The SEAL's Second Chance Baby (13 page)

“Marsh, no. Tucker wouldn't want you to live your life miserable and alone.” But then if that were true, by her own logic, shouldn't the same rationale apply to her own situation? Moody had long since moved on. Why couldn't she?

Why
shouldn't
she?

“We're quite a pair, huh?” He held her as if she were a lifeline, and she held him right back.

“Yeah. So what are we going to do?”

“For now?” He kissed the crown of her head. “I guess get you home. After that, I don't have a clue.”

Effie no longer wanted to go home. She wanted to stay.

To climb back into that huge, pillowy bed and cuddle and talk and hold and be held. She wanted to finish what she and Marsh had started. She wanted to feel him—all of him—deep inside her. But what did he want? For even though he'd shared what had to have been some of his darkest secrets, in the grand scheme of things, what did that really mean? It brought them no closer to a resolution on issues she didn't even fully comprehend.

* * *

I
T
WAS
A
moonless night, and for Marsh, the long drive to Effie's was made all the longer by the concrete silence between them. They hadn't passed a car or house in miles. The isolation was as unsettling as it was complete.

The sensation was akin to a night dive, plunging headfirst into inky unknown, not wanting to go forward but knowing your only other option was to go back, which was really no option at all.

“Are we good?” she asked a few miles from their shared dirt road.

“Sure.”

“I don't feel like it.” Her voice struck him as sad.

“What do you want me to do?” He didn't mean to sound short, but the night had been rough—physically and emotionally. Why had he shared so much? Why did he now feel naked and raw? As if she could see straight through to his soul?

“Nothing. Sorry I said anything.”

In the dash's dim lights, he saw her turn away.

“Aw, Eff...” He turned onto their road but stopped short for an armadillo waddling across the dirt.

They both stared at the tottering critter, then back at each other to laugh.

“I'm sorry,” she said.

“No, I'm sorry. I took things too far, too fast, and you weren't ready.”

“Oh—but I was ready, but felt guilty about it. Like some harlot who couldn't wait to jump your bones.”

“Trust me—” he laughed “—I wanted my tired old bones jumped.”

“What are we going to do?”

“For starters, how about we both stop overanalyzing every little thing and just see where our days—or nights—take us?”

“I could do that.” She unfastened her seat belt to cozy against him.

He pulled the truck to the deserted road's shoulder and killed the engine in favor of resting his hands on more satisfying curves than the steering wheel.

Kissing her felt so damned good. She mewed against him and damn if they weren't right back where they'd started with him straining his fly and her grinding against him.

He slid his hand up under her thin cotton dress, all too easily finding himself once again fingering the moist haven between her legs. She came just as fast, only this time, when she worked off his belt buckle and then lowered his fly, she whispered in his ear, “Still got those condoms?”

Hell, yeah.

After some fumbling and laughing and sharing the general awkwardness stemming from groping in the front seat of a pickup as opposed to a nice, soft bed, he lifted her on top of him and then slipped into home. Though it had been a while for them both, their bodies moved on pure instinct to the age-old rhythm.

He didn't last long, but then neither did she. When the act was done, she clung to him, and he to her, and with their heavy breathing fogging the windows, for once in a very long time, he felt almost whole.

“What are you doing to me?” Effie rested her forehead against his.

“Likewise. Is this going to be a problem? Because honestly, I'm still craving more.”

She giggled. “Me, too. But I have church early in the morning.”

“Honey.” He kissed her again full on her gorgeous lips. “I don't think this sort of activity would be a welcome topic of conversation in your Bible class.”

“Me, neither.”

“All right, so for now, let's get you home, then worry about tomorrow when it comes.”

“Deal.”

Only they ended up using a second condom before he was veering his truck back on the road. Good thing that armadillo was short, or he'd have gotten quite a show.

* * *

T
HE
LAST
THING
Effie expected was for Wallace and Marsh to end up sharing a church pew with her, Mabel, the twins and Cassidy, but now that they were, focusing on the sermon was an impossibility.

The sermon topic was on the importance of truth, which reminded Effie of her white lie that morning when Mabel had asked what kept her and Marsh out so late. A flat tire had sounded better than doing it on the side of the road.

Just driving past the scene of their crimes had reddened her cheeks to the point that her grandmother asked if she was coming down with a cold.

Now, with Cassidy having fallen asleep on Marsh's shoulder and the boys coloring in their Sunday school activity books on either side of him, she figured if the pastor could see inside her guilty heart, he'd have given her a real talking-to. Not only had she lied to Mabel, but to Marsh and most especially to herself.

When she'd told him what happened between them was no big deal, nothing could be further from the truth. Oh, at the time, she'd wanted to believe she could be the sort of woman for whom casual sex was the norm, but here, in the light of day, she realized the gravity of what she and Marsh had done.

All the little things they'd shared had a cumulative effect—from simple walks in the park to working with the boys to that day at the police station when he'd been her rock. Now, when Colt took Marsh's hat from the pew to plant it lopsided on his own head, her heart squeezed in a not entirely unpleasant way. When he caught her staring, he winked and then grinned, and she was lost.

No, they most definitely hadn't just had sex—well, maybe he had—but from her point of view, they'd made love. But she couldn't love him, could she? That sort of thing took time, and she'd known him barely a few weeks.

The sermon thankfully ended, and Marsh hefted sleepy Cassidy onto his shoulders, keeping one hand securely on her while holding Remington's hand. Colt, still wearing Marsh's hat, trailed behind while humming their last hymn.

“You're looking mighty fetching this morning, Miss Mabel.” Once they all stood on the small white chapel's lawn, Wallace stole a kiss from his betrothed. The day was sunny and warm with the sky a fathomless blue. It was the kind of perfect day that made a body believe anything possible—especially in the presence of a guy who made her tingle clear from her head to her toes.

“Thank you,” Mabel said with a big smile. “You don't look so bad yourself. You could have knocked me over with a feather when you and your strapping grandson showed up. I thought you don't care for preaching?”

“I don't.” He kissed her again. “Marsh decided he needed some, but what I really think is that he just wanted an excuse to see your Miss Effie and her brood.” He nodded to the small playground where Marsh helped Cassidy into an infant swing while the boys played with their friends on the slide.

“I think you're right,” Mabel noted with one of the sly smiles she used when she thought she was smarter than everyone else. She nudged Effie. “While you two were slaving over that flat tire, did you give any thought to that double wedding?”

“
Grandma!
” Effie figured since the church cemetery was close, she might as well keel over from embarrassment. “You know Marsh and I don't think of each other like that.” Only, they did—at least, she did. But not anymore, right?

She stole one more glance in Marsh's direction to find him pushing Cassidy, who shrieked with the sort of smile generally reserved for bath time.

Who am I kidding?

She'd fallen for Marsh harder than a chubby kid for cake.

Now, the question was, what did she plan to do about it?

Chapter Fourteen

“Why don't you
save us all a lot of grief and marry the girl?”

“What?”
Marsh sat behind the wheel of his truck, following Effie in her fancy new SUV out of the church lot.

“Don't think it escaped my attention how you moon over the girl and her babies.”

“I don't moon.”

“Oh, you moon something fierce. Why else would we now be stuck in churchyard traffic when we could be out on the back porch, sipping Budweisers and watching the horses in the pasture?”

“Whatever.” Marsh pretended to focus on the mini traffic jam, but inside, he was a mess. Honestly, he hadn't stepped foot in a church since Tucker's funeral. The only reason he had today was because he had to see Effie again—sooner as opposed to later. He needed reassurance that what they'd shared was real.

“Don't
whatever
me. That girl's a bona fide saint, and if you don't tie her down soon, some other two-bit cowboy with a flashier truck than you will.”

“Great.” Marsh finally made it to the main road. “So now it's not only me you're putting down, but my truck?”

Wallace held up his hands. “I'm just man enough to say what needs saying—that girl adores you, and so do her kids. Ever since Tucker passed—God bless his precious soul—you've been a shell of the man you used to be. But ever since you woke up in the hospital to find Effie by your side, you've been a changed man. It's like you've found a new reason to live, and I don't mind telling you that if she gets away, you'll have no one but yourself to blame.”

“Duly noted.” Marsh completed the trip to Mabel's, where they'd be having lunch, and couldn't help but wonder if his crazy old coot of a grandfather might be onto something. But then sanity kicked in. He'd already had a family and lost them. No way was he ready to open himself up to that brand of vulnerability again. He was already in far too deep with Effie. What happened in the truck had been a huge mistake—not because he hadn't wanted to be with her, but because now that he had, he wanted to again.

She was far too good of a woman for him to use for sex—not that he would ever use any woman for purely that purpose—although he'd known plenty of guys who would. To Marsh, sleeping with a woman had always been the natural extension of a commitment. As for the fact that he and Effie had only been on one formal date before hopping into the proverbial sack, what did that mean?

They clearly had the hots for each other, but that didn't make a relationship or any sort of meaningful, lasting bond. If anything, it meant the opposite. But he genuinely did want to be with her, and not just in her bedroom. He found himself thinking about her during all hours of his nights and days. He wondered if Colt and Remington were behaving at school, or if Cassidy had learned any new tricks. She'd be walking soon, which meant Mabel's house would need a whole new level of baby proofing. After the wedding, he'd offer Effie a hand with making the home extra safe—she needed an air conditioner, too.

“You're awfully quiet,” Wallace said once Marsh turned onto their dirt road.

“Yep.” Marsh refused to look at the spot where he'd pulled over to have his way with Effie.

“Admit it—you're at least considering my idea, aren't you?”

“No. Of course not. A gal like Effie deserves far better than me.”

Wallace snorted. “What's wrong with you? You're an honest, hardworking man—”

“Who let his son die.”

“Stop. I never want to hear that kind of crazy talk come out of you again. What happened to Tucker was a horrible, tragic accident. It could have just as easily happened at home with him slipping in the bathtub. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Ain't no rhyme or reason to it. Just the way it goes. Think about what it does for a man's character to see how he rises above calamity. That's what makes a man a man.”

“Like the way you never came after Grandma?” Marsh stopped the truck in the middle of the desolate road. “Or how you let my mom grow up with only phone calls for a dad?”

Wallace's jaw hardened. “If you weren't my blood, I'd smack you clear to next Sunday. I tried every way under the sun to earn your grandma's trust, but she wasn't having it.”

“Every way except for going to her.”

“Who said I didn't? I spent months on her uppity Virginia breeding farm, kowtowing to her every whim. After a while, a man gets the hint that he's not wanted, so I packed my bags and came back here, where I pined for her till the day she died. Well, I'm tired of being alone, and since the good Lord has seen fit to still have life in my body, I figure why not spend what time I have left with a woman who actually enjoys my company?”

“Sorry...” Marsh rested his forehead against the wheel.

“You should be, but I'll forgive you on account of the fact that you've been a walking wound ever since losing your son.”

“I'm done with this topic.” Marsh fisted his hands on his knees.

“Why? Because his memory hurts? Of course it does. But if you'd for one second consider how good it might feel to become a father all over again to Effie's two boys and her baby girl, your life might actually have a happy ending.”

“Please, hush.” His head hurt so bad there was ringing in his ears. “I know you mean well, but I don't want to hear another thing about me substituting someone else's children for my own.”

“But that's the thing—if you and Effie married, her kids would become
yours
. Don't you see? It's the perfect plan.”

“Right.” All Marsh saw was that his grandfather's grand new romance had messed with his head. “Look, I'm happy for you and Mabel—really, I am. But man to man, back off on your matchmaking routine. I'll be first to admit that Effie's a great gal, but the two of us as a couple just isn't going to happen.”

To prove it, Marsh dropped his grandfather at Mabel's front door, then left. He needed time alone—for what, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that talk of marriage made him antsy, and he needed an escape.

* * *

“G
RANDMA
,
STOP
.” E
FFIE
SLAMMED
the rolling pin she'd been using for biscuit dough on the counter. “For the last time, Marsh and I aren't even a couple, so why in the world do you keep bringing up this ridiculous double wedding idea?”

“Because neither of us is getting any younger, and I don't want you ending up old and alone like me.”

“But you're getting married in a few weeks. Your own logic doesn't even make sense.”

“There you go again with your sassy mouth.” Mabel took milk from the fridge.

Cassidy went wild on her walker, pressing the noisiest buttons as fast as her chubby little hands could move.

Effie sighed.

“Mom!” Remington banged his way through the kitchen's screen door. “Colt found another scorpion and put it in a shoe box!”

Looked as if it was going to be one of those days...

“Where is it?” she asked Colt after a brief march across the yard.

“Snitch!” Colt called to his brother. Thank goodness he at least handed over the box.

Effie cautiously lifted the lid to find one of the biggest scorpions she'd seen in a while.
Ew.
Of course she could dispense of the creature on her own, but how nice would it be if Marsh were around to do it for her?

The thought had been as quick as it was unexpected. Was Mabel's constant needling starting to get in her head?

“Can I at least throw it over the fence?” Colt asked.

“Why didn't you do that in the first place? Why in the world would you want to keep a dangerous animal?”

“I didn't. I just wanted to show Mr. Marsh. Then I was gonna let him go.”

“Oh.” Effie held her hand over her heart. See? This was precisely the reason why she'd been avoiding forming any real attachment to her handsome neighbor. The last thing she wanted was for her boys or Cassidy to look forward to Marsh being in their lives, only to have him one day vanish like their father. “Well, he'll be here for lunch any minute, so I guess let's put the box on the front porch, and as soon as he gets here, show him the scorpion, then let it go.”

“Okay! Thanks, Mom!” Colt raced to the front of the house with his brother hot on his heels.

Effie had just returned to biscuit duty when Marsh's familiar black pickup turned in to the drive. A rowdy bunch of butterflies took flight in her belly. Would she and Marsh manage to grab a few moments alone? If so, would he kiss her? Was it wrong that she hoped he would?

Half groaning, half giggling, she straightened her hair and apron, then dashed to see him. The biscuits could wait. She needed to know if he was as excited to see her as she was to see him.

Effie rounded the corner of the house only to get a bitter reality check. Wallace stood chatting with the boys, but Marsh drove off.
Where's he going?

Mabel crossed the porch to meet Wallace for a smooch. She held smiley Cassidy in her arms.

Jealousy stabbed every stupid butterfly in Effie's belly. She should have known better than to get her hopes up.

“Where's Marsh going?” Mabel asked.

“He's in a mood.”

“I wanted to show him my scorpion.” Tears shone in Colt's big brown eyes. “Is he coming back?”

“Don't know, little buddy. But you can sure show me.”

“Okay.” He didn't look half as excited to show Wallace as he had been to show Marsh.

Effie wasn't sure what to think about this development. Marsh had seemed fine at church. They'd shared smiles, and as usual, he'd been great with the kids. Was he sick? If not, how could his mood have changed on a dime? Was it thoughts of spending the afternoon with her that made him turn his truck around?

That realization made her sick.

“Effie, hon,” Mabel said, “why don't you hop in your fancy new car and run after him?”

“No.” She'd never been the sort of woman to chase a man, and she sure wouldn't start now. If Marsh didn't want her, so be it. They'd shared one hot night, and apparently he'd found it lacking, or—

Her stomach clenched to hear a revved engine, then she saw him pulling into the drive in a plume of dust.

“Marsh!” Colt ran toward the truck.

Remington followed. “Look what we found!”

“I found him,” Colt argued.

Marsh emerged from the truck to greet both boys, then locked stares with her. His intensity stole what precious little remained of her breath.

“Look what's in the box!” Colt said. “I was real sad when I thought you weren't coming, but then you did, so I'm happy!” He dived in for a hug, but in the process dropped the box. The scorpion plopped out at Marsh's boot-covered feet.

“Mr. Marsh, watch out!” Colt cried. “Don't die if he bites you.”

“I'll do my best.” Marsh wore cowboy boots, as did the boys, so even though the nasty critter looked ready to strike, Marsh could have easily stomped it. Instead, he calmly picked up the box, then scooped the scorpion back in. “There we go. Now, what does your mama want you to do with him?”

“We throw 'em over the back fence,” Remington said.

“Sounds good. Let's get it done.” He shared another look with Effie before charging off with the laughing boys.

“Looks like somebody missed your mommy enough to turn around.” Mabel gave Cassidy a jiggle.

“Grandma, please. Give it a rest.” Unsure what to do about her racing heart, Effie took the baby and entered the house. It was far too warm outside—not that it was much better inside. Just one look at Marsh made her feel all hot and sweaty and flushed.

She walked straight her room and turned on the box fan perched in the open window.

Cassidy giggled in the sudden breeze.

“Feels better, doesn't it, sweetie?”

Her daughter cooed.

“I love you. Why does Mr. Marsh make me feel young enough to be your high school sitter instead of your mom?”

“I'd like the answer to that.”

She glanced over her shoulder to find Marsh filling the open door. She gulped, holding Cassidy tighter.

“It's hotter than you know what in here.” He removed his hat to fan himself. “You ladies mind sharing your breeze?”

“Where were you?” Effie blurted after making room.

He sighed. “Needed time to think.”

“'Bout what?” Her heart hammered.

“I think you know.” He stepped forward, easing his hand under the fall of her hair. He brushed his thumb over her lower lip, and she closed her eyes, leaning in to his touch, yearning for more, fearing it wouldn't come.

Her breath hitched. “I—I really don't.”

“What happened last night—I know we agreed it was no big deal. Just physical. But for me it was more. And I need to know—”

“It was for me, too.” She bridged the gap between them, shifting the baby farther back on her hip to allow space to press her lips to his. “But I'm scared. I'm not ready for anything serious, but part of me feels like we're sort of accidentally already there.”

“Ditto.” He laughed. “So what are we going to do about it?”

“Who says we have to do anything?” She looked down, then up. “Except maybe share more of these...” Kissing him again felt like the most natural thing in the world, as if there'd never been any man for her other than him. Which was confusing, yet at the same time liberating. She needed a fresh start—she deserved one. How could something that felt so right between her and Marsh be wrong?

“Lord...”
Even when they'd paused for air, he still held her. “I never expected this. To feel...”

“I know. Me, too.” He looked as perplexed by the emotions swirling between them as she felt. “But that's okay. We have all the time in the world to figure out what we want to do.”