The Secret Crush (7 page)

I fought back the tears welling in my eyes. “I used to see Hazel every week. I brought her a few things from the thrift shop. A blanket, an old jacket, things like that. I’d always bring her peanut butter and honey sandwiches. They were her favorite. I’d pack two, giving her the second before I left, telling her she couldn’t eat the other one until morning, but as soon as I’d turn to leave she’d rip into the baggie and have half of it gone before I was out of earshot. When I came back sophomore year, I looked for her, but never found her. One of the local shopkeepers told me they thought she got a spot at a shelter over in Bentmore, across town. I always hoped it was true, and that they let her eat as many sandwiches as she wanted.”

He reached over and placed his hand atop mine, giving it a squeeze. “And that’s why you’ll continue to be the girl of my dreams, Hadley.”

We sat side by side for a while, our shoulders touching and his hand in mine. Neither of us said anything as I remembered sweet Hazel. After a bit, I tilted my head and rested it on his shoulder, surprised at how comfortable this all felt.

“I have to ask you something, Hadley.”

“Okay.”

“Do you remember who you told about Hazel at that party?”

I thought back, but no one came to mind. I remembered being at the party and leaving the party, but I didn’t actually remember talking to anyone about what happened. “No,” I admitted.

He sighed. “That’s why I can’t tell you who am yet. When I finally tell you, I don’t want to be some faceless memory of a guy you once knew. I want you to look at me and imagine us together. Imagine our possibilities. I want your face to light up when you see me come into a room rather than just have your eyes sweep past me. Do you understand that?”

“I get your concerns. Really, I do. But if you were to take off your mask right now, my eyes would light up. I would have a smile that spread from ear to ear. I promise.”

He reached up, unwrapping the scarf he wore from around his neck. He swirled it around my own, immediately blanketing me in warmth. It smelled like him: a unique blend of leather and soap and the earth that reminded me of horseback riding or something. It was a bit spicy, but not enough to crinkle my nose. It was…mouthwatering.

My thoughts shifted when his thumb caressed my cheek. My eyes searched in the dark, trying to see through his masked face, searching for answers, but he was still hidden by too many shadows to recognize any features.

He lifted my face with both of his hands, and my breath stilled. He held my face in his hands for a full minute as we had an unspoken conversation. My eyes begged him to kiss me. To end the game. To trust me.

From the tiny movements at the corner of his mouth, he seemed to be warring with himself. His mouth would open slightly before he clamped it shut again. Tiny frowns followed by the tip of his tongue darting out, licking his bottom lip.

I wanted so badly to ask him what he was thinking. To say aloud the thoughts that were screaming in my head, but I didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. It was like coaxing out a skittish kitten. I was too nervous that he was on the verge of admitting all, and I’d somehow say something that would make him change his mind.

His thumb continued to caress my cheek while he did all this, igniting a need deep within me. An ache that spread from my core out. The movement was soft while his hands held me so firmly. His thumb moved to my mouth, brushing my lower lip. I wanted his touch. His possession of me. His mouth on mine. Sweet lord, did I want his mouth on mine.

The ache deepened as he held me and I wanted to groan. Need moved from simmer to a slow boil, making me squirm in my seat.

“Please,” I whispered, so low I barely heard it myself.

As if in answer to my plea, he leaned closer, and my eyes slid shut. He pressed his lips to mine, softly at first but them firmer, claiming me. Possessing me. His tongue slipped against the seam of my lips, and I opened, granting him access. He groaned, the rumble vibrating off him as his tongue dipped into my mouth, swirling with my own. He tasted like cinnamon—spicy and hot.

My body warmed from the center out as we kissed, like I’d just drunk a hot cup of tea or something. It spread through me until it reached my fingertips and toes. The further it spread, the more the world disappeared, until it was just the two of us. Nothing else existed besides his lips on mine, his tongue swirling with my own, his hands on me.

My body melted into him, pressing my mouth harder against his, seeking more. I couldn’t be close enough. I needed more.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands slid down the length of my body and around my waist until he lifted me up and placed me on his lap, so I straddled him.

I could feel the evidence of how much he wanted me, and it only made me want him more. I moaned and pushed down onto him softly, but it was enough to make his fingertips press into my hips.

“Fuck, Hadley,” he moaned, deepening our kiss.

“Don’t stop,” I begged, wrapping my hands around him tighter, clinging to his shirt and wishing I could run my fingers through his hair.

The kiss lasted a lifetime, consuming every part of me. It was powerful, fusing us together until at last I broke free, breathing hard as my heart pounded in my chest.

“Wow,” I breathed, still trying to steady myself.

His hand reached up, tucking my hair behind my ear. I leaned into his hand, not ready to lose contact with him just yet. He lifted me off his lap and stood, taking a deep, calming breath before coming back to me and kissing me briefly again.

He took two steps back, lifting my hand to his lips before kissing the center of my palm. “Soon. I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

He didn’t say anything else as he backed away, leaving me alone on the dock.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

M
Y HEART RACED, AND IT
had nothing to do with the mile jog I’d just taken.

It had everything to do with Hadley. And that kiss.

My God—the kiss was spectacular. It had been so hard to walk away from her. From those amazing lips. I honestly had no idea how I’d found the will to take those steps in the opposite direction when everything in me screamed to move closer.

I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me as steam filled the space. When I had the idea to become Hadley’s secret crush, I had no idea how hard it would be.

By the time the water turned cold, I knew I couldn’t keep doing this. Having her and yet not really having her. Tasting her in tiny, stolen moments. It wasn’t enough. I needed to tell her, if for no other reason than I was pretty sure my dick would revolt or something if I continued to tease myself this way.

But God, was it worth it. The sweet taste of her lips lingered on mine, making my body ache once again.

I’d made my decision. I was moving my timetable. By Friday, she’d know everything. She’d know who I was.

The thought was terrifying and liberating.

I just prayed I still felt the same way on Saturday.

CHAPTER TWELVE

I PRACTICALLY FLOATED BACK TO
my dorm where Piper was waiting for me. I used my keycard to enter and plopped down on the bed beside her, unable to wipe the cheesy grin from my face.

“Oh my God. You guys made out!”

I flipped over to evade her knowing and smug smirk. “How did you know? I thought you said you weren’t going to come and spy on us.”

She pointed her finger at me. “Let’s see. Glazed over eyes, swollen lips, smile from ear to ear, and you’re wearing a scarf I know you didn’t leave with. Are you hiding a hickey under there?” She pulled at the scarf, but I held it firmly.

“Okay, fine. Yes, we may have kissed a little. But there’s no hickey, I swear.”

Piper didn’t look convinced. “So did he tell you who he was?”

“No,” I admitted meekly.

“Wait a minute. You’ve now kissed a guy—twice—without even knowing his name? Or anything about him, basically.”

I bit my lip. “Basically… yeah.”

She sat down next to me. “Sweetie. That’s messed up.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. I swore to myself when I drove there that I’d get it out of him. I’d make him tell me. And I wouldn’t kiss him again until I knew who he was.” I sighed, dropping my head in my hands. “But I swear, it’s like he casts some magic spell on me or something when I’m near him. In that moment, I didn’t care that I didn’t know his name. It didn’t matter. I just wanted him to kiss me. Hell, I practically begged him to.”

Piper sighed heavily. “He’s a Slytherin, isn’t he? Damn it. I knew you shouldn’t have gone alone. Not without your wand.”

A laugh bubbled out of me until tears pricked the corners of my eyes. It was exactly what I needed to get out of my head for a minute. I was really stressed and needed to remember to laugh more.

“Can I just tell you what an amazing kisser he is? Seriously. Ten out of ten. This wasn’t like last time. This wasn’t a peck. This was a full-on, sweep-me-off-my-feet and make me swoon kiss. I’m pretty sure my panties would have burst into flames if he’d gone any further. And that’s actually pretty sad on my end because all we did was kiss.” I shook very naughty and lusty thoughts out of my head. “Okay. Enough about me.”

“Um, we barely got started on you.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll come back to it. Tell me about how it went on your end? Please tell me you narrowed it down further.”

Piper nodded. “Well, sort of. As soon we hung up the phone, I started running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I stalked Facebook, Instagram, and freakin’ SnapChat pages while simultaneously running all over this campus. I hit the Beanery, the gym, and finally sweet-talked my way into two of the guys’ dorms.”

“Only two?”

“It was a slow day,” she deadpanned.

“Obviously.”

“Anyway, JT was behind the counter at the Beanery, so he’s out. Aiden and De’Andre were at the gym lifting weights, so they’re out. Carter was at the library in a study group for chem. Neither Caleb, Ethan or Davis were at their dorms, but I’ve saved the best news for last. I asked around and found out that Brent had checked into the movie theater on FourSquare with a few of his frat brothers. I called the house and asked for him, pretending to be his mom, and they confirmed he was at the movies. But just to be triple sure, I called the theater because this guy who has the hots for me works there and always gives me free popcorn and stuff. Anyway, I asked him to go and snap a picture proving Brent was there. And he did.”

She held out her phone to me, showing me a photo of a squinting and confused Brent, who looked pissed to be getting his picture taken. Relief flooded through me, knowing unequivocally that Brent was not my crush. And as the realization set in, hope swelled. Yes, I still had no idea who my crush was, but I knew who it wasn’t—and that made a world of difference.

“So what are we down to? Five possibilities now?”

Piper’s eyes looked up as she thought, holding up her fingers and counting on them. “Four, I think. Ethan, Davis, Caleb, and Brendon.”

“I think we can probably eliminate Davis,” I surmised.

“You think?”

“Well, Davis is a huge flirt. I think if he were interested in me, he probably would just come out and say something. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’re much more his type.”

She beamed at my statement. I knew how much she liked him, and while she’d never say anything to me, it would really upset her if Davis were only flirting with her to get closer to me.

“Besides, Davis isn’t nearly as tall or broad as my crush. He’s too lean.”

Piper bit the end of her pen as she crossed her legs Indian-style on the bed. “So Ethan, Brendon, or Caleb then. Unless it turns out to be some random dude you’ve only talked to like three times in your entire life.”

“I don’t think that’s likely.”

“I don’t either, but I’m also not about to completely rule out the possibility. Expect the unexpected and all that other reality TV stuff.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. It may be some random dude, too.”

“Who do you want it to be?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

She shook her head. “No, I mean, think about it for a minute. Close your eyes and imagine him standing in front of you. He takes off his mask. Now whose face makes you smile?”