The Search for Ball Zero (28 page)

One video showed King, Big Flea and Les
fighting the 2 sets of Tall and Short. The Captain smiled when Les
died and laughed out loud when Big Flea’s head got chopped off.
Then came the end of that video, with the stomping of the last
Tall’s head. The video ended, the last frame was a lot of static,
and some of King’s foot, but also showed King’s face, full of
rage.

The Captain slowly got up and even more
slowly walked towards the main

screen, the video was still paused. He got
up to the video and looked at King in the eyes. He pointed to
King’s face on the screen and said,”Fuck you, you shit eating..”
Then growled the last part,”Animal!!”

“
Next.” He then said
calmly.

The next video popped on screen. It was
Short speeding through a crowd of Monkeys and Primates, unloading
volleys of taser darts, tasing dozens of them. A gorilla then
bounded into view and the screen cut out.

The next video was from a Tall. He was
running behind the Short, stepping on tased monkeys with his spiked
feet. Bloody steps, killing one Monkey or Primate with each
step.

The Captain liked that,”Spiked feet. That
was my idea.”

On the video the Tall’s screen flickered and
the screen got partially covered with

what looked like dirt. The Tall robot
stopped running, tried to shake the dirt off it’s face and looked
up. From above the robot, hanging and standing on branches were a
bunch of Monkeys and Chimpanzees, they were pooping in their hands
and throwing at the Tall. The robot raised it’s long skinny arms to
defend against the flying poop, but the screen was bombarded and
went dark, covered in poop. A few seconds later there was a
grunting noise and the screen went to static,

“
Each of those robots is
ten billion dollars.” The Captain said. Without looking,

he pointed at the supervisor behind
him.”Kill him with his own shit.” His guards rushed and grabbed the
supervisor, dragging him off kicking and screaming.

“
Captain!” A
non-supervisor yelled out. The main screen flipped from
the

frozen video to a live shot in front of the
warstore. With Mosh Tree burning in background, there was a wave of
mostly gorillas charging at the warstore.

King was leading the charge. A V formation
followed behind him. King looked

to his left and right,”Get inside!” He
yelled, before letting out one of his infamous roars.

The Captain looked scared for the first time
since we’ve known him. He

scuffled backwards, little scared clicks of
his shoes. “Do something!” He yelled, looking back and forth. No
one wanted to make eye contact with him. He was becoming Gorman
from the scene in Aliens where he loses it in the APC. “Somebody do
something. Lock the doors!” He looked back and forth again and ran
over to who he thought was the pilot. “Run them over!” That crew
member wasn’t the pilot, but no one said anything. The real pilot
was a few crew members over, but he attempted to run them over
anyways.

The mountain of machine’s massive tank
treads began moving the Earth below

it and it heaved into motion. Gorillas
swarmed the warstore, leaping onto it from every direction.
Expertly navigating the massive tank tread’s rotating gears like
they were climbing a tree. They were all over it like a swarm of
ants taking a injured bee. All of the warstore’s instruments of war
were rendered useless.

“
Kill em!” The Captain he
said in his high pitched, spoiled brat voice. He could’ve yelled
“Mommy.” with that voice.

The tribe had broken into a warstore before,
they knew what they were doing. King had two spider monkeys riding
on him, sadly neither of them were Jimi. Another gorilla, Slash,
had more spider monkeys. King and Slash climbed up to a spot they
knew. King hung from a machine gun barrel and kicked at a vent, it
crumbled easily and the spider monkeys disappeared into it.

The Captain was standing in the cockpit,
looking at chaos on the monitors all

around him, “Return to base.” He was still
scared shitless,”Hurry!”

The warstore’s treads changed and the entire
store shifted it’s weight, it began to

turn. All the gorillas on the outside had to
grab on, a few fell off. One gorilla fell passed the main screen,
the Captain saw a straw and grasped at it.

“
Ha! Did you see that?!”
He yelled to no one “Do that again! Shake them off!”

The pilot tried to do as he said, he
accelerated, then braked quickly. Everyone in

the cockpit flew forward, including the
Captain. He fell face first into a row of computers, smashing his
nose. “Ohh!” He yelled, like a gay man in shock. He stumbled to his
feet and blood came from his nose. He grabbed at his face, and saw
blood on his hands. For a second he looked like Jim Carrey acting
like he was going to faint, except the Captain almost did.

The Captain turned and started clicking
towards the door, motioning at his guards to come with him. Just as
he almost was out of the cockpit, two spider monkeys flew by,
running past the door.

“
Ohh!” He said imitating a
shocked gay man again. “Did you see that?! Get

them! Kill those little shit monkeys!” The
guards ran into the hallway. By the time the guards turned the
corner the monkeys were fiddling with the door at the end of the
hallway about 50 feet away. The guards unleashed their guns, some
sort of custom Elohssa assault rifle that resembled an M16. After
the hail of bullets ended, one spider monkey laid dead on the
ground. The other was half way up the door, hanging onto something,
riddled with bloody holes.

The Captain turned the corner, just as the
second spider monkey’s body went

lifeless “Ha!” He yelled.

As the Captain yelled his little victory
cheer, the second spider monkey’s body

went lifeless. As his body slid and fell,
his little arms finished their job and the door clicked. A sliver
of dark surrounded the door as it opened slightly into the
warstore.

“
Close it! Close it!” He
pointed to the guards. They looked at each other for a

second, but it seemed as though the Captain
was pointing more at the one on the right so he went. The guard
crept up towards the door, not trying to make noise. After a few
seconds the Captain yelled,”Go you idiot! Faster!” The guard ran
for the door.

The guard grabbed the door and as he was
closing it, he looked over his shoulder

at the Captain like, “Look! I did it!”

The door was hit with massive force from
outside and swung in. It smashed the guard. The heavy weight of the
door made a crunching sound as it crushed the guard’s equipment and
bones. He fell dead. The silhouette of a gorilla filled the
doorway. The guard fired into the doorway. The Captain walked
backwards, almost falling, holding onto the walls as his safe
reality escaped. He scrambled backwards passed the cockpit and
motioned to all the crew members to get in the hallway. A few crew
members did what he said, others hoped the Captain would die a
torturous death.

“
Hurry!” the Captain
yelled. He grabbed the last security guard by the collar, turned a
corner and clambered down the hall with the guard in tow. The end
of the hallway was his office. “You stay here!” He told the guard.
Then took his gun and entered his office, locking the door behind
him. The guard looked around and shook his head.

King looked in the open doorway and stepped
through. In front of him were 5 or 6 unarmed teenage crew members,
looking at him in awe, probably only 1 had clean pants now. He
walked towards them, they parted without words. Slash entered
behind him, looking around. He found and took the M16 from the
guard King killed with the door.

King looked around the corner and saw the
second guard, standing, looking confused, also unarmed in the
hallway.

Inside the Captains office, he was in his
chair, back against the far wall. He was

shaking and holding the M16 like an amatuer,
pointing it at the closed door of his office.

He was on speaker with Elohssa HQ, “Send
reinforcements! NOW!”

The speaker squawked with static. A low
voice said something about using Tall and Short. The next warstore
deployment was tomorrow.

He bashed his fists on his desk, “Save me!
NOW!”

There was a knock on his office door. He
unloaded at the door. Holding down the trigger yelling “FUCK YOU
MONKEYS!!!” The door was littered with holes, blood seeped through
a few holes. The Captain laughed. “HAHA. Yea, you want some more!?”
Then gunfire ripped through the door from the other side. The
Captain fell off his chair, scared and looking for cover behind his
desk. He fired back.

The door moved. Then the door was kicked. It
was riddled with holes and barely on its hinges anymore. The
Captain saw some fur through one of the bigger holes and unloaded
his M16 again, blood sprayed from the fur. The Captain laughed
again and his M16 clicked when he pulled the trigger. Out of
ammo.

The door slowly opened and the fur he
thought he saw was actually hair on his guard’s head. The last
guard dropped dead through the door as the door opened fully.

King had to duck to enter the office.

Click, Click. Click.

“
Fuck!” The Captain
yelled! He scrambled to open his desk and yelled into the speaker,
“They’re here! The fucking monkeys are here! HELP!”

King hovered over him and growled. The
Captain pulled a pistol out of his

desk, swinging it at King. King caught his
hand and squeezed, snapping it in multiple places.

The Captain screamed in pain and yelled into
the speaker, “The fucking monkeys are here. Hurry!”

King grabbed the Captain’s face, kind of
like how a grandma would grab a baby’s face, thumb on one side,
fingers on the other. He growled,“Not Monkey!” King squeezed,
stretching the Captain’s face skin and squishing his lips out. The
Captain pounded on King’s massive arms fruitlessly. He tried to say
something through his squished lips. King squeezed slowly like a
vice, not in a hurry. The skin on the Captain’s face stretched to
its maximum and began to tear around his jaw. The Captain’s eyes
closed in agony and his mouth made some unintelligible noise. King
could feel teeth popping out in the Captain’s mouth. Blood poured
from under the Captain’s jaw. King kept closing the vice, he felt
lips separating from face. The ripping was loud enough he could
hear it. The Captain gurgled. King stopped squeezing and pulled
slowly. With a terrible tearing sound, the Captain’s face slowly
separated from his head. Tendons stretched and snapped. King used
his leg to hold the Captain’s body in his seat while his face
separated. Blood poured from the other side of the Captain’s face.
With a final pull King ripped off the Captain’s face. His jaw was
partially broken and loose teeth danced on his bloody tongue as his
skinless face screamed and twisted. His eyes were still in his
head, but without any eye lids. Blood poured over his eyes,
painting his vision red. He saw his own face and tried to scream,
but what came out was a loud gurgle.

He wasn’t dead. Blood was pouring from his
forehead over the white skinless

skull of his brow. His nose was a bloody,
bubbly black hole. King took his foot off the Captain’s chest,
stood back and held up the Captain’s face. The Captain kept
screaming and gurgling, he reached up and touched his bloody mess
that used to be a face and tried to stand up. Teeth fell out of his
head as he stood up and wavered like a crazed movie monster.

“
Grg, My.. Blrg Faaayce!”
The Captain yelled, hands up at his face as he stumbled around like
a bloody Home Alone poster. King politely stepped out of his way as
the Captain stumbled by. He saw his reflection in a monitor and
screamed even more maniacally. He tried leaving the cockpit, he had
to walk down the hallway where all his crew was gathered. He walked
like a zombie through the hallway, holding onto the walls to not
fall over, stopping to scream every few steps. It was awkward for
the crew members, their asshole boss with his face ripped off
falling around in front of them. None of them wanted to help
though, they all knew he was an Evil Dick. A female member turned
around, disgusted by the faceless monster. As he walked by, one of
the crew members couldn’t help it and started laughing. The Captain
stopped in front of the laughing crewman and looked at him. The
crew member held in his laugh, barely. Then the Captain let out the
a miserable and desperate scream. He stumbled towards the door
again. He stopped screaming for a second, opened the outer door,
stepped out and started screaming again.

As he stumbled out someone cheered,”Fuck
that guy!” It was the last words the Captain heard.

He was standing on the outer walkway at the
top of the warstore. Slash stepped through the doorway. The Captain
turned towards Slash, and let out a new sounding scream. Slash had
the M16 and let the Captain stand there screaming for a few long
moments, then fired a burst and the Captain’s faceless head
exploded mid scream. Brain flew out the back of his head like a
confetti cannon into the dark night behind them. The scream quickly
descended back to a gurgle, and the body started to lose balance. A
piece of brain slid out from his shattered skull like it was on a
blood waterslide and slapped the walkway. His body flopped down
next to it.

King and Slash stood near the outer door at
the top of the warstore. Looking out

into the night, almost their entire tribe
was dead, Mosh Tree was gone, but on the other hand, now they had a
warstore.

Throughout the night the tribe counted their
losses. A pair of Tall and Short had gotten loose in the tribe
hallways and wreaked havoc. They did almost as much damage as the
warstore. Tall ripped the hollow trees with it’s spikey feet and
short zipped through the hallways. This short was equipped with a
flame thrower. Together they destroyed all the tribe’s trees and
most of their underground hallways. The rest of the tribe decided
to gather in the garage.