The River Maid (10 page)

“What colour do you like?” Her Highness asked. She held samples of the fabric against Lorelei’s skin.

“What colour does Christian like?” Lorelei asked instead.

Her Highness hesitated. “He likes many colours, but what matters is what you like.”

“I like whatever Christian likes.”

“I see.” Her Highness regarded her for a moment, a worried expression creasing her brow. “I know he likes blue.”

The dressmaker brought out a blue dress and helped Lorelei into it. The woman did up the tiny buttons that ran down the back and then used pins to adjust the hem and pull in the waist.

“Will Christian like it?” Lorelei asked when the dressmaker had finished the alterations. She spun around before the mirror.

“I’m sure he will,” Her Highness replied.

“We have the slippers to go with it as well,” the dressmaker said. Her assistant, a young girl who hadn’t spoken, brought out a pair of blue silk slippers. The dressmaker reached for Lorelei’s shoes.

“No!” Lorelei said, jerking her legs away. She ran to the opposite corner of the room and stood there trembling, prepared to flee.

The dressmaker looked to Her Highness for help.

“We will take the shoes and the dresses,” Her Highness said. “Lorelei can try on the rest of the clothes back at the castle.” 

Christian
’s mother looked at Lorelei strangely in the carriage, but didn’t say anything about how she had behaved. They returned to the castle laden down with parcels and packages. Christian met them at the door and laughed when he saw all the boxes being carried in.

“
Do I have any money left?” he asked.

“
Enough,” Her Highness said, smiling. 

Christian helped Lorelei down from the carriage.
“I thought you might like to go out this afternoon,” he said.

“
I would like that.” She would go anywhere with him.

After lunch, he led her outside to where an open top carriage waited. Christian helped her up. He flicked the reins and they took off. She watched the way he controlled the horse, his hands firm and strong on the reins. Pulling off her bonnet, she shook out her long hair. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting her hair stream behind her. She felt like she was back in the river, racing through the water.

It began to rain. Fat droplets splashed onto her head. Christian pulled the horses to a stop and jumped down. He tied the reins to a post that seemed to be there for that purpose and then lifted her down.

“
We can wait inside until the rain has passed,” he said.

She didn
’t mind the rain, but she let Christian lead her into a little garden, past rows of small stones carved with words.

“
What is this place?” she asked.

“
It’s a church.”

She didn
’t know what that meant. He pulled open a heavy wooden door and she followed him inside. This building was different from the other buildings in the town. Inside, it was dark and gloomy like her cave. Thick stone walls surrounded them. Pieces of coloured glass made beautiful pictures out of the windows. She stopped before one of a woman in a white dress with blazing golden hair. Feathery wings sprouted from her back.

“She has wings,” she said to Christian in wonder. She didn’
t know humans could have wings.

“She’s an angel,” Christian said, his voice quiet as he came to stand beside her. 
 

“
What is an angel?”

“
When you die they take your soul to heaven.”

“
Does everyone go to heaven?” she asked, looking up at him.

“
Everyone with a soul.”

She didn
’t think she had a soul. She had never thought about dying before. She had never needed too. But she had given up her immortality now and used up all of her magic. She could have lived for centuries more, but she had wanted to be with Christian. But it wouldn’t last forever; one day she would be parted from him. It hit her then, everything that she had given up.

“
I don’t want to die.”

Christian laughed. She hadn
’t meant to say it aloud. “You have a long time to go yet,” he said.

“
How long?"

“
I don’t know. No one knows for sure. Fifty years perhaps.”

Fifty years was nothing to her.  

He stared up at the stained glass. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Heaven is a nice place. You’re with those that you love.”

But she wouldn’t be with Christian. She wasn’t a real girl.

“The rain has stopped,” Christian said. “I need to get you back before dinner.” He held out his arm and she took it automatically and let him lead her out of the church.

Outside, Adrianna
’s mother stood across the road, staring at them with accusing eyes. She looked terrible; her hair uncombed and tangled, her face haggard. Lorelei would have stumbled if not for Christian. Christian inclined his head politely to the woman and guided Lorelei to the carriage. He stripped off his coat and placed it on her seat so that she wouldn’t get her dress wet before lifting her up. He untied the reins and climbed up and settled next to her, his leg pressing against hers. Lorelei looked back as the horses pulled away. Adrianna’s mother continued to stare after her. Feeling uneasy, Lorelei shivered and pressed closer to Christian.

Chapter Eleven

At times, being a mermaid was almost wonderful. An entire world existed just beneath the river
’s surface; a world that only she could see. Adrianna no longer woke expecting to see her legs back. Her tail was part of her now and she no longer gave any thought to it. It was becoming harder and harder to remember that she hadn’t always been a mermaid. That once she had been a girl.

She became faster at swimming. Now, when she chased the fish she could catch them. She would tug their tails to let them know she had won the game before letting them go. She swam over to St Goar and ventured further up the river, but she always stayed close so that she could get back to her cave before nightfall.

Taking her treasures back to her cave one morning, she was placing them alongside Lorelei’s when she stopped and looked at everything that she had found. What was she doing, she wondered? Was this her life now? Scouring the riverbed, chasing fish and following the fishing boats. Why was she even still here? There was nothing to stop her from leaving; nothing except herself.

The next day, she was digging in the riverbed. She had found a sealed trunk half
-buried in the silt and she was using a rock to bash the lock when she heard the song. For a moment, she thought she was dreaming. The song filled her head, calling her. Unlike before, she could have resisted its pull, but she followed it to the surface.

Adrianna emerged out of the water to see Lorelei walking by the river, singing softly. She checked that no one else was about and then swam up and rested her folded arms on the bank. This was how she had first met Lorelei, although their positions had been reversed. Adrianna was now the one in the river. Lorelei wore her golden hair loose down her back. Smiling, she spread out the skirts of her white dress and sat down on the bank.

“Christian is so wonderful, Adrianna, and so kind, but I knew he would be.”

“
You’re staying at the castle?” The sound of her own voice sounded unfamiliar and strange to her ears. It had been so long since she had spoken. She had almost forgotten how to talk. How much time had passed, she wondered? She had lost count of the days as they all seemed to blur into one. It had been early April when Lorelei had first stolen her legs and, judging by the sun, it must be May or June now. 

“
Yes, with Christian.”

Adrianna watched Lorelei, calculating the distance between them and how much closer she would have to be before Adrianna could grab her and pull her in. This could be her only chance to get her legs back, but Lorelei sat just out of reach as if she knew what Adrianna was thinking. 

Lorelei unlaced her walking boots and kicked them off. Her forehead furrowed as if she was in pain. Strips of linen cloth dyed a deep red bound her feet. Slowly, Lorelei began to unwrap the strips. Adrianna gasped as they fell away.

“
What happened to your feet?” Adrianna asked in horror. She had forgotten that she was supposed to be angry at the sight of them. They were cut and bleeding and covered with sores that had broken open and oozed yellow pus. The ends of Lorelei’s toes were black and she could see all the way through the spongy flesh to the bone in places. A rancid smell rose from the linen that made Adrianna’s eyes water. Lorelei would lose her toes if not the entire foot soon if nothing was done.

“
Mermaids aren’t meant to walk on land,” Lorelei said, slowly placing them in the water, a hiss of pain escaping her lips.

“
Doesn’t it hurt?”

Lorelei closed her eyes as she soaked her feet in the river. She smiled, but Adrianna could see the agony in her face.
“Yes, it hurts.”

“
Then why do you bear it?”

“
You know why. So I can be with Christian.”

She couldn
’t imagine how Lorelei was still able to walk. She must be in constant pain. How could she endure it? Adrianna thought of everything that Lorelei had done to be with the prince - killing the other girls, stealing Adrianna’s legs and now this. Did he even love her?

“
If the prince loved you, surely he wouldn’t want you to suffer like this,” Adrianna said. Lorelei frowned and Adrianna knew she didn’t understand. “Will you give me my legs back?” she asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

“
I can’t. I need them.”

“
Why did you come then?”

“
I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone as I was alone. Did you find my cave?”

“
Yes. I found it.” Lorelei was still out of reach. Adrianna moved closer, but the maid immediately moved her legs back. “I was thinking of leaving and following the river out to sea,” Adrianna said to distract her. “Are there others like you?”

Lorelei blinked, broken out of her daydream about the prince.
“I haven’t seen my sisters since the Count brought me here. I don’t think they’re still alive. The sea would have taken them by now.”

“
Why didn’t you go and find them? You weren’t a prisoner. You could have left. Why did you stay?”

“
My sisters always said to stay away from humans, but I liked being near them. They intrigued me. There were no males of my kind, just me and my sisters. One day I got too close to a ship. I got caught in a net and pulled up out of the water. The Count brought me here to his home. He would come and see me and bring me things. He taught me your words and how to speak.”

“
Why didn’t you leave after the Count stopped coming?” Adrianna asked.

“
Time passes differently for us. I waited for him to come back. Eventually, I knew he never would, but I was afraid to leave. He brought me here on his ship and I didn’t know the way back to my sisters. I was the youngest. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”

She had stayed for the same reason that Adrianna had stayed. The town was familiar and safe. It was all that she had known. 

“Has the prince told you that he loves you?”

Lorelei frowned. “
He has to love me. I love him.”

“
It doesn’t work like that. Sometimes you can love someone and they don’t love you back.” She thought of Peter as she spoke. 

“
But he has to love me.” Lorelei pulled her feet out of the water and started to wrap the stained linen strips around them. “You don’t want him to love me. You want him for yourself.”

“
Ask him. If he says he does, then I was wrong. But if he doesn’t love you, will you give me my legs back? Please let me go home.”

“
He does love me. He has to love me.”

Seeing she was getting nowhere, Adrianna tried a different approach. “
Even if he loves you, he should love you as you are. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be something you’re not. You should tell him the truth about what you are.”

“
And yet you haven’t shown your mother what you look like. Shouldn’t she love you as you are? Why haven’t you shown her, Adrianna?” Lorelei stood up. “You don’t want me and Christian to be together. I’m going to leave you and I’m never coming back. I’m going to be with Christian and you will be here alone, forever.” She forced her feet into her walking boots and stormed away.

“
Wait,” Adrianna called after her. “Please don’t leave me.” Lorelei kept walking. She didn’t look back. Adrianna closed her eyes in despair.

Pushing away from the bank, she dived down into the water and slipped through the tunnel back to her cave. She couldn
’t stay here anymore. There was no future for her here. She would leave and make a life for herself somewhere else. Filling a bottle with rainwater from a golden cup, she wedged the cork in tight. She looked at the shelves filled with countless jewels and gold, but there was nothing else that she needed. She wrapped the bottle into a bundle and tied it at her waist. She left the cave and came up to the surface to take one last look at the town. After bidding a silent goodbye to her mother, she dived down and started swimming.

A large shadow appeared above her, blocking out the light. She swam up to the surface to investigate. A huge ship sped through the water, its wide sails unfurled to catch the summer wind. Men onboard called out to each other in French. She followed it for a time, but she was faster and soon she left it behind.

Ahead, the countryside was unfamiliar. She passed towns she didn’t know with people she didn’t recognise. She wanted the familiar sight of Herr Fleischer dragging in the nets or Monsieur Gaspard awkwardly clinging to his horse. She swam for hours, until her tail ached and her muscles burned. As the sun started to set, she realised she had nowhere to sleep. Desperately, she scanned the rocks under the water, looking for a cave where she could sleep safely, but she saw nothing. It would be too dangerous to sleep on the riverbank and risk someone seeing her.

As she got further and further away, she started to slow down. The cork in her bottle hadn’t been wedged in tight enough and the river water had got in and spoiled it. She could keep going, but she didn
’t know how far the sea was and what would she do when she got there? She would still be on her own. She realised she would always be alone wherever she went.

She turned around and started swimming back the way she had come. For once, she came to the surface and swam. Inky darkness stretched above her and beneath her. Moving her tail hurt, but she forced herself on. Relief washed over her when she finally reached the town. Lights still gleamed in many of the windows as if the townspeople had known that she needed the light. In the moonlight she could see the huge rock jutting out. She kicked down with her tail and felt along for the opening. She followed the tunnel back to her cave and, exhausted, collapsed on the ledge. She had never swum so far before. Water lapped against her cheek as she panted, trying to get her breath back. She was a coward. There was nothing for her here. Perhaps out at sea there would be others like her and she could make a life for herself. She would go tomorrow, she told herself.

~~~~~

Fournier clasped his hands behind his back and braced his legs on the deck, his body adjusting with each movement of the ship. His gaze was fixed on the cliffs that were dangerously close now. They were sailing through the most perilous part of the Rhine. Dozens of ships had run aground here and many sailors had lost their lives. One huge rock in particular rose up. There was a story of a maiden who lived in the waters here and called sailors to their death, but Fournier had never believed in such stories.

He could breathe again once they were safely past. He clapped the steersman on the shoulder as he left the deck and went below. He poured himself a glass of wine and settled back in his chair that had been bolted to the floor to mull over his situation. The Emperor had put him in charge of guarding supplies and ferrying recruits while men younger than him had been promoted. It wasn’t his fault that the attack had gone wrong. They should have easily overwhelmed the Austrians. Now, he was being punished. He had seen other men make worse mistakes, but he had been singled out. He had devoted his entire life to the army, yet he had been overlooked for promotion again and again.

It should have all been his. The revolution had given him his chance. With the monarchy abolished, he had believed his position in the French General Assembly guaranteed, but it had all gone wrong. It should have been him ruling France, not that upstart. It galled him that Napoleon was now Emperor. He drank down the rest of his wine in one gulp and then poured the rest of the bottle into the glass.   

There was a frantic knock on the door and it opened before he could ask who it was. One of his lieutenants burst into the room. “Captain, there’s something you should see.”

Annoyed at being interrupted, especially when he was drinking, Fourier slammed his glass down.
“What is it?”

“
You need to see for yourself.”

He sighed and heaved his bulk out of the chair. They were all useless. They couldn
’t do anything without him looking over their shoulder. He followed the lieutenant up onto the deck. A group of his men had gathered by the side of the ship, their attention fixed on something in the water.

“
Well,” he said. “What was so urgent?”

“
I saw something in the water,” his lieutenant said.

“
You disturbed me because you saw something in the water?”

The lieutenant looked uncomfortable.
“The others saw it as well.”

The other men nodded.

“What did you see?” Fournier asked, impatience making his tone harsh.

“
It looked like a girl, only it wasn’t.”

He snatched the spyglass from him and stormed over to where the men had gathered. He had no time for silly fantasies. Raising the spyglass to his eye, he trained it on the spot his lieutenant had pointed to. He saw a flash of something green before it disappeared into the water. His breath caught in his throat as a girl appeared. Long brown hair wet from the water streamed down her back. She dived down and beneath her simple brown dress, he saw the flash of a tail. Iridescent scales shimmered green in the water. He lowered the spyglass and shook his head as if to clear it before he looked again.