The Sea Garden (10 page)

Gemma stops the car on the open moorland between Horrabridge and Walkhampton and gets out. Now that she has left, and Guy is on his own, what if Mark is able to influence him even more strongly; what if he persuades Guy that he is in the right, that he must not allow himself to be blackmailed? The conversation with Kate has made her a bit shaky, though Kate was understanding.

‘I'm really sorry, Kate,' she said. ‘I really, really tried. I promise. But I still love him and I want him back. I have to take this huge risk. Have I got it wrong?'

‘Probably not,' answered Kate. ‘If your instinct is telling you to do this then it's probably right.'

‘It's head and heart, isn't it?' Gemma said anxiously. ‘It seems absolutely right one minute and then I have the mother and father of a panic attack the next.'

‘It's a bit late for that,' said Kate drily. ‘So let's hope you have very good instincts, darling.'

Gemma's having one of those panic attacks right now. The cool little breeze fans her hot cheeks and she takes slow breaths. The deep rural silence washes over her, calming her, and she can see the square tower of Walkhampton church amongst the trees. It looks solid and reassuring; like a rock. Gemma feels she might burst into tears. She's between a rock and a hard place: the slow disintegration of her family or divorce.

She gets back into the car and heads for the Rectory with dread in her heart. Everyone's being so tactful and discreet, it's humiliating. Even Pa is restraining himself. She can actually see the effort he's making and she just can't quite bring herself to explain about the ultimatum. Not just yet. Ma's OK, but Gemma feels a bit like a bone between the two of them. Pa wants everything cut and dried, and then she says things she doesn't mean and commits to things she's not ready for simply to shut him up. Ma comes to her defence, which generally leads to a row. She doesn't want it to be a big thing with the boys, and she's praying her gamble comes off before any damage is done. They're too young to know anything's really wrong and they believe that they've come back to live here and Daddy will follow as soon as he can.

She tries not to imagine a conversation in which she has to tell them that Daddy isn't coming back, and she thinks again about Kate and how she must be feeling; after all, Guy is her son. It was clear while they were talking that she was remembering her own relationship with Mark and trying hard to be fair about it all – but Guy is not Mark. Suddenly Gemma's longing for Guy is intense; tears sting her eyes, but she braces herself. The twins will be waiting for her and she must be strong and cheerful.

*   *   *

From the landing window Cass watches Gemma drive in and park the car on the gravel. She stands for a moment, head bent as if she has forgotten something, but Cass knows that she is bracing herself and she wonders how the meeting with Kate has gone. Gemma turns, swinging her bag over her shoulder, hurries towards the house and is lost to sight below the window.

Cass stands still, listening to the voices of the twins greeting Gemma in the kitchen and Gemma's cheerful reply. She wonders, not for the first time, why Gemma fell in love with Guy; why such a light-hearted, flirtatious girl should be attracted to a man who is so contained, so unknowable.

‘There's much more to Guy than what
you
get to see.' Gemma had said once. ‘That's why I love him. He's got something really special and it's all for me.'

Well, that's probably true; there is an integrity about Guy, a single-mindedness, which makes it all the more praiseworthy that he was prepared to forgive Gemma her faithlessness and give the marriage another go. Even so … Cass folds her arms, leans forward to rest her forehead against the cool glass. What Gemma has told her makes her afraid: afraid that as he grows older Guy might harden into his father's mould.

She is glad that Gemma and the twins are home, away from Mark's influence, and she will do everything in her power to keep them here. Those little boys are so precious to her, so dear, that she cannot bear to think of them exposed to Mark's acid tongue and contemptuous glances. Guy, on the other hand, clearly adores his sons, and they him, so perhaps she is foolish to be so fearful.

All will be well now: they are home, safe, and if Guy returns then that will be good, and if not … Cass thinks of Kate and her heart aches. Kate is too honest to condemn Gemma for feeling about Guy as she once felt about Mark, but the truth is plain: if Gemma had not played around they'd all still be living happily in South Brent.

Cass straightens up, turns from the window as if escaping from something she no longer wishes to see, but the old familiar anguish grips her heart. Had she not been faithless all those years ago Charlotte, her first-born and Tom's favourite, would still be alive. Even now Cass cringes away from a vision of Charlotte watching, listening, gradually piecing together the unpalatable truth. And the terrible irony was that when at last Charlotte made her move, the affair was over. Charlotte's accusations involved other people and precipitated a terrible tragedy – even now Cass can hear the recriminatory words she screamed at her daughter – and then Charlotte, still in shock, saddled up and rode out on her pony, riding to her death. She was fifteen …

The twins come racing out of the kitchen. ‘Granny,' they shout. ‘Granny, where are you?' and Cass switches her mind away from these thoughts and hurries thankfully down to join them.

*   *   *

‘But the fact remains,' says Kate to Jess later as they sit in front of the fire, ‘that part of me still feels very slightly resentful. Cass has always been able to disarm me, and Gemma is exactly the same.'

Kate was struck, during that conversation, by Gemma's resemblance to Cass and to Oliver, with her long blonde hair swept up into a knot, her blue eyes anxious. Once again the ghosts edged closer: Kate remembered the delightful baby Gemma in her pram, the pretty schoolgirl, the beautiful young bride and, last, the extremely attractive woman who was watching her over the rim of her coffee cup.

‘Honestly, Kate,' Gemma had said, ‘I had to do something. Mark is impossible and Guy just grows more silent and more unapproachable.
You
know!'

And Kate agreed; yes, she knows about that invisible barrier, which blocks any attempt at communication, the chill atmosphere and the numbing lack of physical affection.

‘Oh, I know what Guy can be like,' Kate says now to Jess. ‘And I know it's not always easy for someone like Gemma to cope with that unemotional, rather austere kind of character, but they've known each other all their lives so it's no good complaining about it at this late date.'

‘How weird that must be,' says Jess, curled up at the other end of the sofa. She's fascinated by this new angle of the story. ‘Were you pleased when they got married?'

‘Yes,' says Kate, trying to remember. ‘Yes, I was, because they seemed to be so much in love, but I was a bit anxious because they are so completely different.' She hesitates, wondering how much she ought to tell Jess; how far she can go without being disloyal.

‘You might as well tell her,' Gemma had said. ‘She's going to be around for a while so it's easier for everyone, isn't it?'

‘It's odd to think,' says Jess, ‘that if Juliet and Mike hadn't gone to Australia I might have been part of all this. Daddy might have gone to school with Oliver and Guy.'

‘Your father must have married very young,' says Kate.

Jess nods. ‘He was twenty-two. I think it was because he was on his own over here and he wanted to have his own special person. Mum's parents had died in a car crash when she was quite young and they were a bit “babes in the wood” together, if you know what I mean. They looked after each other, though they were both quite strong people, and we had army friends, of course. But when Daddy was killed and Mum went off to Brussels all that fell apart. I think this is why it's so fascinating hearing all this stuff. It's like I'm being given a family again.'

‘We haven't talked much about Juliet and Mike, though we probably will when we go to lunch with the Trehearnes. Johnnie knew Mike very well. Didn't Tom say that Juliet and Mike met at one of the Trehearnes' parties? You'll love the house. It's on the River Tamar, and the views are spectacular. In the summer they used to hold the parties outside in the sea garden.'

‘The sea garden? What's a sea garden?'

‘It used to be an old quay built up above the saltings. Now it's grassed over, with a wonderful curving stone balustrade around the edge of the lawn, and the most amazing old ship's figurehead, Circe. She looks downriver towards Plymouth and the sea. The Trehearnes' ancestors were traders and in the old days the ships used to come right upriver. Circe was taken from one of them and she's simply magnificent. The legend has it that the sea garden was built by one old chap when he could no longer go to sea so that he could go out and stare down the river and listen to the gulls and watch the tide come sweeping up over the mudflats.'

Jess tries to imagine it. ‘And is that where Juliet and Mike met?' She has a sudden vision of pretty girls in long dresses and handsome men in uniform moving in the sea garden; lights are strung above the balustrade and gleam on the dark water in the gathering dusk. She blinks, surprised at such a vivid mental picture.

‘That's what Tom says.' Kate notices that Jess says ‘Juliet and Mike' not ‘Granny and Grandfather', as if she is seeing them now as the young couple they were then; as if she is in the story with them. ‘Tom served with Mike, so he must have got to know him pretty well, though Mike was a couple of years older than Tom.'

‘I wonder why they went to Australia,' says Jess rather wistfully.

‘Exchanges happened quite often back then,' Kate says. ‘Between us and Australia and Canada. Mark, my ex-husband, transferred to the Canadian Navy and then bought into a boatyard business when he retired from the service. Guy was doing yacht brokerage and delivery work over here, which is why he thought it might all work out when they moved to be with him.'

‘You must be pleased that they're back.'

‘I shall be happier when Guy's back, too. I can see why Gemma's given him the ultimatum but I hope she knows what she's doing.'

‘You're cross with her for taking the risk?'

‘I suppose I am, a bit,' admits Kate. ‘That's what I meant about feeling resentful. Gemma had been playing about, you see, and Guy found out and it all got rather unpleasant. He decided that he would join his father in Canada so as to make a clean break from the mess here and she must choose whether to go or end the marriage. Gemma agreed that it was a fair deal. It worked for a little while but Mark is showing no sign of passing the business over to Guy, which was the plan, but has been playing a rather heavy hand and allowing Guy no scope. Meanwhile, Guy has been growing disenchanted and grumpy and Gemma is missing her friends and family. She's tried to persuade Guy to come back and now she's given him this ultimatum. I can well imagine that between Mark and Guy she's had a tough time, especially now Mark has married again, but it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't played around in the first place.'

‘But did she play around because she was … well, bored with Guy?'

Kate sighs. ‘Gemma simply can't resist a flirtation. Cass used to be the same. They have a kind of blindness. They don't see it as cheating: simply as harmless fun. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that, though when Guy found out that she'd actually had an affair he was very understanding about it. He could see that Gemma had been left alone too much whilst he was at sea, and he was prepared to give the marriage another try. She certainly wanted to. That's why she was prepared to go to Canada. We were all gutted that they'd be so far away, of course, but that was Guy's condition at the time. Now it's Gemma calling the shots.'

‘Poor Kate. It's a bit tough on you, isn't it?'

‘It'll be tough on all of us if Gemma's misjudged Guy. This is a very flawed and damaged family you're taking on, Jess.'

‘That's why it feels so real,' says Jess contentedly.

*   *   *

‘Stop looking so hunted,' Oliver says. He pushes his sister's glass of wine a little closer to her. ‘There's nobody here we know. No one's going to pop up and question you.'

‘I know.' Gemma relaxes a little, picking up the glass, glancing round the bar of the little moorland pub. ‘But it's getting me down a tad. I just wish Pa would stop giving me little lectures about playing fair and about how it was all my fault in the first place. It makes me want to pack up and go somewhere else. I know he's right but I still think that this is the way I'm going to save our marriage.'

‘Then stay with it.' He drinks some water. ‘You know, they both played the field a bit, our dear parents, and I think Pa's frightened that you might lose something you love because you're not taking it seriously enough.'

She stares at him; gives a disbelieving little laugh. ‘What? Sorry, Ol. Have I missed a point or something? You sound like “Thought for the Day”. Anyway, what d'you mean “played the field”? After they were married? Come on.'

He hesitates. ‘OK then, but this is in absolute confidence.'

She pulls a face. ‘Good grief, Charlie Brown. OK. Cross my heart and hope to die.'

He smiles a little at the phrase from their childhood but quickly looks serious again; his gaze is inward, remembering.

‘I expect you don't remember much about Charlotte. She was about fifteen when she died and you were about six. Do you remember her?'

Gemma thinks about their older sister. She frowns, trying to separate true memory from stories and photographs. She shakes her head slowly.

‘It was such a long time ago,' she says. ‘I just have this feeling of a kind person.'