The Romance Novel Book Club (12 page)

“Oh don’t stop, Ben,” I groaned, my hand becoming a fist knotted up in his hair.

“My name’s not Ben, it’s—”

“Shhh,” I chided, “less talk and more tongue wrapping around my clit. Come on,
Gary
. Give it to me!” As he protested the wrong name, or tried to, I jammed his face in close.

“Oh, Larry! Neal! Joe! Yes! Yes!” To his credit, he made me come, if only a small explosion compared to the rocket launch to the moon Matt gave me in the small moments we had together.

He sat back, a dissatisfied look on his face and flaccid penis between his legs. The portal to my sexual universe closed, and he wasted no time gathering his clothes. As his hand touched the door to leave, I stopped him.

“When do you work again? That was fantastic!” Women lied, men. Egos demanded it, boys.

“Oh I’m not sure, actually. I’ll call you.”

“Oh that’s okay,” I laughed like a loon. “I go to Ted’s restaurant almost daily. We’ll hook up again there!”

I’d never seen a guy move so fast to get out of the line of fire in all my life. I reached over and grabbed my phone, smiling as I dialed.

“
Mission
complete, Jules.”

“Bitch.”

“I think I’ll have a pint of Ben & Jerry’s to celebrate.”

“Whore.”

“I have an extra if you want to sleep over.”

“Be there in five.”

I giggled, turning the phone off. My fingers tapped on the cover to
Rogue of the Long Road
. I thought about rubbing one out using one of the dog-eared pages and decided not to. An unnerving depression sank in. The book was starting to get to me. For once, Julie had ordered a book that actually gave me something to look forward to when I bent the heck out of the spine.

I picked up my phone, scrolling through the numbers until I got to Matt’s. My thumb hovered over the call number and then I chickened out.

My heart wasn’t into full stalker mode yet. I frowned at the book. “I don’t suppose you have the secret locked in you?” It stared back at me with the gorgeous hunk twined around a half-clad woman. “Didn’t think so.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Julie and I sat on my couch in spaghetti strapped tops and tiny boxer shorts shoving down the latest buy of Ben & Jerry’s. Dublin Mudslide or something to that effect. The ingredients promised Irish cream liqueur and coffee liqueur. We didn’t believe it and poured a little more of the booze in to make sure.

“Oh geesh, you wouldn’t believe that guy, Jules.” I snorted, choking on some liquid ice cream in the process. I had to, of course, give her the sordid details of my encounter with Ted’s womanizer.

“You don’t have to,” she giggled. “He called me after leaving your place so I faked like I was talking on the phone while having sex. Oh yes! Oh God! Who said you could remove your tongue from my pussy … oh uh? What? The guy from … oh yes! Right there!”

Julie panted and fell over like a swooning princess, and I lost it, spewing the contents of my mouth all over the coffee table.

“Oh my God! I bet he wished he could have done that with his penis!” She cackled.

I couldn’t respond. The laughter was so bad, and I couldn’t breathe let alone talk. I gasped and caught my breath. I missed our get togethers. I really, really missed it. Being with Julie took my mind off the fact that I didn’t have a man to whisk over here on my askance for a session of horizontal bop.

“Oh I’m having a toy party, by the way.” Julie wiggled her eyebrows.

“Damn. Really? I’m going to have to get a bigger drawer then.”

“Or talk to Matt.”

“Ugh,” I said, getting off the couch to get something to clean up my mess. I couldn’t come out and admit she had a point. The more I dwelled on the deep dark desire I had for not just his enormous cock size but the man behind the fun toy, I just got scared.

Yep. Scared.

What if it didn’t work out? What if the path to Ride that Broncoland ended with me more sexually frustrated than I was now? Did the world make that many batteries to quench my desire? Some environmental nut job would picket my apartment calling on me to use recyclable batteries or suffer the wrath of a thousand squirrels whose homes I had wrecked with my nasty habit.

On the other hand, I’d probably end up with the same result if I didn’t jump in the pool.

“Rumor has it that Ted’s having him help out over lunchtime. Interested?”

I shot her a scowl, and she gave her best innocent smile.

“Oh fuck it all,” I grumbled. “Looks like it’s lunch at Ted’s tomorrow.”

“If you’re lucky, you’ll get some dessert afterwards.”

Fuck dessert. I could feel my body going into overdrive for a full course meal complete with a nice tall one of bourbon.

Now or never, Patricia. Time for you to grab on to that meat missile and fill the void in your life once and for all.

“So about this latest romance novel.” I fingered my lip, trying to remember where I’d set the book down.

“Which one?
Winter’s Kiss
?”

“Nah, I burned that one.” I could have sworn I left it on the end table. “
The Rogue of the Long Road
.”

“I don’t have that one. I cancelled my last order when I knew I was flying home to my parents. I didn’t want you to suffer alone.” She snickered.

If she hadn’t sent it, who had? Better yet, had I dreamed the book up in the first place?

Julie wrapped her arms around me tight. “I really appreciated this little get together, sweetie, but I’m dog tired.”

I rubbed her arms. “We should do this more often.”

“Yep.” With one last squeeze, Julie headed back to my bedroom to sleep off the enormous amount of alcohol she’d ingested. I’d join her in a bit, when I actually felt tired. A sigh blew past my lips, and I started cleaning up our living fiesta. Down on the floor, underneath the coffee table, I found
The Rogue of the Long Road
. Temptation won out, and I plopped back on the couch to read.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The delightful scent of hazelnut coffee tickled my nose. My body stretched out from its coiled position. To my utter horror, my cheek plowed through an enormous glob of drool. I flailed like a thousand spiders had started line dancing on every inch of my skin. The floor greeted me with smack, and I groaned.

Julie chuckled in the background as I staggered up. My romance book reading had ended with a face-plant sleep on the couch.

“Man, you were hammered to have fallen asleep out here.” Her hair was back in the bitch bun, as I called it. Primed three-piece suit graced her body along with the stiletto heels that could poke your eyes out.

“I was…” My voice trailed off as I searched the floor for that stupid book. Missing again or I’d gone insane. “Never mind.” I inhaled deeply. “I need that coffee now.”

“Remember we have lunch today.” Julie pushed a mug of delicious caffeine in my direction.

I nodded before taking my first sinful sip. I swear Julie missed her calling to be some high-class barista. She could prance in her stilettos and a nice lacey number while she steamed milk. Her eyebrows shot up.

“Thinking about me as the café latte hooker again, aren’t you?”

I grinned. “Think of the possibilities.”

“My job as a corporate slave isn’t glamorous, but I’m not a tits and ass show either.” She drank some of her coffee, her gaze never leaving me.

“You’d love to be a tits and ass show, Jules. Why else do we torture ourselves in spin class?” My mug touched my lips but instead of drinking the heavenly elixir, I darted my tongue out.

Julie set her mug on the counter, her face a blank canvas. “Do me a favor and ask Matt to fuck you senseless. There’s no piece of silicone that’s going to cure what you have.”

“Obviously you were too tired to rummage through my drawer last night.” I smiled like the Cheshire cat.

“Oh I did.” She snickered and leaned in. “Good luck figuring out which one I defiled.” Her lips brushed against my cheek. “Dress nice for me for lunch.”

“What is with my house guests and their insatiable need to masturbate in my home?” Indignity swept through me and vanished. How could I be mad at Julie for her self-pleasure session last night? More than likely, my drool fest out in the living room invited such illicit activities upon my drawer of happy toys.

Julie paused at the door. I must admit, after hearing her wrath on the other end of the phone once, I didn’t envy her subordinates. The smile returned to my face. “Go get them, hot momma.”

 
“See you at noon, yummy britches.” She winked.

“Yeah, right. I know your fetish with clean tightie-whities, missy.” I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Too bad we threw out that friends with benefits clause in our relationship. You’re so liberal with your tongue.”

Her bitch façade melted for a playful self boob grab and out the door she went. I contemplated washing every single one of my sorted dildos. However, Julie might have been bold in juggling my phallus collection, but she’d never toss a pleasure vibrator back in the drawer without dousing it with sanitizer. We protected our vaginas from all manner of germs. Not like we could trade them in if we damaged them.

Noon would come way too soon for me, and backing out wasn’t an option. I figured if I tried to chicken out, Julie would whip out a dart gun and shoot me. Unconscious, she’d drag my limp body into the trunk of her car and deposit me at the back of the restaurant like an abandoned litter of puppies. She’d rig it so Matt would find my prone barely dressed form, and he’d resuscitate me with his luscious lips.

I gazed around my apartment to find something to take my mind off of the high noon showdown.
The Rogue of the Long Road
magically appeared on the coffee table. By magically, I mean I could have sworn that damn book wasn’t there before Julie left. Maybe I imagined the book the whole time. Julie knew nothing about it, after all.

My fingers poked at the spine. I waited for the puff of smoke to prove to me that I was losing my mind and the book never existed. Instead, the damn thing moved an inch.

“Who sent you?” I should have saved the packaging for a good old fashioned sleuth job. None of that mattered. I needed my escape, and I was going to use and abuse the romance trash within the pages to take me away from reality.

Chapter
Twenty-Four

Arielle moaned as Pavel, the captain of her father’s guard and potential future husband, sated his lust with her pinned against the wall. He never faced her during the act, only roughly massaging her breasts and rolling his tongue across her neck like an animal in heat. She faked her pleasure, knowing that doing otherwise brought disfavor in Pavel’s eyes. One last thrust had her crushing against the wall of her bed chamber. As he withdrew, Pavel took the time to perversely run his hand over the length of her body.

“When we are married, you shall do more than moan like a whore for me, Arielle.” He pushed her away and adjusted his pants. “But this will do for now as I am sure your father sees no harm in me tasting spoiled goods.”

He grabbed her mouth, roughly kissing it. She responded with like a woman in need though the intent was nothing short of hollow. She loathed Pavel with all her heart, the man trying to cow her by using her body as he liked. She didn’t dare adjust her clothing until Pavel left the room or he’d find the strength to ravish her again. When the door closed, she closed off her emotions.

“Alexei, draw me a bath.” She snapped her fingers and the gypsy who’d tried to rob her a few months ago silently left his shadows to do her bidding. Why she forced him to watch, Arielle couldn’t figure out. Perhaps it was to show him that living in the grandest of castles in the land didn’t mean she lived the glamorous life. No, that had been taken from her over a year ago.

The day never left her memory. She’d decided to be bold and dashing, going to the surrounding woods to play with her wooden sword her father humored her with. All his daughters learned how to use a sword properly but once they married, only their husband could allow such an activity. She loved it more than her sisters to a fault and while she practiced in the woods not but a couple of yards away, she’d been attacked. She never found out who did it, a mask covering his face and those of his accomplices. The man had taken his time to unravel her clothing instead of tearing it before taking her innocence.

When the family doctor checked her virginity at the age most females were betrothed to be married, he found her deflowered. Her father, enraged, accused her of running into the woods to have a tryst and demanded to know the defiler of his youngest daughter. Arielle had no answer for him. If she admitted that a man had accosted her and she did not tell him immediately, her days in the woods would end.

“My Lady, your bath is drawn,” Alexei said, standing in the doorway to her bath chamber. “Shall I fetch Vera?”

“No.” Arielle snapped out of her haze and cleared her throat. “You shall help. It is nothing that you haven’t already witnessed.”

“My lady, I say again. Shall I fetch Vera?”

“Did you not hear me, slave?”

“Yes, my Lady.”

“Then why ask again. Would you prefer I tell my father I have no further use for you so that your neck may be stretched by the gallows in the morning?”

“No, my Lady.” Alexei opened his mouth to say more but nodded and entered the bath chamber. His whole time here had hinged on her wanton wish for his service. When his father laughed and told Arielle’s father to kill him and he’d just make another one to replace Alexei, Arielle told her father to commit Alexei to being her personal servant. Some of her maids could not do much of the heavy lifting due to their age and his youth gave him that advantage.

Arielle slid into the hot bath sighing, the stink of Pavel heavy on her skin. She waved Alexei over, leaning forward for him to start with her back. His hands felt like an awkward school child’s and she smiled.

“Have you never touched a woman this way before?”

“Aye, I have, my Lady, but it was with their father’s blessing. I do not think your father would approve of this.”

“And what do a care of my father’s approval?”

“I think, my Lady, you care more than you want to admit.”

Her hand came around to smack his face and Alexei paused before continuing his task.

“Forgive me, I misspoke,” he whispered. Her strength behind the hit stung him and Alexei moved his hands faster to finish his task. He set the soap and brush aside and stood to move away.

“You must do more than my back, slave.”

“No.”

“Prefer the feel of rope on your neck?”

“Yes, I do. I cannot do what you ask of me.”

“Yet bedding my father’s maids comes as no hesitation for you?” Arielle snatched the soap up, scrubbing her skin. “Perhaps I shall tell my father you tried to finish what you started in the woods. You’ll beg for a hanging after he’s through with you.”

“Do you love that man that takes you at his whim?”

Arielle threw her soap at Alexei and he dodged it. “Would I allow a man to touch me like that if I did not?” She threw the brush next, and he avoided it by a hair.

“You deserve better. That man does not love you. He wants to possess you. He is no better than my brothers.” Alexei picked up the soap and brush, handing them back to Arielle.

“What does a peasant boy know of love? You are no better than any of them, thinking to rut like a wild beast with whomever you please.”

“Nothing, I suppose, but my mother once told me it starts here.” He pointed to his heart. “If you do not feel the joy of life when you are with someone then it is not to be.”

“How did that work out with your mother? From what I hear, your father beds whom he pleases.”

“My mother is an honorable woman. What my father took from her was not a mutual agreement by any means. Nine years she hid me away from my father, knowing that he took any of his sons born to the woman he used.”

“And you followed his path.”

“No, and he has hated me for it. Long I tried to prove myself to him for nothing. No more. Hang me if you wish. Leave me here to squalor as a servant. I will not rejoin my father.” Alexei reached out and wiped a tear away from Arielle’s cheek. “That man is filth for what he does to you.”

“I deserve it.”

“No. No woman deserves to be treated as such.”

“I am spoiled goods, Alexei.”

He lost his words when she called him by his name. Since that day in the woods she’d never used it even after she found out what it was. She tried to degrade him, humiliate him to no avail.

“You are a beautiful woman, Arielle. Virginity is but a vanity for the male ego to take as a prize. Few see the golden treasure they have before them. Women are not a conquest, they are your joy, your sorrow, and your companion through the light and dark times.”

He lifted her chin, wiping the tears away with a cloth. Tentatively, he leaned in and kissed her. At first Arielle stiffened as his lips touched hers but when his mouth took hers, caressing her lips open, she gave in. Never had she experienced such a passionate touch, full of caring and gentleness. He stole her breath and when he separated himself, she had to remember to breathe.

“That is how you kiss beauty, Arielle.” Alexei walked out of the bath chamber and Arielle trembled, trying to hold back the tears. She’d endured Pavel’s possessive touch and his lustful ways for so long. She thought that was all she ever deserved in life until Alexei ignited a fire she never knew she had.