The Santini Collection 1-4 (43 page)

He shook his head. “You’re not like that, Jules.”

“
At one time, maybe not. I’m not that girl anymore, Vince. Don’t look at me like I’m lying to you. Marriage…I just wasn’t made for it. I can’t do it again.”

He cupped her face. “You’re wrong, Jules. That girl is still in there. I feel her every time I kiss you, every time I take you to bed. She’s there. You just have to stop being scared.”

“
I’m not scared. Not of you. God, Vince, you make me feel safe just by being in the same room.”
And complete
. She had never felt like that with Mike and that was sad. “I just don’t know if I can accept marriage again. I don’t know if I’m made to be a Marine wife.”

“
His failures had nothing to do with you.” She opened her mouth, but he shook his head. “No. Don’t argue with me now. I love you. I fell in love with you when I was seventeen and didn’t know what the hell love was. You’ve always been the woman for me. You just accept I’m here for keeps. You don’t have to marry me, but you have to give me the right to at least try and change your mind.”

“
You won’t push me?”

He smiled and her heart squeezed tight. “I didn’t say that. But, I will give you space. You can trust me.”

“
I told you I trust you. I just…I don’t trust myself.”

He nodded and brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “Think about it, Jules. I’m here for the long haul even if you don’t ever want to get married. Don’t push me away because of what that bastard did to you. We both deserve better. I’ll wait even if the day never comes.”

He kissed her, just a quick peck then he stepped back and left her alone. She sat down at her kitchen table. Suddenly, she was crying again. She laid her head on the table and decided for once to give into the pity.

Chapter Nine

“
There you are, Jules,” Joey said. Jules would have groaned if she were alone. Which made no sense because she couldn’t be alone and be discovered by Joey.

She looked up and found Vince’s mother standing in the doorway. Monday did suck. It sucked bad.

“
Here I am. Dealing with the books. Again. I need to hire someone.”

“
I agree. I think I should send Stewart over to help. He has an MBA.”

It took a second for her to link Stewart with Mr. Santini. It was just hard to see him as anything but Papa Santini.

“
Yeah. But isn’t he retired?”

“
Yes, and I’m glad for it, but he needs something to keep him busy. It’s that or I might have to stab him. We need our space every now and then.”

Then silence.

“
Was there something you needed?” she asked, afraid of the answer. She knew Vince wouldn’t tell tales. But if Joey sensed someone had hurt her baby boy, she might be mean. Jules didn’t have it in her to fight his mother right now.

“
Do you mind if I sit down?”

She shook her head. Joey shut the office door and settled in the chair in front of the desk.

“
I never asked you about your marriage.”

And she had been grateful for that. “No. You haven’t.”

She held up her hand. “I would never invade your privacy. I just know it wasn’t good.”

She said nothing. Everyone knew something horrible had happened so there was no need to deny it.

“
I know a survivor of violence when I see one. Before I met Stewart I dealt with it.”

“
You? I find that hard to believe.” And it was. Joey was a strong confident woman. She was terrifying in a good way.

“
I was. In high school, I was kind of an art nerd.” She chuckled. “I still am. Anyway, right after high school, that summer, the captain of the football team asked me out. I was thrilled. I didn’t date much in high school because boys, well they rarely looked at me. So here was the most popular guy in school asking me out. It was so stereotypical that it almost hurts to think how I believed he really liked me.” She sighed and for once, Jules saw the vulnerable woman beneath that steel surface. “It was horrible. There wasn’t a name for it at the time, but today they call it date rape.”

“
Oh, I’m sorry.”

“
Don’t be. You did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. It was that bastard.” She smiled at Jules. “It took me a couple years of therapy to be able to say that and meant it. But, I couldn’t stay close to home. Those days it was impossible to even think about going to the police about something like that. I lived in a small town and I would run into him every now and then.”

“
How horrible.”

“
I agree. That’s how I ended up across the country waiting on tables instead of in college studying art.”

“
And you met Mr. Santini.”

She chuckled. “I wanted nothing to do with men, but well, you know Santinis.”

“
Yeah. I do.”

“
I know you do.”

“
But, I wasn’t raped.”

“
No. You weren’t. But rape is violence. Someone has power over you. What you have to decide is if that is going to rule your life now?”

She didn’t know what to say so she nodded.

“
I think now if I hadn’t met Stewart and he wasn’t so hard headed, I wouldn’t have had the most wonderful life. All my boys.” She smiled. “I can’t think of what life would be without them.”

Jules smiled. “How did Mr. Santini snag you?”

Joey shook her head. “That’s a story for another time. Just remember to have more faith in yourself.”

“
I do. To a point. It’s hard.”

The narrowed look Joey gave her was enough to scare her. “I love my boys. But believe me, I know what a pain in the ass each of them can be. Vince is so like his father it is scary. They get their head set on some task and they won’t let it go. I know my baby boy and know he loves you. I know you love him. It’s written all over your face. Still, don’t put up with any of his crap. Swear to God every one of them think they know best. Also remember, whatever Vince does, he does out of love for you.”

Jules blinked against the tears burning the backs of her eyes. “Thank you, Joey.”

Joey gave her a blinding smile. She had seen it before. Whenever Joey flashed it at Mr. Santini, he melted like butter for her.

“
Now, I like those little purple leaf things you put in Vince’s backyard. I want some.”

“
You know you can just break off some of them from Vince’s?”

Joey shook her head. “First, that’s not good business. Second, he isn’t answering my phone calls.”

“
Oh, but he and I…” then she trailed off realizing that Vince had been avoiding his mother but spending his time talking to Jules on the phone.

“
That’s fine, Jules. As long as he’s talking to someone, I’m fine with that. For now. Well, for another day or two. After that, I’ll send Stewart. Let’s get some purple thingies.”

She nodded pushing her concerns aside for the moment, but Joey had definitely given her a lot to think about.

* * * *

“
So, you’ve decided to hide out here,” his father said walking into his garage. Vince looked over his shoulder and stifled the sigh. He should have known his mother would send his father over to check on him.

“
I’ve been busy the last few days.”

He grabbed a cloth and rose, wiping the grease from his hands. He’d done just about anything to keep himself busy the last two days. He’d given Jules space, but they had talked the last couple nights. It had been almost as if they were in high school on the phone for hours at a time with nothing much to say. Hell, they had watched an episode of NCIS together on the phone.

“
She’s worried you and Jules had a fight.”

Vince shook his head. “We had a difference of opinion, not a fight.”

His father chuckled. “Yeah, your mother and I have those. She’s a little more…expressive in her irritation than I think Jules would be.”

His father had settled on the workbench, so Vince figured he was stuck talking to him. He was still a little too raw, but he knew better than tell his father to leave him alone. Instead, Vince opened the small refrigerator he kept in the garage and grabbed a couple of beers.

“
Thanks,” his father said, twisting off the top and taking a long drink. All the while he kept his gaze on Vince.

“
You need to talk about it, son, or it’s going to tear you up.”

“
Jules told me some pretty horrible things.”

His father nodded. “About Mike I take it?”

“
You knew?”

He shook his head. “No. Both your mother and I suspected and when her mother Margerie called your mother out of the blue and asked her to check on Jules, we knew something went on. When Jules first moved back, she was wounded. It was easy to see. All we knew was that they were getting divorced then he was dead. Plus, she said things that were odd.”

“
Like what?”

“
Your mother asked her how she liked living here and she said it was wonderful and she felt safe.”

“
So?”

“
Safe isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when talking about moving back. It was just an odd way of phrasing it.” He shrugged. “Her mother’s concern on top of that had your mother thinking she was hurt in some way.”

He nodded. They had talked about it. He told her that he accepted it, accepted what she had been through.

“
Jesse knows.”

“
Johnson? Interesting.”

“
Apparently, he’s the one who took her to the hospital the first time.”

His father shook his head. “And she lost count after that?”

“
No, that’s the worst part of the story. One slap, one beating, and she left. Filed charges, filed for divorce.”

“
Always said that girl had a good head on her shoulders. I never understood what she saw in Mike.”

He glanced at his father. “What do you mean?”

Regret moved over his features. “Mike was a user. Always was. I know you were close friends with him, but there was something bad in him. He had a temper and let’s face it, your friendship fell apart when you left for Annapolis.”

“
And he didn’t get in.”

“
Yeah, he was pissed.” He took another drink. “What happened?”

“
What?”

“
What else happened?’

He sighed. “Mike got out on bail and found her. He almost killed her.”

“
Damn shame he died in a wreck.”

“
Yeah, I would like to kill him all over again.” He shook his head. “How is it I didn’t know him at all?”

“
You did. If you had wanted to stay friends with him, you would have known what was going on.”

He shook his head. “That didn’t have to do with Mike.”

“
No, it had to do with Jules.” He glanced at his father who shrugged again. “We all know you were in hung up on her.”

“
I told her I loved her the day they got married.”

His father chuckled. “Son, you have horrendous timing. If you weren’t the spitting image of me, I would say you weren’t a Santini.”

He smiled. “Yeah. Well, she said nothing and that was the end of it.”

“
Until now. What are you doing moping around here?”

“
She won’t get married.” It hurt to think about it, but it hurt to admit that she would marry Mike and not him.