The Reluctant Vampire (24 page)

And while Drina had dipped into enough male mortal minds to know that the majority of them seemed to think about sex with every fifth or sixth heartbeat, she was quite sure even they wouldn’t think it clever or exciting to drag a female away from the safety of the herd to indulge in a quicky when dismembered bodies of friends or partygoers were falling around them like snow in a Canadian winter.

Seriously, at one time she had actually considered it insulting to humans as a whole, but lately she’d started to find it an amusing reflection of the lack of intelligence of the moviemakers. Between that and the fact that a great majority of movies today appeared to be remakes, it made her wonder how the devil they made any money at all in Hollywood.

Drina almost groaned aloud as one of the characters locked themselves in a windowless bathroom to escape the axe-wielding psycho killer who simply axed his way through the door while the girl trembled in the tub waiting to die.

Couldn’t she even find something, anything, to try to hurt the guy with? Granted, perhaps not everyone kept scissors or other deadly items in their bathroom, but there was shampoo to squirt in his eyes and blind him, or even conditioner to squirt on the floor just inside the door so that the killer might slip and fall when he finally entered. That would at least give her the opportunity to race past and make a run for a smarter escape route. Surely anything was better than just standing there wailing and squealing and waiting to die with her boobs jiggling about? And it wasn’t like she didn’t have time to think while watching him slam the axe repeatedly through the door.

Shaking her head as the wailing, screeching, jiggling girl got the axe in the head, Drina reached for her drink, and then paused as motion in the backyard caught her eye. Frowning, she squinted, trying to make out what she’d seen. From her position, all she could see was the very back of the yard, and she’d thought she’d seen motion out there and a brief flash of reflected light.

Stephanie gasped in horror, and Drina glanced back toward the girl to see her cuddling a pillow and watching the screen wide-eyed as another character pretty much threw himself under the axe, or into it as the case may be.

Drina glanced back out the window, briefly, but then stood and stepped over Stephanie, heading for the door.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she said quietly.

“Do you want us to pause it?” Stephanie mumbled, eyes glued to the screen.

“No, I won’t be a moment,” Drina said, and slipped quickly from the room.

Chapter Twelve

Drina walked quickly into Elvi and Victor’s bedroom and right past their en suite bathroom, headed for the door to the hall. She didn’t have to go to the bathroom, of course. She’d only said that to keep from worrying Harper, and fortunately, Stephanie had been too wrapped up in the movie to read her and call her on the lie.

Not that there was anything to worry about, Drina thought. She’d probably just seen a neighborhood cat or something skulking across the yard or over the fence. But she was going to check it out anyway.

Armed and
not
in a nightie, she thought with a wry shake of the head as she hurried up the hall to the stairs and down to the first floor. Teddy, Alessandro, and Leonora were in the living room talking quietly while they awaited their shift sitting with Tiny and Mirabeau. They glanced over at the sound of her descending the stairs and Teddy immediately came out of the room.

“Problem?” he asked.

Drina shook her head. “I thought I saw something in the backyard, and I’m just going to take a quick peek around. I probably won’t even leave the deck.”

“I’ll come with you,” he said, moving to follow, but she shook her head as she walked into the pantry to don her coat and boots.

“There’s no need. In fact, it’s better if you watch from the window. If there
is
trouble and you’re with me, we could both be taken out. If you watch from inside, you can shout the alarm and warn the others, so they aren’t taken by surprise,” she pointed out sensibly. “Besides, it was probably just a cat skulking about or something. There’s no sense both of us getting cold.”

“Alessandro can come watch from the window to give the alarm if anything happens,” Teddy said grimly, dragging on his coat as she pulled on her boots. “I’m not letting you go out there by yourself. I’m police chief of this town, and if there’s trouble, I’m going to help take care of it. You’re not going out there on your own,” he finished stubbornly.

“What? Are you trying out for the role of the cop in a slasher movie?” she muttered with disgust, thinking they were usually just as stupid as the other characters in the movies.

“What?” he asked with bewilderment.

Drina straightened with a sigh, and said solemnly, “Look, Teddy, you’re being very brave and strong to want to accompany me. Unfortunately, you’re also being stupid. If there is a problem out there, you could only be a detriment rather than a help in this situation.”

He puffed up indignantly. “I know you immortals are stronger and faster and all that nonsense, but I have a gun and wouldn’t hesitate to use it.”

“Which makes you even more dangerous,” she said firmly. “Any immortal worth a spit could take control of you and make you turn the gun on me before I even realized they were there.” He blanched at the possibility, and she added gently, “The best thing you can do in this situation is watch from the window and shout to alert the others if there is a problem. That isn’t a reflection on you. It doesn’t mean you are weak and helpless. It is the smart thing to do, and you’re a smart man. So act like it and stop letting your pride make foolish decisions for you. And please try to remember I’m basically the immortal version of a cop. I am trained for this. I’m not some helpless female creeping out in her nightie.”

Confusion flickered across his face, telling her he didn’t recognize that reference either, but Teddy heaved a disgusted sigh, and nodded. “All right. But give me a signal if you see anything, anything at all.”

“I will,” she assured him, dragging on her coat and hat before turning back to the closet to retrieve one of the large suitcases Anders had stored in there when they’d thought they were basically babysitting. Opening it, she rifled through the contents, noting that a couple items were missing. Anders was already armed and she should have thought to arm herself before this, she knew. It was that old “new-life-mate” distraction thing getting in the way, Drina thought on a sigh as she retrieved a quiver of arrows, a crossbow, a gun, and a box of drug-laced bullets that should knock out any rogue for at least twenty to thirty minutes . . . enough time to secure them for pick up.

“Christ,” Teddy muttered, eyeing the arsenal she’d revealed.

“Did you think we went after rogues armed with just our charming smiles and good sense?” Drina asked with amusement as she strapped the quiver to her back for easy arrow retrieval, and then quickly loaded the gun.

“I don’t know. I guess I never really thought about it,” he admitted quietly, and then shook his head. “And I suppose you’re good with both those weapons?”

“With our eyesight, better than the best mortal sniper in the world,” she assured him, and then added wryly, “Having more than two millennia to practice and perfect the skill doesn’t hurt either.”

Teddy nodded solemnly, and then followed her into the kitchen. He paused at the window, though, and she glanced back to see him already peering fretfully out into the darkness. He didn’t glance around as she opened the door, but said gruffly, “Be careful out there.”

“I will,” she assured him, and slid outside.

It wasn’t as cold as it had been before this, and Drina wondered idly if this was the first sign that winter might be coming to an end here, or just a slight reprieve. Whatever the case, the snow on the deck was a bit slushy under her boots, so it was actually warm enough to bring on some melting, and the night was as still as death, with no wind to aggravate things. The one thing she’d noticed while here was that the cold that seemed bearable on a calm night, became completely unbearable if a wind kicked up. She’d also learned that it played havoc with something called the windchill factor, which as far as she could tell just meant it felt even colder than it really was.

Gaze skimming the backyard, Drina moved to the edge of the deck and paused at the bench that ran around it. She squinted, searching the dark shadows, automatically turning off the safety on her gun as she did, but didn’t see anything. Of course, she’d taken long enough to gear herself up that whatever she’d seen could have climbed up onto the roof by now, she thought a bit irritably.

The possibility made Drina glance back toward the house, her eyes searching out the roof. Of course, she couldn’t see all of it from that angle, so sighed and moved to the stairs to descend into the yard and start toward the back fence. She glanced back occasionally to see how much of the roof she could now make out, but was nearly to the back fence before she could see all of it.

There was nothing to see. No raccoons, hungry enough to break from their winter sleep and go in search of food, and no rogue creeping about, looking for a window to slip through.

Which didn’t mean they hadn’t moved around to the front of the house, Drina thought, and moved closer to the house until she was sure Teddy could see her, then pointed at herself, made a walking signal with her fingers, and then gestured toward the road-side of the house.

Teddy seemed to understand and, in response, pointed to himself, and then pointed in the same direction, which she presumed meant he would follow her progress via the ground-floor windows. Drina turned and started around the house, crossing the driveway, and then walking along the sidewalk beside the house to get to the front. She kept glancing up toward the roof as she went, spotting Teddy at various windows as he followed her progress, but also scanning the roof to be sure there was nothing and no one creeping up there.

At the front of the house, Drina paused at the wrought-iron gate and took a good long look at the yard and house. She noted Teddy’s presence at the front-door windows, but as in the back, the roof at the front was empty. She was about to turn away and head back around the house to return inside, when a rustling caught her ear and made her freeze.

Turning slowly, Drina searched the front yard more carefully, checking every nook and crevice. She frowned when she spotted movement in the shadowed snow in the corner of the yard in front of the upper and lower porch. Whatever was moving was too small to be human. She hesitated, but curiosity won out and she opened the front gate and stepped inside.

The worry about rogues gone now, Drina started across the yard, another concern rearing its head. It might be a poor abandoned, hungry, and freezing cat rooting in the snow for food. Drina liked animals, often more than mortals and immortals, and wasn’t above bringing the poor little bugger a bowl of milk or something to help it see its way through winter. Or if it looked uncared for, maybe even letting it sleep in the garage for the night, where it would be protected from the elements. She could always take it to an animal shelter in the morning.

“Oh, what a cutie,” she murmured, slinging the cross bow over her shoulder by the strap as she got close enough to better make out the animal. It was a chubby little sucker, white and black and digging away as if scratching at kitty litter. As she moved closer, she crooned, “Here kitty, kitty.”

The cat stilled at her call, growled, and stomped its feet like a child throwing a tantrum. It made Drina chuckle as she continued forward, and she bent forward, trying to make herself smaller and less threatening as she continued to call, “Here kitty, kitty,” hoping to lure it to her.

Animals were so adorable really; cute, cuddly, affectionate. In the darkest part of the front garden though it was, she could still make out that it was hunkered down to the ground, looking oddly flat and wide. Not starving then, but—

Drina stopped abruptly, a choked sound slipping from her throat as the damned thing lifted its tail and somehow pissed at her. She was a good eight or ten feet away still, and the damned thing hit her right in the face and chest and—

Dear Lord, the smell was the most god-awful stench she’d ever encountered. Drina staggered back, wondering with horror what the hell the animal had been eating that its urine would smell so damned foul. That was followed by the wonder as to whether it was some damned mutant to be able to pee out its butt at her, but they were brief thoughts that flashed across her mind, and in the next moment were gone, replaced with dismay as her eyes began to sting as if someone had shoved burning hot pokers in her eyes.

Gagging and choking, Drina stumbled and fell on her butt and rolled to the side. Her hands rose to cover her burning eyes, and moans were gargling from her mouth.

“Drina?”

She hadn’t heard the front door open, but she heard Teddy’s shout and the stomp of his feet as he raced down the front steps.

“What the hell—Dear God, it’s a skunk!” His approaching footsteps stopped abruptly on that almost falsetto squawk, and then continued more cautiously, appearing to curve to the side a bit rather than approach directly, as he muttered, “Shoo! Shoo you little bugger. Don’t make me shoot you, you damned varmint. Christ, you’ve been sprayed. I can smell you from here. Oh God Almighty. What the hell were you thinking playing with a skunk? For Christ’s sake. Shoo!” he repeated. “Damn, did it get you in the face? Shoo!”

Drina was lying still now, curled on her side with eyes closed, waiting for the nanos to fix whatever the heck the cat urine had done and listening to Teddy with confusion. She couldn’t tell from one moment to the next who he was addressing, herself or the cat, and she hadn’t a clue what he was talking about, except he seemed afraid of the little beast that had done this to her. Not that she blamed him really, considering the agony she was in, but the creature wasn’t much bigger than a kitten, and Teddy did have a damned gun and—cripes her eyes hurt.

“Shoot the damned thing,” Drina growled, deciding maybe she didn’t like animals so much anymore.