The Rules of Regret (5 page)

He
halted for a moment, then continued once he realized I was still moving
forward.
“
That
something you want to talk about?
”
The sensitivity in his tone was alarmingly comforting, and though he
’
d just admitted to losing a sibling,
I didn
’
t
want to talk, so I just said,
“
Nope,
”
and then he said,
“
Okay,
”
without even missing a beat, like he
could completely read my social cues.
“
But
it does sound like fun,
”
he added,
“
having
all those siblings around.
”

I
shrugged my shoulders.
“
Trust
me, it
’
s
more fun in theory than in reality.
”

“
Okay,
”
Torin said, nodding. His endearingly
disheveled hair bounced along his ears.
“
I
can do that.
”

“
Do what?
”
I followed at his side, and when the
trees opened up into a small clearing, I lifted my gaze to meet his.

“
Trust you.
”
He pointed a finger above us toward
the rope ladders, zip lines, and netting strung in the canopy of trees.
“
Because that
’
s the theme of our first exercise.
”
Torin bent down to snatch two
helmets off the forest floor. He passed one to me, and then gathered the black
harnesses that rested on a nearby tree stump, their straps and buckles tangled
together.
“
You
ready to put all your trust in me, those ropes, and this carabineer, Darby?
”

My
face went white, not that I could see it, but I could feel it. I could feel all
of the blood literally rush away from my head, leaving behind a ghostly pallor
of pale flesh like Albino Boy
’
s
back in the Rec Hall. What had I signed up for? I choked down the bile that
crept up my throat.

“
I
’
ll take your lack of an appropriate
response as a yes,
”
Torin said as he fitted the helmet onto my head.

CHAPTER FOUR

“
Please don
’
t do that again.
”
Torin scrunched up his face,
entirely disgusted. He shuddered like he just witnessed something truly
revolting and a shiver ran through him head-to-toe.

I
stared down the length of the tree at my vomit that puddled at its base.

“
I
’
ll try not to,
”
I groaned, wiping my mouth with the
back of my hand.
“
But
no promises. I think I have an unusually responsive gag reflex.
”

The
trees swayed at my periphery and I clutched on tighter to the bark, splinters
wedging under my nails. I
’
d
always considered myself environmentally conscious, but the term tree hugger
was much more fitting in this moment. I didn
’
t think the Jaws of Life would be
able to pry my grip from this thousand-year-old redwood. I was pretty sure the
tree might have just gotten to second base with me.

“
You
’
re not going to fall,
”
Torin assured from his perch on a
two-foot by two-foot platform nailed to the tree opposite me. Two thick wires
connected us, one about six feet above the other.
“
See?
”

He
leapt off the wooden base and a scream burst out of me, burning my already raw
throat. My blood-curdling wail bounced off the surrounding trees like a game of
pinball. Torin chuckled as he dangled by his harness, swinging back and forth
as though he was on a child
’
s
playground equipment rather than suspended one hundred feet in the air.

“
See?
”
he said again.
“
This will catch you. You can trust
that.
”

Though
he was by no means a body builder
—
I
was certain Lance could bench press double what Torin could
—
he surprised me
with his upper body strength as he pulled himself back up to the platform with
just the use of his arms as he glided up the wire hand-over-hand.

“
Plus,
”
he continued on, ignoring the fact
that I wasn
’
t
looking at him and had now pinched my eyes completely shut.
“
You need to be able to do this if you
expect our campers to do it.
”

“
I don
’
t think I actually expect them to do
it. This is pretty terrifying, you know,
”
I called out to him.

“
Well that
’
s just great, Darby.
”
I could hear the sarcastic quality
in his voice and assumed he was rolling his eyes, because that
’
s what you did when you took that
tone with someone.
“
If
that
’
s
the case, then you
’
ll
be just like everyone else in their lives. Way to be the change.
”

“
What
’
s that mean?
”
I questioned, peering out of just my
right eye like a pirate, which was fitting since he was sort of asking me to
walk the plank. I almost wanted to tack on an
‘
Arrggg,
’
at the end of my question, but that
would make me a dork. Torin already thought I was crazy. I wasn
’
t sure I wanted dork status to make
the cut as well.

“
I mean if you don
’
t expect anything from your campers,
then that
’
s
what you
’
ll
get
—
nothing.
And that
’
s
what they
’
re
used to giving, so you
’
ll
make their job very easy.
”

“
I told you I wasn
’
t cut out for this,
”
I retaliated, both frustrated with
myself and Torin, but mostly with Lance who left me to fend for myself for six
weeks. Being tethered to a tree in the Trinity Alps Wilderness was not my idea
of the perfect start to summer. I could almost taste the Cheetos on the tip of
my tongue and longed for the boring, uneventful routine Sonja and I had
originally planned for our break. I even missed the beige SW7036 hue that
coated our walls.

“
It
’
s about overcoming,
”
Torin said, his hand still gloved
and outstretched my direction. If he thought I was going to grab ahold of it,
he was crazy and I
’
d
already claimed that title. Though it did seem like it took a fair amount of
crazy to work here. Why couldn
’
t
I have signed up for a program that involved logic and reason? I was good at
those things. I would even settle for science camp over this. Nerd goggles and
test tubes were much more my speed.

“
Tell me ten things about you.
”

My
eyelids popped open and the bird
’
s
eye view of the forest instantly surged a dizzying rush to my brain. I dug my
nails further into the bark to center myself.
“
What? Why?
”

“
Because you
’
re my partner.
”
Torin dropped down onto his platform
and swung his legs over the side. He kicked them back and forth like he was on
the dock of a pier.
“
We
should get to know one another since we
’
ll
be spending the next six weeks together.
”

“
Oh
…
yeah
…
I guess so.
”

He
kept up with the leg swinging and I tried not to look at it because it made my
knees unhinge and my stomach feel weightless, two things I didn
’
t really enjoy when my feet weren
’
t fully planted on the earth
’
s surface.
“
What do you want to know?
”

“
Whatever you want to tell me.
”
Torin shrugged.
“
But here
’
s the deal, with each thing you tell
me, you need to take one step forward on the rope.
”

I
tried to vehemently shake my head, but it probably looked more like an
uncontrolled tick because I was clinging so tightly to the tree that any
movement I made was hindered by my death grip.
“
I don
’
t like that idea. Self-disclosure and
tightrope walking for me while you just sit there? Hardly seems fair.
”

“
Oh.
”
Torin grinned knowingly.
“
So you
’
re one of those.
”

“
One of those, what?
”

“
One of those that thinks everything
needs to be fair.
”
He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them. It made him look young,
like a little boy just climbing a backyard tree. It also made him kind of
adorable.
“
Fine.
Then I
’
ll
tell you ten things about me, but you have to take a step with each one.
”

 
“
Not
in any way to be mean, but I don
’
t
have this overwhelming urge to get to know you right now.
”
I really didn
’
t like that I was coming across rude,
but being up this high in this tree made my whole sensor start to disintegrate.
“
I
’
m a little more focused on not
falling to my death.
”

“
Darby, I
’
m pretty sure I can guarantee your
survival, if that
’
s
what you
’
re
worried about. Remember, this forest is my home.
”
Torin lifted up and rose to his
feet, popping his knuckles together. Crack, crack, crack.
“
Let
’
s try something different. What is
something you
’
re
looking forward to? Some goal you have?
”

I
didn
’
t
know where he was going with this, but I had no choice but to either play along
or make myself comfortable in this formidable evergreen. I resigned to the
first option, because although the tree and I were becoming quite intimate, I
would rather get out of its branches sooner than later.
“
A goal? I don
’
t know. To visit Lance this summer, I
guess.
”

“
Okay, that
’
s a good one. Let
’
s go with that.
”
He held out his hand toward me once
again.
“
So
to reach that goal, you have to do several things first, right?
”

“
Um, yeah.
”

Torin
waved me forward, but I didn
’
t
budge.
“
Pretend
I
’
m Lance
—”

“
Ha!
”
I belted out.
“
I
’
m sorry, but that made me laugh.
”

“
I can see that. No worries.
”
Torin just smiled, apparently
unaffected by my slip-up of laughter. I wasn
’
t usually rude. I didn
’
t know what it was about this guy
that brought that out in me.
“
Pretend
I
’
m Lance and I
’
m at the airport awaiting your plane
’
s arrival.
”
His light eyes opened widely and met
mine. He had the same friendly eyes as his dad and I wanted to stare at them
longer, but that felt a little creepy, so I shifted my focus back to the
tightrope.
“
In
order to get on the plane, what
’
s
the first thing you have to do?
”

“
Buy a ticket.
”

“
Very good.
”
Torin congratulated me like I was a
kindergartner that just spelled my first word correctly.
“
This is where you take one step
forward.
”

“
No, Torin. I don
’
t think I can.
”
I shook my head so he could see and
bit my bottom lip between my teeth.

“
Visiting your boyfriend isn
’
t incentive enough?
”
Torin pursed his lips and I was
surprised that he came off a little bit like a jerk. But maybe that was just me
casting my views on him already, because in all fairness, I really wanted him
to be a jerk. I didn
’
t
want him to be endearingly disheveled and sincere the way he sort of made
himself out to be. So I kept telling myself he was acting like a jerk, hoping
that maybe he
’
d
rise up to meet that projection. So far, so good. By late this afternoon, I was
pretty sure he would reach full-on jerk ranking.

“
Okay then,
”
he continued.
“
Let
’
s modify. Pretend I
’
m Lance and I
’
m in a burning building.
”

“
Why are you in a burning building?
”

“
I don
’
t know. I was cooking you a
candle-lit dinner and the place went up in flames.
”
Torin fiddled with his harness and
it made me nervous that he was being so casual up here. One false move and he
could tumble to his tragic death. Though I didn
’
t really know the guy, it would be
sad to see him go so early on in our obligatory friendship, even if he did end
up being the complete jerk I hoped he was. Regardless, I really wished he would
leave his harness alone.
“
You
need to come rescue me and get me outta here.
”