The Safe Bet (The Game Changers #3) (3 page)

“I texted from the mega mansion we just left.”

“Cool. Then I’m down. As long as I don’t have to say it out loud to anyone.”

I laughed. “Don’t worry, monster. I’ve got your back.”

I dropped her off, making sure she made it in the house okay and praying the big bad wolf in the truck behind me stayed put long enough for me not to have to kick his ass. Meyer gave one last curious look as she closed the front door. Thankfully, I had texted Zoe a warning, so she knew Meyer would be home. She would distract her right away from her troubles and my stalker. Not only had Zoe agreed to start movie time, but she also promised to rid the estrogen-filled family room of Jordan and his testosterone. Hopefully he understood, but Jordan wasn’t known for being the most perceptive one in the house.

The door to the house had hardly shut before the door to my car flew open. My foot didn’t even have a chance to transition from break to gas.

“Who was that?” Brock growled.

I turned to look him in the eye with the angriest glare I could muster for someone who was a foot away from the man who held her heart ten years ago and had yet to meet someone who could even slightly compare. He once made me the happiest girl in the world but that was then. I hated that the excitement I felt around him had never dissipated. After I had spent the last decade avoiding intense feelings, the flock of butterflies in my stomach was altogether unpleasant when mixed with the fear and hurt that time was supposed to cure.

“Get out of my car.” I sounded a lot stronger than I felt.

“It’s a nice car…like a tank. What does your mom think of it?”

I drove a black Hummer. It was awesome, but my mom was of the opinion that it was silly to buy such an environmentally unfriendly car. “She thinks I’m solely responsible for global warming.”

“You could run someone over in that thing.”

“Not when I drive like a grandma.”

“Since when?” he snorted. That joke would never be funny.

“You done?” I asked, ignoring his comment about how I used to drive. He hadn’t ridden with me in a long time…since before…

“Who is she, Rea?”

I didn’t respond to what sounded like an accusation. Instead, I just waited for him to exit the vehicle.

“You’re not going to answer? Okay. Here’s what I know. She looks just like you. She’s probably a little older than we were when we met, which coincidentally is about the same amount of time since you disappeared. Seeing her is like déjà vu. So tell me, Rea, is she the reason you stayed away for so long?”

Of course he thought the worst. He really believed Meyer was a secret I kept all this time. Hurt tore through me, but I gave him the truth in words laced with spite. “Yes,” I choked out the lie, then gained control of my voice. “She’s the reason I stayed away. Now, get the fuck out of my car.”

Silence stretched between us for what seemed like minutes, but the clock didn’t move while I watched the bluish or maybe greenish numbers light up the car. What was that color? Was it considered blue or green?

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me, so you might as well drive to wherever you were headed,” Brock said as he buckled his seatbelt.

My body was strung tight, and I felt like I was going to explode at any second. Why, why, why wouldn’t he just leave me alone?

Still parked in my spot, I white-knuckled the steering wheel. “She’s not yours, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s not what I was thinking. She’s just…it’s like you were cloned.”

“She’s Jordan’s daughter. That’s Meyer. I’m sure he’s told you about her. Now, will you leave me alone now?” I hated how I suddenly sounded weak. Only he had this kind of power over me.

“We don’t have to be enemies. Just tell me what I did to make you never want to see me again, because for the life of me I can’t figure it out.”

When I didn’t answer, he let out a frustrated sigh. Yeah? I know the feeling. I was frustrated with myself as well. I had been for a long time, and I didn’t see any relief in my future.

“I can’t forget about you, Reagan. If I could, I would have already.” Then he climbed out of my car. Seconds later his truck roared past me, and I was left feeling like I had lost him all over again. Maybe I lost a piece of myself this time. I couldn’t be sure, but I knew something was definitely broken inside of me.

Later that night, long after I had locked myself away from Brock and Jordan and the drama, the memories returned. I knew it was only a matter of time before the nightmares took over.

Chapter Five

September 2008

I saw him on a Saturday. He was just like I remembered. Maybe he had a few more tattoos, but otherwise he looked exactly the same. He approached me with his signature smirk firmly in place and a walk that spoke of his confidence. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t little Reagan Anders.”

“Adam!” I quickly closed the last of the distance between us and gave him a hug, forgetting for a moment that anyone from high school was an unwelcome sight. Adam was the kind of guy who made you forget your troubles. He was just Adam. He had always been different, the nice guy, the one who put everyone else before him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m visiting my mom. Seattle is in between us, so it’s easier to meet here for a short visit. What about you?” I didn’t want to tell him more on the off chance he would speak to others, one person in particular. I was still in the avoiding stage, and by avoiding Brock, I had to avoid everything else associated with him.

“I have a bar close to Pike’s Place called Hank’s. I just inherited it and plan to renovate it as soon as I can. Come by and have a drink sometime.”

The news that he ran a bar had me pausing my escape. “What happened to painting?”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t always pay the bills. There’s a mural at the bar.” Adam lifted a hand to scratch his jaw then added, “You should really come by, Rea.”

Rea. He called me the nickname Brock used to call me. There’s no way Adam could know what happened. He wasn’t there. Sure, he and Brock were friends at one time and might still be, but Brock was never one to hold deep conversations with anyone…well, anyone but me.

I shook my head, trying to escape the memories. This was what I had been trying to evade. Even after all these years, thinking about Brock still pierced my heart in the most unpleasant way. It seemed it didn’t matter how much time passed, the mere mention of his name caused a physical reaction so automatic that no amount of self-help books or psychology classes could make it stop. The churning sensation I was feeling paired with a dry mouth that made it difficult to swallow was only the beginning. I had been through all the defense mechanisms: denial, repression, regression, displacement, projection, reaction formation, intellectualization, rationalization, and now sublimation. I had been moving on with life. Now, it seemed Adam was forcing me to head right back into denial with one conversation.

“Reagan?” Adam said my name again with a worried expression that made me feel guilty for ignoring someone who was once a really good friend.

“Yeah, I’ll stop by.” I didn’t know why I agreed. There had always been something about Adam. I was never attracted to him, but he had a way of suckering me in. The boy gave good woo.

“That’s all I ask.” Adam wrapped me in his arms. The hug was oddly comforting, considering I hadn’t been really hugged by a man in…too long. No need to put a time on that in particular, but that hug was the reason I showed up at the bar. That and the promise. I make an effort to keep my promises. Being let down too many times by someone who doesn’t keep his word will do that to you.

A crowded bar had never been my idea of a good time. Too many drunkards made me nervous, but tonight my anxiety stemmed from more than just the possibility of an out-of-control crowd. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that immersing myself in Adam’s world came at a huge risk.

I stepped through the door and found a sea of people already there even though it wasn’t that late. The bar was dingy, like he mentioned. I could immediately see why he wanted to renovate the place. Instead of continuing to stand around and take in the poorly kept building, I headed straight to the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender was wild and obnoxious looking, and I immediately liked her style. I never had the guts to dye my hair or wear revealing clothes like she did. Her confidence was apparent, making me immediately respect her and maybe even envy her a bit.

She slid my beer across the scratched wood surface and moved on to the next customer without batting an eye. I sipped delicately, still taking in everything when my name was shouted over the roar of the music.

“Reagan!” I turned to find Adam smiling and making his way through the crowd toward me. “You came.” He greeted with a hug.

“I told you I would.”

“I figured you were only saying that to get away from me.”

Hmm…perceptive man, aren’t you, Adam?

“Honestly, I considered it,” I admitted. “Cool place.”

“It will be, but it’s nice of you to say that. We are going to re-do all the woodwork and build a stage over there. I want to change the lighting and make it less biker bar and more upscale to pull in a younger crowd.”

“We?” I foolishly asked.

“Yeah, um…” He looked over my shoulder, so I turned and came face to face with my past, the very one I had been trying to avoid since he broke my heart. He was smiling down at a beautiful blonde and then he kissed her in a way that was not really appropriate for public consumption. Of course he had a girl. He always had someone. My foolish heart jumped up in my throat. How could it still hurt to see him with someone else?

I wished I could say I was surprised to see that he was with a girl, but why would I be? Blondes were his type. The only consolation was that when he turned our way, he looked just as surprised to see me, judging by the dumbfounded expression on his face. I was sure mine matched his as I worked to school it into a bored one instead. My muscles refused to cooperate at first because my whole body had gone into some kind of shock. I feared my face was giving away my fear and discomfort, so I quickly turned back to Adam.

“Maybe you should go say hi,” he said with a sympathetic tone. Clearly he knew more than he had originally let on. This had been a setup.

I was considering punching Adam in the stomach just to let out some of the boiling emotion, but I refrained. Instead of acting on impulse, training told me to turn the other direction. I ended up marching right out of the bar and was heading up the sidewalk to where my car was parked when he called my name.

“Reagan.” I kept walking, knowing exactly whose voice that was. “Reagan, stop!”

My body halted its movement, and no matter how many times I told them to go, my legs refused. I heard him approach until he was standing directly behind me. Every nerve in me felt his presence. I couldn’t believe the electricity was still between us. It was the same as before but maybe stronger since I hadn’t experienced anything like it since the last time he held me.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was brusque and filled with anger. He was working to control it like I would if I spoke.

“Damn it, Reagan. Speak!”

White-hot rage tore through me when he treated me like I was a dog. This I could control. I swallowed the fire down into the pits of my belly and hid it with a calm façade.

I didn’t know what I was going to say. It wasn’t like I planned it. My pride was the last thing I had to myself, though, so when I turned and faced him, I didn’t crack under the pressure of seeing his gorgeous face marred by anger that was clearly directed toward me. His eyes bored into me, looking for answers. His jaw was tight and neck was flexed. Everything about him was on the offensive. Well, join the club, buddy!

“When I was eight years old,” I began, “my parents took me to Disneyland. It was right before school started, days before I met you.” I paused to catch my breath, wondering why I thought of this moment to tell Brock what I needed to say. “We rode this little boat ride. It plays this annoying song over and over. That’s where he told me he was leaving us. He said he loved me and wanted me, but he said the world was small and people who were meant to be in our lives would show up again.”

Brock looked as confused as I felt. He remained silent but nodded, prompting me to go on.

“I thought I understood then what he meant, what the silly song was telling us, but no. It wasn’t until this moment that I had some real clarity. It really is a small world. I hoped I could escape you, but I should have known that there would be no end to the torture. Maybe you’re meant to be in my life, but until today I held out hope that this would never happen.”

I turned and continued toward my car, but his hand grabbed my arm before I could get too far. My lungs refused to fill with air, and my heart pounded wildly. How he could cause such a reaction from me was beyond comprehension. No man had ever made me feel anything but bored. Brock could have me on my knees with one look, and I never understood it. How, after so long, could he still make me feel so much?

“Stop, Reagan. You can’t just walk away.”

“Watch me,” I gritted out, and I tried to free my arm from his iron grip.

“No. You had your say. It’s my turn.”

Before he could say another word, I stepped closer to him and looked him dead in the eye. In a low voice, I said, “Let. Me. Go.” His eyes flicked between mine once, then twice, before his hand loosened on my arm. Before he could say another word, I turned on my heel and ran as quickly as I could to my car. Once I was there and enclosed in the safety of its cocoon, I let myself break, but I didn’t cry. There were no tears that night. Instead, I allowed myself to succumb to the lack of sensation that would keep me protected.