The Secret Ingredient (14 page)

And she would be needy no more. Andie had to grow up and start to rely on herself. She would find her own place, make her own life. She would ‘extricate' herself from Ross, from needing him in her life in order to be a whole person. And if he really wanted her back, things were going to have to change. There would be compromises, many compromises. More than anything, he was going to have to find a way to make her trust him again. That was his responsibility. From now on, Andie only had a responsibility to herself.

Donna was obviously stunned. ‘I don't understand . . . when did all this happen?'

Andie had arrived at the shop early so she could use the internet to start searching for accommodation. Donna was coming in at ten, and Andie had decided the subterfuge had to end. She had to be upfront . . . well, as upfront as was prudent. She wasn't going to tell Donna all the gory details, especially not the part about walking in on Ross and the woman.

‘You're protecting him,' Jess said when she filled her in on her plans.

‘Only from Toby,' Andie insisted. ‘He doesn't need any encouragement to hunt Ross down and . . .'

‘Punch his lights out?' Jess suggested. ‘If you ask me, it'd do Ross good.'

‘You know that's not true,' said Andie. ‘And Toby would be the one who would end up paying for it. I'm protecting Toby from himself.'

‘So what's your story going to be?'

‘I'm going to say we've been going through a bad patch. That I want a baby, and Ross doesn't – which is the truth – so I'm taking some time to work out if I can live with that, or if it's too important to me.'

Jess was shaking her head. ‘So you're making yourself the bad guy?'

‘I don't think so,' Andie defended. ‘You know how Donna feels about babies, she'll be totally on my side.'

And she was.

‘Oh Andie, it's such a tough one. You shouldn't have to give up your dreams,' said Donna.

‘Well, Ross shouldn't be forced into something he doesn't want either.'

‘He'll come around,' Donna gave her arm a squeeze. ‘He won't be able to live without you, and he'll give in.'

‘But, I'm not trying to force his hand,' Andie explained. ‘That's not the way I want to bring a child into this world, or into the relationship. This is the best way for both of us to really work out what we want.'

‘Well, I know my fingers will be crossed,' Donna said earnestly.

‘And Donna . . . please be careful about the way you put this to Toby. You know how he feels about Ross.'

She gave Andie a knowing wink. ‘Don't you worry, I'll keep his muzzle on.'

Andie made several calls to real estate agents throughout the eastern suburbs. She'd had enough inner-city grunge, she wanted to live somewhere she could breathe the salt air, even if an actual view might be out of her price range. Her first appointment was at two this afternoon. As she drove away from the shop her phone started to ring. She didn't have it set up for hands-free, so she let it ring out, and waited to check it at the next set of red lights. She sighed. It was Meredith, of all people. She hardly ever rang Andie, and when she did it was only to complain about something. Andie really wasn't up to dealing with her now. She would have left a voicemail if it was important, Andie would check later. She had two appointments this afternoon and she was not going to be waylaid for anything.

But as soon as she pulled away from the lights the phone started to ring again. She could have kicked herself for not connecting the hands-free while she was stationary. Next red light. But typically, she didn't get another one before she arrived at the real estate agent, and the phone had rung out twice more by then. Andie parked the car and picked up the phone. It was Meredith every time. Four missed calls, only minutes apart. Her sister couldn't stand being ignored. Andie stared at her name on the screen, debating whether to call her back or just turn it off, when it rang again, startling her so she nearly dropped the phone. She fumbled to answer it, placing it to her ear. But before she could even speak, Meredith was shouting down the phone at her.

‘Why didn't you answer your phone?'

‘I was driving.'

‘So you just ignore it? I rang and rang, didn't you think it could be an emergency?'

‘That's why I pulled over,' Andie returned calmly, ‘and I was just about to call you back. Now, what's the problem?'

‘You have to get over here right away.'

‘I can't do that, Meredith, I have an appointment at —'

‘What did I just say, Andrea? This is an emergency!'

‘Well, what is it?'

‘I'm not going to tell you over the phone!'

Andie groaned silently. Meredith could be such a drama queen. ‘Okay, I'll come straight after my appointment —'

‘Andrea!' she interrupted in her best mother's voice. ‘How many times do I have to say this is an emergency?'

Meredith's idea of an emergency could be anything from one of the children not getting a test score she thought they deserved, to just about anything. Their mother was the only one who could handle Meredith, they were on the same wavelength. Andie and her dad were at a loss. And Brendan used to steer well clear.

‘Look, you're going to have to give me some clue of what this is about,' said Andie, ‘if you expect me to cancel an appointment.'

‘Fine. Let it go on the record that I didn't want to say this over the phone, but you left me no choice.'

‘Okay, it's on the record.'

There was silence down the phone line. ‘Meredith?' Andie prompted her eventually.

‘I really don't like this —'

‘Would you just spit it out!'

Andie heard a strange noise, like a strangled sob. ‘It's Dad, he died.'

She couldn't have heard that right.

‘What did you say?'

‘Exactly what you think I said,' she said tearfully. ‘Do you understand now why I didn't want to say it over the phone?'

Andie couldn't breathe. ‘Dad . . . he died?'

‘Yes.'

‘But when . . . Did this just happen? How?'

‘Look, you know what the emergency is now, do you mind if we continue this in person?'

‘Yes, yes, of course. I'll leave right away. Which hospital are you at?'

‘What? No, we're not at a hospital. Come to my house.'

‘But I want to see him, will I get the chance to see him?'

‘Andrea, just come to my house, we'll work it all out then.'

As Andie hung up the phone, tears welled in her eyes and her chest heaved. Her father was dead? She still couldn't catch her breath. How did he die? When? She was only there the other day. She began to sob, the tears pouring freely now. Her father was dead. She was never going to see him again. She should have waited for him to get home. Where had he been? Maybe the doctor had given him bad news? Maybe he'd had to go for tests, maybe he'd been admitted to hospital that very day? That's why he was gone so long. So why didn't someone call her then? Surely Meredith would have called her, she always called her. As the eldest she had insisted she be recorded as the emergency contact on all their father's important documentation. But whenever she was contacted about anything, she always palmed it off onto Andie, insisting she didn't have the time to deal with it.

So why didn't somebody call her?

She nearly drove herself mad on the way to Meredith's, trying to put together the pieces to understand what had happened, though there was no way she could until she spoke to Meredith. All she was doing was holding at bay the imminent tsunami of grief that was rising to engulf her. Her father was gone, what did it matter who called who, when, where and how? He was gone.

Andie pulled up in front of Meredith's house and rushed up to the front door, pressing impatiently on the buzzer. Neville opened it a moment later. He was a decent enough man, maybe a little dour, but who could blame him, married to her sister?

‘How are you holding up?' he asked kindly.

She shrugged. ‘I'm still in shock. I don't even know what happened.'

‘Come on through,' he said. ‘Meredith's anxious to see you.'

Andie followed him down the hall to the living room. Their home was stately and elegant, a well-preserved Federation, but the decor was stuffy and old-fashioned – drab colours and ugly florals, doilies dotted on heavy, dark furniture. Meredith was on the phone. She raised her hand and mouthed ‘Hi' when Andie appeared, then held up a finger to indicate she would be a minute.

‘Yes, we'll have to look into that,' she said into the phone.

Neville leaned in close to Andie, keeping his voice down. ‘Can I get you a cuppa?' he asked. ‘Tea or coffee?'

She nodded. ‘Tea would be great, thanks.'

She mostly drank coffee, but tea felt appropriate right now. Her parents only ever drank tea. Her mother used to imply that coffee was vaguely immoral, in the same class as cigarettes, drugs or alcohol.

Meredith hung up the phone and turned around. ‘Well, not the best circumstances,' she said, coming right up to Andie, grasping her by the shoulders and pulling her closer as she pressed their cheeks together. It was as close to a hug as Meredith was capable of. When she pulled back, her eyes were glassy.

‘So,' said Andie, ‘what happened?'

Meredith nodded gravely, leading her over to the couch. ‘Come, sit.'

Andie did as she was told, turning to face her sister, who perched herself on the edge of the couch, her back straight, her hands folded on her lap.

‘This isn't going to be easy to hear, okay?' she began.

Andie's eyes widened. ‘What?'

Meredith took a breath. ‘Dad was found in the garage. He'd been there . . . a few days, they don't know for sure. There has to be an autopsy.'

Andie's throat went dry, as the blood drained from her face. She felt dizzy. She dropped her head into her hand.

‘Neville,' Meredith called, ‘can you bring Andrea a glass of water?'

Andie didn't look up, didn't register anything until a glass materialised in her hand. She took a couple of sips, and put it down on the coffee table.

‘Are you okay?' Meredith asked her.

Andie nodded. ‘I don't understand. I was there, only the other day.'

‘When?' Meredith frowned. ‘Which day?'

‘Um . . .' She closed her eyes, tracing back through the increasingly surreal events of the past week. ‘Friday, it was definitely Friday.'

‘Really? So how did he seem to you?'

‘Oh, I didn't see him.'

‘What do you mean you didn't see him?'

‘He wasn't there, he wasn't home.'

‘Are you sure, did you check everywhere?'

‘I checked around the house, I called out for him.'

‘Did you check the garage?'

‘Why would I check the garage?'

‘Oh, I don't know, maybe because
you could have saved his life!
'

‘Meredith,' Neville cautioned, as he walked back into the room carrying a tea tray.

She looked perplexed. ‘I just don't understand, weren't you concerned?'

‘I . . . I thought he must have had a doctor's appointment,' said Andie, her voice breaking. ‘When I got there, the kettle was still warm, there was half a cup of tea on the table, toast . . .'

Neville poured the tea as Meredith sat there, wringing her hands and shaking her head. ‘Well, he did have an appointment, as it turns out, with his GP. They said they rang when he didn't show up. You didn't hear the phone?'

Andie felt addled. ‘I don't know, I don't remember.' She had been in such a state, but she wasn't going to tell Meredith about any of that right now.

‘Then yesterday,' Meredith went on, ‘he didn't turn up for another appointment, with the radiologist this time, he was booked for a scan. When he didn't arrive, they called his GP. Thank God the receptionist was on the ball. She tried Dad at home and when he didn't answer, she called me to find out where he was. Well, of course, I had no idea. I called you, but there was no answer on your home phone. At the shop they didn't seem to know where you were, and when I tried your mobile it went straight to message bank. Then I tried Dad's . . . of course there was no answer. I decided the best course of action was to call an ambulance and meet them there. They were waiting for me when I arrived.' She paused, taking a deep breath. ‘We went right through the house, looked in every room. One of the ambulance officers suggested we check the garage. I opened the door for them . . .' Her voice broke, and she covered her face with her hands.