The Seven Steps to Closure (14 page)

‘Was he yummy?’ she asked.

‘Totally yummy.’

‘How old?’

‘I’m guessing mid-thirties. We didn’t exactly swap life stories.’

‘No, just body fluids,’ said Martin laughing.

‘Oh Tara, tell me you were safe,’ Lil said in concern.

‘Of course I was safe.’

‘Was it fantabulous or really, really horrible?’ she asked.

‘I wouldn’t be telling you if it was horrible. I’d be at home with my head in the oven.’

‘Are you seeing him again?’ she said, her eyes lighting up at the prospect.

‘The point of last night was to help me move closer to closure with Jake, not to shift my emotional baggage from one man to another,’ I said, quoting Elaine. I would have been very happy to see him again, but probably would have stuffed the whole thing up by talking too much, so it was probably better left just as it was – a delicious memory.

And a delicious memory was exactly what it was for me later that night while I drifted closer and closer to sleep.

* * *

Elaine was glowing when Nat and I met her for breakfast the morning after the reunion.

‘How was it?’ I asked.

‘It was fantastic,’ she gushed, ‘awesome, wonderful, amazing.’

‘Wow,’ I said. ‘So this Robert is everything you’d hoped?’

‘Robert?’ she sounded confused. ‘Oh God, not him.’ She shuddered.

We paused as the waiter delivered our breakfasts. Elaine immediately handed a strip of bacon down to Benny who was waiting patiently in her handbag.

‘Was he there?’ Nat asked.

‘Who?’ Elaine asked, patting Benny.

‘Robert.’

‘He was there. Loud, obnoxious, know it all. His first and only words to me were “Hey Elly, your tits look hot in that dress”‘. She shuddered again. ‘I mean of course they looked hot, but the cheek of him to say it. I was mortified.’

‘Well if it wasn’t Robert that put that smile on your face who was it?’ I asked confused.

‘Alistair Delaine. Dr Alistair Delaine.’ She emphasised the Doctor as she said it. ‘I used to sit next to him in Biology. He was the school nerd.’

‘Not a nerd anymore?’ I asked.

‘So, not a nerd. Well, he might be a teeny weenie bit of a nerd, but he’s a gorgeous, funny, successful nerd.’

‘Did you recognise him?’ asked Nat.

‘No. I had decided to leave and was at the exit when a gorgeous man said, “Not leaving already? You only just got here.” I looked him up and down, there was a lot of ground to cover, and said, “Do I know you?” And he said, “Not as much as I’d like you to,” and then he took my hand and kissed it, and said ‘Delaine, Alistair Delaine.’

‘Ohhhh,’ Nat giggled. ‘Like Bond, James Bond.’

Elaine nodded. ‘In final year I organised a school outing to see a James Bond movie, but only the two of us turned up. I wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone but I had a lot of fun. Of course, I never went out with him again. That wouldn’t have been cool. And honestly he was a bit of a skinny pimply dweeb. Not anymore.’ She smiled smugly.

‘He’s still single?’

‘Got married when he was at Uni, then after six years of Med school and a couple of years of residency he decided to go back and specialise. She decided she wanted a life and left. He was heartbroken and threw himself into his studies. He’s a neurosurgeon now.’

‘Wow,’ Nat said, genuinely impressed, ‘I’ve never met a neurosurgeon before.’

‘Well if all goes well you’ll be meeting one soon,’ Elaine said as she laughed. ‘I had the most amazing night. He got me champagne and we talked on the balcony for hours. Before we knew it, the reunion was over and we were being kicked out. We went to a bar nearby and continued talking. He is so interesting.’

I had never heard Elaine praise a man for being interesting before. Rock hard body – yes. Huge penis – yes. A truly talented tongue – sadly, also yes. But never interesting.

‘Was he good in bed?’ I asked.

‘I wouldn’t know. I’m not that kind of girl,’ she said prudishly, and then burst out laughing. ‘Well not at the moment I’m not. He’s taking me out to dinner next Friday, so maybe I’ll know after that. Maybe not though; I’d like to ride this pony as far as I can. Hey when does Dinah get home?’ she asked, suddenly changing the subject.

‘Late Thursday evening. She wants to meet us for breakfast on Saturday. Can you come?’

‘Can we make it brunch?’ asked Nat. ‘Ricardo is making me dinner on Friday night. He dropped some candles off at my house yesterday so I may be sleeping in.’ She blushed prettily.

‘No worries, I’ll let her know when I pick her up on Thursday. Brunch it is.’

* * *

That afternoon I decided to pop up to Mum and Dad’s.

‘Want to stay for dinner?’ Mum asked, looking up from the carrots she was picking in the garden.

‘Sure, why not.’

‘So,’ she said, as I kicked off my shoes and relaxed into a deck chair near her, ‘I hear you’ve had sex.’

I let out a startled yelp and turned to look at her. She had an amused expression on her face. ‘Bloody Lil,’ I muttered.

‘Oh, don’t blame her,’ said Mum, dusting off her hands and coming to join me, ‘I pumped her for the info; she didn’t stand a chance. You know I can be very persuasive when I want to.’

‘What did it take?’

Mum tried to look innocent. She lasted for a few seconds before caving. ‘I offered to babysit all the girls for two weekends.’

‘Two whole weekends, I’m impressed the information was worth so much.’

‘It was a bet actually, after Jake left you. I bet you’d be back in the saddle within four months. Lil said that it would take you at least a year. I was feeling pretty safe with my bet thinking you’d have a drunken, anger bonk.’

‘Mother!’

‘What? I read books, I watch telly. I blame it on
Twilight
personally.’

‘Blame what?’

‘You hanging on so long – all that unrequited love. Anyway don’t blame Lil, she didn’t so much ring to tell me, as to smugly organise the dates for the babysitting.’

My anger at Lil subsided just a little. Then I thought about her with her swollen belly and her six children and husband – whom although wonderful was not always there – and my anger vanished. Hell, I was happy I’d managed to win her a couple of weekends alone with Martin.

‘So tell me about it.’

‘Mum I’m not telling you about it.’

‘Why not? I’m sure you told the girls all about it.’

‘Not all about it, just that it was good.’

‘Just good?’

‘Well better than good actually if you really must know.’

‘Well that’s all right, as long as it wasn’t terrible.’

‘I’ve never had really terrible sex.’

‘Me neither,’ she said smugly, opening her mouth to continue.

I shoved my hands over my ears and started saying, ‘LALALALALALALALALA,’ knowing that Mum’s only sexual encounters were with Dad, and not wanting to know any more than that.

Mum laughed and held up her hands in defeat.

‘All right, all right, I’ll leave the subject alone.’

Just then, a cute, reddish bunny with enormous ears, hopped into the garden and started nibbling on Dad’s greens.

‘Ah Mum, there seems to be a rabbit eating Dad’s vegies.’

‘Oh,’ she jumped up, ‘bad bunny.’ She scooped him up and sat back down with him on her lap. He looked at me and twitched his cute little nose.

‘Awwwww,’ I said, ‘he’s adorable. What’s he in for?’

‘Actually nothing, he was just so cute I brought him home. Unfortunately he’s taken a real liking to your father’s garden.’

‘Mum, he’s a rabbit. He eats vegetables.’

‘Actually darling he’s a Belgian hare. Although technically a Belgian hare is a rabbit.’

‘How can a hare be a rabbit?’

‘They’re rabbits that have been bred to look like hares. None of it makes any a difference; I’ll have to take him back.’

The words hung there like a cloud between us.

‘Really?’ I said nonchalantly, resisting the urge to reach out a finger and see if his coat was as silky as it looked.

‘Yes, such a shame, he’s toilet trained and everything.’

‘How do you toilet train a hare?’

‘Same way you do a cat. He uses a kitty litter we leave in the toilet.’

‘But you leave the toilet door closed.’

‘He thumps on it with his hind leg. He’s freaked your father out a few times.’

I laughed. Dad liked to disappear into the toilet with a book. It was a survival technique I believe he had developed from being the only male in the house while we were growing up.

‘I wonder how long Martin has to stay in the toilet to maintain his sanity?’ I asked.

‘I think being away kind of does it for him,’ Mum replied. ‘If he didn’t travel for work he’d probably have to get a toilet put into the library.’

We both laughed.

I plucked a piece of grass and held it out to Bad Bunny. He grasped it with his little paws and nibbled it into his mouth. It made me think of a typewriter.

‘Mum,’ I said in my best weedly voice.

‘Yes dear?’

‘Can I have him?’

‘Who? Martin? I think you’ll have to take that up with Lil.’

‘No silly.’ I nodded my head at the rabbit in her lap. ‘Him.’

‘Oh,’ she said innocently, ‘I hadn’t even thought of that.’

And suddenly I knew he had been mine when he was brought home from the animal shelter.

‘Thanks Mum.’ I leaned over and threw my arms around her neck, before picking him up off her lap and placing him on mine.

‘Bad Bunny,’ I said, patting him on the head. I leant over and sniffed him. ‘He smells gorgeous.’

‘I washed him this morning. It’s his leave in conditioner.’

‘He has leave in conditioner?’

‘Yes, but best not to wash him too much, it’s not good for his skin. Everything you need is inside. I’ll go through it with you after dinner. He has quite specific dietary requirements and a very high metabolism, so you need to look after him well.’

Later that night as I drove back to my apartment I looked over at Bad Bunny, who was asleep on his bed, and I smiled as I realised I was content.

* * *

I was on my way to the airport to pick up Dinah with Bad Bunny riding shotgun. I had advised him quite firmly that once Dinah got in he would have to retire to his bed in the back. He had sulked about it for a little while, but had eventually agreed. He loved the front seat. I had put the window down and he was standing on his hind legs with his little face stretched towards it, his nose twitching and his long ears blowing crazily in the wind. He looked adorable.

I had missed Dinah terribly over the last few weeks, and was looking forward to hearing her adventures as well as giving her my good news. Since my one night stand, my reaction to Jake and Tash had changed from a deep ache to an irritated disdain. I would humph in annoyance, at having them suddenly intrude my life, and then change the channel. I wasn’t at all tempted to watch the nightly snippets on
A Current Affair
so that I could wallow in my misery. It was a huge step in the right direction, and a bit like a snowball rolling down a hill, was gaining momentum. The better I felt, the less I cared. And the less I cared, the better I felt.

I parked at the International Terminal, wincing at the thought of the parking fee and hoping her flight was on time. Bad Bunny fitted easily into my huge handbag and, after his exciting car trip, he curled up and went to sleep.

It felt like forever before Dinah finally cleared customs. ‘I’m sorry,’ she exclaimed, as she fell into my arms. ‘I had shoes that had soil on them and they had to take them off and clean them for me, and I had a wooden carving I bought that needed checking, and God, I’m so tired.’

I just laughed and hugged her and slowly became aware that there was a strange woman watching us. Geez, what was her problem? Hadn’t she ever seen two women hugging before? Maybe she thought we were lesbians and was having a good old gawk. Or maybe it was someone I knew and had forgotten. Bad Bunny chose that exact moment to stick his head over the top of my bag and the strange woman said, ‘Dinah, you didn’t tell me she had a bunny. How gorgeous. Can I hold him?’ she asked me.

‘Sorry, time for introductions,’ Dinah said as she let me go. ‘Tara, this is Gloria Johnson. She was one of the doctors on the ship. Gloria, this is Tara.’

‘So pleased to meet you,’ Gloria gushed. ‘Dinah’s told me so much about you.’

She smiled at Dinah who said, ‘Gloria does the most amazing work on the Mercy Ships. She spends a month every year in Africa operating on women with Obstetric Fistulas.’

‘Right, ‘ I said, ‘the thing they get from prolonged labour.’

‘Oh, you know about it. That’s amazing, hardly anyone knows about it,’ said Gloria excitedly.

I squirmed a little, wanting her to believe that I really was that clever. ‘Nah,’ I finally admitted, ‘I read about it on the Mercy website when Dinah first decided to go. I’d never heard about it before then.’

‘Oh.’ Gloria looked a little disappointed, but then she smiled and said, ‘well you know about it now. That’s the important thing.’

‘Here.’ I handed her Bad Bunny. ‘He loves having his belly rubbed.’

Squealing she scooped him up.

‘Tara, when did you get a rabbit?’ asked Dinah.

‘Actually he’s a Belgian hare,’ I corrected her. ‘Mum gave him to me last weekend to replace Fishy Fishy, who committed suicide, who was to replace Princess, who plunged to her death while trying to kill Cocky.’

Dinah started laughing. ‘It looks like I’ve missed a lot.’ She reached out and rubbed Bad Bunny’s belly and she and Gloria shared a smile.

‘What’s his name?’

‘Bad Bunny.’

‘Why Bad Bunny?’

‘Mum was calling him Bad Bunny because he was eating Dad’s garden. It sort of stuck.’

‘What’s his problem?’ she asked.

‘As far as I can ascertain his only idiosyncrasy is that he really, really likes humping things.’

Dinah burst out laughing then explained to Gloria, ‘Tara’s Mum, whom you have to meet, works at an animal shelter and tries to find homes for the psychologically disturbed animals.’

‘Oohh,’ said Gloria, ‘maybe she could get us one.’ And then she blushed and said, ‘I mean me one.’