The Replacement (19 page)

I swallow down his loaded statement and click my pen. “That’s fine. What’ll it be?”

“French toast and a coffee, please.”

“That’s it?”

“For now.”

“No problem. I’ll have that right out for you.” I turn, feeling my stomach roll with the movement, but he stops me again. This time, when I face him, I absolutely cannot escape the intensity in his eyes and the fact that he’s ridiculously handsome. It’s goddamn unfair.

“You ever read the Weekly’s Sorry Secrets column?” he asks nonchalantly, flipping open the paper he’s brought with him. “I just started reading it a few weeks ago. There’s some crazy shit in there.”

“Um…yeah, yeah I do, actually. I didn’t think anyone paid attention to that column but me. It’s kind of—”

“Cheesy?”

“I was going to say it’s a guilty pleasure, but…”

“Why, do you find pleasure in other people’s hurt?”

My heart hammers against my chest and then plummets, cracking a few ribs along the way. “No. Yeah, maybe. It’s not that, really. It’s just—”

“Entertaining?”

“Will you stop putting words in my mouth?” I shift my weight, crossing my arms over my chest. I tear my gaze from his and look down.

“Sorry, am I not giving you a chance to speak? I know that’s frustrating, especially when you have something to say, right?”

“Ryder. That’s enough.”

He sets the paper down and drills holes into me. I force myself to meet his stare, and I see it, now—that indifferent expression he walked in with moments ago is replaced with hurt, and a tinge of anger. “There was so much I wanted to say to you that morning. You just walked out.”

I grind my teeth. “I know.”

“I’m so confused, Elise. I mean, right in the middle of that—” he lowers his voice and glances discreetly from left to right, “I thought things were going great.”

“They were.”

“Then what was the problem?”

“Ryder, this really isn’t the place or the time.”

“I know.” He returns his gaze to the newspaper and flips the page. “Which is why I want to take you out when you’re done with your shift.”

“I don’t get off for another four hours.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Ryder—”

“Elise, I’ll wait.”

“Fine,” I sigh, sliding my pen behind my ear. “I’ll be back with your breakfast.”

He thanks me and busies himself with the paper. I don’t make it ten feet before Brad pulls me aside. “Hey girl, homeboy’s lady over there keeps eyeing you like she wants to dig her claws into you. She’s kinda freaking me out. Is there something I should know?” Brad’s eyebrows rise as he gestures over his shoulder to Tim and Cheryl. I scratch at my temple and lower my head, carefully glancing behind me at Ryder. His eyes lift from the paper for a moment and meet mine, but he quickly averts them and resumes reading.

“Cheryl?” I ask quietly.

“Please don’t tell me you banged baldy over there.”

I smack his shoulder. “Don’t call him that.”

“Oh damn, you did, didn’t you? When was this?” He laughs but his eyes look worried as he glances in Tim and Cheryl’s direction. “Jay’s brother? Really, Elise?”

“Jay knows,” I whisper harshly. “So just leave it alone, Brad. Please?”

“Whatever, Princess.” He zips around me for the kitchen, shaking his head. “Just steer clear of them. He’s a prick, anyway.”

“You’re not telling me anything I don’t know.” I follow him to put Ryder’s breakfast order in, even more on edge now than when I seated Tim and Cheryl. Ryder and Tim are under the same roof, just tables away from one another, and it is making my nerves jump.

Thankfully, I manage to keep busy the rest of the morning, effectively dodging Natalie’s lunch invitation. Until it’s time to clock out, anyway.

“So, what do you think?” Natalie asks as she removes her apron, all chirpy and smiley. I can tell she’s still a little uncomfortable, but she’s hiding her timidity well. “You still up for lunch?”

“Actually, I might have to take a rain check.” I nod to Ryder, who’s still sitting and reading in the same booth he’s been sitting in since I waited on him this morning. He’s read the whole paper—or most of it, anyway—and then moved on to McCarthy’s “No Country for Old Men.”

“Oh, okay,” Natalie winks, “I understand. I can’t believe he’s still here. It’s getting serious, huh?”

“No,” I shake my head, “not at all. I just feel bad blowing him off after waiting for me all morning, you know?”

“It’s totally fine.” She gently touches my shoulder and adjusts her purse strap. “He’s hot. You’re crazy if you pass that up for boring ol’ me.” Laughing, she waves and starts for the door. “Maybe some other time. See ya.”

“Um, hey…” I take a step forward and stop, unsure of what to do with my hands. I smooth them over my hair and tighten my ponytail. “I never told you thank you. For the snow globe, I mean. I was going through some shit that day and my head was a mess. I didn’t mean to…yeah, anyway, it was a great gift. Really. So, thanks.”

“Oh, no,” she quickly raises a hand to stop me, “you don’t have to…just don’t worry about it, okay? I never meant to upset you, and I’m sorry that I did.”

“But you didn’t.” I press my lips together. I want to just come out with it, I want to burst and tell her the truth. But instead, I lie some more. “I was sick that day and I just wasn’t myself.”

“Yeah, Brad mentioned you had to run out back because you were nauseated or something. I just thought, I don’t know.” She giggles and looks down. “Maybe I misread things. I thought we were friends, you know? But maybe…maybe that wasn’t mutual or something.”

My mind is swimming, searching and struggling for the words, but it comes up short. I can’t tell this girl we’re friends, because we’re not. I’m not her friend, anyway. What she’s saying is actually an accurate guess, only she’s missing the part about me screwing her boyfriend. Despite all of this, I open my mouth to lie some more, to spare her feelings and save my ass, but Ryder appears at my side.

“Hey Natalie,” he replies, giving her a small wave. “How’ve you been?”

“Hey Ryder, good thanks.” Her eyes quickly flick away from mine and land on Ryder. “How about you? You and Elise have plans this afternoon, I see.”

“Something like that.” Ryder unleashes his sexy dimple and his hand touches the small of my back. I feel his warmth spread to my toes.

“Cool, you guys have fun. I’m off to run some errands. See you guys later?”

“Sure, see ya,” I say, giving Ryder a side glance. He’s watching me, even as Natalie says her goodbyes.

“Can I steal you away now?” he asks as soon as she’s gone.

“I think that can be arranged.” Despite my unease, a grin splits my lips and I hurry off to say goodbye to Jay and Brad. Brad smiles cheekily, making sure to let me know he’s well aware I ditched hooking up with him for Ryder, but I don’t acknowledge the gesture.

As Ryder walks me to his Jeep, I’m beginning to sweat, but I do my best to maintain a composed façade. This has the potential to turn fifty shades of awkward any second. “So, where to?” I ask when I click my seatbelt.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Uh oh.”

He snickers and starts the engine, making conversation about the past week and how his parents want him to fly out to Connecticut for Christmas. He’s not thrilled by the invitation, but he’s considering it.

“So, what are you doing for Christmas?” he asks as we make our way out of downtown Gig Harbor. “You going out of town or anything?”

“Nope. Just staying home, nothing exciting.”

“Wait, by yourself?”

“Yeah.”

Ryder glances at me with narrowed eyes and his hands grip the steering wheel. “You’re telling me you’re going to be alone on Christmas?”

“It’s not a big deal.” I shrug and look out the passenger window, catching glimpses of the harbor through the winter-worn trees.

“Elise, there’s no way you’re spending Christmas by yourself. Not happening, sorry.”

“I really don’t think that’s any of your concern.”

“Seriously?”

Before I can respond, the Jeep jolts to the right and the tires screech as Ryder rolls us to a hard stop on the side of the road. My seatbelt digs into my chest and my head smacks the headrest as I look around. “What the hell are you doing?” There’s nothing around but trees and more trees, and the steep road ahead of us, leading further into the woods.

Ryder unclicks his seatbelt and turns the car off, yanking the keys from the ignition. I glance over at him and he’s breathing heavily as he stares straight ahead. “You are my concern,” he says evenly. “Whatever we started, whatever we have going here…I fucking
like
it, okay? And I’m pretty sure you were liking it too, until—” he gives the steering wheel a frustrated jab, “until you took off. Now you’re treating me like just another customer back at the diner, and saying shit like that? Just tell me what the hell is going on, will you? Can you help me out here?”

I suddenly feel too close to him. The air is suffocating and the silence stretches between us.

“That’s the problem,” I answer quietly, my voice breathy. “I wish I could tell you, but I can’t.”

“I think you can.”

“I can’t,” I insist, unbuckling my seatbelt, too. I finger my collar, desperate for some cool air. “I have no excuse, Ryder. All I can say is…I’m not…I’m not who you think I am. I don’t do this.”

“You don’t do what?”

“This.” My left hand flails between us as I search for the words. I can’t find them.

“What do you want, Elise? Just tell me what you want. Just be real with me. If you’re not interested, I’ll leave you the hell alone, but you have to tell me.”

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m cupping his face. “No. It’s not that, okay? I want you. I do.”

His gaze travels down to my mouth and a ghost of a smile traces his lips before he hesitantly leans in. He stares for another beat before he kisses me, and the second I feel his warmth, I sink into him, breathing deeply. “You’re still a little piece of heaven, baby,” he pants against my mouth, “even if your halo’s broken.”

I suck on his bottom lip and open my eyes to find him staring back at me. Our tongues dance and teeth clash, but our gazes are rock steady. A surge of guilt, gratitude, and something stronger swells tight in my chest, and I know in that moment I have to tell him.

Maybe not everything, but something.

I can’t go on like this. I’ve hurt a lot of men, but I’ll lose sleep at night if I damage this one. “Ryder,” I whisper, slowly pulling back. His arms snake out and grasp my hips, lifting me up and over the console. He sets me down on his lap and cups the back of my head, silencing my words by kissing the life out of me.

“Don’t,” he says, trailing a hand down my neck. It drops to trace along the undersides of my breasts, triggering chills on my arms and legs. “You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready. Just don’t leave me like that again, okay?” His hands slide down underneath my ass and cup me, and his head tilts back against the headrest as he presses hot kisses beneath my ear. My fingers begin fumbling with his belt buckle but he stops me, his laughter tickling my neck. “You have no idea how much I’d love to take you right here.”

“What’s stopping you?” I try for his belt again but he pulls away from my neck and collects my wrists behind my back.

He grins up at me, his eyes hazy with desire. “The fact that your surprise is waiting, just up the road.”

I whimper playfully, like a sad puppy, and even pout for good measure, tossing in my sexiest smile. “Please? Just a quickie?”

He groans as I wiggle my hips, but he stands his ground. “You’re bad news. You’re going to slay me, have I told you that?”

“Maybe.” I bat my eyelashes.

He shakes his head and lifts me off him, leaning over for one last kiss as he buckles my seatbelt. His fingers linger on the ends of my hair as he pulls back, and once again, I feel pampered—entirely spoiled by his attention and gentleness. My mind squirms, but my body and heart seem to warm to it like a stray kitten warms to a new owner. The discomfort in my stomach is tamed by the fascination.

Ryder restarts the car and we turn back onto the road, arriving at a small grocery store a few minutes later. “This will be real quick,” he says, jumping out to help me from the Jeep. “I just have to grab a few things.”

“This isn’t the surprise?” I take his hand and let him lead me into the store.

“How lame do you think I am?”

“Well, you did turn down a hot quickie in the Jeep back there. That was pretty lame.”

“You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you?”

“Are you regretting it yet?”

Ryder groans deeply and discreetly adjusts his groin as we step under the shopping plaza overhang. “Immensely.” He gives my hand a squeeze and we enter the store, heading straight for the freezer aisle.

“Ice cream in the winter?” Amused, I watch him load up a basket with four cartons of ice cream, all different flavors.

“Winter is the best time for ice cream.”