Authors: Grace Thompson
‘Shouldn’t we wait a while longer? It’s probably a false alarm. Olive said most people think it’s on the way long before it arrives.’
‘Darling, I’m as frightened as you. But if it’s too soon, well it’s better than leaving it too long. I don’t want my daughter born in a taxi!’
The door opened and Kitty gave a sigh of relief. ‘Faith? Is that you? I think I’m about to give birth?’
‘Not here, I hope!’ Faith said, as cheerfully as she could.
‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ Gareth said. ‘Will you stay while I go and get a taxi?’
‘No need,’ a voice called and Ian came in smiling. ‘Come on, the car’s outside and we’ll soon be there.’
Faith wrapped Kitty in a blanket even though she was far from cold. Ian went ahead and opened the car door, then waited until Kitty and Gareth were comfortable before getting in himself. ‘Come on, you’d better come as well,’ he said to Faith. So, after scribbling a note
and carrying only the key, she jumped in. Slowly, calmly Ian drove to the hospital where they sat and waited patiently for news.
After checking with the nurses, they drove home, had something to eat, then returned to their place on the uncomfortable seat in the dark-green-tiled corridor to wait some more. It was almost eleven o’clock when an excited Gareth found them.
‘It’s a girl! We have a daughter, six pounds and fifteen ounces and she’s beautiful and Kitty was wonderful and everything is perfect.’ He blurted the news without a pause.
When he had calmed down and told them everything for the fifth time they went back to No 3. Olive was there and Mr and Mrs Gretorex. The news was reported all over again and in the kitchen, making the inevitable tea, Faith confided in Ian that the only sad note was the thought that now they would be leaving her and moving into their own home.
Paul advertised for help and had several replies. He asked Faith to read the applications and to sit in on the interviews and she agreed.
‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’ Ian asked when she told him. ‘I think he still believes you’ll go on helping him; perhaps moving in is the best solution.’
She stared at him, a frown darkening her brow. ‘Are you telling me I should?’
‘I can’t tell you what to do, Faith. You make your own decisions.’
‘Moving in to look after Paul and the children is not one of them!’ She spoke sharply, hurt and confused by his remark. Did he really care so little for her that he could see that as a solution to Paul’s problem?
Staring at her intently, he said, ‘Tell him you won’t do it, then. Tell him you can’t be involved in what should be his decisions.’
‘I admit I want to help for the sake of Winnie and the children, but I know you’re right. Paul has to deal with his life his way. I said I’d go and I will, but will you come with me?’ She reached for her coat. He nodded and they went out together.
Paul opened the door and stood back for them to go inside, but Faith stayed on the step. ‘Paul, I’ve been thinking about this help you need, and—’
‘And you’ll help?’ he interrupted.
‘No, I’m not free to help any longer and I really think it’s best for you to choose the person to look after Jack, Bill and Polly.’
‘You’re abandoning us?’
‘Hardly that. I want to keep in touch with the children, I love them very much, but you have to build your new life, making your own decisions.’
‘And is this
your
decision, Faith?’ He looked at Ian then back at her.
‘Yes. My decision.’
Ian said ‘Goodnight,’ as he put a proprietary arm on Faith’s shoulder and led her away but Paul didn’t respond.
Later that night, after Ian had gone home, Paul knocked the door and walked in.
‘Paul? Is something wrong? The children?’
‘A neighbour is with them. I wanted to warn you not to wait for Ian to make up his mind. Come and look after us; he doesn’t want more than casual friendship and I can offer you more, much more. Don’t waste years waiting for him to make up his mind.’
Swallowing that unpalatable truth she told him to stop talking in that way. ‘Winnie was my friend and it isn’t very long since we lost her.’
‘You know there was something between us, even before Winnie died, and now we don’t have to pretend any longer.’
Faith stood up and went to the door. ‘Time to leave,’ she said firmly. ‘And for both our sakes I think we should forget you called here this evening.’
‘Won’t you at least think about it before making a decision we’ll both regret?’
‘My decision is made and I know it’s the right one. Now go and please don’t mention this conversation again.’
She phoned Ian and told him what had happened. ‘I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t,’ she said.
‘He shouldn’t mention it again, but if he does, we’ll talk to him, together.’
‘I’ll miss the children.’
‘Once Paul has started rebuilding his life you’ll see them again, we both will.’
She settled to sleep an hour later warmed by Ian’s words; they implied a closeness. Her future was shining just a little bit more because of it.
*
Ian was getting his samples into the back of his car when he saw Tessa walking towards him. He stopped what he was doing and waited as she approached.
‘Do you want to see me?’
‘Yes, but if you’re busy I can come another time.’
‘Now will do.’ He didn’t want to arrange meetings, it was so easy for life to become complicated. Besides, she looked as though she had been crying and was in need of a moment of his time.
‘I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. Every time I look at this house I daydream about living here with you. I was a fool to be taken in by Nick’s flattery and charm.’
‘I’m sorry, Tessa, but what d’you want me to do? We can’t go back, even if we wanted to.’
‘I do want to, that’s the problem. Nick and I are no longer happy with each other. He’s seeing other women. Ian, I’m so unhappy.’ Tears ran down her cheeks from reddened eyes.
Familiarity tempted him in a brief moment of recognition. The girl he’d known since schooldays, a loving friend whom he had helped through every problem, large and small ever since. It would be so easy to offer her the familiar comfort of his arms. He saw a movement at the periphery of his sight and knew his mother was watching. Thoughts were disturbed, then a vision of Faith filled his mind and he knew that she was his future, not Tessa, who had left once and possibly would again.
‘I’ve moved on,’ he said. ‘My life is full and I’m happy. If you and Nick are having problems you have to work through them.’
Vivienne had seen Tessa from the window and she opened the door and called:
‘Don’t be late for your appointment, Ian. Tessa, have you time for a cup of tea?’
Thankfully Ian drove off. Tessa ran in and hugged his mother.
Vivienne listened as Tessa told her of the frequent quarrels she had with Nick.
‘What do you quarrel about, dear? Money? Choice of
entertainment
? Once you identify the problem you’re halfway to fixing it.’
‘I don’t think so. He’s been seeing other women. A girl who works in the bar of his local is his latest.’
‘You’re sure?’
‘I’m sure.’
‘You went with him when he was engaged to Faith,’ Vivienne reminded her softly, ‘and you were going to marry my son. You might have guessed it would happen again. That’s often the case.’
‘I realized my mistake soon after Nick and I ran off. I really loved Ian and Nick turned my head. A kind of madness I think, looking back.’
‘Too late now, dear. Ian is happy, and you and Nick will sort
yourselves
out, I’m sure. Drink your tea and I’ll walk part of the way home with you.’
‘It’s a lovely house, isn’t it?’
‘It’s big for just the two of us, but it will be a lovely home when Ian furnishes it to suit himself and whoever he brings here as his wife.’
‘That won’t be me.’
‘No, dear. It won’t be you.’
Vivienne was worried. Ian seemed afraid to commit to Faith even though he seemed to be very fond of her. Could he still want Tessa after all that had happened? Tessa was married and a messy divorce was not what she wanted for her son.
Tessa walked past the bus stop, heading for the beach. She wasn’t in a hurry, a day off work to go to the doctor meant she could spend the rest of the day as she chose. The doctor had been so cheerful when he told her she was pregnant. How could he smile as though presenting a valued prize? Presume it was every woman’s dream? She and Nick were no longer a couple, and the so-called marriage was a sham. She hadn’t the right to his name, even though she called herself Tessa Harris, Mrs Nick Harris.
She didn’t think her parents would be very pleased when she told them the truth and she desperately needed someone to talk to. Mrs Palmer’s cake shop wasn’t far away and she went in and asked Faith if they could have lunch together.
Surprise and curiosity persuaded Faith to agree and they went into a corner café and ordered eggs on toast and tea.
‘Nick and I are not married,’ Tessa announced as soon as the
waitress
had brought their meal. ‘There was a mix-up when we got to the register office and, well, we came home and everyone just presumed we’d done what we’d planned.’
‘That’s easily remedied. You can arrange a ceremony and no one else need know. If you want someone to come with you, I’d be happy to and I’ll keep your secret.’
‘It isn’t that simple. Nick has had affairs with at least three other women since our pretend marriage. Now I’m going to have a baby and he doesn’t want it.’
‘A baby? But he has to support you; whether the marriage is real or not isn’t relevant.’ Faith felt sickness surge through her as
memories
of walking away from her baby returned as real as if it had just happened. She closed her eyes and saw the tiny helpless child she had known for such a brief moment. She pushed her food aside and couldn’t speak for a long time.
‘He doesn’t want it. My parents won’t be able to face the truth. I don’t know what to do.’
‘It’s probably the shock,’ Faith said shakily. ‘He’ll come round. Most men want a child to carry on their name, don’t they?’
‘I want to end the lies and make the marriage real. He wants to tell the truth and end it.’ She wiped away a tear angrily. ‘You gave your baby away; I desperately want to keep mine.’
‘So would I in your circumstances,’ Faith said softly, the pain harsh and deep.
‘I’m sorry, I only meant the circumstances
are
so different, yet the result could be the same. I could lose my child too.’
‘An abortion? You couldn’t do that. Think of the risk for yourself!’
‘I lose Nick or I lose the baby. What a choice, eh?’
Faith didn’t feel able to talk to Ian about what she had learned, but she trusted Vivienne. Ian was at home but she went to the house and invited herself for supper. ‘My treat,’ she said, ‘I’m buying fish and chips for us all.’
While Ian sorted out the paperwork after his day, she walked to the fish-and-chip shop with Vivienne and told her everything Tessa had admitted.
‘I think Ian should know,’ Vivienne said, ‘but I’m afraid he’ll feel too much sympathy. I know he still has feelings for her. After all, they’ve known each other since the age of seven.’
‘I’ll leave it for you to decide,’ Faith said. They hurried back with the food but neither woman had much appetite.
Tessa was in real trouble and now Faith knew she was free to marry. This could be the point at which Ian returns to his first love. Faith felt the familiar urgings again. She was going to lose Ian and she wanted to pack everything up and run away.
*
Paul called at No 3 and found Faith making pastry for some jam tarts. She wiped her hands free of flour and asked him what he wanted.
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘I want nothing, I just called to tell you I’ve found someone to look after Jack, Bill and Polly.’
‘Good. I’m pleased. Things will slot into place now you have help.’
‘You know her, I believe. She was a lodger here for a while.’
Faith stared at him willing him not to say the name she dreaded. Please, don’t let it be Gwenllian.
‘Gwenllian, a cousin of Matt Hewitt,’ he confirmed. He gave a harsh laugh. ‘She said you wouldn’t be pleased. From the expression on your face she was right.’
‘It’s nothing to do with me. But I wish it was someone else. She isn’t slow to rise to anger. Sadly it must be in the Hewitt family.’ She almost told him she suspected Gwenllian of ruining her first Christmas at No 3 and possibly her garden as well, but without proof she dared not. ‘We don’t like each other but that’s no reason for me to doubt her ability to care for the children. But watch her, Paul. Make sure the children are safe.’
‘You can change my mind, if you’d only agree to help us.’
‘Sorry, Paul. I can’t.’
An hour later, as the jam tarts were cooling on a wire tray, the door opened and Gwenllian burst in. ‘How dare you interfere!’
Startled, Faith dropped the last of the pastries on to the floor. ‘What am I supposed to have done now?’
‘Tried to persuade Paul not to employ me to look after his children. What d’you think I’Il do? Beat them? Poison them?’
‘I simply reminded Paul that, like your cousin Matt, you have a temper.’ She gestured towards her with a hand to demonstrate the example Gwenllian was giving.
‘You ruined Matt’s life by pretending to love him then giving away his child. Now you’re trying to ruin mine.’
‘Matt ruined his own life, and if you aren’t careful, you’ll do the same.’
Faith was shaking when the woman had gone. She picked up the damaged tarts and threw them into the garden for the birds. She seemed to bring out the worst in people. So many had shown
disapproval
since she came to the town. It was Olive, who called later for her weekly collection who put Gwenllian’s outburst into
perspective
.
‘Gwenllian isn’t a friend, she’s made that clear, but Paul is. You stick up for friends and if that means upsetting someone who might harm them it’s something you have to accept.’ She reached to the dresser and took down a couple of cups and saucers. ‘Now, what about me trying a couple of them tarts? Blackcurrant jam, is it? My favourite.’ Smiling, Faith filled the kettle.