The Sea Maiden (5 page)

Tuesday morning the sun showed through an opening of the heavy drapery in her bedroom window. Then she opened her eyes and saw it was daylight but the previous day’s events quickly caused her to tense and become overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and helplessness, she was alone in this. Then she thought of Thunder, he was her only joyful thought and that of riding through miles of green pasture with the wind in her, hearing the sound of his hooves as they connected with the ground it was the sound of freedom. A wild thought came into her head-, ‘running away,’ it was a ridiculous thought of course running away. Then a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. It was late morning and she had missed breakfast. Bessie the kitchen maid brought in a tray of food. Lynnette peaked through the door,

“Karina! Are you awake?”

Karina stirred but didn’t answer. Karina was not in the mood to talk if she could just leap out the window onto Thunder and run away.

“Karina your father wishes to speak to you.” Lynnette made her way to her bed and gently sat down beside her. After a brief pause she said, “Karina, I wanted to tell you something, um…last night, I followed you to the study…you see I saw some servants standing nearby so I wanted to make sure they gave you privacy so I told them to leave and I was about to leave myself but then I heard you and your father talking and I thought it would be best if I stay…you know to make sure nobody overheard anything they were not suppose too…and so I um…I heard …you and your father talking. I know it was wrong of me…please forgive me?”

Feeling ashamed, Lynnette kept her head down and avoided eye contact with Karina. Upon hearing Lynnette’s confession and apology for her indiscretion Karina asked,

“So you heard everything?”

“Yes”

Under different circumstances Karina might have laughed at Lynnette’s poor excuse for eves dropping. It was almost comical.

“I hope you didn’t tell the others?”

“No not a word. Not even mother, but because of Darlene’s gossiping yesterday there are already rumors of you getting married to Lord Harmon circulating; however I didn’t know about your father’s condition or the situation with Pembroke Hall.” Karina remained silent. “Your father wants to see you in his study again this morning and requested I tell you.”

Karina sat up slowly resigned to hear more bad news she was losing him and needed to pay close attention to everything he had to say whether she liked it or not. She put on her robe and obediently went downstairs to meet her father in the study Lynnette followed her.

“Please watch the door Lynnette.” Karina told Lynnette knowing full well she would likely stand outside and listen. She was her closest friend and in her heart she knew Lynnette would do anything to help. Karina knocked on the door to the study. Charles faced away from her. Karina approached the old man. “Yes father?”

Charles got up with some difficulty, leaning on his walking stick for support, he made his way to his desk opened the top drawer and withdrew a letter. He handed the letter to her. Lynnette pressed her ear to the door but could not hear anything she wondered what was happening. Karina took the letter from him and began to read:

“Dearest Karina.

My words cannot express how deep your welfare concerns me so my actions will in time prove it even though they may seem harsh to you now. I chose to write this letter to you to keep these delicate matters private and because there is less physical exertion for me. I hope someday you will understand the logic. You are now aware that our situation is critical and what transpired between us yesterday was difficult for both of us. As a young girl your notion of marriage are naive romantic ones, no doubt based on story books and even on some of our own serving staff who found love among one another. You must remember you are not one of them. We belong to a higher social class. The wealthy are not always free to choose their marriage partners. Through marriage we strengthen family wealth, and power and create legacies. Those who have gone against these principles strain or weaken their family’s social position and future. I admit I didn’t prepare you for this and I apologize. I allowed you to socialize with our servants and their children and now the situation will be harder to endure but for everyone’s sake you must. I do not mean to be cruel by putting this on you; but I found no other way. There is something else you should know. Something I didn’t want to share with you until now. This may bring you some comfort knowing you have another blood relative, your half-brother….my son. His name is Jonathan Williams he lives in New England; he is approximately 51 years old now. When I was 25 I became engaged to my first wife Melissa whose family was very wealthy. My own father had amassed great wealth through our shipping business and I traveled often to the colonies to deliver supplies. During that time I met a beautiful young serving girl named Lavinia Williams. She worked at the Inn I stayed at. I had a love affair with her and she conceived a son. I was fond of her but I could not marry her, she was not of our social class and my father, your grandfather, would have never accepted her. So I had to end the relationship. She was heartbroken of course. My marriage to Melissa was going to merge both our family shipping businesses in addition to a substantial dowry. I did feel responsible for ruining Lavinia and had to keep her from talking; I didn’t want this kind of gossip to reach England and ruin my chances with Melissa and her family. So I dealt with the consequence of my carelessness as best as possible. I purchased some land and had a small house built for her and the child to live in. I told Lavinia she could live there rent free until the child was of age then I would give her title to the property so long as she kept the fact that I was the father a secret. Lavinia made an extra income being a seamstress and selling fabrics and she requested I also help her acquire a store front to run her business and be able to provide for herself and the child. She was hurt and angry but wise in this regard and I had little choice but to agree. By doing this I maintained a peaceful medium between us, and still kept my paternity a secret. I did visit Jonathan throughout his childhood. At first my intentions were diplomatic ones but the more I visited him the more we bonded as father and son. I yearned to spend time with him as he did with me but because of Melissa’s health and other issues the visits became more and more infrequent as the years passed and I became more like a visiting Uncle then a father. For a period of 5 years I was not able to travel to the colonies and I did not see Jonathan until he was nearly 15 years old. This must have been incredibly difficult for Jonathan, he took it very personal. I believe he felt abandoned by me. His mother, Lavinia, eventually married and did have more children, which was especially difficult for Jonathan. According to Lavinia, Jonathan resented his step siblings for having a father. When I saw him again he seemed distant and resentful. The years flew by and Lavinia kept our secret and I kept my word to her and released the title of the property to her. Her business grew prosperous. After his stepfather passed away, Jonathan continued to run the fabric store and proved to be a successful businessman. In time he opened another shop selling spices which was also prosperous. The last time I saw him 10 years ago he was polite but distant and more businesslike than I liked; of course, I had no right to expect more. What I can tell you is that your brother, Jonathan, is a good man; he’s a son any father would have been proud of. I regret the fact that I chose to protect my business over acknowledging him as my son all these years and kept him a secret from you as well. This hurt him deeply and hurt our relationship I don’t blame him if he never forgives me.

On the last day I saw him I offered to help him financially, but he didn’t want money from me, so he politely declined, but he did say this, ‘If Karina ever needs anything would you please let her know she can count on me.’ I simply nodded. Foolishly, I still felt compelled to keep things as they were. I am ashamed and I don’t want to leave this world without giving you the message he left for you.

I hope that after reading this letter you don’t think too unkindly of me, but I cannot blame you if you do. I know that Jonathan is someone you can turn to in my absence if you ever need to. Please forgive me for keeping him a secret from you.

Your loving father,

Lord Charles Pembroke”

Karina wept silently when she finished reading the letter, she could not understand her father’s logic in this regard. Charles explained that if his former in-laws would have found out about his infidelity to Melissa they would have cut him off. Melissa died many years before but her family had continued to be business associates of his and had provided him with crucial business clients as well as financial assistance when he was in need. The old man was ashamed of himself and his eyes grew moist and he quickly avoided her eyes. He didn’t want her to think any less of him. He thought, that if he could travel to New England he would proudly embrace Jonathan publicly but what honor was there in such a late admission. Charles wrongfully believed that Jonathan would interpret this as act as self-redeeming only to satisfy himself now that he no longer had anything to risk or lose by proclaiming his blood ties to him. I can only hope that he forgives me.

“Father, please don’t be so hard on yourself, I know you’re not perfect but you didn’t turn your back on him. If Jonathan is a good man like you say he is, then I’m sure he has forgiven you, just as I have forgiven you.” Then she turned to him, “Father we must go to him and you must tell him what you just told me. We can travel to New England, he can help us! I can learn the business too, and you said yourself he’s a good businessman.”

Charles knew he could not travel to New England.

“Don’t be a ridiculous child! Girls do not run shipping businesses!”

“So if I’m a girl and a child, incapable of running a business then why is it alright for you to marry me off to a man three times my age?”

Charles turned away he was getting agitated and knew he needed to leave before it got more unpleasant.

“Don’t you pretend not to know why Karina! You know very well that a male must inherit the estate so that you won’t be penniless and I have chosen someone with experience in running a shipping business and that someone is Lord Gunther Harmon and you will be his wife! I will not discuss this any further with you so go and prepare for our trip tomorrow!”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, Charles turned away from her trying to avoid the tears. He began walking away with the aid of his walking stick then before he left the study he stopped and said to her,

“Karina this is not easy for me as well I wish you would understand that…I blame myself for many things and waiting too long thinking I had more time but now there is nothing else we can do, it’s simply too late.”

‘Not for me.’ Karina rebelliously whispered to herself pressing her hands to her face sobbing. From that moment she decided she had to plan her escape, now that she knew she had a brother in America she felt new hope. She could still hear her father calling for Nate from the hallway.

“Nate, there you are, please escort me up those dreaded stairs to my room I must rest now, please have Bessie come up to help me pack for the trip tomorrow.”

Karina had never disobeyed her father before but this time it was different, too much was at stake and her father had lost all hope and perhaps even his wits, he loved her of course but because she was a female regarded as an object or painting that needed a new owner she was being handed over to a stranger. Unfortunately most of the world viewed women in this manner but she could prove them wrong if she only had a chance, however, she did need help in reaching her half-brother half a world away, she needed a guide. She went to her room thinking she could not just escape and never come back, everyone’s future was at stake not just hers, she needed to devise a solution to her dilemma without totally disobeying her father after all his biggest concern was her future. Karina sat on the edge of her bed, thinking, and then heard a knock.

“Karina, are you there?” Lynnette asked.

Yes come in.”

Lynnette came in she had not been able to hear this time and was hoping to get some clarity.

“Is everything alright?”

After a brief moment Karina slowly summarized her father’s revelation,

“My father has an illegitimate son living in New England. His name is Jonathan Williams he’s approximately 51 and he was born after my father had an affair with a serving girl while traveling to America during his engagement to his first wife, Melissa, before my mother. He feared she and her family would reject him once they found out about his infidelity so he kept Jonathan a secret.”

Lynnette’s mouth dropped at Karina’s revelation.

“Oh my…I thought you were an only child!”

“Yes so did I.”

“So you can go live with him instead of marrying Lord Harmon…right?”

“Well I’m afraid it’s not so simple first father is too proud and will not ask him for help and there is the fact that he’s 51 years old and there has been no communication between them for 10 years.
  He could be dead. Second, I would need to travel to New England without father’s permission to even know if he’s alive, also there is the possibility he may not want to help me because of his resentment toward father for never acknowledging him as his son. However, he told father, that he wanted me to know that if I ever needed help I could count on him. Therefore my feeling is he will not turn me away.”