The Righteous and The Wicked (34 page)

She wants to hold him, and kill him, and stab him, and kiss him, all at the same time. But all she can manage is one whispered word.

“Eric.”

The pull Emma felt since the moment she saw him rises within her. She longs to touch him, to breathe in his scent, to feel his hands. She longs to see his haunting blue eyes.

He hears her voice and the hammer drops to his side. He smiles with his back to her, his eyes on the chime. He wants to look at her, but he’s afraid of what he’ll see. The silver chime rings out again like a clock tolling the final hour.

He turns toward her and the look on his face makes Emma’s heart overflow, but she fights to conceal it. Underneath her love and longing is hurt. He hurt her.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

His lips won’t let the smile that wants to creep across his face take over. “The, um . . . the wind chime . . . it must have fallen. I was just . . . fixing it.”

He fidgets with the hammer then slips the tool into the back pocket of his jeans. He takes a step and Emma puts her hand up to stop him from moving further. “Wait.”

He freezes. Emma sees that it’s killing him to stay away. She knows he wants to touch her, because she feels the same. But right now, she needs answers. He
owes
her an answer.

“Where have you been?”

“Toronto.”

“What were you doing there?”

He looks so vulnerable Emma feels her heart ache for him. Her body moves toward him in spite of her pride telling her not to.

He gazes at the paint-chipped, rotten wood beneath his feet. “I was trying to get better.”

She steps closer and he looks up. If she reached her arm out, she could touch him, but she doesn’t.

“Are you?”

He looks at her body from head to toe. He makes her feel naked even though she’s clothed.

“Am I what?”

“Are you . . . better?”

“I believe that I am.” He moves closer to her, and now
her
eyes are on the floorboards. If she looks at him, she will drown. She has spent so long getting over him, she just can’t let him back into her life. Stubborn, she folds her arms across her chest, fighting the urge to touch him and to forgive him.

She lets her resentment and her grief flow. “I hope it was worth it, Eric. Do you know how it hurt me to be here without you? After you promised me that you would never leave? Then to see that
bitch
sell the house you worked so hard on? It killed me.”

His hand reaches for her and makes contact. He just brushes her hip with his fingertips. “I’m sorry. More than you can ever know.”

He slides his fingertips over the satin of her nightgown. He can feel the heat of her skin. He can see that she’s trembling, yet she won’t look him in the eye. Another step and his hips press against hers. He reaches for her soft cheek and tilts her head up. He sees the blush of her skin and her sweet lips. Her dark eyes are moist with the tears she’s holding back.

“Emma . . .” He leans in. He wants to savor this kiss, to drink her, to taste her.

“No.” She pushes him back, shaking her head. “You should have called me. You should have stayed. You should’ve never left!” The flood of feelings she’s been trying to subdue bubbles over.

“Emma, I had to.”

She reaches for him, but it’s with aggression, not affection. She pounds her fists against his chest. “No, you didn’t! You should’ve stayed. You should’ve stayed here and stood beside me, and fought whatever it is you needed to fight against. You should have fought for
me,
Eric! For
this
love. You should have stayed and fought, instead of leaving me here alone!”

She’s crying and shaking with anger, but Eric’s angry, too. She has no idea how hard it was for him to leave and stay away.

“You don’t think I wanted to? I
did
fight Emma. I fought every day. Don’t you see that I
had
to do this? If I didn’t, I would have just kept fucking things up for us. I didn’t want it to be like that. I wanted it to be right. Fuck! Please, Emma.”

He leans toward her, but she backs away from him across the porch. Eric does not relent. His advance meets her retreat. He won’t let her do this. He won’t let her push him away.

She backs up against the house and stops. He places his hands on each side of her head, trapping her against the wall. She moves from side to side, but she can’t escape him now. Her breasts rise and fall with her quick breaths. She keeps her hands pressed against his chest so he can’t come any closer to her. They are locked in battle.

“What do you think is going to happen? Do you think I’m just going to take you back? Like nothing happened?” Tears flow down her face.

His face is an inch from hers and he meets her furious fire with his own. “What do you want me to do? Just give up? Are
you
giving up? Because I can’t do that, Emma.” If she refuses him now, his trials will have been in vain. Nothing matters to him without her.

Eric removes his hands from the wall and steps back. “I did fight for you. You couldn’t see me, but every moment I was fighting for
this
.” He touches her chest, where her pulse pounds beneath her flesh. “Now I want you to open your heart and welcome me home.”

Her animosity melts away at his words, and love surges in her heart. She cradles his face, pulling his mouth to hers. Her lips are hungry, angry, and loving, all at once. He kisses her back, touching her face, her hair, her neck. It’s a kiss that demands everything and surrenders everything. It’s the end of something and the beginning of something else. It is honest and it is beautiful, all-consuming in its depth.

Eric lifts her up and presses into her. She wraps her legs around him and moans. He breaks the kiss, pushing her hair from her eyes.

“Do you forgive me?” He wants nothing more than this.

Emma remembers a time when he had to work for her forgiveness. She smirks at him. “No.”

He grins and carries her into the house and up the staircase. When they reach her bedroom door, he presses her against it and then pulls her nightgown over her head. He stands there looking at her as if she’s a treasure, a gift. He pulls off his shirt and takes both of her breasts in his hands. He massages them, eyeing them with yearning. Then his mouth descends and kisses her small, pert nipples.

“I was so sure that I would never see you again,” she whispers.

His mouth is so warm and so welcome. Her skin tingles and prickles with electric desire. She thought she’d never feel his touch again, and now that he’s here, her body and her heart are so grateful.

“I could never stay away from you, Emma. I love you too much. I could never stay away.”

His adoration of her is relentless and her body responds to him with intensity. Her breasts tremble as his tongue encircles her pointed pink flesh and she starts to feel faint. Her legs quiver and she threads her fingers into his hair in an attempt to keep herself steady. He slides his hand between her legs and sucks at her breasts harder. He slips his long fingers into her and she grips his arm. She can feel his muscles ripple.

“God, I missed this.” Eric moves his lips away from her breasts and up to her delicate neck. He breathes in her sweet perfume and licks just below her ear. He kisses her neck, down to her collarbone. He freezes for a second when she unzips his pants and he feels her hands encircle his swollen hardness. She strokes him and he presses his lips to hers. They both pant and gasp for breath as he opens her bedroom door and lays her down on the bed. He looks at her with adoration as he rubs his thumb across her parted lips.

There’s a moment of exquisite suspense as Emma guides him inside her. When he enters her, a blossoming burn radiates through each of their bodies, beginning where they are joined. There is no distance between them now; the love they feel ebbs and flows. He slides his fingers down her neck and over her breasts, he grips her hips in his rough hands, and they melt against each other as he pushes deeper inside. He grazes his lips over her delicate jaw, kissing her once again. In this kiss, they drown.

“Each second without you was torture.” He holds her body to his and looks into her eyes. He wants to know she feels the same.

“I dreamed about you. I dreamed you never left,” she whispers.

She grips his shoulders and he watches the way her eyes beg him for more. He’s ecstatic to feel her body against his and it’s what he wants, not what he needs. He’s triumphant. He won the battle. He has defeated the darkest parts of himself.

“Tell me that you forgive me, Emma.”

Eric may have beaten his demons, but Emma has embraced hers. “Make me come. Then you’ll be forgiven.”

He moans as her tongue meets and tangles with his, binding them together even further as he cradles her face. He slows his pace and they kiss and rock together, their hearts swollen with gratitude and joy. He pulses his hips against her harder, pulling her against him, forcing his cock deeper inside as his lust courses through his body. There is no shadow of his darkness, no compulsion, just his desire to be with her. To please Emma—just Emma.

There are so many things she wants to say, but no words feel right. She speaks to him with her body, pulling him closer, touching him everywhere, relishing the pleasure of having him inside her once again. She has been lost and left, and she has learned how to live without the crutch of another. She has learned how to be alone. That knowledge was a gift she didn’t ask for, but it has made this moment so much sweeter. She doesn’t need him to make her whole. She is whole without him.

Both Eric and Emma feel it at the same time, like a page turning. Their lovemaking becomes a greedy frenzy and they grasp at each other’s flesh, gasping and moaning and cursing.
They move together with haste, each approaching the threshold of pleasure.

“Eric, kiss me, please.”

He licks at her lips and then presses his mouth to hers. The kiss causes her to tighten around him as she comes and his whole body jolts. He feels his own release speeding toward him. His thighs burn; he feels himself tightening and constricting before he unleashes himself. His cock convulses and he cries out with pleasure and then rests his head against hers. Dizzy with satisfaction, he collapses beside her.

Emma lies on the cool of her sheets, naked, next to the man she loves. Exhausted, but satisfied, and in awe of him. In awe of the way he makes her feel and that he has returned to her. Her heart couldn’t be more full than it is right now. She runs her hand through his sweat-soaked hair as they struggle to catch their breath.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he says, with eyes closed.

“Why did you sell the house?” She fears his response.

He opens his eyes. “Because that house wasn’t my home.”

She looks away from him, hurt that he doesn’t dream of a life together the way she does. Eric grips her chin and pulls her gaze back to his.

“Emma, that house was not my home. My home is with you—wherever you are.” He touches her heart and presses his ear to her chest. He listens to it beating and speaks the truest words that have ever left his lips. “
This
is home.”

She closes her eyes and lets his words sink into her soul.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you.” He places his head beside hers on the pillow and strokes his hand along her face. “I know how much pain you have been through. You have to know that I never wanted to make you feel that way.”

She nods. “I know. I know you had to leave, and I forgive you.”

She sits up. Her bare back is to him and her pale skin is illuminated by the morning sun. She hugs her knees and Eric sits up beside her.

“It was hard. Being without you. It
did
hurt.” She’s quiet for a moment, lost in her thoughts. “You know, when I . . . lost the baby . . . I was sure nothing could ever hurt more than that. That feeling of loss, grief. I was sure that I would never, that I
could
never feel whole again. I just couldn’t understand why that had to happen to me.”

She turns her head so she can look in his eyes. “It didn’t make sense, but now I see. I see why it happened. I have the answer. It had to happen so that I could find
you
. I never would’ve come back here if I hadn’t lost the baby. I would still be with Aaron and I never would have known you.”

He wraps his arms around her and lies back on the bed, pulling her down with him, holding her tight to his chest. He holds her close, but doesn’t speak. He doesn’t know what to say.

“Eric, when you were gone, it hurt, but I knew there had to be a reason for my pain. Even though it seemed impossible, I had faith you would return. No matter how much suffering I endured, I kept my faith in God, or the universe, or whatever you want to call it. Knowing that there was a reason helped me to keep my faith, but
surviving
—living through that pain—that gave me faith in myself. I learned how strong I am.”

Eric’s in awe of her—her bravery, her faith, her ability to love and to forgive. “I love you, Emma.”

She looks up at him, and smiles. “I love you, too.”

He kisses her lips. “I don’t deserve you.”

She slides her long leg up over his hip and he pulls her body closer to him. “Yes, you do.”