The Search (39 page)

Jonah could see that Bess was hurting. She was quiet and pale and her eyes were swollen like she’d been crying. These were the moments when he longed for a wife. Bess needed a mother. He hoped she would talk to Lainey about whatever was bothering her, but Lainey was taking Simon to the hospital today for a checkup. Usually, that meant a long day.

When Billy came by early today to say that he needed to quit working at Rose Hill Farm, Jonah put two and two together and had a pretty good idea about what was troubling Bess. Last week, Lainey had tipped him off that she had seen Billy with a girl in his courting buggy a couple of times lately.

He found Bess in the barn, Boomer by her side, gathering up the dry petals and stuffing them into bags. They sounded like crackly tissue paper as she stuffed. His heart went out to her. Her head was down and her shoulders slumped. He saw a dried tear on her cheek.

“Bess, I need to tell you something.”

She kept working, kept her head down.

“There’s something I’ve discovered that you and I have in common.” It was never easy for him to say things out of his heart, but there was something he needed to say. “When we love someone, we love them with our whole heart.”

She put the bag down and bent down to pat Boomer.

It’s funny, he thought, that it’s always easier to talk about important matters with our eyes turned away. He let his cane slip to the floor, leaned his hip against the table that held the rose petals, and folded his arms against his chest. “I’ve learned something this summer. I’ve learned that I have a tendency to make a person I love too important. They start filling the spot that only God should hold in my life. I did it with Rebecca, and when she passed, I felt that great void for far too long. I’ve done it with you, and when I found out that Simon was your father, I felt that void again.” He chanced a look at her. “The Lord has to keep teaching me the same lesson. To hold on a little more lightly to others and to trust him in a deeper way.”

He crossed one boot over the other. “Lainey is a good example for us. She’s always depended on God in just the right way.” He was a better person for knowing her. Lainey had an ability to make him revise his stiff attitudes—like his attitude about Simon. Or about telling Bess the truth. It was an uncomfortable process, but she was so often right. And he had nearly lost her, that night. He had held himself so close and tight, so afraid to love again after Rebecca died. “When we left to go back to Ohio, Lainey was sorry and she missed us, but she wasn’t devastated. She left us in God’s care.” He looked up at Bess. “And the Lord brought us back here, didn’t he?” But he knew that things rarely turned out nice and neatly in this life.

Bess stood and picked up a handful of rose petals, letting them slip through her fingers back onto the table. “I don’t think the Lord is going to bring Billy and me back together. He’s marrying Betsy Mast.”

So
that’s
what had happened. Jonah put his large hand over Bess’s. He wished he had better words, softer ones. “Then we can trust in God’s plan for Billy and Betsy. And trust God has another plan for you. A good plan.”

With that, Bess dove into his arms. They stood there for a while, with Jonah’s chin resting on her head, until Boomer stood abruptly, hackles raised, and let out a huge bark. He tore outside and kept barking as he ran down the drive.

“Someone must be coming,” Jonah said. “I’ll go see who Boomer is scaring half to death.” Before he turned to go, he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “Things have a way of turning out in the end.”

She gave him a slight smile. “That’s what Mammi used to say.”

The taxi had dropped Lainey and Simon back at her cottage from the hospital. Lainey was so happy she felt as if she were floating. She made Simon a cup of his favorite tea and told him she would be back soon, that she had an errand. She hurried up the hill to Rose Hill Farm, practically bursting with happiness. She stopped to pet Boomer at the bottom of the hill and when she looked up, there was Jonah. She walked up to him, a smile wreathing her face.

“Simon’s well, Jonah. He was given the all clear by the doctors! He still has to be tested every six months, but he can go back to living a normal life . . . whatever normal means for Simon Troyer.”

Jonah put his arms around her waist and swung her in the air, laughing. “We can finally make plans!”

“What kind of plans?” she asked him boldly when he set her down. She needed to know.

He took in a deep breath. “Plans to marry, you and me,” he said in a voice as dry as toast. “That is, if you’re willing to have me.”

When she didn’t answer, his face grew worried. He suddenly looked so earnest and vulnerable and sincere that any doubts if he loved her evaporated, like steam from a cup of hot tea. In its place swept a feeling of assurance, of safety, of tenderness, and an overwhelming love. The love she felt for him was so strong it burned her every breath.

The next moment she was in his arms and they were kissing. She thought she must be dreaming, but she felt the grip of his strong arms around her, felt the passion and warmth of his kiss. She didn’t need to hear him say the words “I love you.” She knew.

From the side door of the barn, Bess watched her father with Lainey. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but she could tell they were happy. And in love, that was plain to see. Her grandmother had spotted that from the first time they laid eyes on each other.

Boomer came charging back up the hill to join Bess and collapsed by her feet, panting heavily. When Bess saw her father bend down to kiss Lainey, she turned and closed the barn door. She knew when to leave things be. She smiled, though, as she went back to work. Wouldn’t Mammi have been pleased by this turn of events?

Caleb Zook said no to Billy and Betsy’s engagement. He explained gently that he felt they needed more time, especially after Betsy’s very recent time spent running around. This time next year, if they still felt the same way, then he would be pleased to marry them. After Betsy went through instructions for baptism, of course.

Billy was visibly relieved. He even felt as if his shirt collar wasn’t tightening up on him, like he’d been feeling for a few weeks now. He tried to encourage Betsy on the buggy ride home, but she was stunned silent.

When they got to her parents’ home, she stayed in the buggy, her eyes on the back end of the horse, and calmly said, “We should elope.”

There wasn’t much Billy would refuse Betsy, but that was one thing he was firm about. “Oh no. We don’t go against the bishop. I don’t aim to start a marriage off on the wrong foot.” He glanced at her. “To tell you the truth, I agree with Caleb. I always hoped to marry you, Betsy, but I imagined it in a few more years, after I turned twenty-one.” He gently stroked her cheek. “We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us.”

She kept her chin tucked to her chest. “My whole life starts now.” She turned to him then and gave him a deep, searching look. “You’re a very nice boy, Billy. But you’re still just a boy.” Then she hopped out of the buggy without a word and walked to her house.

He had the strangest feeling that she was saying one thing but trying to tell him something else entirely.

The next week, Betsy Mast left again. Maggie hurried over to Rose Hill Farm to tell Bess the news. She found Bess in the backyard, taking down laundry from the clothesline just as the gray sky began to darken to twilight.

“Betsy’s gone to stay with an aunt in Maryland.”

“Oh,” Bess said.

“An
aunt
,” Maggie stressed, whispering in a low, conspiratorial voice.

“So you said.”

“She’s having a baby, Bess.” Maggie’s eyes were bright with the scandalous details.

Bess gasped. “You shouldn’t be spreading tales, Maggie.”

“I’m doing no such thing! I overheard her father talking to my dad. And my dad is the bishop, you know!”

Bess was so surprised that for a second she froze. “Billy’s baby.”
My Billy.

Maggie buried her face in her hands. “No, Bess.
Not
Billy’s.
Think!
That English boy at the Hay and Grain! He just used her and dumped her. He had no intention to marry her. That’s why she came back. She was trying to trick our Billy into marrying her!”

But Bess knew better. “Billy might not have known all the details, but he was still willing, Maggie.” She felt a little sorry for Billy. She even felt a surge of pity for Betsy. Life hadn’t turned out the way Betsy had expected.

Maggie put her hands on her hips. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re over Billy?”

“I guess I am.” And oddly, Bess meant it.

She remembered how she had ached all over at the very thought of him. That soul-deep ache—it was less painful now.

14

______

Jonah walked up and down the sidewalk in Harrisburg, trying to get the nerve to walk into the Shear Delight Hair Salon. He had never been inside such a place—had never even noticed them before—and he felt a little terrified. He could see women of all ages seated in chairs with large plastic capes around them. Some were sitting under enormous metal globes. He walked past one more time, steeling himself, took a deep breath, and went inside.

The receptionist took one look at this tall, lanky Plain man with a black hat on and her mouth fell open. As she recovered herself she blurted out, “Here for a trim?”

“No!” Jonah answered, flustered. “No . . . I’m here to see, um, Robin and Ally.” He pointed to them toward the back of the long room.

“They’re with clients right now. Have a seat and I’ll tell them you’re here.”

Jonah sat down next to an elderly woman with blue-ish colored hair. The woman kept staring at Jonah. He was accustomed to stares by the English, but he felt his cheeks grow warm. Or maybe it was the sour stink of the place. He had never smelled such toxic fumes before; they made his eyes start to water. He thought the smell of a hog farm was the worst smell on earth, but this hair salon was inching it out. He picked up a magazine, opened it, and quickly dropped it back on the table when he saw the contents in it. He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them, then rubbed his hands together, then tried to look out the window. The blue-haired woman continued to stare at him.