The Roommate (11 page)

Alone, I stared at the blushing Jess in the mirror.
 
Admittedly, if tonight had been a first date, I’d feel pretty positive about it.
 
But Patrick and I didn’t have conventional circumstances.
 
We’d known each other nearly all our lives.
 
Lived in the same apartment.
 
Were friends first.
 
Turning this romantic could screw everything up.

Or I’d found my
soulmate
.

All I knew was that I never wanted to lose him from my life.
 
I could tell him things I’d never told
Ros
.
 
Looked forward to seeing him at the beginning and end of every day.
 
Knew I was safe to be me.
 
He’d taken care of me without being asked.

But I didn’t know if he felt the same way, and the answer could destroy us.
 

How could I take that risk?

How long can I wait for him to make a move or this crush to fade?

Enough for tonight
.
 
I needed to go home, go to bed, and get back to our normal routine in the morning.
 
The routine I could rely on.

Patrick was waiting by the coat check.
 
“There you are.”

I got my coat back and he put it on me.
 
“Thanks. Where’s the car?”

“Already asked the valet to bring it forward.”

Patrick had rented a Chrysler 300—which made sense.
 
A full-size car accommodated his height, and my dress.
 
The valet opened my door,
then
handed the keys to my roommate.
 
Patrick tipped him and went around to the driver’s side.
 
The car had leather seats and the valet had turned the heater on.
 
Cozy.
 
Patrick drove toward the exit.

“Something on your mind?” he asked.

“What?”

“You’re wearing your thinking face.”

“Oh. My boss was in the ladies’ room.”

“Did she say something about work on Monday?”

“No.”
 
My eyes were on the scenery outside my window.

When I didn’t elaborate, Patrick turned the radio on.
 
The classical station.
 
Of course.

“Warm enough?”

“Yes.”

Another pause.

“Did Lydia upset you?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Your mood completely changed after five minutes in there, so I’d say not. What did she say, Jess?”
 
My knight wanted to defend my honor, apparently.

“…She thought we were together.”

“We did attend together.”

“Not what she meant.”

“…Oh.”

“She likes to tease people. It’s not a big deal.”

“What did you say?”

“The truth.”
 
As I knew it.
 
“You’re my roommate.”

“She knows this. Why…”

Oh God
.

“Why are you upset?” he asked.

“I’m not.”

“Jess—”

“Because I like you.
Because I suck at hiding it, at least with some people.
Because she’s nosy and won’t leave well enough alone.”

Fuck
.

Now he’d pull away to spare my feelings.

“How long?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Jess—”

“Drop it, Patrick.”

He braked at a light.
 
“When you say you ‘like’ me…?”

Oh God.
 
Earth, swallow me now
.

“Please forget I said anything. Please. It doesn’t matter.”

The light turned green.
 
The car rolled forward.
 
“I can’t.”

“I know.”
 
I’d dropped a bomb.

“It matters.”

“So? You’re my friend.”

“You’re my best friend.”

“So pretend this conversation didn’t happen and tomorrow will be just like yesterday.”

“Jess—”

“Dammit, Patrick, I’m embarrassed enough.
Let it go
.”

Silence.
 
Except for the radio.
 
He didn’t make a peep the rest of the way home.

When I was in my room, I’d cry.
 
I could hold it together until then.

He parked in the reserved space next to my car,
then
helped me out.
 
Silence in the elevator.
 
I unlocked the door, turned the lights on, and went straight to my room.
 
Took my coat off, and reached back for the zipper, but…

Dammit.
 
Stupid dress was a lot easier to get in to.

I opened my door.
 
He was in the kitchen.
 
“I can’t reach the zipper.”

Patrick walked to me.
 
I turned around.
 
The slight touch of his fingers sent a jolt up my spine.
 
The zipper slowly crawled open.
 
“There you go,” he said quietly.

“Thank you.”
 
I went back to my room and shut the door.

Jewelry off, shoes off, then I shimmied out of the dress and hung it up.
 
What a mess.
 
The night had gone so well until stupid Lydia couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
 
I had no poker face, so of course he noticed I was freaking out inside.
 
Now everything was ruined.

I removed my bra and sighed in relief.
 
The bustier made the dress work, but man, it wasn’t meant for several hours of wear.
 
I rubbed my ribs where the wires had pressed.

My door opened and I covered my boobs with my arms.
 
Patrick stood there.

“I was getting ready for bed,” I said lamely.

Two long strides and his mouth was on mine.
 
What?
 
His hands cupped my face.
 
What?
 
His tongue licked my lips and I gasped, giving him entrance.
 
I couldn’t think, but my arms knew what to do, going around his neck.
 
No shirt.
 
My breasts pressed into his bare chest.

I’m dreaming.
 
Only way this made sense.
 
Or I’d died and didn’t know it, yet.

His mouth moved down my neck.
 
I moaned.

“What happened to—
”

“Because I’m an idiot,” he said.
 

Good call
.

Lifting me with ease, he moved to the bed, laying my down.
 
Half naked.
 
Patrick.
 
Kissing from my ear to my collarbone to—

Oh God
.

“May I?” he asked.
 
His mouth on my breasts.
 
Was this real?
 

I grabbed his head and kissed him.
 
He tasted like mint.
 
Must’ve popped one while waiting for me at the country club.
 
His chest hair teased and tickled my breasts and my nipples had never been this hard.

Please be real
.

He broke away to kiss down my body again, learning my skin with his tongue.
 
Made his way down to my belly button, then skipped to my legs, lavishing open-mouth kisses on my inner thighs.
 
When he got to my foot, I sat up and reached for his pants.
 
Undid the button, slid the zipper down, and they fell off his slim hips.
 
Boxer briefs.
 
Healthy bulge.

“Do you want me?” I asked, hands on the waistband.

“
Yes
.”

I yanked them down and freed his penis.
 
Impressive.
 
Soft skin.
 
He gasped when I gripped the base, then a sharp inhalation as I licked the length.

“Can you stay standing?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

I rolled him onto my bed and took him in my mouth.
 
Mmm, clean and slightly salty.
 
Sucked in my cheeks and heard my name.
 
I tried to look up and watch his face, but pleasuring him was too enthralling.
 
Taking him in as deep as I could.
 
Teasing the head with my tongue.
 
Gently grazing my teeth along the upstroke.
 
He was breathing hard.

“Jess, I’m—”

I swallowed it all and didn’t stop until he was clean, then crawled up his body to kiss him senseless.
 
Mine
.
 
Took mere moments before his erection was tapping on my butt.
 
Already?

“How much do you want me?” I asked.

He rolled us over and hooked his fingers in my panties.
 
“May I?”

“You don’t have to ask.”

He slid them down my legs, then stopped and stared at me laid out before him.
 
I stared back.
 
Knew he’d be glorious naked.
 
He put his hands on the bed and I turned to the nightstand.

“Hold on.”
 
Almost forgot the condom.
 
He watched me roll it down his cock, then moved onto the bed and kissed me.

I kissed him back.
 
In the past, I needed several minutes of foreplay, but not tonight.
 
I’d never wanted anyone this much and my sex was wet and hot.

“Jess, I have to confess.”
 
Huh?
 
“I…I haven’t…”

“Sex?”

He nodded, eyes averted.
 
Oh, baby
…

“That’s kinda hot.”

Shame turned to surprise.
 
“What?”

“There’s only one first time. Some people don’t think it’s a big deal, but I’m honored.”

“You don’t think—”

“Patrick, I know you still feel like that nerdy kid, but you must’ve had opportunities before now. Look at you. You chose me. How can I not find that sexy?”

He kissed me.
 
Yum
.
 
He might be a virgin, but he sure knew what to do with his mouth.

I rolled him onto his back and stretched down his body to take him in.
 
My inner walls fluttered.
 
He arched into me.
 
I sat up, taking him deeper, and my eyes rolled back.

God, he was perfect.

“Jess—”

“Easy…we have all night.”

“You need to move.”

“Relax, baby, or I’ll tie you to the headboard.”
 
I swiveled my hips.
 
Time for his eyes to roll back in his head.
 
“Let me drive or this isn’t going to last long.”
 
For either of us.

While part of me craved a rough pounding, I was so turned on, I needed this to be perfect.
 
If he came to his senses in the morning, at least we’d have one beautiful night.

Bending down to kiss him again, I rode him slow, keeping a grip on his shaft so it wouldn’t slide out when I was so wet.
 
His hands clenched the sheets.

“Touch me,” I whispered into his mouth.
 
Hands on my thighs, then.

My back.

Cupping my breasts.
 
There we go
.
 
I covered his hands with mine and sped up a little.

Patrick stared at my face.
 
I’m not sure he blinked.
 
Every time I looked, his eyes were so intense.
 
So blue.
 
Transfixed.
 
His first time watching a woman drive herself to come.

The orgasm hit hard.
 
I jerked on his lap, muscles clenching in waves, over and over.
 
I couldn’t stop twitching.
 
Might’ve been loud.

When I could see again, he was panting hard, tiny beads of sweat broken out on his forehead and chest.
 
“Wow,” he said.

“Yeah.”
 
I giggled.
 
Big orgasms made me giddy and stupid.
 
I should take care of the condom, but I didn’t want to move, yet.
 
Wasn’t sure I could.

He held onto my hips with his big hands.
 
Guess he didn’t want me to move, either.

“Thank you.”

“Thank
you
.”

“Jess, I’m—”

“Serious. So am I. You might not know it, but that was amazing.”
 
I kissed him,
then
pushed up on my knees.
 
His penis slid out.
 
“I need to throw this away,
then
we can cuddle.”

He was a comfy pillow.
 
Another sign of fate.
 
I sighed.

“What?”

“That’s a content sigh.”

“Oh.”
 
His arms were around me.

First time I’d been naked with the AC on and not cold.
 

“Jess—”

“Take a nap, Patrick.”

He pulled me in tighter and stayed quiet.

Let me have tonight
.
 
He’d want to talk, but tomorrow would come soon enough.

Chapter Thirteen

Why was I naked in bed?

I rolled toward the alarm clock and my thighs protested.
 
My eyes opened.

I had sex with Patrick
.
 
And he wasn’t here.
 
No, no, no
…

Grabbed my robe and hurried into the living room.
 
No roommate.

Slowly opened his door—empty bed.
 
No, no, no, no
…

Then I spotted a piece of paper taped to the front door.

Jess,

Rental car had to be returned.
 
You were out cold.
 
Be back soon.

Patrick

Oh.
 
Right.
 
No need to panic.
 
He was always responsible.
 
I did sleep like the dead.

What time was it?
 
8:30AM
.
 
Was
the deadline 9:00?
 
Didn’t get to ask about the car due to that fateful conversation.

We needed to talk.
 
I didn’t want to.
 
Terrified to.

What if this was only attraction?
 
Friends with benefits.
 
Could I do that?

My sex tingled with the memory of last night.

“Well, of course you’d say yes.”
 
Ugh.

My brain was seriously broken if I was talking to my vagina.

I should shower, put on clothes,
be
normal on Saturday morning.
 
Or leave until I could handle seeing him again and hearing whatever he wanted to say.
 
But…

The key turned in the lock and the door opened.
 
“You’re up.”

“Yep.”

He carried a white paper bag.
 
“I have breakfast.”

“Okay.”
 
That’s when I noticed he wasn’t wearing glasses.
 
“You’re not blind?”

“What? … Oh.
Contacts.
My optometrist talked me into buying them last year, but…I don’t know. Hope you like croissants.”

Okay
…
 
“More butter the better. Do I have time to shower?”

“Sure. Go.”

I did.
 
How did we make this awkward and not awkward at the same time?
 
He seemed…cheery.
 
What was up with the contacts?
 
Was that for me?
 
Because he felt like a man now?
 
Of course he looked gorgeous.
 
It was nice to see his face with no obstructions.
 
He’d worn the glasses last night, even.

Don’t know how long I stood with the shower pounding on my head.
 
The glass was completely fogged up.
 
I opened the door and jumped.
 
At least I didn’t scream.
 
He was standing there with my towel.
 
I stepped into it and he wrapped it around my body.

“Do you regret last night?” he asked.

“No.”
 
No matter what happened, I couldn’t.

“Good.”
 
He kissed me, slow and sweet.
 
“The croissants are getting cold.”

Okay
…
 
“Just let me get dressed.”

T-shirt and jeans, then I followed him to the kitchen.
 
Pastries, orange juice, strawberries…and a bouquet of mixed flowers.
 
My heart squeezed my chest.
 
He pulled out a bar stool and set me on it, then sat on its match and reached for a strawberry.

Instead of biting it, he fed it to me.
 
“You have ripe berries here year-round.
Amazing.”

Summon your courage, Jess
.
 
“Patrick—”

“Don’t. Don’t tell me it was just sex.”

My eyes widened.
 
“I wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t want to leave this morning, but they’d charge me another day.”

“It’s okay. I saw the note.”

A nod.
 
“I don’t know what I’m doing. This is new to me. It’s all been new to me, right back to the moment you picked me up at the airport. All I know…is…all I know is I’ve fallen in love with you and it’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

What?
 
“What?”

He took my hand.
 
“You don’t have to say it back. You said you like me and there’s obviously chemistry. I just needed to be honest.”

“You love me?”

He met my eyes for the first time.
 
“I tried not to. We’re roommates.
Friends.
You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a best friend in…if…it would change things to say it and I can’t lose you.”

How many times had I said the same thing in my head?
 
All this time, he…

I kissed him.
 
My throat was too thick for words, but I could say it with my body.
 
He lifted me onto his lap and tilted his head to deepen contact, one hand sliding under the hem of my shirt to hold me to him.
 
He loved me?

A laugh burst out of me. And then I couldn’t stop.
 
He stared at me with brow furrowed, but I couldn’t speak to explain.
 
Hysteria had taken hold.
 
Couldn’t regain control until I saw hurt creep into his eyes, the wall coming back up.
 
“Sorry…sorry… You don’t know how many times I’ve said those words to myself. Honest to God. You were this amazing friend and I kept hoping this crush would go away, but nothing worked and you’re too damn perfect. If you retreated from me…or moved out?”
 
I shook my head.

“A crush.”

“It started as a crush.”
 
I caressed his cheek.
 
“But I love you, too.”
 
His face broke out in a brilliant smile, the force of it almost too much for me to take.
 
Playing with his collar, I confessed, “I’ve wanted you since the airport.”

“What?”

“My body had this instant reaction and it’s been craving you ever since.”
 
Peeked at him through my lashes.
 
“I’ve felt like such a perv.”

His pupils were dilated.
 
“I heard you in the shower and it was pure torture.
The tank top and shorts?
That nightgown the night of Rosalind’s party?
You’ve driven me crazy for weeks.”

“I wasn’t wearing anything under that nightgown.

“I know
,
I felt it when I hugged you, and I felt like the worst friend in the world for noticing it.”

“Some of that stuff I did on purpose to see if you’d crack.”

He groaned.
 
“Jess, you’ll be the death of me.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

A kiss and pelvic grind and he
was
carrying me into his bedroom.

He set me on the bed, lifted my shirt over my head, and reached for my bra.

“What’s the rush, I.T. Boy? Some people need foreplay.”

He gently cupped my breasts.
 
“Foreplay…
like
this?”
 
I nodded.
 
On his knees, he kissed down the center of my torso.
 
“You’re so beautiful.”

“Says the man that’s only seen one naked woman.”

“Up close.”
 
He unfastened my jeans.
 
“And personal, yes.
But that doesn’t matter.”
 
Slid them off my legs.
 
“I know how lucky I am.”
 
My panties had gone with them.
 
He kissed my thigh close to where it joined my body.
 
“Tell me how to please you.”

“You’re wearing too many clothes.”
 
I tried to sit up.
 
Talking about lady parts with a man wasn’t something I did.

Patrick kept a firm hand on my belly.
 
“Jess, I want to learn what you like.”

“I like you naked.”

“You said you wanted foreplay.”
 
He removed his hand, but only to slide it between my legs and caress the folds of—I gasped.
 
“Was that wrong?”
 
A strong shake of my head.
 
How had he found my clit that fast?
 
“Is this alright?”

I yanked him up by his shirt and kissed him, but the clever man kept his fingers exploring and teasing.
 
“Later. I need you.”

Looking into my eyes, he gave in, stripped, and reached for a drawer.

“You had condoms?”

“Bought them this morning.”

“Then it’s a good thing I love you, Handsome.”

Grinning, he slid into me, and we both moaned.
 
His first time controlling the action.
 
It took a few strokes to find his rhythm,
then
he was off to the races like a champ.
 
He linked our hands and pressed them to the bed.
 
I wrapped my legs around his hips.

“God, you feel good,” I said.

“Fair warning—you’re not leaving this bed this morning.”

“I can live with that.”

Somehow he noticed I was getting close and reached down to touch me where we joined.
 
His thumb found my clit and it only took a couple nudges with him inside me to set me off.
 
When I could open my eyes, he looked way too proud of himself.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re my new favorite subject to study.”

“And you were an overachiever in school.”

“Yes.”
 
His fingers teased my nipple.
 
A partial twist and I squeezed his penis still inside me.
 
“I wasn’t satisfied unless I reached an A+ in every class, and the Book of Jess is something I’m very dedicated to.”
 
Slow, shallow thrusts.

“You didn’t come?”

“I learned this—
”
 
He
circled my clit again.
 
“—is very responsive.
You got ahead of me.”

“I am—don’t stop—a year older.”

“Then it’s a good thing you have a very apt pupil.”

Grabbing his head, I kissed him.
 
If he wanted to spend the morning making me see stars, who was I to judge?
 
We could always reheat the croissants.