The Reluctant Sinner (6 page)

As Daisy walked away, she felt as if a wet blanket of despair had enveloped her. She had now made the choice to walk down a road full of unknown dangers. Whatever Stella had told her about being a whore and had implied it wasn’t as bad as she imagined, Daisy’s mind was full of pictures of the men she would have to take to her bed in a strange room at the club. She was terrified. What did she know about sex? Absolutely nothing! Yet here she was waiting for Flo to find a man who would pay the highest price to take her virginity! How strange, she thought. Her purity had never meant anything of great importance before. She’d never even thought about it, yet it was obviously something of great value … but for all the wrong reasons.

It would destroy her mother if she ever discovered that her daughter was to become one of Flo’s girls. Tears welled in her eyes as she imagined her mother’s shame if she ever found out. But taking a deep breath she told herself that it didn’t matter, as it was for her father and the end justified the means. But it didn’t really make her feel any better.

As she put the key into her front door she hesitated. She now had to lie to her mother, and the fact that it would be the first of many upset her greatly.

‘How did you get on, love?’ asked Vera. ‘Did Flo give you extra hours in the club?’

‘Yes, she did, starting next week.’ Daisy forced a smile. ‘And she was good enough to give me an advance on my wages so I could cover the nursing home bills.’

‘She’s got a heart of gold, that woman,’ said Vera. ‘Sit down, I’ll make us a cup of cocoa and a sandwich,’ and she pottered about, humming softly to herself.

Daisy listened to her mother’s chatter as they ate but made an excuse soon afterwards that she was tired and went to bed. If she could only sleep, she could forget what was before her. But she tossed and turned all night long.

At the gown shop the following morning, Grace Portman stood while she tried on her new dress. It required a slight alteration and when Agnes came to see to it, Grace was surprised.

‘Where’s Daisy?’ she asked. ‘Only she usually sees to all my alterations.’

Agnes looked uncomfortable as she said, ‘I’m afraid that Daisy has left, Mrs Portman.’

‘What do you mean, left?’

‘She gave in her notice,’ lied Agnes.

‘Where is she working now?’

Taking a pin out of her mouth, the girl mumbled, ‘I really don’t know,’ and got to her feet. ‘You can take that off now, Mrs Portman. If you care to wait, I can take that little bit in on the waist now.’

‘Yes thank you, I will wait. I was hoping to wear the dress this evening.’ When she was ready, Grace made her way to the reception and sat down. As Madam came through from the workroom, Grace voiced her concerns.

‘I am so sorry that you have lost young Daisy. She was an excellent seamstress and a really nice young lady. I was very fond of her.’

Madam’s face flushed crimson and she fluttered about. ‘Yes, I was sorry to lose her, but you know these young girls, they go from one job to another.’

With a frown, Grace stared at the owner. ‘I wouldn’t have thought that was in Daisy’s character at all. She always seemed to me to be very dedicated to her work.’

Madam Evans sniffed and in withering tones declared, ‘Well, Mrs Portman, you think you know a person but then they turn round and surprise you. I am very disappointed in Daisy Gilbert, I can tell you! I’ll just go and see if Agnes has finished that slight alteration.’ And she left Grace alone.

Puzzling over the owner’s remarks about her former employee, Grace sensed there was more to it than she’d been told and promised herself that she would eventually get to the bottom of Daisy’s departure, but not today. The next time she came in she would ask a few discreet questions of whoever came to measure her. Madam Evans, she was sure, would not tell her any more.

On Tuesday evening, Daisy walked into the Solent Club, then upstairs and changed into the clothes that Flo had laid out for her before going to the bar to be greeted by Harry.

‘Flo told me you’d be working all week,’ he said. ‘Mind you I’m not sure we’ll be that busy, but it’s nice to see you, love.’ And he moved away to stack the bottles of beer.

As the club began to fill, Flo arrived and started walking round, talking to some of the customers. Before long, Daisy saw some of the men looking at her speculatively and with a certain smile. She felt herself colour with embarrassment as she realized that Flo was marketing her to the punters. As the bar got busier there was a certain buzz among the customers, a lot of chatter between the men, a lot of joshing, and the odd argument. It was a strange atmosphere which didn’t escape Harry’s notice.

‘What’s going on here tonight?’ he asked Daisy quietly as he wiped glasses.

‘I’ve no idea,’ she lied.

‘Well something has got their tails up but for the life of me I can’t put my finger on it.’

Daisy tried to behave normally but when the men came up to the bar to order their drinks, their attitude towards her changed. Whereas before this evening they would flirt with her, knowing she was unavailable, now they were less respectful and louche in their comments. Overhearing one or two, Harry chastised the men. ‘A little more respect for the young lady,
if
you please, gentlemen!’ As they walked away he muttered, ‘Don’t know what’s got into everybody tonight, I really don’t.’

Daisy wanted the ground to swallow her. She was really fond of Harry and when he did eventually find out she was to become one of the girls, what would he think of her then?

The following evening, the young officer who’d invited Daisy out to lunch walked in the club and over to the bar. ‘Hello, Gloria, how are you? I missed you, you know.’

She smiled at him. ‘I bet you say that to all the girls,’ she teased.

‘As a matter of fact, I don’t,’ he said. ‘When are you going to let me take you out to lunch?’

‘I don’t know you,’ she said. ‘I don’t even know your name.’

‘Steven. Steven Noaks. There, now you have no excuse.’

Daisy would have liked to have accepted the young man’s invitation under normal circumstances, but now she felt she couldn’t. This young man came into the club just for a drink and the company of his associates, he never took a girl upstairs, and soon
she would be joining those ranks and she felt he would then feel differently about wanting her company, so she politely refused. Later that evening she saw Flo approach him and her heart sank. She saw too how he listened to Flo and saw the shocked expression on his face before he looked over at her. She turned away.

Later that evening as closing time came, Steven walked over to the bar and said, ‘I’ll walk you home, Gloria.’

She was completely flummoxed by this and hastened to refuse. He wouldn’t listen. ‘I’m taking you home, I want to talk to you,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ll wait outside.’

Once she’d changed into her own clothes, Daisy left the club, her heart racing.

Outside Steven took her by the arm. ‘Which way?’ he asked.

She pointed in the right direction and felt his hold tighten until they’d cleared the street, when he stopped suddenly and turned her to face him. ‘What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? Selling yourself to the highest bidder.’

Under the street light she saw the anger in his eyes. ‘Well?’ he demanded.

She glared at him. All night long as she’d watched Flo canvass the punters, she’d felt like a piece of meat in a cattle market and was overcome with shame, but she’d taken Flo’s money to pay the nursing home bills and there was no escape from the inevitable. But now, to be faced and questioned by this young man whom she liked but after all was a stranger, her pent up feelings surfaced and she raged at him.

‘How dare you! What I do is my business and certainly none of yours.’ She snatched her arm from his hold. ‘Now leave me alone!’ And she strode away.

Steven caught up with her and matched her pace. ‘But Gloria, you’re not like the others, you’re different. You don’t belong among Flo’s girls.’

She kept walking. ‘You know nothing about me and please, what gives you the right to badger me this way?’

‘I don’t have the right, but I can’t stand by and let you do this.’

She stopped walking. ‘Will you stop pestering me! Just mind your own business.’ She pushed him and cried out in anger. ‘Bugger off and leave me alone!’ And she set off once again. This time the young man let her go.

As she walked on, Daisy felt tears of anger trickle down her cheeks.

Steven stood watching her … totally confused. He had no right to interfere but when Flo had approached him tonight, taking bids for Gloria’s virginity, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. From what little he’d seen of the young barmaid, he’d assumed she was as innocent as she appeared. He’d been attracted by her naivety but to discover now that she was about to lose all that, and to the highest bidder, and become one of Flo’s girls, had appalled him. He turned on his heel and walked away.

Back in the Solent Club, Harry at last discovered what had disturbed the atmosphere in the club as he had a nightcap with Stella.

‘Flo’s what?’

‘Taking bids for Daisy’s virginity.’

Harry looked askance. ‘I don’t believe you!’

‘For Christ’s sake, Harry, do you think I’d joke about a thing like that? The kid needs the money to pay the medical bills for her dad. The poor bugger’s dying and she’s got him in a private nursing home. She lost her day job because they discovered that she worked here and that might sully the reputation of the business if it ever came to light.’

‘Well now I’ve heard everything,’ he said. ‘She obviously has her reasons, but honestly, Stella, she won’t be able to stick it out, I’d put money on it.’

Stella drew on her cigarette in quiet contemplation. ‘I wouldn’t bank on it if I were you, Harry. We might all be surprised. She has a purpose and is determined to give her father a good death – and nothing will stop her from doing that. I admire her for it.’

‘Her loyalty is misplaced!’ Harry argued. ‘What father would want his daughter to put herself in that position for him?’

‘But he doesn’t know and she’ll never tell him. For my part I think she’s a heroine.’ She got off the stool. ‘He must be a special man for her to love him so much that she’ll do this. How many of us can truly say we deserve such devotion?’

Harry had no answer.

Ken Woods walked into the butcher’s shop and beckoned to Bert Croucher. When the butcher finished serving his customer he walked over to his mate.

‘What are you doing here, do you want some meat?’

Woods shook his head. ‘Haven’t you heard?’ he asked.

‘Heard, heard what?’

The other man grinned broadly. ‘You know that tasty barmaid at the Solent Club? Well she’s on the bloody market, mate!’

‘Market! What on earth are you talking about?’

‘Someone I know who uses the club was approached by Flo the other night. It seems that Gloria is joining the girls and Flo is looking for bids. The highest bidder takes the girl’s cherry. By Christ, I tell you, that lucky bugger is going to be me … no matter what it costs!’

Bert looked livid. He had lusted after Gloria from the first moment he saw her and now when she was available, he was out of the running as Flo had barred him from hiring any one of her girls. He could have swiped the grin off Woods’ face.

‘What makes you think Flo will give you the chance? After all, you are not exactly one of her favourite clients are you? She watches you like a bloody hawk.’

This observation removed the satisfied grin from the man. What Croucher said was true. Woods knew that he was only a client on sufferance. If one of the girls ever complained about him to Flo, he would be unable to hire another again. He’d been very careful not to give any of the girls reason to do so, but now he wondered if his reputation would keep him off the list of bidders.

‘Well, there’s only one way to find out!’ he snapped. ‘I’ll go to the club tonight and offer her a price she won’t want to refuse … after all, my friend, everyone can be bought, we all know that.’ Turning on his heel, he walked out of the shop.

Croucher returned to his butcher’s block, taking out his frustration by chopping up a side of lamb into small cuts of meat.

Daisy and her mother were at the hospital, visiting Fred. Daisy had taken him a small basket of fruit in the hope of tempting her father’s appetite. It seemed every time she saw him he had shrunk a little more, but Fred tried to keep cheerful when he saw his family.

‘Do you think, Vera love, you could make me a small bread and butter pudding? The food here is fine but I don’t have a great appetite. I do, however, have a longing for one of your puddings. I could really enjoy that.’

‘Of course, dear,’ she said. ‘I’ll make one when I get home and bring it tomorrow.’

‘How’s work going, Daisy? Is that woman still working you to the bone?’

Knowing he meant Madam Evans, Daisy quickly replied, ‘Yes, thank goodness, we have plenty of work to keep us going, Dad.’

‘And how’s young Jack? I’ve not heard you mention him lately.’

‘He’s fine,’ she lied. ‘I’ve been so busy lately what with my private work at home, that we haven’t been able to see so much of each other.’

‘Never mind, Daisy, you have to make the money when you can what with the war and all. Everyone who can make an extra copper has to be grateful for the opportunity.’

Seeing how tired her father was, Daisy thought it time to leave and let him rest. As she and her mother made their way home, Vera said, ‘You were quick off the mark about working at the shop.’

‘Well I didn’t want to give Dad anything to worry about. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.’

Vera caught hold of Daisy’s hand. ‘It breaks my heart to see him so frail, but thank God he’s in that place because I don’t think I could take care of him properly if he was at home.’

‘Well you don’t have that worry,’ Daisy reassured her. ‘Come on, let’s go and have a cup of tea and a scone to cheer us up.’ Knowing how each day after seeing Fred, her mother was in despair, she thought it would lift her spirits and her own and hopefully stop the thoughts of what was before her at the club, invading her every waking moment.

That evening, Harry and Daisy had only just finished setting up the bar for the night when the doors were unlocked for business. They stood chatting as their first customer walked in.

Daisy’s heart beat a little faster when she saw it was Ken Woods.

‘I’ll serve him,’ said Harry.

Daisy walked to the other end of the bar, but she could hear Ken’s voice clearly.

‘What time will Flo be in?’ he demanded.

‘No idea, Mr Woods, as you know Flo is a rule unto herself; she comes and goes as she pleases.’

The man sipped his drink and looked over at Daisy. ‘I want to see her, so I’ll wait.’

Daisy glanced up and met his gaze. The corners of his mouth widened and he leered in her direction, raising his glass at her, but not saying a word.

She froze. No matter what Flo said, she would
never
have this man as a client, she’d rather die! Was that the reason he wanted to see Flo, to stake his claim? Remembering the predatory look in his eyes, she was certain that it was.

Harry too had come to the same conclusion. He looked across the bar at Daisy. How could she put herself in such a position? He couldn’t help it, he had to say something. He walked over to her and in a quiet voice asked, ‘Why, for God’s sake, why are you going through with this? Look at that bastard, how can you even contemplate having him, and others like him, touching you?’

She looked stricken. ‘I don’t have a choice.’

Now he was angry. ‘Of course you have a choice! Life is full of choices, but please don’t throw your life away like this. You will always regret it!’

She started to explain about her father, but he interrupted her.

‘Your father would rather die tomorrow than let you go through with this. I know because I’m a father! I want to shake you until your teeth rattle and make you see some sense.’

This was too much for Daisy and she burst into tears and ran from the bar and up the stairs.

Ken Woods looked over at Harry and said, ‘Now don’t you go upsetting the little darling; we don’t want her damaged in any way if you know what I mean.’

‘Shut your filthy mouth!’ Harry said. ‘Or so help me I’ll come across this bar and shut it for you!’

Stella found Daisy sobbing in one of the unoccupied rooms. ‘Whatever is the matter?’ she asked.

‘Harry doesn’t want me to go through with it and made me
feel awful, and that Ken Woods is in the bar and I’m sure he’s come in about me. Well I don’t care what Flo says, I’ll never let him touch me!’

‘Now you listen to me, Daisy. You’ve decided to go down this path so you are going to toughen up! And let me tell you that the other girls aren’t too happy about you coming to work on the other side of the bar.’

‘Why ever not?’

Stella sat on the bed and glared at her, shaking her head. ‘You have no idea have you? For a while, until the novelty wears off, you will be taking their clients away from them. Men like a fresh piece of meat, you know.’ Stella didn’t enjoy talking to Daisy this way but she had to make the girl realize exactly what was at stake and what it was really like to be one of Flo’s girls.

Stella’s directness had the desired effect. ‘How long before the novelty
will
wear off do you think?’

‘Until you become as hard as us. At the moment all this innocence is very attractive to the men. You are unsullied goods and, even after you’ve lost your virginity, many men will want to be the one to instruct you in the art of lovemaking, wanting to feel they were the one to teach you to be a real woman – the others just want a change.’ She lit a cigarette.

‘Give me one of those will you?’ Daisy asked.

‘But you don’t smoke!’

‘There’re a lot of things I haven’t done until now!’ She lit the cigarette and choked on the first puff for a moment, then she seemed lost in thought.

Stella said nothing more, wondering what she was thinking.

‘Right!’ said Daisy eventually. ‘You’re quite right, I have to toughen up. I’m here to earn money, firstly to pay for Dad.’

‘What do you mean, firstly?’

‘Well it seems to me that I am worth a small fortune if I play my cards right. You once told me you had a plan and when you had enough cash you would leave, so that’s my plan too. I want to open my own gown shop. There is no way I can afford to do so, or there wasn’t until now.’

Stella looked amazed. ‘You are full of surprises, Daisy Gilbert!’

‘Let’s face it, Stella, my reputation will be in shreds the moment I take my first client so I may as well get something out of it for myself. My lovely dad isn’t long for this world and although I will
have helped him spend the last of his days in the right hands, it would be foolish to lose everything just for that. I have to think of the future. I don’t intend to end up being one of Flo’s girls until I’m past it. There’s no future in that.’

‘I have to say, Daisy, I didn’t think you had the balls for this. Now I think you just might have.’

‘However,’ Daisy said, ‘in the beginning when I am such valuable property to Flo, who let’s face it will make a packet, I will pick and choose my clients.’

‘You what?’

‘Oh yes, I will be exclusive, men will have to pay extra for me, while I have that power. After … God willing, I’ll be on my way!’

Stella started to laugh. ‘I am looking forward to Flo’s face when you lay down the law. She really won’t like that.’

‘She can put up with it! After all, she will want her cut won’t she? And I’ll fix my own price.’

‘Bloody hell, you’ll cause mayhem here. It’s such a good idea; I wonder how the others will take it?’

‘Maybe they will come up with a plan of their own. I best get back to the bar.’

It was a very different girl who lifted the end of the bar and returned to work than the one who had left in tears. Harry felt a new sense of purpose as Daisy set about serving the customers and made no further comment to his associate. But at the end of the evening when Flo arrived, he was surprised to hear Daisy say she wanted a word with her employer after they closed.

He had no idea what was being discussed between them in the small room at the back which served as Flo’s office, but he and the girls soon heard Flo’s raised voice.

‘You what?’

Stella sat listening with a satisfied smile. The outcome was going to be very interesting.

It was quite some time before Daisy walked out of the office, changed into her own clothes, put on her coat and walked towards the door. As she passed Stella, she smiled and winked.

Flo followed soon after and walking over to Stella demanded, ‘Have you been scheming with young Daisy?’

Feigning surprise, Stella said, ‘Scheming, me? I don’t know what you mean.’

With a look of suspicion, Flo just grumbled to herself and walked away.

Several of the girls watched Daisy leave. ‘There goes Miss Bloody Innocent!’ one exclaimed.

‘And our bloody money!’ said another. She looked angry and said, ‘Well she had me fooled. As a barmaid I thought she was rather sweet, a bit naive, but a nice kid … how very wrong I was. She’s just a scheming little hussy.’

A brunette was equally scornful. ‘I don’t know what you’re worried about; she has no idea what she’s in for. You wait until she gets her first punter, that’ll shake her to the roots I bet. She’ll wish she was back serving drinks instead of serving men
on
her back.’

‘Or any other position,’ laughed another. ‘It’ll be interesting to watch.’

Listening to their tittle-tattle, Stella agreed. It would be interesting and she wondered if Daisy’s determination would hold up? Time alone would tell.