The Sacrificial Daughter (36 page)

When Jesse arrived at the school four hours later it was in complete lock down. Teachers and parents stood about in knots at all the corners, while others in groups of four patrolled the edges of the parking lot and around the perimeters of the school. Thankfully for them the winter had yet to turn bitter.

Jesse sat in her stolen car and waited for the right cover; she couldn't walk into the school alone. Nor could she arrive too early or too late. So she watched and waited. It wasn't a long wait. Spying a group of costumed students Jesse slipped out of her car and ran up behind them. Close but not too close.

At the entrance of the school, Mrs. Daly stood with some adults that Jesse didn't recognize. "Wow, don't you all just look wonderful?" the receptionist exclaimed. "Who are all these glamorous people?"

"It's me, Ryan," the boy in front said, pulling down his mask. "And that's Jodi and Beth and my little brother, and..." There was only one person left to name. Jesse took that moment to kneel down and fiddle with her shoe beneath her white gown. "And, uh..."

"Hey what's with all the adults?" one of the girls asked. "There's like twice as many as last year."

"It's Harold," Mrs. Daly said, speaking low. "He's disappeared. The police had him under surveillance, but around ten this morning he just up and vanished. They even searched his home. They found nothing."

"No way!" Ryan cried.

"Yes way," Mrs. Daly replied. "So this means we're being extra careful. The principal is even turning a blind eye to smoking. I know that you four don't smoke, but if you know someone who does, they've roped off a little section behind the library. No one will be allowed to leave the building by themselves. You'll be escorted back to your cars at the end of the evening."

The kids in front of her started exclaiming angrily. One demanded that someone should kill Harold on sight, while another posited places where he could be hiding. Jesse slipped around them as they went on and strode away toward the gym dreading the moment when she would be called back and forced to unmask. This was the most dangerous time. Barely breathing, she walked toward the sound of the thumping music and it was only when she made the turn toward the gym that she was able to relax.

She had made it. Jesse was now in the inner sanctum of the school and as long as she kept to herself she would be taken for just another student. However, Jesse didn't want to keep to herself. She wanted to smile and laugh and above all else she wanted to dance. That is why she had crafted a cover for herself. If forced to answer any questions, she would be Tricia Reynolds, junior at Northwestern high in Flint. Currently staying with her aunt Debbie for the holidays.

As the late afternoon hours had dragged by Jesse had invented a hundred particulars about her cover: Tricia Reynolds played the harp, enjoyed skydiving, read a book a day, and had taken ballet until a bull-riding incident sidelined her.

Jesse planned on having fun.

Walking into the gym, she paused to stare. If one used their imagination the gym had been transformed into a lush garden, covered over in low-slung misty clouds. If not, then it was just a gym. The basketball nets were still basketball nets only they were strung with stretched white gauze. The folded bleachers were still bleachers only a long forest mural had been taped up onto them.

Jesse had imagination to spare and she loved the room. It helped that the lights were dimmed way down and that strobes flashed with the beat. The music was another plus. Instead of someone's garage-band shredding up chords like a rottweiler chewing on glass, a DJ had been hired. He stood behind a mountain of electronic equipment and kept the throng of kids shimmying and jiggling for all they were worth.

It looked like fun. 

After hanging up her coat she went to look for the one boy that she really wanted to share her fun with, Ky. If he were there, he would be lurking along the edges of the crowd; he was too well known to try a cover story like Jesse. So she slipped along unconsciously dancing to the beat as she moved, and in her wake she left a slew of envy.

"That's the dress!"

"Look at her."

"I tried that on, it didn't fit."

"Stop looking at her!"

"I love that gown..."

It all made her smile. She knew that she looked good. After she had colored her hair and applied enough make up to cover her bruises, which was a ridiculous amount, she hadn't been able to stop staring either. But that was the whole idea.

Unfortunately, the one person she most wanted to see her wasn't there. She looked everywhere for him. First, she walked the perimeter of the gym. Then she criss-crossed it. Finally she went from boy to boy giving them each a good stare, yet Ky was definitely not among them. His father was however, and she eagerly waited until he was alone to go up to him.

"Hi Mr. Mendel," she said cheerily. "Are you still looking for Kyle?"

He peered in at her face. "Who are you?"

"Oh. Right, I forgot." Jesse turned from the students and slid up her mask. Even so he shook his head. "It's me Jesse Clarke. Remember, I keep running into you in the woods?"

"Oh right...and no I'm not looking for Kyle. He's at home. This isn't his kind of thing."

Though it was keen inside her, Jesse didn't let her disappointment show. How could he be at home?

She chatted amiably for another minute, gave a perfectly respectable goodbye to Mr. Mendel, and then went to dance, trying not to feel sad. She had to remind herself that Ky was a pipe dream. At the most, they would've had only a few dances together and maybe a kiss or two. After that the clock would've struck twelve and her chariot would've gone back to being a pumpkin.

There would be no happily ever after with Ky. There would be only death in a thousand forms lurking over her shoulder. Just then, a tap on her shoulder made her jump.

"Hi, doyouwantodancewithme?" A sweaty boy stood there in a homemade pirate outfit. His "mask" was a pair of sunglasses that he had pushed atop his bandana-covered head.

The DJ had slipped something slow into the mix and crowds were surging to the dance floor. "Of course," she said. Jesse wasn't picky about her partners. It would have been the height of hypocrisy to have been, seeing as, had she had gone without a mask, nobody would have given her the time of day. The boy danced with her and despite that he kept wiping them on his flayed jeans, his hand on her back sweated through her silk.

"Relax," Jesse told him. "The best part about a masquerade ball is that nobody is supposed to know who you are. Which means you can be anyone. Just pretend that you are James Bond. James Bond never gets nervous around a girl."

"But you're so pretty and I'm just..."

"You're James Bond, remember?"

"But I'm dressed as a pirate!" the boy laughed. "Who are you pretending to be?"

After just giving him the advice to pretend to be someone you weren't, Jesse couldn't tell the boy the truth, that she was finally being herself. "Just an angel," she said.

"Well, you are the most beautiful angel," he said. "Who are you? Are you a freshman too?"

"Didn't I just tell you? I'm an angel...we don't have names." Immediately she remembered that they did, but the boy didn't press the issue and a minute later the song ended. She declined another dance and strolled diagonally across the dance floor...the long way. Before she reached the end a second boy asked her.

He was tall and gangly and when he became a man he would be ruggedly handsome, but just then his feet were too big and his elbows swung out, reminding Jesse of the description of Ichabod Crane. He was sweet and laughed a lot once his nervousness had quelled.

Jesse danced with every boy who asked her, regardless of their costume. She partnered with a cowboy, a karate black belt, even a chef. After skipping a few songs, her outfit simply wasn't designed for fast dancing, she finally accepted a dance from someone properly dressed. There was a difference between a masquerade ball and Halloween flavored dance. The boy was tall and broad. He was dressed as the Phantom of the Opera and Jesse couldn't help feel her heart beat a trifle harder. He could dance as well and was in no way nervous, but he was persistent. His hands roamed like there was no tomorrow.

"Do you mind?" Jesse asked, grabbing him by the wrist and bringing his hand up to her back.

"No, I don't mind a bit," he replied, grinning mischievously beneath his half mask. "Is that you, Helly?"

Helly? Was that a nickname for Helen? "I'm not telling." Jesse answered. "It would ruin all the fun. I don't know who you are after all."

This struck him as the funniest thing and he leaned his big frame over her in a fit of laughter. It was then that she realized the boy had been drinking. He almost slid off her to the floor, but managed to catch himself just in time. He straightened in a flourish and still laughing proclaimed, "It's me Alan, you dope. That must be Helly underneath there."

Jesse had to grab his hands again, this time to keep him from peeling away her mask. "Stop that! This mask cost a fortune," she admonished him. The kids in Ashton, sober or not, being so poor had respect for money and valuable items. Alan was quick to mumble out an apology and stopped his attempt at taking her mask off.

"One more?" he asked when the song ended. Jesse didn't have a chance to answer.

She was spun about and came face to face with Amanda Jorgenson. Behind the big blonde stood her fellow pack members.

"Let's see who this bitch is who's dancing with all the boys," Amanda growled.

No, it's too soon!
Jesse's soul screamed in anger. She had only been at the dance for an hour and she wanted so much more. Amanda, wearing an outfit that made her look like Maid Marian
,
advanced on Jesse with her face scrunched into a scowl and her clawed hands out reaching for Jesse's face.

But then Amanda broke into a huge grin. "Helly is that you? When did you have time to go into Barton?"

"I'm not Helly," Jesse said in a gleeful voice. She was anything but gleeful. There were kids all around her and she had no idea who was her enemy and who wasn't. "How could you even think that?"

With a little twirl, Jesse danced away from Amanda's hands, but thumped up against Alan's bulk and bounced forward again toward Amanda.

"Then who..." Amanda began to ask. They were too close, only at arm's reach and with backing away an impossibility Jesse stepped into Amanda, grabbing her arms as if they were waltzing. She pulled her enemy in close to keep her hands from getting to her face and felt her skin crawl as she did it. This was the same girl who had tried to kill her only two days before.

"I won't tell. It's way more fun this way," Jesse said. She gave the girl a spin and Amanda giggled.

"I love this song!" Tina cried suddenly. "Let's go dance." Tina tried to grab both Jesse's and Amanda's hand, but Amanda pulled back.

"Wait. We shouldn't dance with her until we know who she is. After all she could be a freshman!"

"Eek!" one of the girls screamed and then laughed.

"That's not funny, Amanda," another girl said in an irate voice. "Sue and Dakota are right here."

"You know I don't care about that," Amanda laughed. "I was just kidding. But I'm just dying to know who this is. That is just the coolest dress. Who could afford that?"

Jesse's heart went to her throat as heads turned at the question. Clearly, very few kids in Ashton could. A panic started to seize Jesse. "I'll tell, if..." The idea of a dare jumped into her mind. But what? Jesse looked around for some sort of inspiration and saw the gangly boy she had danced with earlier. His elbows still stuck out when he danced and from this view he looked like a...

Jesse turned back to Amanda and said, "I'll take off my mask if you go out on the dance floor and do the 'chicken dance' all by yourself...without your mask on."

The very idea brought on a gale of laughter from everyone around. Much to Jesse's horror, Amanda looked to be considering the challenge and her friends egging her on didn't help.

"Mother-pus-bucket," she whispered. Just then one of the boys that had been standing with Amanda's friends stepped up to Jesse.

"Hey, before the chicken song comes on, do you want to dance?"

The boy had something similar to a Phantom costume on: a loose, black three-piece suit, a Halloween cape, and a simple mask. Jesse gave him a close look before accepting. There was no way she was going to dance with either Ronny or John.

"Sure, I'll dance with you. But how do you know there's going to be a Chicken song?" Jesse said hurrying to the dance floor. "Maybe Amanda won't take the dare."

"I know in the same way that I know that you're from out of town. Wait here."

Jesse wasn't going anywhere. What he had said had stunned her too badly. Was she that obvious? Apparently so. She watched the boy dart through the crowd, passing through the dancers like a breeze. He went to the DJ, dug through his pocket, and ran back. Just as he came up, the song that had been playing ended abruptly and a new one...a slow one came on.

"Do you like Eric Clapton?" he asked taking Jesse in his arms. The boy smelled good and he was warm.

"I don't know," Jesse replied. "Is this him?"

"Yep, it's called
Wonderful Tonight
. It's good to dance to. At least I think so." The boy was strong in his hands and arms; his shoulder was just perfect for Jesse's head to rest upon.

"So are you going to tell me about Amanda?" Jesse asked, swaying to the rhythm. "And how you know she's going to take my dare?"

"She's not...now," the boy answered. "I paid the DJ to 'lose' that song." Jesse looked up at him and caught him staring intently at her. She had to look away. "I also paid him to give me the next five songs."

Wow,
her voice of reason said.

Right as always. Jesse wasn't going anywhere for those five songs. She was in his debt. "You were that sure that she would take the dare?"

"Yes. I've known Amanda since I was a kid...heck since I was born." The boy explained. "She was in the crib next to mine at the hospital. I've got a picture of it. And in all that time I've never seen her turn down a dare. So that's how I knew...but then again everyone knows that in Ashton. So..."

"You were right about me. I'm actually from Flint. I'm staying with an aunt of mine for the holidays." Jesse said, feeling more remorse for her lie than she had expected when she had been practicing at home. She was anxious to change the subject. "So, five songs. That's kinda presumptuous. What happens if I don't stay and dance with you? Who will you ask?" She felt his muscles stiffen beneath his suit.

"You're not going to dance with me?"

"Maybe I want to see Amanda do the chicken dance. You ever think of that? I bet that would be the funniest thing ever."

At this, the boy grew uncomfortable in Jesse's arms. He lost the slow beat and stepped back away from her. "It would be funny. I'm sorry. I just thought you were upset at the idea of having your mask being taken off."

Jesse pulled him in close again and picked up the beat. "I was upset, you were right about that...and thank you for helping me out. I will dance with you, it's the least I can do."

He relaxed and smiled. "Don't feel obligated...but yeah it is the least you could do. And I want you to know I won't try to take off your mask. I don't care what you look like under there. Tonight you're beautiful."

The compliment whizzed by, practically unheard. He thought she was ugly! Even though it was the perfect justification to keep her mask on she fought the idea and grew angry in a flash.

"I'm not ugly, if that's what you think," she said. With her hands on her hips she abruptly came to a standstill in the middle of the dance floor. "I just happen to think I look prettier tonight than I have ever before and I didn't want to spoil it. I don't care if that sounds conceited or not. And yes, I am beautiful tonight. It's almost like I've reached my peak, like...like I'll never be this beautiful again."

These weren't the reasons that she wanted to keep her mask on, but they were true nevertheless.

"I keep screwing this up, don't I?" the boy asked staring up at the ceiling. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to suggest you were ugly...I just didn't know why you were so afraid to be seen. You...you are beautiful...and now that I know you're pretty under the mask as well, you've become the epitome of beauty in my eyes."

He was so heartfelt in his apology that Jesse relaxed a little. "I think you're laying it on kinda thick."

"I'm not," he answered. "I saw you dancing earlier. More importantly I saw who you were dancing with. I think your choice of partners was why my mind pictured the girl beneath the mask as...less pretty. Really, how many pretty girls would let Charlie McDonald touch them let alone dance with them?"

"Which one was Charlie?"

"The chef."

The chef hadn't been pleasant. She shrugged and replied, "He wasn't easy to dance with, it's true. But I can't turn them down when they come to me."

"And that's why you're the epitome of beauty," he said. "The costume is the illusion of beauty...and your face underneath is what everyone
thinks
of as beauty, but the true nature of beauty lies beneath even that."

Under her mask, Jesse felt her cheeks go red. "Ok stop. I'm not all that great."

"I think you are."

"That's because you don't know me." In a blink of a strobe, she realized what she had just said would take them down a path that she did not want to travel. Deftly she turned their conversation away from herself. They danced and they talked, all the while a chemical thing built up between them. There was an attraction there that they both felt. He sniffed her hair and she pressed her cheek to his chest. Yet for all that, there was also an odd stiffness as well. Jesse knew what was bothering her... This wasn't Ky.

Yes. He's better than Ky.

Perhaps that was true, but only because the boy actually talked to her. How can you have a relationship with a boy who can't talk to you without getting you killed? The simple answer: you don't.

Ky is a pipedream, remember?

He was, yet still Jesse felt obligated toward him. For one, he loved her and for two, he had saved her life, twice. She wasn't going to throw that away, especially on a boy who might spit in her face if she were to take off her mask.

When the five songs had run their course, Jesse prepared herself to turn the boy down. Undoubtedly he would ask for more.

"Thanks for the dance," he said.
Here it comes
, thought Jesse. Oddly, he put out his hand as if she should shake it, and said, "I've had such a fun time, but I have to get going."

What?
her voice demanded
.

"What? That's it?" Jesse asked, feeling as though the rug had been pulled from beneath her. She recovered quickly. "I mean...yes it's been fun. My ankle was hurting either way."

"Your ankle?"

She started off the dance floor and he walked next to her. "Yes, I tripped in the forest the other night."

He stopped her and looked up at the ceiling. "I've done that before too. Usually when I'm staring up at the stars...I can picture them above us right now." Jesse looked up. It was human nature do so. When she glanced again at the boy he wasn't looking up, he was staring intently at her neck. Self-consciously she touched herself and felt the slight scab where her neck had been cut by Ky's switchblade.

Her mind scrambled for excuses, but couldn't get past: 'I cut myself shaving', which didn't make any sense. "That? It's a uh..."

The boy grabbed her suddenly. "Why did you come here?" he demanded in a harsh whisper. "I didn't think you would be fool enough to show up. What were you thinking? You're in real danger."

There was only one boy in Ashton who spoke like that. "Ky, is that you."

"Shush! What are you crazy? Don't say my name out loud." Ky held her close and his fear was palpable, she could feel the thumping of his heart against her chest. Over the top of her head he scanned the crowds of students to see if anyone had heard.

Seeming to come to some conclusion, he said, "We have to get you out of here." He started to pull her, but she held her ground. This moment was what she had been looking for all night and so she pulled back on his hand. Between clenched teeth, he hissed, "Come on. It's dangerous for you here."

"Only because I'm dancing with you. If you weren't here, what would they do to me that they haven't already?"

His mouth opened and then closed. Even with the mask she could tell that he was exasperated. "Then I'm leaving," he said and turned to go.

Now it was her turn to grab him. "No, you're staying and if you want to protect me don't make a scene. Come on." She led him back out onto the dance floor and pulled him close. The song was a fast one, yet the two slow danced to a rhythm unheard by anyone else.

"This is crazy," he whispered into her ear. "This could get you killed. Why are you being like this?"

Because I love you
.

What voice in her head was that? The words jumped to the forefront of her mind and clung there. It was hard to think past them. "Because...because this is all we get. Tonight is it. Tomorrow you'll go back to being ignored and I'll go back to being hated. Our lives will go back to the misery that they were. But I have right now and I'll gladly suffer any pain that they can throw at me just so I can spend it with you."

Suddenly he crushed her slim body into his, wrapping his arms around her in a fierce embrace. She could barely breathe, yet she didn't care and held him just as tight.

Amanda dancing with a boy in a Zorro costume came up close and nudged Jesse. "Get a room," she called out over the heavy music.

Without being disingenuous, Jesse smiled at her. It seemed so strange to do so, but it would have been even more strange not to. Amanda Jorgenson had never seemed more friendly and outgoing. She laughed and danced and hugged enough for two people. There didn't seem to be an ounce of hate in her body.

The same was true for every one there. How many of them had repeated a nasty limerick about Jesse? How many had jeered her as she was left stranded by the busses? And how many had laughed and mocked and spat as she was led away by the police?

All of them? Most of them? At the same time, these weren't the same kids, they just couldn't be. It seemed impossible. How could they hate with such viciousness one day and then show such love and affection the next. She whispered the question to Ky.

"They are good kids, really," Ky said. His eyes were sad. "They've been living under an umbrella of fear for years now and they see death as inevitable. They don't think Harold can ever be stopped." He paused and grimaced. "I think most of them expect you to die and a lot of them secretly hope you do."