The Secret She Kept (11 page)

“Tell them we’re getting married,” he said.

It was the wrong thing to say. That was clear from the frown on Savannah’s face.

“I am never getting married again.” She emphasized every word to make sure he got the point.

He got it.

“Joke. Down, girl. You think I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life?”

The image that flooded his mind as soon as he uttered the words was…alluring as hell, actually. Savannah in some drapey see-through lingerie, waking up slowly as he lay next to her, watching. Waiting. Ready to sate them both.

Every day.

For the rest of his life.

The idea didn’t really suck. For a guy who’d never planned to get married himself, and who had a boatload of other problems to work out, that was saying something. Something he didn’t care to ponder.

“And why aren’t you getting married again?” Not that he was honestly considering marrying her.

“I’m too controlling.”

Her reply was a cross between flippant and threatening, although Jake didn’t feel the least bit threatened.

“Nah,” he said. He and Savannah would never have the problems she and Michael had had because Jake would never lie down and take it.

No. He and Savannah would never have the problems she and Michael had
because they would never get married
.

J
AKE WASN’T SURE WHAT
to expect when he laid eyes on his dad today. Dean had gone noticeably downhill between Jake’s first visit and the night he and Savannah had stopped by. There had only been a week between those occasions.

Jake didn’t slow down as he got to the door of his father’s room. He’d done plenty of hesitating earlier, but Emily had convinced him this might be his last chance to talk to their dad. Jake was going back to Montana tomorrow and wouldn’t return to Lone Oak until Friday, when he would finalize the deal with Zach. His grandma had insisted on putting Jake’s name on the agreement, as well, in case anything happened to her.

“Jake,” his dad said in a steady, strong voice when he entered the room.

“Dad.” He pulled up a chair near the head of the bed, relieved to see him so alert. “How you doing today?”

“Not too bad. Haven’t had to have as much morphine.” He looked better than he had on Monday, just five days earlier. He seemed more alert. His eyes focused better, his coloring was not so pale, and his speech was clearer, more confident.

Jake nodded. He leaned his elbows on his knees and tried to think of something to talk about. What, exactly, did you say to your father during possibly your last conversation ever? Pressure built in Jake’s head.

“Been doing a lot of thinking lately,” his dad said. “Guess that’s normal when you’re in the position I’m in.”

“I suppose it is. What have you been thinking about?”

Dean turned toward the window and stared out at the changing leaves. The trees were showing off yellows, oranges and reds bright enough to rival any sunset.

Jake watched as his dad’s expression saddened, couldn’t ignore his almost translucent skin. Once again he found it hard to believe this was the hearty man who used to let nothing slow him down, let nothing get in the way of his work.

“Rennie.”

The single word, his mother’s name, made Jake’s head pound even more, and something in his chest catch. They had never really discussed her and what she’d done. Jake wasn’t altogether sure he wanted to now. But he waited for his dad to say more. If a dying man wanted to talk about something, the least Jake could do was listen.

Dean relaxed his neck and rested his head back against the raised mattress. He finally spoke.

“I’ve never forgiven her. All the years since she swallowed too many pills, and I’ve held on to the anger.” He shook his head slowly, then met Jake’s gaze with watery eyes. “I’ve let it eat me up, become a part of me.”

“I was mad at her, too.”

“Tough not to be. But I should’ve gotten over it. Should’ve forgiven her. Instead, I became fixated on how her suicide affected me, what it did to make my life worse. Hell, I didn’t know what to do with you kids. I didn’t know how to manage the home. Your mother handled all that.”

“She did everything.” She’d done it to a fault, too. The house had always been spotless. Meals cooked every evening, kept warm on the nights when his dad worked late. Jake had sometimes wondered if the complete lack of support from her husband had contributed to his mother’s inability to keep on living.

“And I let you handle everything after she was gone, because I was too busy being mad.” Dean was quiet for a long moment, gazing at the ceiling, looking pained. “I told you the other day that I’m sorry, but that doesn’t really scratch the surface.”

Jake nodded. “I understand.”

“I don’t believe you do, Jake. I’ve never been one to focus on regret, but this is tearing me up.” He paused again, fighting to maintain his composure. “I’ve wasted my life on being angry. I wonder…” He swallowed, then closed his eyes. “I wonder how things could’ve been different if I’d just forgiven her and moved on.”

Jake regarded him as the words hit home. Pondering his youth, he wouldn’t have to stretch his imagination to see his dad had been pissed at the world. Or rather, at his late wife. “Regret won’t do anything for you.”

“I know, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about your mother day and night.”

“So have you forgiven her now?” Jake asked quietly.

His dad made eye contact. “I have. At last.”

“How do you suddenly forgive someone you’ve been mad at for almost twenty years?”

The older man attempted a smile, but his face seemed out of practice. “Part of it is just making up your mind to do it. To let the issue go. I finally figured I couldn’t do a damn thing about my wife taking her own life.”

“Just like that?”

“It wasn’t just like that, necessarily. I talked a lot with your sister. She told me how she got through it over the years, how she tried to understand what it must’ve been like to feel the way your mom did. Emily’s the most forgiving of all of us, without a doubt. Maybe it’s a female thing.”

“Could be.”

“Speaking of females, tell me about the one you had with you the other night.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

His dad stared him down. “I don’t believe that for a minute. There was an awful lot of tension between you two.”

Tension. Yeah, there was that. Always had been. “We’ve known each other forever.”

Dean nodded, still watching him. “And?”

“I don’t know what to say. That’s about it.”

“I could tell you two like each other.”

Jake chuckled. “I don’t know that
like
is the right word.”

“No, there was more than that. You two have a fight before you came in?”

When didn’t they? “We have kind of an ongoing disagreement.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Probably, but that’s the way it is.”

“Maybe you could work through it.”

“You don’t know anything about it,” Jake said with irritation.

“That’s because you’re not telling me about it.”

“None of it matters, because ultimately I’ll be going back to Montana and Savannah is staying here.”

With our child.

Damn, leaving Allie after he’d just found her was going to be hard. He’d have to make a point of e-mailing and calling regularly. They had to tell her the truth before then, though; otherwise she would wonder why he paid her so much attention from across the country.

“You have a decent life out there?” his dad asked.

“I like it. I have a nice piece of land and I’m building my company up.”

His dad looked at him tiredly, concern in his eyes.

“What?” Jake asked.

Dean shook his head. “Just don’t want you to be as unhappy as I’ve been. I hope I haven’t made you that way.”

“What’s to be unhappy about? I told you my life is good.”

“I’ve told myself that same thing countless times.”

He was
not
like his father. Would never let himself be.

Jake stood abruptly, then checked himself. He couldn’t rush out of here, not tonight. He inhaled slowly. “Dad. I’m glad we talked. I’m…glad I came home.”

“Me, too.” Dean blinked, then smiled wanly. “Take care of yourself, Jacob.”

Jake couldn’t speak around the lump in his throat, so he put his hand over his father’s bony one and squeezed gently. “I’ll be back in less than a week.”

His dad nodded, though neither of them could voice their fears that he wouldn’t make it that long.

T
HE VIEW FROM
J
AKE’S DECK
was killer. Mountains in the distance, green rolling hills in every direction, a picturesque stream in the valley. This was what had made him fall in love with Montana.

He leaned on the railing for a few minutes as he got his morning caffeine fix. He probably couldn’t afford these few minutes—they were pushing hard this week, working overtime to get Clayton’s house finished before their deadline. Weather predictions were for frequent, deep snows during the upcoming winter and Jake intended to have everything done before they had to break for the weather. Fortunately, snow hadn’t slowed them down yet. His crew had done a hell of a job while he’d been gone, and that was thanks to his right-hand man, Scott Turgeon. Jake would give him a healthy bonus once this project was pulled off.

He finished his coffee and took the mug into the kitchen. The room was currently cramped and closed off from the main living areas, but Jake had plans to remodel just as soon as his finances loosened up a bit. They’d loosen up nicely with the completion of Clayton’s home, but until he landed more big projects, he’d have to pace himself.

Ten minutes later he was in his truck on the way to the job site. Fortunately, it was only about thirty miles from his own property, so he was able to stay at his place. As he turned onto the main road, his cell phone rang. He pulled over because the signal in those parts often faded in and out.

When he clicked off the phone less than three minutes later, he had to stifle the urge to get out of the truck and dance for joy.
Holy shit.
It was the call he’d been waiting for, for what had seemed like forever. Tony Clayton had been pleased with their work so far and had passed on Jake’s name to his rich friends. Martin Fredericks, an in-demand movie producer, would like to meet.

Jake couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. This was it, the beginning of what he’d wanted to accomplish. All he had to do was sit down with Fredericks one on one and show him some of the plans they could modify for him. The guy was presold, thanks to Clayton, and was ready to move ahead. He’d mentioned hoping to break ground as early as possible in the spring.

Things were definitely improving. Jake’s goals were within reach.

Once on the gravel road that led to the job site, he noticed four horses in a meadow to his left. Allie would get a kick out of them. One was almost identical to the horse in the drawing she’d given him the day he’d found out he was her father.

Suddenly, the twelve hundred miles between them made her seem a world away. He missed her and her brother. Sure, Jake was returning to Lone Oak this weekend—in fact, he’d left his motorcycle there and flown to Montana because he couldn’t afford to waste the two days of driving each way—but that was only temporary. He was a long distance from his little girl. He thought about how much his sister had changed since he’d seen her, even though she was an adult. At her age, Allie would change even more rapidly, and he didn’t want to miss a minute of it.

He glanced in his rearview mirror at the horses again. Allie would absolutely love it out here. He had enough land that he could get a horse. There was a barn on his property that was currently unused. It would just require some minor work.

His heart pounded faster as he thought about the possibilities. He’d been joking when he’d suggested marriage to Savannah, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. In fact, it sounded like a beneficial option for everyone. He’d have his daughter close, Savannah could work for his company if she wanted to, her kids could have horses and the whole outdoors as their playground. Montana was an excellent place to live, to raise a family.

He swallowed hard. Did he really think that?
Raise a family?

He might not be used to the idea, but he
was
a dad. He was determined to be an involved dad, and that was hard from twelve hundred miles away.

As he drove into the job site, he knew exactly what he planned to do. He planned to convince Savannah to marry him and move to Montana. For certain, he had his work cut out for him, but he couldn’t abandon his company now, and he couldn’t stand to be so far away from Allie.

S
AVANNAH KNEW
J
AKE WAS
in the conference room. Zach had told her they were signing the final paperwork for their deal today. Savannah had been picking up her kids when he would’ve arrived. Now she was hyperaware of the voices that carried out to the main office. Every once in a while she heard Jake’s laugh, and she tried to ignore it.

The truth was she’d thought about him too much during the week he’d been in Montana. The kiss they’d shared the weekend before had done a number on her, even though she’d reminded herself repeatedly that it had been nothing but an accident. Chemistry did not make a relationship. Nor did she want it to.

The laughs were louder and nonstop now, as if the group was finishing up the meeting. Savannah glanced at the kids, who were on the floor between the desks, then busied herself and pretended she couldn’t care less that Jake was there. The conference room door opened and her traitorous eyes zoned in on it.

Zach, the lawyer who’d drawn up the agreement, Mrs. Levine and Jake emerged, all of them smiling and joking, clearly happy with the deal they’d just sealed. Jake’s gaze sought out Savannah, and she had trouble looking away. Those brown eyes of his crinkled at the corners, drawing her in, and his smile was the real one, the one that could knock her flat.

She forced her attention to the bills she was paying on her computer.

“It’s official,” Zach said to her. “The Colonial Acres development is on its way.”

Her brother-in-law beamed, appearing happier than he had since his wedding day. Savannah couldn’t resist standing and giving him a hug of congratulations. This was big for him, for Heartland. He’d had other projects since he’d opened the company, but this was the largest by far.

As she released Zach, she caught Jake watching her with a certain expression in his eyes, as though he wanted
his
chance to wrap his arms around her. She shivered and turned her focus to Odessa Levine.

“Congratulations to you,” she told the older woman. “It sounds like you have some unique ideas for the development.”

Mrs. Levine grasped her hand and smiled. “Thank you. I certainly hope everything will work out. Jake and I have put a lot of thought into the plans. I can hardly wait to see the finished neighborhood.”

“Did I hear you’re going with a colonial style for all the houses and buildings?”

“You did. I think it’ll go nicely with my little house. I sure am happy we could build around it.”

Savannah smiled, then accidentally glanced at Jake again, who smirked as if sensing her discomfort.

“Where’re my congrats?” he asked.

“Congratulations.” She offered her hand instead of a hug. When he accepted it, the contact had just as much of an impact on her as if he’d drawn her into his arms. He held on longer than necessary. Savannah became conscious that Zach was paying too much attention to them, and pulled away.

“We’re heading to the Lazy Goat for a celebratory drink. I’d ask you to join us, but…” Zach nodded toward Allie and Logan, who were involved in a drawing and a video game, respectively.

“That’s okay. I’ve got a stack of things I’m trying to finish here, anyway. Have a drink for me.”

“We’ll catch you tomorrow night at the party, then,” Zach said.

She nodded, and couldn’t help noting how patiently Jake helped his grandmother out the door. There was something about a man as sexy as him doing something so caring and attentive. He’d be a lot easier to dislike if he were mean to old ladies.

I
T WAS STILL EARLY ENOUGH
on Friday afternoon that the Goat was dead. When Zach, Jake and his grandma walked in, only two tables were occupied.

“You’re supposed to be working, Zach,” the short, blond bartender called out. The woman was maybe a few years older than Jake and had a toughness about her, although she was perfectly at home here and could handle whatever came up, be it a bar brawl or a drunken four-hundred pounder.

“Work related,” he said. “Tough job. Kind of like standing around pouring beer for a living.”

“Hey, don’t mess with the woman in charge of the alcohol.”

Jake accompanied his grandma to the first booth against the wall. “This okay?” he asked.

“As long as I don’t have to slide far,” she answered.

He helped her lower herself onto the bench seat. When he’d invited her to join them, he’d been shocked she’d said yes. He was glad she had, though. She didn’t get out nearly enough to satisfy her active mind, and he knew the isolation would be worse once he left again. Emily tried to visit her weekly, but that still meant Odessa was alone most days.

“What’s your poison?” he inquired.

“I think some champagne is in order, don’t you?”

Jake glanced doubtfully at the bar. “We’ll see what they have. I’ll be back.”

He went up to the bar next to Zach, who was still trading insults with the bartender. “The lady would like some champagne.”

“What do you have, Heather?” Zach asked.

“I happen to have some very decent bubbly in the back. How much you want to spend?”

“As long as the stuff doesn’t taste like toilet water, I don’t care. Within reason,” he said, as she headed to the back room.

Zach sat on a stool to wait. “Your grandmother is a hell of a woman.”

Jake chuckled. “More so than I realized.” He glanced over at their table. “She’s getting into the trivia.”

TVs hung throughout the bar, and some of them were set to the trivia channel. His grandma had found the control box on the table and was attempting to figure out how to operate it. He stifled his grin and went to help her.

Zach returned to their table a few minutes later. “We don’t get the table service here but she did manage to locate some decent stuff.” He set down three champagne flutes and filled each one. “Here’s to a successful, prosperous partnership and to making Colonial Acres the best place to live in Lone Oak.”

They clinked their glasses and sipped.

“You’re right about this. It’s not bad champagne.” Jake’s grandma took another sip and edged her glass aside. “Now I’m going to figure out how to use this machine, because I happen to be a trivia queen.”

“I’m sure that’s due to reading so many books,” Jake said.

“Got that right. I’d challenge you any day.”

Zach moved around the table to stand next to her, and explained which buttons to hit and how the game worked.

“It said I could play against people in other places. Is that correct?” she asked.

“It is.”

She nodded intently. “You boys go play pool or something. I’ve got a game to win.”

Jake struggled not to laugh. “We’ll be at the pool table.” He swallowed a large sip of champagne, grimaced involuntarily and stood.

They stopped at the bar and Jake ordered a beer. “Never acquired a taste for champagne,” he admitted.

“Wager?” Zach inquired on the way to the pool table.

“Why not? Twenty bucks.” Jake selected a cue from the rack on the wall.

Zach racked and Jake broke in silence. He shot three stripes in and then missed.

Zach stepped up to the table and aimed. “So tell me something,” he said as soon as he hit the one ball into the far corner. “What’s going on between you and my sister-in-law?”

Jake was glad he wasn’t shooting when Zach asked, because he would’ve missed. “What makes you think something’s going on?”

Zach went for the three ball and then straightened. “I know Savannah pretty well. You send her into all kinds of strangeness.”

Jake grinned at that. “Ya figure she likes me?” he questioned in a joking tone.

“Haven’t decided between that and hate.” Zach finally missed a shot and Jake walked forward to catch up.

“You’ve pretty much summed up our relationship right there.” He smacked the thirteen just right and watched it roll toward the corner pocket.

“Relationship,” Zach repeated. “Interesting choice of words.”

Jake missed his next shot.

“Not sure what to call it.” Jake studied Zach, getting a little of the older-brother, don’t-mess-with-my-sister vibe. “I’ve known her since kindergarten.” He moved toward Zach and glanced around to make certain no one could hear. “You’re going to find this out eventually, anyway. Allie is my child.”

Zach had just taken a drink, and choked on the champagne. “If that’s your strategy to win the twenty bucks, it’s a damn good one.”

Jake grinned. “Afraid not.
That
is the strangeness you sense between me and Savannah.”

“Is this something her family is aware of?”

Jake guessed that Zach was wondering if Lindsey had kept Savannah’s secret from him.

“She just told her sisters. Her ex is in on it, of course. But that’s it.”

“How long have you known?”

“Less than a month.”

“Man, that’s rough.” Zach hit balls in on his next two shots. “So I wasn’t imagining the buzz between you two.”

“Buzz?”

“Attraction. Chemistry. Whatever you want to call it, it’s pretty noticeable. Now what do you plan to do?”

“Thought I’d set myself up for some rejection and ask her to marry me.”

Zach shot in the eight ball to win the game. He straightened and returned to where Jake stood, a grin on his face. “Sounds like a hell of an idea. Savannah could use someone like you in her life.”

“Tell
her
that.”

“I don’t tell that woman anything.”

“You do know her well.”

“You figure she’ll say yes?”

Jake replaced his cue on the wall and pulled out his wallet to give Zach his money. “Not without a lot of convincing. I can be very persuasive, though.”

“I wish you all the luck in the world.”

They headed back toward Jake’s grandma, who was still engrossed in her game.

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”