The Secret Wife (24 page)

The phone rang, cutting through his thoughts. He picked it up. “Stephenson here.”

“Mr. Stephenson, I’m Cathy with Industrial Supplies. I wanted to confirm our delivery for tomorrow. You’re up in Ojai, right?” She continued without waiting for an answer. “We’ll load the truck tonight and make you the first delivery. With all the traffic, you can expect to see us between ten and eleven. Is that all right?”

“Industrial Supplies?” he repeated, then pulled open a file drawer and started flipping through purchase orders. “I don’t recognize the company name. What are you delivering?”

“Let’s see.” He heard the woman shuffling papers. “A restaurant stove. One of our nicer ones. And a freezer unit. Let me see. Huh. That’s weird. I don’t have a purchase order number. It just says per Elissa Bedford. I think she paid with a personal check. I’m not sure… Oh, you’re an orphanage. This is probably a donation. We get those sometimes. So is the time for the delivery okay?”

Elissa had bought them a stove and a freezer? “What? The delivery? Sure, that’s fine.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Stephenson.”

“Fine.” He hung up the phone.

Elissa? He rosé to his feet and crossed to the window. Outside several of the children played on the jungle gym. He remembered the anonymous benefactor paying for science camp. Had that all been her? Why had she done it? Where had the money come from?

He returned to his desk and picked up the phone. He had a couple of lawyer friends in Los Angeles. They would be able to give him a place to start. One way or another, he was going to get his questions answered.

Two hours later he set down the receiver. He knew about Elissa’s trust fund and had confirmed she’d been the one to pay for the sports equipment. Fallon had written the check to the science camp, but he was confident Elissa had made those arrangements. He remembered her wide-eyed, innocent stare as she had sworn she hadn’t been in touch with the camp director.

“Technically avoiding a lie,” he said softly, knowing it was so like her.

The money from her television show had been in trust until she turned twenty-five. He wondered why she’d kept the information from him, then he grimaced. After she’d listened to him rage against his grandfather’s wealth in particular and the rich in general, it was no wonder she wouldn’t want to confess that she had a trust fund waiting for her. At twenty-five, he hadn’t been very understanding.

But what about now? Why was she buying things for the orphanage and keeping it a secret? Was she still afraid he would judge her? Did she think he would want her money?

Neither of those sounded right. If anything, Elissa would keep quiet so he wouldn’t think she was trying to buy his affection. So what did he do now? Should he confront her or just let her continue with her anonymous gift giving?

There was a light knock on his office door. “Come in,” he called.

Elissa slipped inside, then turned and carefully locked the door behind her. When she faced him, she smiled, but he saw the trembling at the corners of her mouth. Despite all they’d shared last night, she wasn’t sure of her welcome.

“Hi,” she said, and tucked her hands behind her back. “I hope you don’t mind. I thought we could, um, talk and…” She motioned to the door. “This way we don’t have to worry about interruptions.”

He hated the questions in her eyes, the nervous way she nibbled her bottom lip. He hadn’t seen her since he’d left her bed at four in the morning. It felt like a lifetime ago.

“Come here,” he said, holding out his arms. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, and flew to him.

He gathered her close, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her. Passion flared instantly. Their tongues mated and danced until they were both breathing hard, then he raised his head.

Her questions were gone, her mouth fully smiling. She laughed and touched his face. “You look different,” she said.

“How?”

“Happier. And a little tired.”

“Could it be because I didn’t get any sleep last night?”

A blush stole up her cheeks. “Maybe.”

“You didn’t get any sleep, either. How come you don’t look tired at all?”

She leaned close. “Makeup,” she whispered in his ear.

“Ah. You’re tricking the world with your feminine wiles.”

“Something like that.” Her humor faded. “Are we all right, Cole?”

He cupped her face. “Elissa. Jeez, I should have known you’d want reassurance. We’re more than all right. We’re great. In fact, if lunch wasn’t in fifteen minutes, I’d try to convince you to share a quickie right here on the desk.”

She looked over his shoulder as if gauging the logistics involved. “Okay.” She started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Wait.” He stilled her hands. “They’ll miss us if we don’t show up for lunch.”

“Maybe, but not enough to come looking for us.”

Her mouth followed her fingers and he found it difficult to think as she trailed damp kisses down his chest.

“You’ll be sore,” he protested, although not with as much conviction as he would have liked. He was already hard.

“Uh-huh. We’ll work around that.”

“Elissa, we can’t.” But as he said the words, he was tugging at the hem of her dress, trying to pull it up so he could touch her body.

They worked together to remove their clothing. When he lowered his mouth to her breasts and his fingers to her waiting warmth, he realized he didn’t care about the trust fund or the gifts. Maybe he should be angry. In a way, she was keeping something from him.

Yet as he stroked her sensitive core and heard her muffled moans of pleasure he knew the information she withheld wasn’t important. Not compared to how she gave to the children and to him. As her naked body trembled in his arms and she breathed his name when she reached for her completion, he knew he could not find it in his heart to expose her secret. He wanted her. Worse, he needed her. For as long as she was willing to be with him, he was willing to welcome her with open arms.

* * *

Elissa stretched her arms over her head, then rolled to look at the clock. Nearly five-thirty in the morning. She would have to leave soon, tiptoeing in the darkness, back to her own room.

“Don’t go,” Cole said, turning to her and tucking her naked body against his, so they lay like spoons in a drawer. One hand rested possessively on her hip.

“I have a little time,” she said, absorbing the feel of him next to her.

When she’d first arrived at the orphanage, if someone had told her she and Cole would be practically living together again, she would have questioned that person’s sanity. If she’d been told that not only would they be spending their nights in the same bed, but would also be making wild, passionate love to each other, she would have called for the guys in white coats.

But it was true. Since that night three weeks ago, they’d been together constantly. Their days were spent enjoying their work and the children. Their nights were spent enjoying each other. She’d learned her body was capable of incredible pleasure, both receiving and giving. She’d learned how to reduce her wonderful husband to mindlessness with just the whisper of her fingers or her tongue. They’d explored each other, venturing on a wondrous journey from which she never wanted to return. She wanted it to go on forever.

She wanted to tell Cole she loved him.

So far she’d been holding the words back, not wanting to move too quickly. There were still problems between them. They had to deal with their past, with issues of honesty and trust. For a while she could be content sneaking around, but eventually she wanted to share her joy with the world.

“I’m glad I sent the letter,” Cole said, continuing their previous conversation. “You were right to urge me to tell my grandfather that we should set up a meeting as soon as possible.”

“You’re so stubborn. Why did you take so long to answer him? It’s been nearly a month.”

“I wanted to be sure.”

She felt his lips on her shoulder and smiled. She liked to think that his decision to establish a relationship with his grandfather had something to do with them. Maybe by opening up to her, he would learn to open up to other people. Or maybe she was indulging in a little wishful thinking.

“He mentioned wanting me to visit him,” Cole said.

“You should go.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you would like to join me.”

She turned toward him and met his steady gaze. “You want me to come with you to New York and meet your grandfather?”

He nodded. “I think the trip would be fun for both of us. I could use the moral support.”

She wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek against his chest. “I would be honored to go with you, Cole. I think things are going to work out great with your grandfather and you won’t need me at all. But I’m happy to provide whatever support I can.” She glanced up at him. “Do you think we can find a hotel in New York that has mirrors on the ceiling?”

He brushed her hair off her face. “I’ve created a monster.”

“I know. Aren’t you glad?”

“More than you’ll ever know.” His eyes darkened with emotion. “Will the bad memories be a problem? The last time you were in the city you weren’t very happy.”

“Neither were you, but thanks for asking. I’ll be fine. We’ll make new memories. Better ones. So much has changed. I’m not the same young woman I was five years ago.”

“Some things are different,” he agreed. “But not all.”

“Some things I don’t want to change.” She rosé on one elbow. “Cole, it’s time to stop sneaking around like this. I’m your wife. There’s never been anyone else for either of us. I really care about you.” She hesitated, then decided it wasn’t the time to discuss the fact that she was still in love with him.

“I know you care about me, too,” she continued. “I’m not saying we’re making promises to each other. There are things to work out. But I think it’s time to be open about our relationship. I would like us to tell the children and the staff that we’re married and I would like us to move in together.”

He withdrew so completely that if she hadn’t been naked and in his bed, she would have wondered if she’d simply imagined their time together.

He sat up and leaned against the headboard. His expression shuttered, his mouth straightened. In less than a heartbeat he’d become a stranger.

Her face stung as if he’d slapped her. Her stomach clenched tight. She’d been rejected before, but never like this. Never by him.

Is this what he’d felt all those years ago when she’d turned away from him in bed? Is this what it had felt like when she’d left him? Intellectually, she’d known that she’d hurt him, but until that moment she hadn’t realized how much. But she couldn’t react with compassion. Not when all she wanted to do was find her clothes and slink away.

“That’s not a good idea,” he said. “I don’t want the children hurt or confused.”

She pulled the sheet up to her shoulders and faced him. “What are you talking about? How would the children be confused? I know it’s a little complicated, but if we explained it—”

He cut her off with a shake of his head. “I don’t mean they would be confused by telling them we’re married. They wouldn’t understand when you left.”

“Left? What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”

His dark gaze slipped past her to focus on the wall opposite the bed. “You’re here for three months. That time is almost over.”

His words stunned her. She had to bite her lower lip to keep from crying out. Her eyes burned, but she blinked back tears. “You can’t mean that. After all of this, you can’t mean you’re going to send me away.”

“I won’t have to,” he said, still not looking at her. “You’ll be the one to leave, just as you left before.”

“No,” she told him. “No, it’s not like that. I’ve changed.”

“I don’t think so.”

His words carried the weight of finality. She didn’t know what to say, how to convince him he was wrong. The words he’d said the first time they’d been together returned to haunt her. Let me love you. Not I love you. She understood the difference. He would commit to the physical act, which meant committing his body but not his heart.

“What has this meant to you?” she asked, motioning to the bed. “Just sex, nothing more?”

At last he looked at her. “You know it’s been more than that. Our time together has been very special.”

“Sure. I can tell.” She shook her head. “I’ve been a fool. I thought this mattered. I thought I mattered.”

She reached for her dressing gown and pulled it on. As she tightened the belt, she stood and faced him. “That’s it, then.”

“Elissa, don’t go like this. Don’t be angry.”

“How can I not be? According to you, it’s just a matter of time until I leave, so why not be insulted and hurt and outraged? As long as I’m going, right?”

“You don’t understand.”

“I understand perfectly. You don’t trust me.”

“I loved you once,” he said slowly. “I might be able to love you again. But you’re right. I can’t trust you.”

Her knees nearly gave way. Only by a supreme force of will was she able to remain standing. “No, you won’t trust me.”

She bent and collected her nightgown. The garment had been tossed aside in a moment of passion. Tossed aside and forgotten, like her hopes for their future.

Her whole body ached, but this time not from passion. She’d been struck down in an emotional hit-and-run. It was going to take a while to get the bleeding under control.

She straightened and walked to the door. Before returning to her room, she glanced back at him. “Here’s the thing, Cole. You’re not going to get rid of me this easily. Think I’m leaving all you want, but I’m not going anywhere. Somewhere, somehow, I’m going to convince you to give us a second chance. Because we both deserve it. And because we’ll never love anyone else as much as we’ve loved each other.”

Chapter Fifteen

“S
tephenson,” Cole said as he picked up the phone.

“Hello, Cole.”

Cole put down the pen he was holding and sagged back in his chair. He didn’t recognize the powerful voice that defied age, but he knew who was calling. Son of a bitch.

“Grandfather.”