The Sea Garden (32 page)

Outside the window the snow whirls and dances. Kate finishes her coffee. She gets up, puts on her coat, and she and Flossie go out into the snow.

*   *   *

That evening she telephones Bruno.

‘So how is it?' he asks. ‘We're practically cut off. Rafe's managing to drive up the lane to the main road with the old Land Rover so he's getting supplies in. It's just so unheard of down here by the sea. Thank goodness we have an unending supply of logs. Are you appreciating the virtues of living in the town?'

She listens to his voice, missing him, thinking of the magical valley filled with snow.

‘I'm not sure,' she says. ‘It must be very beautiful down there at St Meriadoc.'

He is silent and she knows he is wondering what he should say to her: trying to second-guess her needs and motives. They have been so careful to give each other space, to make no demands.

‘Have you decided,' he asks now, ‘what you'll do for Christmas? You're definitely not going to Giles and Tessa?'

‘No,' she says. ‘After all, I've been to them for the last two years, and I think they might like a little break. They all came over last week and we exchanged presents and they've asked me for the New Year. I was hoping to do a pre-Christmas-run quickie but I'm not sure I'll get down to their cove now if it goes on like this.'

‘And Cass? She's invited you. And Guy will be home, and the twins.'

‘I know,' she says. ‘What about you?'

‘Well, I shall be here,' he says cheerfully. ‘Stuck on my rock, as usual. And it would be very good to have you here with me but I know how you feel about your family. How's Flossie?'

Kate knows that he's trying not to influence her; that he will never come between her and her sons and their families.

‘Flossie is fine,' she says. ‘She doesn't like the snow much. How about Nellie?'

She imagines the scene: Bruno on the sofa by the fire, legs stretched out, ankles crossed. Nellie will be curled up beside him, nose on tail.

‘Nellie is loving it,' he says. ‘We went up on the cliff earlier and she positively pranced along. She puts her nose down in the snow and then throws her head up and tosses it about rather like a water buffalo in a river. She's never seen snow before.'

Kate laughs. ‘I'd like to see that,' she says.

‘Well,' he says, ‘there's no reason why you shouldn't. The main roads are still open and Rafe's got the Land Rover. You only have to say the word.'

‘I know,' she says. ‘I just wish I knew what the word is, Bruno.'

‘The word is “love”,' he says lightly. ‘I shall be here, Kate. Just don't be anxious or feel guilty. Let me know what you're going to do. But the weather isn't going to get better, by the sounds of it. I hope Guy manages to get back in time.'

‘Yes,' she says. ‘So do I. Jess is coming tomorrow. Then I shall know a bit more.'

‘About what?'

‘About whether I continue to live here, or rent it out. She might help my decision-making process. After all, I did offer her the cottage as a bolt hole for a while, though she seems to have settled in very happily down on the Tamar. And yet I had such a strong instinct that the cottage was important. Everyone is assuming I shall stay here, of course, now that Guy's coming home and they'll be somewhere close at hand. Anyway, we'll see.'

‘It's easier if other people make your decisions for you,' he says, ‘but not so life-affirming as making them for yourself.'

*   *   *

As soon as she sees Jess Kate knows that something extraordinary has happened. She can barely get through the door before she starts into her story. As the names tumble out – Juliet and Mike, Al and Freddy – Kate grows more and more bewildered.

‘Hang on,' she says. ‘Remember it was a long time ago, those parties in the sea garden. You don't mean Freddy Grenvile?'

‘He's my grandfather,' says Jess, halfway between tears and laughter. ‘My grandfather, Kate. Can you believe it?'

And she explains it all over again, more carefully, and Kate is struck by the strange story; how it began, how it has been played out, and how it is being moved on now by Jess.

‘Just think,' Jess is saying, ‘if I hadn't won the Award I'd never have known.'

‘All these little links,' says Kate, marvelling, ‘all interconnecting. And now you've got a huge new family.'

Jess heaves a sigh of huge happiness. ‘Some of them will be home for Christmas, if they can make it.'

‘So you won't be going to Brussels for Christmas?'

Jess shakes her head. ‘I'd already told Mum that I might be spending Christmas in this part of the world or with friends in Bristol. She's fine with that. They have a very social Christmas. I haven't told her about Freddy yet. I want to do that face to face, not that she'll mind much. After all, we never really knew Mike, and it's not her side of the family. Still, I don't want to do it on the phone. And I love Freddy's cottage, Kate. Wait till you see it. It's so sweet and looks straight across the river to the sea garden. And you won't believe this but he does beautiful little sketches. Mostly different kinds of boats, nothing big, but I'm sure I've got my love of drawing from him. He's getting a bedroom ready for me in case I need it but I'm staying in the sail loft just for now. Will can be there with me when he breaks up on Thursday. His parents and little sisters are coming over from Geneva.'

‘Well, that answers my question about whether you'll be needing this cottage.'

‘I don't think I will but I'm so grateful. If you hadn't offered it I might never have come down here.'

‘Well, it's the most amazing thing. So you're right in the story now.'

‘I am, aren't I? I wanted to be a part of it and now I really belong. I felt it all along. It was really weird. When you talked about the sea garden and the parties and stuff I could really, like, see it. And the sail loft, I can kind of feel Juliet there with me. I know it sounds crazy but it's true.'

‘So you'll be staying on for a while?'

Jess nods. ‘And I want to get down to some serious work. I haven't done anything much, though I've got a little idea about something.'

‘Oh?' Kate raises her eyebrows.

‘Mmm.' Jess grins at her. ‘But I'm not saying anything yet. Wait and see.'

*   *   *

‘Freddy?' Tom says incredulously for the third time. ‘Young Fred? I mean, can you credit it, Cass?'

Johnnie and Oliver have gone back to the Tamar, collecting Jess from Chapel Street on the way. Oliver has packed a bagful of casual clothes and Cass has given him his Christmas present.

‘Lucky I did my wrapping early,' said Cass, giving it to him when they were on their own for a moment.

‘You don't mind, do you, Ma?' he asked, giving her a hug. ‘Look, the truth is that Sophie and I have got a bit of a thing going so I've decided to stay, since they've asked me.'

‘Sophie?' Cass was pleased. ‘Well, of course you must stay. It's hardly as if you're miles away. It's only this wretched weather making everything so difficult.'

‘That's why I grabbed this chance in Johnnie's Discovery. I can't get my car up the drive. I'll see you again as soon as I can get out. Gemma and I Skyped Guy while Johnnie was telling you the family secret and he's catching a flight out on Friday.'

‘Thanks for helping them out, lovey.' She kissed him. ‘And have a happy Christmas.'

‘I shall. How's Pa taking the news about the lovely Juliet?'

Cass made a face. ‘Ructions later,' she said.

And now Tom is pouring himself a drink and saying disbelievingly, ‘Freddy, of all people.'

Cass stops herself from saying provocatively, ‘You mean when it could have been you?' and says instead, ‘But Freddy was a very attractive man.'

‘Man!' Tom snorts contemptuously. ‘He was barely shaving.'

‘You weren't that old yourself.'

‘I was older than Fred,' he protests. “Everyone was older than Fred. Anyway, what d'you mean, “attractive”? He was thin and gangly.'

‘He was tall and elegant,' Cass corrects him. ‘He still is. I've always rather fancied Freddy. Great legs. Anyway, what does it matter? Clearly Juliet fancied him, too. That's the point.'

Tom shakes his head, swallows down some wine.

‘And it's lovely for Jess,' says Cass. ‘And the other news is that Oliver and Sophie have got a thing going between them. That's why he's spending Christmas there.'

Tom gapes at her. ‘Oliver and
Sophie?
' He thinks of the attractive, fair girl, athletic and strong: one of Betjeman's tennis girls. First Juliet and now Sophie; he groans aloud with envy and Cass begins to laugh.

‘Cheer up,' she says. ‘I think it was very nice of Johnnie to come and tell us himself. Pour me a drink and stop behaving like a prat.'

‘Who's behaving like a prat?' asks Gemma, coming in. She puts an arm round Tom's shoulder. ‘What's going on?'

‘Nothing,' says Tom shortly. ‘Only, apparently, that Oliver and Sophie are about to become an item.'

‘Oh, great,' says Gemma. ‘Guy noticed that something was going on. I really like Sophie and I suppose it's about time Oliver committed to someone. I shall be jealous but at least she'll be a part of the team. Listen, Guy should be with us by Saturday if this weather doesn't get worse. It's a pity that he'll miss the end-of-term service but it's just so great that he'll be home for Christmas, isn't it?'

‘It's wonderful,' agrees Cass. ‘Shall we drink to it?'

*   *   *

At the end-of-term service, the church is packed. The snow lends a very special effect; children's faces glow with the knowledge of trunks and tuck boxes packed and waiting, with the prospect of going home, and of Christmas presents. The atmosphere is charged with joy and the organ prelude sounds even more beautiful than it usually does.

How odd it is, Kate thinks, to be sitting with Gemma and Cass and Tom, whilst Oliver sits across the aisle with Sophie and Johnnie and Jess. Will's blond head bobs beside Jess's dark red-brown one as she bends to hear his whisper.

Kate smiles down at Ben – Julian is in the choir – who beams up at her, and more ghosts appear at his shoulder: Guy and Giles at nine years old, suppressing their excitement, turning to see who is coming down the aisle. On Ben's other side Gemma sits staring forward, her hands clasped on her lap. Just for this moment she is preoccupied; thinking about her family and their future, wondering where they will live and how Guy's dream will work out in reality. She looks slightly vulnerable, thinner; she's lost weight in these last few months. She turns her head, smiles quickly as Ben whispers to her, alert to his touch and his needs, putting her own fears to one side.

As Kate watches Gemma an idea crystallizes in her mind and in that moment she makes her decision. As she does so, her anxieties fall away and she is filled with peace. Oliver glances over his shoulder, catches her eye and winks at her, and she remembers his message: ‘Home is where the heart is.' Cass sees him and turns to smile at Kate.

‘It's going to be such fun,' Cass said earlier, as they gathered in the porch. ‘I wish you were coming back with us this afternoon, Kate. You're just being stubborn.'

‘No, I'm not.' Kate shook her head firmly. ‘Come on, Cass, it's still ten days to Christmas.'

‘Well, Tom's worried about the weather.' She peers about her, looking for him. ‘I hope he's managed to park the car. They're forecasting a white Christmas, you know. I don't think the white stuff's just going to go away.'

‘Well, I'll have to take my chance.'

‘Are you OK?' Cass looked more closely at her old friend. ‘It's all good now, isn't it? Guy coming home, Oliver backing this enterprise of theirs. Thank goodness you've bought the cottage so that you'll be close to us all again. It'll be like old times. I thought you were thrilled to bits that Guy is sorted?'

‘I am,' Kate said. ‘You know I am. It's just been a bit odd lately.' She gave an amused, dismissive snort. ‘I think I'm going a bit mad. I've been seeing the ghosts of Christmases past.'

‘Oh, lovey,' said Cass, looking suddenly sombre, ‘we all do that. Poor little Charlotte, Kate. There isn't a day when I don't think about her, wonder what she would have been like. Whether her children would have been here today with Ben and Jules.' She clutched Kate's arm. ‘I have quite a battle with my demons. I have to remind myself about what my old dad used to say: “Don't let the buggers get you down.” I still miss him.'

‘So do I,' said Kate sadly. ‘How I loved him. Oh God, Cass. All these ghosts.'

And then Jess suddenly appeared beside them, beaming, delighted to see them, and the ghosts vanished in the face of her vitality.

‘I've got something for you,' she said to Kate, drawing her a little to one side. ‘My way of saying thank you for making all this happen. It's not a Christmas present. It's more important than that. If you hadn't invited me, and said I could use the cottage, and then taken me down to the Tamar I wouldn't have known about any of this. How can I really hope to say a sufficient thank you for all of that? Anyway, I hope you like it. And, listen, I was thinking on the way here that you could come down for Christmas and share the sail loft with me and Will.'

Kate burst out laughing. ‘Now that's an offer I can almost not refuse, but no, darling. Thank you very much, though.'

‘Johnnie's fine with it,' said Jess. ‘And Sophie. But I told them I thought you'd rather be with your own family. Anyway, here's your pressie, and thanks again, Kate.'

She passed over a small package, and Kate took it, hefted it, raised her eyebrows at the weight of it.