The Secret Life of Daydreams (32 page)

Josh stood in Paulo’s kitchen, by the sliding doors to the balcony. To the west, the sun began its descent, painting streaks of color in the sky and across the building tops. Behind him, Margarida fed the baby and Paulo put the finishing touches on a salad. When the timer beeped, Josh turned inside and Paulo grabbed the pot holders and slid two square glass pans from the oven, one at a time.

“So you think Sofia’s feeling better, then?” Margarida glanced at Josh, keeping her eyes on her daughter as the baby smeared the high chair tray between them. Little Amélia was going to need a bath when done with her dinner.

Josh pulled up a chair from the table and sat down. “She is feeling better but I think she could have stayed home a couple more days. She was so anxious to go back to work.”

Margarida winced. “This has been hard for her, Josh. She’s used to being independent and caring for her mother.” She fed the baby another spoonful. “Now her mother is away and being well cared for and Sofia is ready to do something more than staying at home. Besides, she didn’t get paid while she was recovering and her mother’s care is expensive. I don’t know how she’s going to afford it.”

Josh raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t her mother have some sort of pension or something?”

Paulo opened a drawer and took out a roll of aluminum paper. “Whatever she has is not enough to cover the costs at that facility.”

“Are you sure? On the day she signed the paperwork, Sofia had me take her to the bank and said she needed to have some transfers done. She had the deposit and the first three months paid and then set up the electronic fund transfer for the monthly payments.”

Margarida stopped and looked at him. “Oh no.”

Josh held his hands up. “I wasn’t trying to pry but I was there with Sofia the whole time and couldn’t help overhear it.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She shook her head. “Sofia had a whole year of savings set aside for her doctorate degree. She’s supposed to start classes at the end of September and she needed the first six months of tuition up front.”

“And you think she used that money to pay for her mother’s care at the new center,” Josh said.

She nodded. “I know she doesn’t have any other money. That had to be it.”

“Wow.” Josh blinked. Sofia hadn’t said a word to him, hadn’t complained once. She’d just signed everything over without any hesitation, happy that her mother was in a better facility.

“She’s incredible, isn’t she?” Margarida stood and set the bowl and spoon in the sink. “She worked for over three years to get accepted into the literature program, she put money aside for even longer than that, and now she gave it all away for her mother.”

Josh had no words. Her selflessness tugged at something inside him, and the love he had for her filled his chest. How lucky he was to know her, to be her friend, and how sorry he was that he could never claim anything more than friendship.

He swallowed hard. “What happens if she doesn’t pay the tuition?”

Paulo came to the high chair and released the baby and Margarida sat at the opposite end of the table. “She’ll lose her spot.”

Not if he could help it.

Paulo wrapped the lasagna in foil and added half the salad to a plastic container, then placed them in a bag. “Here’s dinner. I’m guessing you’re sharing with Sofia?” He winked.

Josh stood and took the bag. “I convinced her to let me give her a ride to and from work for the rest of the week before she starts driving by herself.”

Margarida smiled. “Good for you.” She and Paulo followed Josh to the foyer. “Please don’t comment on the money situation. You know how independent she is.”

“Oh, I know. She’s stubborn too.”

On the way to pick Sofia up from work, Josh couldn’t stop thinking about what Margarida had said. Tomorrow he’d visit the financial office at the university. There had to be something he could do.

Sofia stood at the corner of the above-ground parking lot when Josh pulled up to find a spot to park. Indeed she was stubborn.

Josh reached across the passenger seat and opened the door to her. “Sofia, I’d prefer if you waited for me at the café so I can walk with you to the car. You didn’t have to walk this far by yourself.”

“Relax already. I was careful.” She took a deep breath and looked the other way. “Besides, ones of these days you’ll leave and I’ll go back to my regular life and won’t have any walking companions.” She glanced at him, the unasked question in her eyes.

He was leaving soon. No, he didn’t know when yet. Maybe if he could extend the visa one more time, he’d be able to stay a little longer.

But Josh didn’t have the courage to reply to her. Like the coward he was, he said nothing and kept on driving.

Sofia sighed and looked out the window. In good conscience, Josh couldn’t resent her disappointment, could he?

When they arrived at her apartment, they worked together to plate dinner. Sofia set the table and Josh placed the containers at the center and pulled back the foil and lids.

“So is Margarida feeling better then?” she asked as she sat down.

Josh smiled. “She asked me the same exact thing about you.”

Her lips curled in a small smile. “That’s funny.”

After Sofia offered the blessing on the food, Josh replied to her. “I think she’s doing a little better but aren’t evenings usually easier to tolerate?”

“Are they?”

Josh took the fork into his lasagna slice. “I seem to remember my sisters talking about it.”

“That’s right; you have older sisters.”

“Five of them.”

She stopped and set her fork back down. “You have five older sisters?”

Josh chuckled. He’d seen a lot of that same reaction when he was a missionary. Most families in Portugal didn’t have more than a couple of children, three at the most. “Laureanne, Kimberly, Heather, Tiffany, and Ashley.”

“Are all of them married?”

“All married and with children.” And he was the only one divorced. Jaded as he was about relationships, at least his sisters had married well and were happy.

“I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister or a brother,” Sofia said in a wistful tone.

“It means you’re never alone.” He took another bite, then continued. “I can’t imagine not having any sisters. It was crazy and fun. But mostly crazy.” Maybe it was time to see his family again. It had been too long. He’d have to read Laureanne’s email again for the details to Grandpa Conrad’s birthday party.

Sofia rested her chin on her hand. “And I can’t imagine such a house full of kids.”

Josh set down his fork and leaned back in his chair. “Don’t you like large families?”

“I have no idea if I do or not. There’s no frame of reference. But the social and cultural situations in Portugal are different, even for members of the church. Not to mention the economic burden of having a large family.”

It would never be a burden, he wanted to say. Whatever size family she wanted, she could have. With him.

Josh nodded and took a large bite of his food to keep his mouth full and from saying something he shouldn’t.

When Sofia was done, Josh carried the plates to the sink and started washing. She pulled a clean dishtowel from a drawer and dried and put away the clean dishes.

“Do you have plans to go visit your mother this week?”

“Tomorrow or the day after.” She stacked the plates in the cupboard. “I need to fill the gas tank first.”

Why couldn’t she just ask for his help?

“You know, I actually have a job in Guimarães.” As of now he did. “Would you ride along with me?”

Sofia reached for a glass and rubbed it with the cloth. “Won’t that set you back?”

“I’m not on a schedule for this one. I can drop you off and then you call me when you’re ready.” He could find something to photograph there and he’d wait, no matter how long she needed.

“If you’re sure.”

Josh finished the washing and wiped his hands. “Absolutely sure.”

“Okay, I’ll ride with you. Thank you.”

She turned back to the cupboard and busied herself straightening the glasses, lifting them and putting them back in the exact same places as before.

A stalling technique. Maybe she wanted him to stay a little longer as much as he did. All they needed was an excuse.

Josh cleared his throat. “Did you see my latest images for the travel series?”

“No, I didn’t.” Even facing away from him, the smile in her voice was evident. She closed the cupboard.

“I have them on my laptop.”

“Okay, show me.” She walked ahead of him to the living room and sat down on the couch.

Josh grabbed his laptop and sat next to her. He wouldn’t stay too long; he wanted her to rest after all. But he missed those days after she came home from the hospital when he’d stayed over. He missed the closeness between them.

When the computer turned on, a series of notifications pinged.

“Looks like you have some messages,” Sofia said.

Over twenty notifications on instant message. “That’s odd. I don’t remember seeing anything on my phone.” He reached in his pocket and drew it out. Dead. “I forgot to charge it.”

“Are you going to see what it is?” Sofia asked. “It could be important.” She got up and walked down the hallway.

He logged on to his account and immediately Heather came on. Of all his sisters, she was the most laid back. A tinge of worry passed through him. Heather always sent him emails, not instant messages.

Josh, where have you been? We’ve been trying to reach you.

Forgot to charge my phone.

And you don’t have access to email either?

I’ve been busy. Are you going to tell me why you need to reach me?

You don’t need to get all prickly about it. We were all worried.

Why, Heather? What’s going on?

Grandpa Conrad had a heart attack.

No. Josh straightened his back and leaned forward over the laptop.
How bad is it?

I haven’t gone to see him yet. He’s at the university hospital.

Sterling Conrad had always been so active, so much larger than life in everything he did. It was hard to think of him in a hospital bed.

Josh, you still there?

Yes.

He’s asked to see you. How soon can you be home?

Utah wasn’t home to him anymore, but Heather wouldn’t understand that. None of them would.

I’ll get on it right away, but give me a couple days to make it back.

Okay, keep us posted.

I will.

After logging off, Josh checked the other messages and the emails from his family, all saying the same thing. Then he navigated to an airline website and bought a ticket from Porto to Salt Lake City.

The time to leave had come sooner than he’d planned.

* * *

Sofia made her way back to the living room after a few minutes. She’d wanted to give Josh some privacy to find out the reason for all the messages and, from the deep crease on his forehead, it wasn’t good news. She hovered at the door.

Josh lowered the screen on his laptop and raised his eyes to her. The wrinkle faded a little when he smiled, but his expression was heavy with worry.

He blew out a breath, then patted the place next to him. “You didn’t have to leave, but thank you.”

She sat next to him, not knowing what to expect, but he raised his arm over her shoulders and pulled her in. Her favorite place to be—next to his heart.

If she were stronger, she’d stay away from him. But there wouldn’t be too many more chances to be in Josh’s arms, and maybe she just wanted to give in to her weakness for him a little longer.

“How bad is it?” She found the courage to ask.

Josh pulled away from her and leaned forward on his knees, rubbing his eyes. “My grandpa Conrad had a heart attack.”

Oh no. “I’m so sorry, Josh.”

“He’s at the hospital,” he hurried to say, “and he’s asked to see me.”

“Yes, of course.” She’d always known Josh would be leaving, but that didn’t make it any easier on her aching heart. “When are you leaving?”