The Secrets of Darcy and Elizabeth: A Pride and Prejudice Variation (22 page)

“Yes, I know. I was wrong – as I mentioned when I apologized for my conduct earlier. It was partly my regard for Eliz—Miss Bennet that showed me how wrong I had been.”

“Oh.” Bingley fell silent as he digested this information, then he sat up straighter. “So you are precisely the person I need to speak with about my circumstances.” Darcy nodded encouragingly as his friend continued. “When the news arrived at Longbourn about Lydia’s elopement, I wanted to be of assistance to the family. But there was deuced little I could do! I could offer Jane comfort, but she was occupied with caring for her mother. I thought my presence was more of a hindrance since Jane felt she needed to entertain me when she had other duties.”

Bingley took a long sip, finishing off his brandy, but Darcy did not offer to pour him another. “Caroline and Louisa were staying with me at Netherfield. They were horrified about Lydia and thought the whole affair demonstrated the Bennets’ bad breeding. They wanted to leave Netherfield and disassociate from the family. I agreed to bring them to London, in part because I thought it would help Jane to remove them from her vicinity. But I would not agree to stop courting Jane. Now, I regret returning to London. Caroline has wasted no time informing everyone she knows about the Bennets’ disgrace. I think she is hoping to shame me into giving Jane up, but
nothing
could do that!” Bingley made the announcement with uncharacteristic vehemence.

Darcy responded mildly. “Good. I am pleased you will not renounce the attachment over this matter.”

“I explained all of this to Jane before I left, but she may have believed I was only trying to spare her feelings. Her countenance stayed serene, but she is good at hiding her true sentiments – and my history in this regard is not good.” Bingley said with a bitter expression. Darcy winced inwardly; he knew Bingley was not reproaching him, but Darcy experienced regret nonetheless. “What do you think I should do?” Bingley asked.

“Are you certain you want my advice? I have not proven a good advisor in the past.”

“Yes, I am sure. In fact, you are the only person who could truly understand my dilemma. Since you and Miss Elizabeth—”

“Our circumstances are quite different actually.”

Bingley ran his fingers through his hair, appearing about to leap out of the chair with nervous energy. “Yes, yes, I see what you mean. Miss Elizabeth is here, not at Longbourn. But even so, what do you think I should do?”

If only he knew how different their circumstances were!
“What do you want to do?” Darcy asked quietly.

“I wish to be with Jane.” Bingley answered instantly.

“Then you should and ignore your sisters’ comments. They can remain in London. In fact, I will be visiting Hertfordshire in three days. I would be happy to have you accompany me.”

“Good!” Bingley exclaimed. “You must stay at Netherfield. That is an excellent plan. Going with you gives me a reason to travel there. Thank you.” Darcy smiled, happy that he could be of service to both his friend and Elizabeth’s family.

Elizabeth had passed a restless night.
How quickly I have grown accustomed to Darcy’s presence that now I ache for him when he is absent!
During the long night, she recited to herself the reasons for not revealing their marriage, but they seemed to pale compared to the longing she felt for him. She wanted his lips on her…his arms around her…his hands…No, it would not do to further fan the flames of desire.

Apparently her listlessness was noticed at the breakfast table. “Are you feeling unwell? You seem peaked.” Mrs. Gardiner asked.

“No, Aunt, thank you I am perfectly well. Simply fatigued. The traveling wore me out a bit.” Elizabeth attempted to butter her toast in a more lively fashion.

“You must take every opportunity to rest today,” her aunt insisted. “I can see that you are still recovering from your illness.” There was a knock at the front door; moments later the housekeeper entered with an elegant, creamy white envelope, which she gave to Mrs. Gardiner. Elizabeth’s aunt looked surprised, broke the seal, and opened it at once. “Oh my!” She exclaimed.

“What is it?” Elizabeth asked.

“The Earl and Countess Matlock have invited us – and you – to a ball tomorrow night.” She looked bewildered. “I do not believe I have ever met Lord and Lady Matlock.” Still frowning in confusion, she handed the invitation to Elizabeth.

“I believe they are Mr. Darcy’s aunt and uncle,” Elizabeth said as she perused the invitation. Experiencing a need to behave casually, she took a sip of tea.

“Oh, I see. He must have arranged for the invitation. How nice!” Her aunt was eyeing Elizabeth speculatively and then appeared to have made a decision. “I suspect Mr. Darcy of some partiality to you. Has he said anything of an attachment?”

Elizabeth blushed and set her tea cup down quickly, thinking of the last time he expressed his affection forcefully. How much should she reveal? She was uncomfortable with outright untruths, but could not allow her aunt to guess the truth. “He
has
expressed a warm regard for me,” she confessed. There, it was not a lie, but did not reveal too much.

Her aunt drew her breath in quickly. “Oh, Elizabeth, truly? And how do you feel about him? I know that once you disliked him.”

“That is all in the past…I…experience affection for him….” She allowed. “He took excellent care of me when I was sick.”

Mrs. Gardiner smiled as she regarded her niece over the rim of her tea cup. “You may not be aware of the great honor of such a man’s affections. His estate of Pemberley is very large and house is very grand – one of the grandest in England, I daresay.”

The raptures of her aunt, who was not prone to exaggeration, had a peculiar effect on Elizabeth. She was eager to see Pemberley since Darcy spoke of it with such love, but now she reflected on the responsibilities of being his wife. Was she prepared to be mistress of such an estate? She took a deep breath, attempting to quell her apprehension. It would happen whether she was prepared or not; the decision had been made.

“Are you all right?” Her aunt asked. “Your face suddenly became rather white.”

“Yes, I am fine.” Elizabeth attempted to calm herself by envisioning William’s face: his slightly crooked smile, his beautiful dark eyes and the way they twinkled when he was teasing her.

“There is no time to order you a new gown before the ball, but I have one that we could alter for you.”

“Nonsense! I can wear the yellow silk I wore in France.”

“No, a ball at an earl’s house demands greater elegance. Plus Mr. Darcy has already seen that gown. We shall visit the
modiste
once we have finished breakfast.” Her aunt’s tone was very emphatic.

Elizabeth sighed in acquiescence. It seemed foolish for her aunt to give up a gown in hopes of securing a man who had already become her husband. But, Elizabeth realized, this ball would also afford the inhabitants of the
ton
their first glimpse of her. It was important to give a good first impression. “Very well.”

Only an hour later, Darcy brought his sister to the Gardiners for a visit. When he entered the drawing room, Elizabeth’s heart started to flutter and she wanted to do nothing more than to fling herself into his arms. When they had devised the plan of concealing the marriage, she had not anticipated how difficult it would be to see him and desire him, but be unable to act on it.
How have I become so brazen in only a few days?
She blushed at the thought.
But, then, we
are
married. Surely it is permissible to desire my husband.

Darcy’s eyes sought hers as soon as he entered the room and he gave her a heartwarming smile. She returned it, trying to put all of her unspoken love into each glance.

Elizabeth enjoyed making Georgiana’s acquaintance. She was a lovely girl, although painfully shy, and initially answered questions with the shortest possible sentences. However, Elizabeth diligently sought out subjects that would elicit some conversation from the younger girl and was rewarded with some longer answers. After a few minutes, she was freely speaking to Elizabeth about her school, her friends, and her love of music.

Whenever Elizabeth glanced at Darcy, she noticed approval on his face. During a lull in the conversation, Mrs. Gardiner took the opportunity to ask Darcy questions about his family and Pemberley. Elizabeth was happy that they were becoming better acquainted. After they had been there an hour, Darcy suggested a walk in the nearby park.

It was a clear day and not overly warm – ideal for a walk. After the four of them had been strolling a few minutes, Darcy and Elizabeth lagged behind the others, so he offered her his arm and they took the pathway at a leisurely pace. Mrs. Gardiner was showing Georgiana a pond and other features of the park, providing the lovers with some privacy. Georgiana seemed content, but did not respond as readily to the older woman as she had to Elizabeth.

Darcy shook his head in disbelief. “I have never seen Georgiana take to someone as quickly as she did to you. Usually it takes her months to become comfortable with a stranger – if it happens at all. She has been especially reticent…after recent events.”

“I thought her a very pleasant conversationalist.” Elizabeth said.

He hugged her hand tightly to his side, wishing he could embrace all of her. “You have a unique ability to put her at ease. It gave me great joy to see you converse so freely. I believe you are destined to be great friends.”

“I hope so,” Elizabeth said. They walked in silence for a moment. Elizabeth soaked up the sunshine and enjoyed the tranquility of the park. “We received an invitation to a ball given by Earl and Countess Matlock tomorrow.”

Darcy smiled. “I am glad it arrived.” He turned his head toward her. “This will be an excellent opportunity for you to meet some of my relatives and acquaintances. At least they will know who you are when we reveal our marriage.”

“I believe it will be a shock no matter how much preparation we give them,” Elizabeth opined.

“Perhaps, but the ball will provide an opportunity to show my partiality for you.” A muscle in his jaw tightened, Elizabeth noticed.

“Is there a problem?”

He sighed. “A small one – nothing you need to worry about. My cousin, Richard’s brother, apparently took it into his head to marry his mistress while I was in France. She is a former actress and it has created quite a stir within the family.”

Elizabeth imagined how the family must feel. “They must be very unhappy. And I thought they would be scandalized by me!” Darcy chuckled. “Was the marriage completely unexpected?” She asked.

Darcy considered his answer. “Perhaps not entirely. He was always very enamored with her, but my aunt and uncle thought he would outgrow the infatuation and marry someone more appropriate. The difficulty is that my aunt is particularly concerned about the damage to our family’s reputation. Which means—”

“She is not pleased to have you associate with
another
family touched by scandal,” Elizabeth finished for him. “Unfortunately, her reservations are completely understandable. Perhaps I should wait and attend a ball in a few months, when both scandals will have faded from memory.”

“No!” Darcy’s voice was fierce. “I have waited long enough for you. I will not wait one moment more than necessary.” He brought her gloved hand up to his mouth and kissed it, causing her to wish he could kiss other parts of her body. As he stopped walking altogether, he gazed intently into her eyes. “At night I long for your touch. Just the memory of it…is sweet torture. And now…seeing you and being unable to touch you…”

Her eyes locked on his; she could not tear her gaze away. “I know,” she whispered.

“We should continue walking or I will surrender to my desire to kiss you,” Darcy murmured, and she chuckled.

As they resumed walking, she placed her hand on his arm and he covered it with his. “I must tell you, my love: I insisted that my aunt invite you to the ball, but she was not pleased. In exchange, I promised that I would not be overly attentive in my attentions to you and that I would dance with other eligible young women. I am sorry.” He regarded her anxiously.

“Well, if that is the price I must pay for seeing you at the ball, so be it.” She said lightly.

“Thank you for understanding. Please know, they – these other women – will mean nothing to me. If I could, I would dance every dance with you.”

“That
would
cause a scandal!” Elizabeth laughed. “Nor do I have the energy for every dance, I believe.”

Darcy’s face instantly reflected concern. “Will your health will allow attendance at the ball? I do not want you to exert yourself too strongly and compromise your recovery.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I do tire a little more easily than before – and I slept quite late this morning! But today I am more like myself. Certainly I can survive a ball.” Darcy appeared about to protest. “William, I do not want to miss it.” He subsided, but still looked concerned.

They walked in silence for a while. Seeing that she was tiring, Darcy invited her to sit on a bench and then took the place next to her. Eventually Darcy spoke. “I have a reputation for never dancing with the same woman twice. I never wished to give rise to rumors or create false expectations – and there was no one I wanted to know better – until you.” His smile warmed her.