The Ring (38 page)

The ceremony took place on a brilliantly sunny morning in Harvard Yard between the Widener Library and the Appleton Chapel. There seemed to be a sea of sparkling young faces and tall, lean bodies draped in cap and gown, waiting to receive the diplomas they had struggled toward for so long. Ariana watched them, smiling mistily, as Max sat beside her on the narrow folding chairs, holding her hand and noticing how the large emerald she now wore constantly sparkled in the sun.

Doesn't he look handsome, Max? She leaned gently toward the distinguished white-haired gentleman he had become, and he patted her arm and smiled.

How can you tell, Ariana? I'm not even sure which one is he.

Some people just have no respect at all. They whispered at each other like two children, the laughter still fresh in their eyes. He had been her constant companion now for almost twenty-five years, and they still enjoyed each other's company after all this time.

She smiled up at him, her golden beauty not yet faded and only slightly quieter with time. The features were still perfect, her hair a softer gold, the eyes still enormous and the same deep blue. It was Max who had changed greatly, still tall, spare, almost lanky, but with a full mane of white hair now. Nineteen years older than Ariana, he had just turned sixty-four.

Oh, Max, I'm so proud of him.

This time his arm went gently around her and he nodded. You should be. He's a good man. And then he smiled again. And a good lawyer. It's a damn shame he wants to work for that highfalutin fancy firm. I would be proud to have an associate like him. But although Max's law practice in New York had grown to considerably proportions, it was still a relatively small show compared to the firm that had already made Noel an offer the summer before. He had clerked for them for one summer, and they were quick to offer him a job the moment he would graduate from Harvard Law. And now that moment had come.

By noon it was all over, and he returned to hug his mother warmly and shake hands with Uncle Max.

Well, you two, surviving? I was afraid by now you'd both be cooked by the sun. The huge blue eyes danced as he looked down at his mother, and she smiled up into the face that was so exactly Manfred's that it still startled her at times. He had the tall, lean frame of his father, the broad shouders, the graceful hands, yet oddly, now and then there was a look ' an expression ' some vague hint of Gerhard, and she would smile as she looked at Noel ' yes, they did live on in her son.

Darling, it was a lovely ceremony. And we're both so proud.

So am I, you know. He bent the broad shoulders lower to speak to her softly, and she touched his face with the hand that wore her mother's signet ring on her little finger and the ring Manfred had given her, which had never left her hand since her son had been born. In all those early years after Paul had left her, she had never given up the treasured rings. They were not only her last security, but they remained the only reminders of the past. In time Max had won her the restitution, both for the house in Grunewald and some of its contents and Manfred's schloss. The amount was not an overhwelming fortune, but it was nonetheless very handsome and had been enough to invest well and provide herself and the child with a healthy income, at least for the rest of Ariana's life. She needed no more than that. For her the days of glory now were gone. She was able to quit the bookshop. She bought a small town house on the East Side, in the upper Seventies, invested all her money, and spent every living, waking moment caring for her only child.

For the first few years Max had tried to talk her into getting married, but after that he stopped. Neither of them wanted any more children, and in their own way they were both stil too tied to those they had loved in the past. Instead, for a while Max rented a small apartment, and eventually at Ariana's urging he bought a small but handsome co-op across the street from her house. They went to the opera, theater, dinner, disappeared occasionally together on weekends, but in the end, they went home to their separate retreats. For a long time Ariana did so because of Noel, but eventually it just became a habit. And now, even in the seven years he had been at Harvard, Ariana still spent much of her time in her own place.

You have every right to be proud, darling. , She gazed at him from under her straw hat and he wondered for an instant, as Max did so often, if she would ever show the signs of age. She was still as spectacularly pretty as she had been when she was a girl.

But Noel was shaking his head and smiling. I didn't mean that I was proud of me he whispered. I meant that I was proud of you. She laughed at him softly in amusement, touched his face, and tucked her arm into Max's.

I don't think you're supposed to say things like that to your mother, Noel.

That's right. Besides Max smiled at them both I might get jealous. They both laughed and Ariana took hold of Max's hand. So when do you start work, Noel?

The hell I'm going to work now, Uncle Max. Are you kidding? I'm taking a vacation!

Ariana turned to look at him with surprise and pleasure. Are you? Where are you going? He hadn't said anything to her yet. But he was a man now. She didn't expect him to share all his plans. Wisely, with Max's help, she had learned to let go slowly when he had first left for Harvard in the fall of 1963.

I thought I'd go to Europe.

Really? She looked at him in amazement. On their trips together they had gone to California, Arizona, the Grand Canyon, New Orleans, New England ' everywhere except Europe, because neither Max nor she had ever been able to go back. What was the point of returning to old places, seeing the homes and haunts and hideouts of the people they had loved, people who were gone but not yet forgotten? Max and she had both agreed long before never to go back. Where in Europe, Noel? For an instant she paled.

I haven't decided. And then he looked at her gently. But I'll probably stop in Germany, Mother. I have to ' I want to ' She nodded slowly. Can you understand that?

She smiled gently up at the son who was so suddenly a man. Yes, darling, I do. Yet she was surprised to realize that it hurt her. She had wanted so to give him everything American, to create a world where there would be no room for Germany in his life, where the boy would be content with what he had here, and never want to go back to her old world.

Don't look so unhappy, Ariana. Max looked at her gently while Noel went off to get their lunch. For him it isn't going back.' It's simply going, to see something he's heard about, read about It doesn't have all the deeper meaning you want to give it Trust me. She looked up at him and smiled slowly.

Maybe you're right.

It's just a healthy curiosity, believe me. Besides, it's not just your country, Ariana, it was his father's. And they both knew that to Noel that was sacred. To Noel, Manfred had always been something of a god. Ariana had told him all about his father, how he had saved her from the Nazis, how good he'd been, how much they'd cared for each other. He'd seen the photographs of his father in uniform. Nothing had been hidden from him, nothing spared.

Max looked at her again as they sat there, and patted her hand in the warm Cambridge sun. You did a good job with him, Ariana.

You think so? She peered at him mischievously from beneath her hat.

Yes, I do.

And you had no hand in it at all, did you?

Well, just a little '

Max Thomas, you're such a fibber, He's as much your son as mine. For a long moment Max didn't answer, and then he kissed her softly on the neck.

Thank you, my darling.

They both jumped, startled as Noel towered above them, carrying two trays and wearing a broad smile. I mean really, everyone will know you're not married if you sit around here necking. The three of them laughed and Ariana blushed.

Really, Noell

Don't look at me like that, Mother. I wasn't sitting here behaving like a teen-ager. ' and in broad daylight! He emphasized it again and all three of them laughed together, and then he smiled at them very gently. It's nice to see you two so happy.

Weren't we always? Ariana looked at Max in surprise, and then at her son, who nodded slowly.

Yes, amazingly, you always were. I think that's fairly rare though. He smiled again. And this time Ariana quietly kissed Max.

Perhaps it is.

The three of them settled down to lunch then, and it was almost time for the guest speaker when suddenly Noel stood up and waved to a friend. For a minute the gown billowed as he signaled and tried to urge whoever it was to approach, and then he sat down smiling broadly, with a look of victory he shared with his mother and Max.

She's coming over.

Is she? Max teased, and this time it was Noel who blushed. And a moment later they were joined by a young lady. Noel instantly stood up. She was amazingly tall and graceful and as dark as Noel was fair. She had huge green eyes, an olive complexion, and a long, straight sheaf of shining black hair. She had long, thin legs and Ariana noticed that she wore sandals.

Max, Mother, this is Tamara. It was a congenial introduction. The girl smiled, showing perfect teeth. Tammy, my mother and Uncle Max.

How do you do. She shook hands politely, casting a great shaft of the raven hair over her shoulder, and then she looked into Noel's eyes. For an instant there seemed to be a kind of secret, a message of some kind, an exchange. And Max found himself smiling at them. That kind of look between two people only meant one thing.

Are you also at the law school, Tamara? Ariana looked at her politely, trying not to feel awed by the presence of this girl in her son's life. But there was very little awesome about her; she seemed like a very open, friendly girl.

Yes, I am, Mrs. Tripp.

Yes, but she's still a baby lawyer Noel teased as he touched a lock of the shining hair. Just a fledgling greenie, he teased, and her eyes shot friendly daggers.

I still have two more years to finish, she explained to Max and Ariana. Noel is all pleased with himself today. As she said it, it was as though there was an understanding between them. As though Noel were more hers than theirs. Ariana understood the message and smiled.

Maybe we're all a little impressed with him, Tamara. But your turn will come. Will you be staying on at Harvard?

I think so. But again there was a quick look between the two.

Noel treated the matter casually and glanced quietly at Tamara. You'll be seeing her in New York sometime. If she ever does her homework. Right, little one?

Oh ! Look who's talking! Suddenly as Ariana and Max watched in amusement, they were both forgotten by the youngsters. Who finished your last paper for you? Who did all your typing for the last six months? But they were both laughing and he quickly put a finger to his lips.

Sshh, that's a secret, for chrissake, Tammy! You want them to take back my diploma?

No. She grinned at him, I just want them to give it to me, so I can get out of here, too. But at that moment the guest speaker was ready to address them; Noel shushed Tamara, who shook hands again with Max and his mother and then disappeared to rejoin her friends.

She's a very pretty young lady, Max whispered to Noel with a smile. Quite a striking beauty in fact.

Noel nodded. And one day she'll be a hell of a good lawyer. He glanced into the distance admiringly, and looking at her son, so young, so tall, so golden, Ariana just sat back and smiled.

That night they had dinner at Locke Ober's, but all three of them were exhausted, and the subject of Tamara did not come up again. Max and Noel talked law while Ariana half listened, watched the people, and thought once or twice of the girl. For some reason she had an impression that she'd already seen her, but she wondered if that was because Noel had had a snapshot of her somewhere in the apartment in New York. Anyway, it didn't seem too important. However taken with each other they seemed to be, their paths were now going to take very different turns.

Don't you think so, Ariana? Max looked over at her with a raised eyebrow and then grinned. Flirting with the younger men, darling?

Oh, my, he caught me. I'm sorry, darling. What did you say?

I asked you if you didn't think he'd prefer Bavaria to the Black Forest.

Her face clouded at the question. Maybe. But frankly, Noel, I think you ought to go to Italy instead.

Why? He faced her squarely. Why not Germany? What are you afraid of, Mother? Privately, Max was glad that the boy had the courage to bring it out.

I'm not afraid of anything. Don't be silly.

Yes, you are.

She hesitated for a long moment, looked at Max, and then dropped her eyes. The three of them had always been so honest, but now suddenly it hurt her to say what she was thinking. I'm afraid that if you go back, you'll find some piece of you that belongs there. You'll feel at home.

And then what? You think I'll stay there? He was smiling gently at his mother and quietly reached out and took her hand.

Maybe. She sighed softly. I don't really know what I'm afraid of, except that ' I left there so long ago, and it was such an ugly time. For me, all I can think of is what I lost ' the people I loved.

But don't you think I have a right to know something more about them, too? To see the country where they lived? Where you lived as a child? To see the house where you lived with your father, where my father lived with his parents? Why can't I see it, just so I know it's there, somewhere, a part of me the way it has stayed a part of you?

There was a long silence at the table and Max spoke first. The boy is right, Ariana. He has a right to that And then he looked at Noel It's a beautiful country, son, It always was and I'm sure it will be. And maybe one of the reasons we don't go back is because we still love it so much and it hurt us so deeply to know what happened.

I understand that, Max. And then he looked at his mother again gently, with compassion. It can't hurt me, Mother, I never knew it as it was. I'm just going there to see it, that's all, and then I'll come back to you and my own country, a little richer for what I understand about you and myself.