sitting atop the sweet mare, “Looking good.  Looking real good.” 

“See, this reluctant cowboy is now riding a horse.”  

“Not looking so reluctant now.” 

“So, how do you shift the gears to go up a speed?” 

Sierra chuckled and showed him how to squeeze with his legs.  Sally began a slow, smooth trot and Sierra watched as Cole’s grin grew bigger, then he uttered, “This is incredible.  I barely feel her moving.” 

Sierra was impressed with how he was sitting the mare’s gait.  He was looking more relaxed and comfortable in the saddle.  “Once you get the hang of this,” she teased, “you may not want to stop.” 

“Oh, I disagree.  I have a feeling I will
feel
it later.”  

“Ready for another speed?”  She sensed his hesitation as brought Sally back down to a walk.  “It’s okay if you’re not, but I think you would enjoy it.” 

Sierra demonstrated how to ask the horse to lope with the reins and proper leg pressure. She took Tinker around the arena in a slow lope, before stopping again beside him. 

“Yeh, I want to do that.  I can do it,” he said, confidently.

Sierra watched as Cole got Sally into her lope.  Sierra knew that Sally had an easy gait, which was perfect for a first time rider.  It wasn’t rough like some horses, it was smooth and light. 

When she brought Tinker into a lope and rode up beside Cole, she was happy to see him smiling and shaking his head, “Wow.  I’m really doing it.  I’m riding a horse.” 

“How do you feel?” 

“Amazing!  Like you are connected to the horse.  It feels great!” 

They rode around the arena a few times before he asked Sally to slow down.  Sally eased down to a trot and then to a walk.  Cole and Sierra were both laughing and talking as they made their way to the open end of the arena. 

“You ready to take them out in the woods for a walk?”  Quinn asked them. 

Sierra saw a moment of panic in Cole’s expression before he hid it, saying, “But it’s nice in here, with walls and the arena.  What if Sally doesn’t like the woods?” 

Quinn patted Sally on the butt as he replied, “Sally loves to walk in the woods, Cole.  I promise you will be fine.  Besides, you have one of the best horsewomen I’ve ever worked with by your side.” 

Grinning at Quinn for the confidence boost, Sierra urged, “It’s a beautiful day, Cole.  We won’t stay out long.” 

“Okay, lead the way.” 

Sierra was glad he agreed and they made their way to the woods, showing him,  “See, the trails are clearly marked.” 

She took the lead with Tinker and relaxed, as she looked at the trees and scenery.  The woods got pretty dense in some areas, but she could look up and see large patches of puffy, white clouds against the blue sky.  They came upon a clearing with an open field. 

Sierra turned to see if Cole wanted to
run
the horses.  She told him to hang on and cued Tinker to run.  Tinker took off in a fast gallop and she turned to make sure Cole was right behind her.  He was holding on, with one hand on the pommel of the saddle, but he was laughing as Sally was staying right behind Tinker.  Sierra laughed and pulled them up after about a football-field-length of a dead run.  She didn’t want to scare Cole.  Still laughing, she asked him, “So, did you like that?” 

Cole ran his hand through his hair before saying, “That was awesome!  I want to do it again.” 

She laughed at his enthusiasm, “We may get another opportunity down the trail.  I don’t want to push it for your first time.” 

For a while, Cole and Sally rode beside them as the trail was wide enough for two horses.  “Speaking of first times, Sierra, how did you pick the name Skye?”  Cole asked, honestly. 

Sierra turned sideways in her saddle to talk with him, “Her eyes.  She had your dark blue color and I remembered how much you said you liked mine.  I wasn’t sure if they would get lighter as she got older, but I had hoped they would be a mix of both of ours and I knew they would be a beautiful blue, like the sky.” 

“What is her middle name?”  Sierra laughed as a reply.  “What, what is it? Please tell me it’s not an old name like Edith or Beatrice…no offense.” 

“No, it’s Sara.” 

“Sara.  I like that name.  Why Sara?” 

“Now, you will laugh at me and only Dana knows the truth.”  Cole raised his eyebrows, waiting for her reply, “Okay, here comes the dorky side of me again.  You know how much I love Buffy and Sex and the City, right?  So, both of the actresses’ names are Sarah:  Sarah Michelle Gellar and Sarah Jessica Parker.  That’s how I chose her middle name.”  She was blushing profusely as she answered him honestly. 

“Hmm, could have been worse.  Glad you didn’t mention Star Wars.  You could’ve named her R2D2 or C3P0.”

Sierra laughed, but quipped, “Oh, I love Star Wars, too.”  

“Of course, you do.  I do like her name.  Skye Sara….Morgan?” 

“Yes.” 

“I think I’d like it more as Skye Sara Alexandar.”  

Sierra didn’t say anything, as she studied him.  She liked the sound of his name, too.  She adjusted her seat and Cole turned his head to look at her, speaking softly, but honestly, “I don’t know what happens next for us, Sierra, but I want to be a part of Skye’s life.  I hope the two of us will be able to find an agreeable solution.” 

“I’d like that, too.  I should have told you.  I’m truly sorry that I didn’t.” 

“I believe you.  It’s going to take me some time to forgive you, but I know you didn’t have bad intentions.” 

The path narrowed and she again took the lead to head back to the stables.  They didn’t say anymore to each other as they enjoyed the rest of the ride. 

Cole was learning how to take the saddle off and brush Sally, with the help of some of the high school girls working in the stable.  Sierra had headed to the house to say hi to Riley, as Cole was left with the young ladies, only too willing to help him.  He enjoyed their banter and obvious attempts at flirting with him. 

He was still amazed at how this day was turning out.  His mind was still focused on the horse he was brushing and how much he found himself enjoying it.  He had no idea how much work went into caring and training such wonderful animals.  He thoroughly enjoyed riding and even knowing he would be a little sore, he looked forward to doing it again. 

Sally seemed to like him, too, as she would bend her neck back and nudge him, while he brushed her sides and down her legs.  “I wish all women were this easy to please, Sally,” he said, rubbing his hand down her long face. 

The girls showed him how to pick up a hoof and gently clean it out.  It didn’t take him long to understand that they were enjoying watching him bend over, as he managed the other three hooves on his own.  He could hear their giggling and couldn’t stop his own grin forming on his face, while he was thinking, “Oh, to be young and carefree again.”  

The girls got called off to do another chore and he had some time alone to reflect, while he continued brushing and stroking Sally.  It had a calming effect on him, to be standing next to this majestic animal.  He felt more at peace in these few minutes than he had in years. 

He started to think of ways he could keep a horse of his own in New York.  He was sure they had stables and he would ask Denise to help him find some.  Maybe he could rent a horse like Sierra suggested and go riding on the weekends.  He may even be able to convince Christine to go with him, to have some company. 

For some reason, when he thought about New York, he just couldn’t wrap his head around going back.  He loved the city, but this peacefulness that captured his soul seemed to be here.  What if he bought a stable, here, in this area?  He could be close to Skye and learn more from Quinn and Doug.  They make excellent teachers and he enjoyed their company.  He could see himself becoming friends with them. 

He shook his head, knowing Sierra may not like that idea.  She had avoided him for two years.  She probably didn’t want him imposing on her life, which included her friends and family.  She should have thought of that, though, knowing he was close with Vanessa.  There was a lot she should have considered, mainly telling him she had his baby. 

His hands started brush the horse a little harder, thinking about all he had missed out on already.  He imagined what Sierra had looked like pregnant.  She would have been glowing and beautiful, he was sure of it.  He should have been given a choice to help her through it and be present at Skye’s birth. 

He missed Skye’s first birthday and the many milestones between her birth and her first birthday.  He knew with certainty he didn’t want to miss any more of her firsts.  He knew how it felt to not be wanted as a child and would make damn sure his daughter never felt that way. 

He paused his administrations and took a deep breath.  He was trying not to get upset again and reached for the pretty mare’s mane as he ran his hands through it.  He was close to her ear and whispered to her, “What am I going to do, Sally?”  The mare nudged his hip in response and Cole smiled, “Exactly.” 

“You ready to lead her back to the pasture?”  He turned to see Quinn standing near them. 

“You heard?”  Cole said, slightly embarrassed.

“Nah, wasn’t trying to ease drop.  Horses can make the best of friends.  My big guy has heard a lot of my troubles and he still likes me.” 

Cole nodded and reached for Sally’s lead rope to walk her down the aisle and into the sunshine.  Quinn, walking beside him, said, “You know Cole, if you are truly interested in learning more about the industry or horses in general, I’m here.  To be honest, I could use a business man to help me with some of the investments and to make sure I’m setting up the business properly.” 

Cole smiled over at Quinn, replying, “I’ll schedule something next week, when I return to my office.  I would like to see your business model and overhead.” 

“See, you lost me already.  I hire people like you to understand the lingo.  I’d like to have someone I trust to look over where I am and where I need to be in the future.” 

Cole was a little taken back with how easy Quinn seemed to trust him.  “Pardon me for saying this, but you don’t know me.” 

Looking at Cole, Quinn chuckled, “It’s not hard to trust a man who just rode a horse for the first time.  Vanessa speaks highly of you and I trust her judgment.”  He paused, gauging Cole’s reaction, then continued, “Not to mention that you just found out yesterday that you are a father, and the way that you handled that news has been impressive.” 

“You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew how badly I behaved earlier today.” 

“Doesn’t matter what happened in the past, it’s what you make of the future that counts.” 

Quinn took the lead out of Cole’s hand, leading Sally to the gate of the pasture.  He opened the gate and patted Sally on her rump as she went in.  They both watched her as she immediately dropped her head to graze on the green grass.  Both men leaned their arms on the top of the fence, watching the horses. 

Cole was digesting what Quinn said and was taking it to heart.  He knew that he and Riley had gone through a bad time before they got together and got married. 

Cole admitted to himself that he had feelings for Sierra, but it was Skye who mattered most.  She needed a father.

Sierra was quiet on the short ride back to her parents’ house.  Cole had turned on the radio, as he didn’t feel like talking, either.  Taylor Swift’s song, Wildest Dreams, came on the radio and Sierra couldn’t help but compare herself to the song’s lyrics: 

He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds. 

I thought heaven can't help me now, nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down. He's so tall, and handsome as hell.  He's so bad, but he does it so well. I can see the end as it begins, my one condition is, say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset…..” 

She pinched the soft skin between her thumb and first finger to keep herself from crying.  She couldn’t believe how much the song’s words affected her.  She tried to focus on the song’s tune, until they pulled into the driveway. 

When he stopped the car, Cole walked around to Sierra’s side and opened the car door.  Reaching his hand out, he helped her out of the car. 

Her dad, coming around from the back of the house, exclaimed, “Whoa!  Nice car.” 

Cole and her father began easy conversation, talking “car” talk, so she made her way into the house.  Skye came running toward her and jumped confidently in her arms.  She was still carrying the new horse stuffed animal that Cole had bought for her.  Sierra hugged her tight and listened while Skye told her all about what they missed while they were gone. 

Her dad and Cole entered not long after, still discussing cars.  Cole stopped, as he spotted her holding Skye.  She saw something flash across his features before he was able to mask it.  She didn’t know what it was, but it touched her heart. 

“Ole. Orsey,” Skye said, holding the horse out towards him.  As he stepped closer, Sierra was surprised when Skye reached out to him with both arms.  Sierra handed the squirming toddler over to him.

As Cole held her and listened to her babble, Sierra quickly turned to head into the kitchen before emotions overcame her.  She busied herself by helping her mother get dinner ready, but could hear Cole laughing with Skye as they went outside to play. 

“Honey, it’s going to be okay,” her mother assured her, giving her a hug, “he’s good with her, and she likes him.  I know you do, too, so give it a chance.” 

Sierra returned her mother’s hug, shrugging, “Look at them out there playing.”  Her mother turned so she could see what Sierra was seeing.  “She looks just like him.” 

“Oh, I don’t know, I see a lot of you in Skye, too, Sweetie,” she said, smiling at her daughter.

Both women watched as Cole knelt down to play on Skye’s level.  Watching her “fantasy” man playing with their daughter made Sierra’s heart soar.  Her eyes filled with tears as she thought, “
How am I ever going to say goodbye for a third time?” 
Sierra’s mother finished getting dinner together, while Sierra continued watching Cole play with their daughter.  Sierra’s dad finally called them all together to sit down to eat.

Dinner went well and the conversation was easy.  Skye held most everyone’s attention, but there was never a lapse.  Her dad asked Cole some questions about his business and Cole answered them, willingly. 

They also asked him about his own parents and upbringing, and although Sierra thought he might be uncomfortable, he didn’t show it.  He didn’t provide the details that he had shared with her, but answered them as honestly as he could.  She was grateful that he was being open with them and relieved when they seemed to back off. She didn’t want him to think that they were prying, instead of just being genuinely interested. 

He asked a lot of questions of them, as well, mostly about her and her years of showing horses.  Both parents bragged and enjoyed teasing Sierra about her childhood.  The mood was comfortable, with easy laughter and light banter. 

After dinner and dessert, her mother took Skye upstairs to clean her up.  Her dad went into the living room to read more of his paper and her brother went out for the night, leaving them alone in the kitchen.  They hadn’t talked about anything significant since the ride. 

“I’m heading back to the city in the morning,” Cole said, looking at his hands resting on the table. 

“I know.” 

“I plan on meeting with an attorney first thing.” 

At the mention of an attorney, Sierra’s guard and defenses went up, asking, “Why?” 

He looked at her directly, sharing his feelings, “I have to find out what my rights are, Sierra.  I have so much to offer Skye and I want to get some things started for her protection and for her future.” 

“I take good care of her, Cole.” 

“I’m not implying you don’t.  I’m doing this for her.  You appear to be a wonderful mother, but Skye needs a father, too.” 

Sierra stood up and braced herself at the sink, staring at him, “Okay.  What do you propose?” 

“I don’t know yet.”  He slid his chair back and rose to stand beside her.  He ran his fingers through his hair before placing both of his hands behind him on the counter, then spoke honestly, “I want to provide both of you with options.  Her schooling, life insurance, college funds, child support…” 

Sierra balked, “I don’t need or want your money Cole.  I make enough to provide for her.” 

He took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m sure you do and I’m trying to do the right thing, Sierra.  Give me a damn break here.” 

She felt the tension starting to fill the room and tried to stifle her tears, “All right, Cole.  Talk to your attorney.  I will hire one and do the same.” 

Cole pushed away from the counter and started pacing in the kitchen.  He stopped when he was standing directly in front of her, “What do
YOU
want Sierra?  Huh?  What do
you
want me to do?  Say goodbye to that precious little girl and pretend I don’t know I’m her father?  Pretend that nothing is going on between us?  Continue to live every day wondering what happens to the two of you?”  She could hear the controlled anger and frustration in his voice, “I can’t do it, Sierra.  I won’t do it.  I can’t comprehend leaving tonight and driving back to the city without either one of you.”

Sierra gasped at his confession, and he continued, “I want to give that little girl the best that I can.  She is going to have the best of everything I can give her, including myself.  You better realize that right now.” 

Tears welling up in her eyes, Sierra begged his forgiveness, “I’m sorry, Cole.”  She could see his expression morph as his anger dissipated and confusion replaced it.  “I want her to get to know you.  You do deserve to be in her life.  I was so selfish.” 

The tears were flowing freely down her face.  His strong arms pulled her, lovingly, into his embrace.  They stood there holding each other until her tears subsided.  Hesitantly, she broke away to reach for the Kleenex and wipe her eyes and nose. 

Cole was now standing a few feet away from her with his hands on his hips.  She started to walk back towards him when he suddenly pulled her to him.  His mouth came down on hers as he kissed her, passionately.  She desperately clung to him as they continued kissing each other. 

Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and slowly lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes, caressing her hair and talking softly to her, “Your eyes still hypnotize me, Sierra.”  She gave him a shy smile.  “Promise to stop the crying and help me figure out what to do.  We need to be a team for Skye’s sake.  We both want her to be happy.” 

“Okay.”

“Good girl.  I’m going to have Denise call you next week for information.  I’m going to need a lot from you to try and get caught up for the two years that I missed.  I will also need all of her medical records.  I will see my own physician and get more tests done on myself.” 

“You’re right.” 

“I usually am,” he said, lightening the mood a bit.  Sierra smiled up at him.  “That’s better.  I’m not a monster, I’m a new father.”  Sierra hugged him tighter and rested her head against his chest.  “Do you hear my heart beating?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“You do that to me.” 

They broke their embrace when they heard her mother and Skye coming toward the kitchen.  Before they entered, Cole gave Sierra another light kiss. 

“Ole. Orsey,” Skye walked up and raised her arms to her father.  Sierra laughed when Cole picked her up.

“Skye, my name is Cole.  Just Cole.”  Smiling at her, he then turned to the two women, laughing, “She’s going to think my name is
Ole Orsey
.”  Both women laughed as Skye squealed in his arms. 

It was getting dark when Sierra and Skye walked Cole out to his car.  Knowing how difficult this was for him, Sierra watched with a heavy heart as Cole squatted down to say goodbye to his daughter, “I have to go bye-bye, Skye.  I promise to see you soon, okay? Can I have a hug for the road?” 

With her bunny ear hanging out of her mouth, Skye gave him a big hug around his neck, and he instructed, “You be a good girl for your Mommy.” 

Sierra walked over to pick up the sleepy Skye.  Cole stood up and glanced up at the dark sky overhead.  She knew he was trying to control his emotions.  He leaned over and gave them both a kiss on their cheeks.   Without another word, he climbed into his car and drove away.  Sierra held Skye a little tighter until he was out of sight and then went back inside.