The Scent of Lilac: An Arrow's Flight Novella (9 page)

           
I take
him to the Pit before the sun can tattle on us. We only have to wait a short
time for the guard to make her rounds again before I leave him safe inside his
cave with a promise that I will return with the moon.

           
Safely
tucked into my hogan, I run the night’s events through my mind. I rub a loose
end of
Chad
’s knotted
token between my thumb and forefinger, and my heart swells just before I drift
off to sleep.

or three weeks we keep up this charade. I’m careful—more
careful than I’ve ever been in my life. Nobody knows that I spend every single
night at the Pit. When morning comes, I step out of my hogan and help myself to
the porridge like the others. And for a time, I truly believe this life could
continue without interruption.
 

           
No
breeder has been assigned to
Chad
,
and soon, I begin to wonder if the Council has changed its mind. I would not
lose an ounce of sleep over that decision.
 

           
Every
day, more jailers return to their posts, and the Pit begins to function as it
once did. I still bring
Chad
the leftovers from my dinner every night, careful to take back any dishes I
bring along. We don’t venture to the river again. We will do nothing that might
jeopardize our time together.

           
I cherish
every precious moment I have with him, and in our limited fashion, we begin to
build our own little world of memories. And one night, those memories begin to
involve the tiny life inside me.

           
I lie on
my back next to
Chad
.
He’s propped on his side, and he reaches out and lays his hand over the very
slight bump that has begun to protrude from my belly.

           
“When
he’s born, will you bring him here?” he asks.

           
“Yes.” I
smile, and then I check him. “He?”

           
He shrugs
.
“Or she. I don’t really care as long as I get to
see her.” He pauses. “I’ve never seen a baby that I can recall.”

           
I lay my
hand on top of his. “You’ll see this one,” I promise.

           
It
strikes me quite suddenly that this is our baby. We did this, and just as Diana
held Tabitha in her arms, there will come a day when I will hold this little
life in the same way.

           
Tabitha
had Diana’s blue eyes and blonde curls. And what of my baby? If it is a boy,
will he have
Chad
’s
dusty hair and crooked smile? Will our girl carry my bronzed skin and height?
Or will the child be a combination of both of our best features?

           
Until
now, I’ve never pondered these things. It didn’t matter what features a child
had as long as the Council approved. They thoroughly examine each baby, and the
lucky ones receive a nod of approval.
 

           
Chad
brushes his fingers across my stomach, and I meet his hand in the middle. I
suddenly want the mark of approval more than I can express. Something else
nudges me, too. A small pinch of dangerous desire—to keep this baby with me
forever. I swallow, hoping it goes away.

           
I toy
with
Chad
’s
token tied around my thumb, an uneasiness overtaking me. This child has become
something more, and the idea of weaning it and simply passing it on to the
nursery—something I have been prepared to do all my life—suddenly seems so
distasteful.
 

           
I can’t
think about it. Instead, I let myself envision the three of us snuggled
together inside the cave or enjoying the sunshine by the river—
Chad
and I raising our child together. Kate talked about this, too. Family. I
shunned her, then. Now, I only wish she was here to make it happen.

           
I sigh,
long and heavy.

           
“What is
it?”
Chad
asks.

           
“Nothing,”
I shake my head. “Life is just so… complicated.”

           
“Not in
here,” he whispers, and I laugh.

           
“Not in
here,” I repeat. I brush my fingers across his lips. “You know that feeling in
your chest?”

           
“Yes.”

           
“I think
it’s called…” I take a deep breath, and a fist tightens over my chest. “Love.”

           
His
breathing steadies beside me.

           
“I love
you,
Chad
.”

           
After
this, he nuzzles into my neck, his whiskers tickling my skin. “I knew that even
before you did.”

           
I smile.
And I believe him.

*

       
   
I’ve barely stepped out of my hogan the next
morning before Ash comes storming up to me, flanked by three council members…
and Daija.

           
“You!”
she screeches, wagging a slender finger in my face. Stunned, I slide back a
pace. “What did you do to that dog?”
       

           
She
shoves a stringy strand of her straight, blonde hair out of her face, her blue
eyes fuming, while I try to make sense of her outrage. And then, the truth hits
me in the gut. My entire body goes numb.

           
They’ve
paired
Chad
with Ash.

           
The shock
of this revelation sends my heart to beating rapidly against my chest, and I take
in a sharp breath. I clutch my stomach, feel the comforting swelling of my
abdomen, but even this doesn’t soothe me.

           
“Well?”
Her voice is sharp, clipping at me. “What do you have to say? No amount of
beating bent his behavior.”

           
“You hit
him?” I narrow my eyes.

           
“Mia.”

           
I turn.
It’s only then that I notice Leah among the three council members. She
stretches her hand. “Come with me. We should talk.”

           
“Talk?”
Ash hisses. “She deserves a lashing for this.”

           
“That’s
enough, Ash,” Leah reprimands, and Ash begrudgingly falls into silence.

           
Numbly, I
move forward. Daija sneers, a satisfied gleam in her eye. She steps up to stand
beside Ash and whispers—loud enough for me to hear—that I’ll be dead before
sundown. Ash’s lip curls into a sneer, and they stand shoulder to shoulder in a
united front. Daija laughs, and I long to slap the smug look right off her
face.

           
“Don’t
you have a boar to skin or something?” I snap. She doesn’t move, but her eyes
narrow fiercely.

           
“Come,
Mia,” Leah takes my elbow firmly. She addresses the other two council members.
“I’ll handle this.” She offers me a gentle smile. “Mia and I have a special
understanding.”

           
They each
nod and leave to tend to other business. Leah keeps a firm almost painful, hold
on me, moving rapidly up the path toward the Great Hall. The women congregating
outside of their hogans watch us curiously, but I keep my eyes forward.

           
I’m in
serious trouble I fear.
   

           
Leah
takes me to a private room inside the Great Hall. My knees suddenly weak, I
sink onto a stool. I’m shaking terribly. She pours me a cup of water from a
pitcher on a corner table. I take it with trembling hands and gulp every bit
down without a pause, mostly to stall the inevitable. She situates a stool in
front of me and sits.

           
“Would
you like to tell me anything?”

           
I clutch
the cup. “Not particularly.”

           
Leah
frowns. “This won’t go away, Mia. Your mate has refused an assignment, and we
cannot stand for—”

           
“Why
Ash?” I blurt, and I can’t hide the desperation from my voice. “Why does it
have to be her?”

           
Leah,
taken aback by my sudden outburst, leans away slightly, and her words are crisp
and precise like long blades of pointy grass when she answers.

           
“It
doesn’t matter who it is, Mia. Unruly stock are not spared.”

           
And just
like that, I’m broken. The cup clunks to the floor, and I burst into tears.
Leah raises her brows.

           
“Pull
yourself together, girl.”

           
“Please,
Leah,” I blubber horribly, my words muddled with tears. “Don’t hurt him. I’ll
talk to him.” I grab for her hands in desperation. “I’ll make him comply. Just…
don’t hurt him.”

           
Leah
stares at me a long minute—processing. When she frees herself from my grip and
stands briskly, I fear I’ve lost her trust in me completely. She crosses one
arm over her chest, hooking her fingers into the crook of the opposite elbow,
and she tugs on her lip nervously.

           
As for
me, I’m ripped into two halves as my loyalty to the Village plays a dangerous
tug-of-war with my sudden and strong instincts to protect
Chad
to the death. And the thought of death only prompts another wave of relentless
sobbing as Leah paces the floor. Finally, she stops abruptly.

           
“What
have you done, Mia?” Her voice drips with sheer concern, and I can tell from
her tone that she’s on the verge of tears herself, which only makes my betrayal
sting deeper. “I have always favored you for your faithful compliance in every
situation. I’ve often said to the others that a village full of Mias would be a
blessing, and they’ve agreed. But now this?” She rubs at her forehead in exasperation.
“We’ve just begun to get the Village somewhat under control. We don’t need more
trouble.”

           
My sobs
have turned to gulping sniffles, and I nod furiously at her every word, so
ashamed of my conduct. I don’t dare raise my eyes, keeping them dutifully
pinned to the floor in utter respect. Leah sighs heavily and settles onto the
stool, taking up my hands. Her fingers brush over
Chad
’s
token. She lifts my hand to examine it with a frown, but to my relief, she
leaves it be.

           
“So what
are we to do?” she asks. “How do we correct this?”

           
“Let me
talk to him,” I beg. Raising my head, I catch a glimpse of tenderness echoing
cautiously in her eyes, and so I press her. “Please. He will listen to me.”

           
She
reaches over and runs a thumb across my tear-stained cheek, wiping it clean.

           
“How long
have you been conversing with your mate?”

           
I
swallow. “A while.”

           
“You gave
him your name?”

           
I nod.

           
“And he?”

           
I nod
again. “He gave me his name.”

           
“And how
much time have you spent at the Pit in the last few weeks?” When I don’t
answer, Leah straightens, her disappointment evident in the shift of her
shoulders.

           
“Well,
this is not acceptable.” My only answer is a dribble of a tear racing over my
cheekbone. Her eyes soften, as does her voice. “This is a very dangerous path
you walk, Mia.”

           
“I know.”
I sniffle once and loudly. “But you were not a breeder, Leah. You couldn’t possibly
understand how things are for us.”

           
“Then
enlighten me,” she says sharply. “Because I’m afraid I can’t help you, Mia.
   
The Council will certainly not understand
this.”

           
I raise
my hands pleadingly. “The Council has to expect that these things can happen.
Week after week I’ve gone to the Pit—for months. And what of Kate’s speech? You
yourself said—”

           
“Stop.”
She cuts me off. I bite my lip, and exasperated, she rubs at her temples. “Now
I agree with Kate’s notion that… perhaps we should have a choice. Would I like
to see some changes? Yes.” She peers at me. “But this does not mean that every
aspect of the Village should be altered. And so, yes, week after week, you go
to the Pit, and you should have one focus. It should not be to bond with a dog.
Do you understand my meaning, girl?”

           
A puff of
breath escapes me. I see then. Leah is afraid for the Council to know her mind.
My shoulders sink.

           
“I understand.
But sometimes—”

           
She lifts
a brow. “Sometimes?”

           
“Sometimes…
a heart can’t be stopped.”

           
“Well,
you’d best find a way.”

           
My lip
trembles. Leah presses her fingertips together end to end. Her eyes settle on
me briefly before she shakes her head and stands, wringing her hands.

           
“I know I
must sound harsh, and after what I said before—”

           
I raise
my eyes expectantly.

           
“It just
isn’t safe for you to violate so openly. Not now when we are on the verge of
falling apart.”

           
“I
understand,” I sniffle. “What will you do? Are you going to tell the Council?”

           
She’s
quiet a moment.