The River Maid (31 page)

Chapter Thirty Six

Christian woke to light streaming across his face. He thought he was asleep on the bank in the sun, but the ground felt too soft. He tried to sit up and cried out in pain.

“I wouldn’t sit up, my friend,” Gaspard said.

He opened his eyes. The figure by his bed had Gaspard
’s voice, but his face was so swollen and distorted, he barely recognised his former tutor. “You look awful,” Christian said. “Where is Adrianna?”

“
This isn’t the first time you have asked me. You’ve asked me again and again in your fever. As I’ve told you a dozen times before, she’s safe. She’s here at the castle.”

“
I want to see her.”

“
You need to rest.”

Pain coursed through his shoulder as he sat up, but he gritted his teeth and waited for it to pass. He swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Gaspard sighed. “It seems that you’re determined to see her, but I think you should at least dress first.” Gaspard went over to his wardrobe and began pulling out clothes. “Do you remember what happened?”

Christian put his hand to his shoulder. A thick bandage was wrapped around his arm and his chest.
“I remember carrying Adrianna onto the ship and then Fournier shooting me. After that…I don’t know. I think we were in the water and then I remember Adrianna talking to me and telling me not to leave her.”

His memory was blurry. He remembered being in the water and then Adrianna lying against his chest and talking softly to him, her fingers threading through his hair and gently smoothing his brow and he remembered kissing her; not that he was going to share those details with Gaspard.

“The ship was destroyed by Lorelei,” Gaspard said grimly. “No one survived.”

“All those men…” Stunned, Christian shook his head. “
They didn’t deserve to die. They were just following orders.”

Gaspard held out a shirt and Christian
eased his injured arm into the sleeve. He tried to hide his frustration at having to let Gaspard dress him. He had become used to dressing himself and not having to rely on someone else to do it for him. “Why did Lorelei help us?” he asked as Gaspard did up the buttons down the front. 

“
I’m not sure. Who knows how her mind works. I fear the French will come looking for that ship. An entire ship doesn’t just disappear in a river with no trace.”

“
We have to leave,” Christian said. He stood up to pull up his breeches. “We have to go today, before they come.” He slipped his arms into the jacket that Gaspard held out.

“
You’re in no condition to travel just yet. And Adrianna…”

“
She’s not hurt is she?”

“
No.” Gaspard seemed to be avoiding looking at him. “But she needs to get her strength back. I think we all need to rest.” He eased shoes onto Christian’s feet. “There, I think you will do.” Gaspard helped him up. He clutched Gaspard’s shoulder as dizziness washed over him and made the room spin. “You shouldn’t be out of bed, my friend,” Gaspard said. “Your mother will be furious when she finds out I helped you.”

Gaspard supported him out of the room. They had to take the stairs slowly, one at a time. Gaspard took out a key from his breast pocket and unlocked the door.

“I can manage from here,” Christian said.

Adrianna was in a metal bath tub with a sloped back, her long hair loose over one shoulder. He smiled, but she didn
’t return it. She had looked up as he entered and her eyes moved over him and he was sure he saw relief in them and something more, but then her gaze lowered. He pulled a chair over with his good arm and sank down before he collapsed. She moved back against the other side of the bath, away from him.

“
How is your arm?” she asked in a neutral voice.

“
It’s healing.”

He had rushed to see her, but now that he was here she seemed distant. She wouldn
’t meet his eyes and he didn’t know why. He reached out to touch her, but she moved away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing is wrong. I’m glad you’re all right.”

“I remember what you said in the river. That you were afraid of becoming like Lorelei. That you…” He couldn’t quite say loved. “That you cared for me.”

“I thought you were dying.”

“So, you didn’t mean it?”

“No,” she whispered, still not looking at him.

“I want to be with you.”

“There’s no future for us.”

“We’ll find a way to be together. I know it’s only been three weeks and I know that’s not enough time, but I feel like I know you in a way I’ve never known anyone.”

“I can’t be with you. Not as I am.”

“I don’t care that you’re a mermaid. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“It matters to me. I will spend the rest of my life being hunted, Christian. They will never leave me alone. I can’t stay here. I need to go to the sea.”

“I’ll come with you. I’ll get a ship. I always wanted to be a sailor. We can travel the world and see all the places you wanted to see. It wouldn’t matter so long as we were together.”

“No.”

Her voice sounded final, her mind made up. He realised he was trying to make her do something she didn’t want to. Whatever he felt for her, she didn’t feel it. He was just like Lorelei, loving someone who didn’t love him back.

“I thought…I don’t know what I thought. I must have been mistaken.” He waited for her to correct him, but she wouldn’t even look at him. She stared down at the water. “Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

“
No.”

“I’ll go then.” He paused at the door, hoping she might call him back, but she didn’t stop him as he left.

Gaspard was waiting for him outside. “You weren’t with her long,” he said as he relocked the door.

“
She doesn’t want to see me.”

“
She’s still tired. Give her some time to recover.”

Gaspard helped him back to his room. Once there, in pain from more than just his wound, Christian sank onto the bed and lay back. Adrianna didn
’t want to see him. She didn’t care for him as he cared for her. He sighed heavily. What a fool he had been. He knew how Lorelei felt now when he didn’t love her back.

~~~~~

Adrianna drew her hand through the bathwater. The scales that floated on the surface clung to her fingers. She crushed them in her hand, grinding them into dust. The once clear water was murky, but Christian hadn’t noticed. He had barely looked at her tail. He had been too intent on looking at her.

There was a soft knock on the door and Gaspard came in. Adrianna rested her chin on the side of the tub and looked up at him. 

Still in pain, he eased himself gingerly down onto the chair Christian had sat on. “It’s getting worse?” he asked. She nodded and then started to cry. Gaspard took out a handkerchief and pressed it into her hand. “Why didn’t you tell Christian?”

She sniffed and wiped away the tears. “
I didn’t want him to see me like this. I’m losing my tail, Gaspard. I don’t want him to be tied to me. I want you to tell him not to come and see me again.”

“
Shall I fetch your mother?”

“
No. I don’t want her to think she might lose me again.”

“
She won’t lose you. You’re not going anywhere. I won’t allow it.” She smiled at him through her tears. “We managed to get you here, all the way from Paris. No one would have thought it possible, but we did it. We’re going to find a way to get your legs back. Don’t give up now.”

She nodded and he patted her hand, but as soon as he left, her smile faded. Telling Christian that she didn
’t want to be with him had been one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. Seeing the hurt and confusion on his face, she had almost called him back. They had no future together; there had never been a future for them together. The last three weeks had been a dream and now they had to face reality. He was a prince and she was a mermaid. It could never be.  

Chapter Thirty Seven

Christian stood with his hands braced on the stone balustrade, looking out at the river. He was finally well enough to get up on his own. He had tried again to see Adrianna, but she wouldn
’t even look at him. It was ironic that he should love her, but she didn’t love him back. Perhaps it was what he deserved. He winced as he moved his shoulder, pain stabbing through him. He remembered lying on the bank with her in the sun and the sound of her laughter. He missed those hours spent with her. He felt alone again.

Far below, by the river
’s edge, he could see a figure astride a horse. Frowning, he squinted, trying to see clearer. He was sure it was Gaspard; he recognised the horse, but why would Gaspard be down by the river and on a horse when Gaspard hated riding? After having spent the last three weeks doing little else, he had declared he was never going to ride again.

He turned his horse and began slowly heading back to the castle. Christian went out to meet him as he rode into the courtyard.

“I thought I would go out for a ride,” Gaspard said as he dismounted. He looked guilty as if he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

“You should have told me. I would have come with you,” Christian replied.

“You still need to rest, my friend.”

The next day, Christian came down to breakfast to find his former tutor missing once more.

“Where is Gaspard?” he asked his mother as he entered the room.

She looked up from her teacup. “According to the servants he
went out riding at first light.”

“That’
s strange,” Christian said.

“Yes. I thought it odd behaviour for him as well. Is something wrong?”

“I’m not sure.” He went out onto the parapets. He shielded his eyes. He could just make Gaspard out standing by the river. He was at the very edge of the water. What was he doing?

It was more than an hour before Gaspard finally returned. Christian was waiting in the courtyard as he rode in. 

“You’re looking for Lorelei,” Christian said.

Gaspard sighed, but didn
’t deny it. He slid down from the horse. “She won’t come to me.”

“
Why do you want to see Lorelei?”

Gaspard shifted uncomfortably. “I was going to ask her to help Adrianna.”

Fear filled him. “What’s wrong with Adrianna?”

“She asked me not to tell you.”

“Gaspard, if there is something wrong with her you must tell me.”

Gaspard shook his head sadly. “
She was out of the water too long. Her scales are flaking off and her tail is rotting away. I don’t know what else to do. Lorelei is the only one who can help her.”

“
Why didn’t she tell me?” Christian asked, his voice strained.

“
She didn’t want you to blame yourself and to stay with her out of guilt.”

Christian stormed into the castle and strode up the stairs. Gaspard followed behind him. He stopped before Adrianna
’s room. “Open the door.” It wasn’t a request, but a command. Gaspard didn’t utter a word as he unlocked the door. Adrianna looked up, startled, as Christian entered the room. Last time, he had been too focused on her and he had barely looked at her tail. This time he really looked at it. It was no long shimmering green, but a pale sickly colour. Chunks of scales had flaked off and floated in the water. 

“
Why didn’t you tell me about your tail?” he asked gently, the anger draining from him.

She looked down and wouldn
’t meet his eyes. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

He crouched down by the bath.
“You should have told me.” She pressed her cheek against the back of his hand which rested on the edge of the bath. He could feel the wetness from her tears. He drew her gently against his chest. It was awkward holding her like this. He could feel water soaking his shirt, but he didn’t care. “We will find a way to fix it,” he said, his lips against her hair. “Either we will find a way to get your legs back or we will find a way to make your tail better.” He drew back and kissed her forehead. “I need to speak to Gaspard. I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded and he brushed away her tears before he left her. He shut the door. Gaspard had wisely waited for him outside.

“What do we do?” Christian asked.

Gaspard shrugged his shoulders in exasperation, his face filled with despair.
“I don’t know. I’ve been down to the river every day, but Lorelei hasn’t shown herself.”

He hated feeling helpless. There must be something they could do.
“I could go. Lorelei might speak to me.”

“
I don’t think that would be a good idea. There’s the problem of the French as well. We cannot stay here much longer. The French will come, but we cannot move Adrianna as she is.”

“
I won’t leave without her, Gaspard.” He didn’t care if the French arrested him, but he wouldn’t let them take Adrianna.

He sat with her each day while Gaspard went back out to look for Lorelei. Adrianna had always been warm when she was in the water, but now she complained of being cold. He built a fire in the fireplace for her. He did it himself, wanting to keep the servants out of the room. She was restless in the water. She kept wanting to scratch at her tail, but he was worried she would make it worse. He caught her hands in his.

“We’re going to get through this,” he said. “I got better. You can as well.” He pressed his forehead to hers. He could feel how hot she was. Her skin burned like an iron brand against his.

“
It hurts,” she said. “And I’m so cold.”

With the fire going the heat in the room was oppressive, but she still said she was cold. He didn
’t know what else he could do for her. There was a knock on the door and Gaspard came in with a tray.

“
Gaspard has brought you some food,” Christian said.

Still continuing to shiver, she shook her head.
“I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat. Surely you can manage a few spoonfuls.” Christian tried to coax her, but she turned her head away.  Giving up, he set the bowl down and followed Gaspard out of the room.

“Did you see any sign of Lorelei?” Christian asked.

Gaspard shook his head sadly.
“Nothing. I’m sorry, my friend.”

“
She’s getting worse.”

“
I think it’s pointless keeping her in the bath. She would be more comfortable on the bed. If her tail isn’t healing in the water, then it will make little difference.”

Christian forced a reassuring look onto his face and went back in.
“We’re going to move you to the bed.” Adrianna didn’t respond. He turned down the covers while Gaspard fetched towels. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and then slid his arms under her and lifted her from the water. His shoulder throbbed in protest, but he ignored it. He set her down on the bed and gently dried her tail as best he could. He was afraid to rub too hard as her scales came away at the slightest touch. Gaspard cast him a worried look as he saw her tail. They covered her with blankets and Christian tucked them around her. She let out a happy sigh and snuggled down.

“
Better?” he asked.

“
Much,” she said, smiling happily.

It worried him that she was happier now out of the water. He didn
’t like what it meant. He managed to coax her into having a few spoonfuls of broth and then he stayed with her the rest of the evening while she slept, content just to be near her. When he finally left her, knowing he would be unable to sleep, he went down to the drawing room. His mother was sat there alone. She seemed to have been waiting up for him.

“Where is Gaspard?” he asked.

“He went to bed.” She patted the seat next to her. “Come and sit with me. We haven’t had much of a chance to talk since you got back.” He sat down next to her. “How is Adrianna?” she asked.

“Her tail isn’
t healing. It’s getting worse.”

“
You’re spending a great deal of time with her,” she said carefully.

He could hear the reproach in her voice. “
You don’t approve.”

“
I’m concerned about you, Christian. You seem to care a great deal for her.”

“
More than a great deal.”

“
You’re so young and you’ve only known her a few weeks.”

“
I’m not a boy anymore. I’ve fought in battles. I’ve killed men. But you don’t think I’m old enough to love.”

“
I don’t see a future for the two of you together. You’re a prince. She’s a mermaid. You can’t ignore what you are.”

“
I can’t ignore how I feel either.”

“I understand that she saved your life and that you feel indebted to her, but a relationship with her would be entirely inappropriate.”

Adrianna was dying and his mother was concerned about the possibility of a scandal. “At the moment, all I am care about is keeping Adrianna alive. That’s the only thing I can think of.”

She put her hand on his arm.
“Don’t be angry with me. I don’t want her to come to harm. But you could lose everything for her. Napoleon could take away your lands, your titles.”

“I don’
t care.”

And he didn
’t. The only thing he cared about was Adrianna.

“Please be reasonable, Christian. We need to leave before the French come back. We can go to Denmark. Your uncle fled there with his family after he upset Napoleon and we have friends at court.”

“I’m not leaving her.”

He would stay. Even if that meant the French came and lay siege to the castle. He wouldn’t leave without her.

~~~~~

For the first time in over a year, Adrianna was in a bed. The bed was feather soft, with a deep mattress, but she was still cold despite the nest of blankets she was lying in and she couldn
’t stop shivering. She tried not to show it when Christian came to see her.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as h
e sat on the edge of her bed.

“Cold.”

He tucked the blankets closer around her and then picked up a thick book bound in dark blue leather, which he had placed on the bedside table. “I brought you something. I thought I could read to you. Gaspard gave me this book when he first came to live with us. It’s called Don Quixote.”

Adrianna lay back and snuggled down into the blankets as Christian opened the book and began to read. He came every morning to read to her some more. He started off on a chair next to the bed, then sitting at the other end of the bed, and finally lying beside her. Her scales continued to flake off. It smelled like rotting fish, but Christian never mentioned it. The story took her mind off her tail which was slowly getting worse. She was so cold and she couldn
’t stop shivering. Christian fetched more blankets and added more wood to the fire, but it made little difference.

“
What happens at the end?” she asked one afternoon. They still had more than half of the book to go.

“
You have to wait until we get there,” Christian said.

“
We’re not going to reach the end.”

Christian marked his place in the book with the ribbon. He shifted onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow so that he was facing her.
“Yes, we are. We’re going to find a way to make you better.”

She shook her head against the pillows.
“No, we’re not. Just tell me. Does it end happily?”

He hesitated before he answered.
“Yes, it ends happily. Don Quixote marries Dulcinea and they go off with Sancho and have lots of adventures together.”

She thought he was lying to her, but she didn
’t want to know if it turned out badly. She wanted to pretend that it ended happily. It was what she and Christian were doing; pretending. He lay down next to her and drew her into his arms. She rested her head on his chest while he stroked her hair. Content, she closed her eyes. The only time she felt warm was when she was in his arms. Perhaps this was all just a story and none of it was real. But she didn’t want it to be untrue if it meant she would lose Christian.