The Shadow of the Lynx (46 page)

“Because you love me.”

“It’s too late. You chose. Now you must live with your choice.”

“It can’t be too late,” Stirling said.

“There’s always a way and I’ll find it, Nora. I swear it. Promise to be patient.”

“Patient! What are you talking about? You’re married. You’re married to Whiteladies. This wonderful, marvelous unique old house is your bride. You can’t just walk out, you know.”

“Nora!”

“I shall go on with my plans. The sooner I leave the better.”

“And you think you’ll be happy back there .. without him … without me?”

“I have not thought of happiness. Only the need to go.”

“I won’t allow it. There’s a way out. I promise you I’ll find a way.

Only Nora, don’t go . don’t go. “

Again she laughed at him. How cruel Nora could be!

“You’re shouting.

You’ll tell the whole household what you have done. “

Then the door was noisily shut. I peered through the

niching and saw Stirling was alone. He covered his face with (us hands as though to shut out the sight of the hall with its dais and tapesteries and vaulted ceiling—everything that had made it the wonderful old house worth the greatest sacrifice to attain—even worth marrying me in order to take possession of it.

I remained in the gallery after Stirling had gone. My knees were cramped. I had forgotten the lost garnet. I understood everything now.

I should have seen it before, his sudden proposal when he had seen that there was no other means of acquiring the house; his perfunctory love-making; his moroseness when Nora announced that she was leaving.

Everything fell into place.

I wished that I were worldly like Nora. Then I should know what to do.

I wanted to confide in someone. If Nora had not been involved I should have chosen her. There was Lude. I hesitated. Lucie had been suspicious of the match right from the first. Lucie was wise and Luci loved me.

I went to my room still feeling dazed. I shouldn’t have listened.

Listeners rarely hear any good of themselves. How many times had I heard that?

Bella came and rubbed herself against my legs. The kitten I had kept was playing with the blind cord. I thought of that day on the tower and how the balustrade had crumbled . and then I thought of the occasion when I believed I had been followed up there; and I heard a voice ringing in my ears, Stirling’s voice: “I’ll find a way.”

“No,” I said, ‘that’s stupid. He didn’t mean that. ” But how did I know what he meant? What did I know of him—or rather what had I known before a short while ago? At least now I knew that he had married me because of some vow to own Whiteladies. I knew that he was capable of deceit, that he had pretended to love me when what he wanted was the house. I knew that he loved another woman and that he was planning in some way to end his marriage with me in order to marry her.

How? I asked myself; and some horrible voice within me said; “It almost happened in the tower. There was the balustrade … and that other occasion.” I tried not to think of his creeping stealthily up the stairs, seizing me from behind and throwing me over the tower.

That was fancy. Fancy!

Hadn’t I heard a movement? Hadn’t I sensed evil? Nora had saved me once. At least she was not in the plot . if plot there was. But I couldn’t believe that of Stirling.

My head was throbbing and I could not think clearly. I don’t know why I went to Lizzie’s room, but I did.

“Are you all right. Miss Minta?” she asked.

“I have a headache.”

“Sometimes women get them in your condition.”

“Tell me about that artist who came to teach my mother drawing.”

“Mr. Charles Herrick,” she said slowly.

“And now you’re Mrs. Herrick and there’s another Mrs. Herrick at Mercer’s. And soon another little Herrick will come into the world.”

“What was he like?”

“Like your Mr. Herrick but different. I never saw anyone quite like him. He stood out and above everyone else. You’d have thought he owned the place. Your mother worshipped him.”

“And you too, Lizzie.”

Yes,” she admitted.

“And he wasn’t averse. I might tell you.”

“He loved my mother.”

“He loved her for what she stood for. He was proud and poor and he saw himself as lord of the house.”

“And then?”

“There were ructions.

“Get out,” he was told and he went, but he came back for your mother. They were going to elope. ” Lizzie started to laugh.

“He came up by the ladder. She was ready to go with him. She gave him her jewels. She had some valuable pieces. He put them into his pocket and then … they burst into the room and caught him … and that was the last we saw of him.”

“Somebody warned them.”

“Yes,” she said slyly.

“It was you. Lizzie, wasn’t it?”

Her face puckered.

“You know!” She cried.

“Your mother knew. I told her on the night she died. The shock killed her. She would never have forgiven me if she’d lived. She raged at me. She said that but for me her whole life would have been different. She’d have gone away with him; he’d never have gone to Australia.”

(j: “But he went and he made a vow and because of that. Lizzie, because of you …”

1 walked out 01 me room, leaving her staring blankly before her. I was bewildered, still not knowing how to act

I couldn’t go down to luncheon because I couldn’t face anyone. Lucie came up to my room.

“Minta, what’s wrong?”

I feel ill, Lucie. “

“My dear, you’re trembling. Ill get a hot-water bottle.”

“No, Lucie. Just sit by the bed and talk to me.”

She sat down and I started to talk. In whom could I confide who would be more sympathetic than Ludc, who for so many years had been closer than my own mother? I told her what I had overheard in the minstrels’ gallery.

“You see, Lucie, he loves Nora. He married me for Whiteladies.”

Lude was thoughtful for some moments; then she said:

“Nora is going back to Australia. You and Stirling will make a life for yourselves. It will be a compromise, but marriage often is.”

“No,” I said.

“He loves her and won’t be able to forget her. There’s a great bond between them—it’s part hate and part love, or so it seemed, for Nora sounded as though she hated him and loved him at the same time. She hated him because he’d hurt her by marrying me. I’ve been lying here trying to think of something I can do.”

“Minta, my dearest child, the best thing you can do is nothing. This sort of thing has happened before. Stirling is married to you. You are going to have his child. Nora will go to Australia. You’ll be surprised. In a few years’ time he will have forgotten her and so will you.”

“He won’t let her go,” I insisted.

“He said so.”

“Impulsive talk. He has no say and Nora is a wise woman of the world.

She knows that nothing can be done. You are his wife. When she goes away he may fret for a while but time heals everything. Hell be reconciled. You have a great deal to offer him, Minta. “

“No, no. I’ve been trying to think of what I should do. I even thought of going away.”

Where to? “

“I can’t think where.”

“You are not being practical. You’ll stay here and’ ll1 be at hand to look after you.”

“But [ did think of going … somewhere. 1 even started to write a letter to him.”

She went over to my desk and picked up a sheet of paper. On it I had written:

“Dear Stirling, I was in the minstrels’ gallery when you and Nora were talking so I know that you love her and there seems only one thing to do. I must stand aside …”

I had got no farther, having paused there to wonder what I could do.

Angrily, Lucie threw it into the wastepaper basket. Then she came back to the bed.

“You are overwrought,” she said.

“I am going to take care of you and I promise you that in time all this will seem nothing to you. He couldn’t have been so much in love with Nora or he would never have married you.”

“You’re a great comfort, Lucie, but …”

“You trust me. Now you’re to stay in bed for the rest of the day, then you won’t have to face anybody. I’ll go along to Dr. Hunter and tell him to come and have a look at you, shall I?”

“Dr. Hunter can’t help over this.”

“Yes, he can. He can give you something to make you sleep and that’s what you need really. I’ll tell everyone you’re resting today. You haven’t been yourself since that fall in the tower.”

I shivered. I couldn’t tell even Lucie of the horrible suspicion that had come to me. But merely talking to Lucie had made me feel better.

She went out and left me, and I lay still, trying to believe what she had told me and failing wretchedly.

I stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Lucie brought supper for me on a tray, but I couldn’t touch the roast chicken nor the cheese and fruit. She had been to Dr. Hunter’s, but he was out on a case and that stupid Mrs. Devlin had seemed as though she had been drinking. However, she had left a message for him to come and see me in the-morning. I could have one of the pills he had given me at the time of my fall.

Lucie would have some milk sent up for me to take with it.

“Won’t you try and eat something?” she asked.

“I couldn’t, Lucie.”

About nine o’clock she sent Lizzie up with some hot milk and biscuits.

Lizzie looked subdued and this clearly had some|! thing to do with her outburst earlier that day. I couldn’t feel the same about Lizzie any more. Her action had had

such a tremendous impact on all our lives. I looked distastefully at the milk and turned away, so Lizzie put it on my bedside table.

I closed my eyes and I must have dozed, for when I awoke my heart started to pound furiously for someone was standing by my bed. It was Stirling. I couldn’t face him then so I pretended to be still asleep.

He stood there looking at me and I wondered what was in his mind. Was he thinking of putting a pillow over my face and smothering me? I didn’t care if he did. Who would have believed it was possible to love a man whom one suspected of murdering one. Nora loved and hated him at the same time and I loved him while I suspected him of wanting to kill me. How complex were human emotions!

He went out after a while. I lay still and the same thoughts went round and round in my mind and suddenly I was startled by a movement near the window. I sat up in bed and doing so knocked over the tray.

The kitten followed by Bella came running over from the window. I realized that it was their playing with the blind cord that had awakened me. The kitten discovered the milk and started to lap noisily, so I put the tray on the floor and they finished it between them. Bella jumped on to the bed, purring, and I stroked her. After a while she jumped down and I tried to sleep. I couldn’t, of course. I just lay there going over everything and finally I was so exhausted that I did sleep.

Lizzie came in. It was eight-thirty. I was usually up by this time.

“Her ladyship sent me to ask how you were this morning.”

“I’m tired,” I said.

“Just leave me. Don’t pull up the blind.”

“So you’re staying in bed for a while?”

I said I was. She went out and a little later Lude came in.

“Just to see how you feel,” she said.

I was half asleep, so she went on: “I won’t disturb you. A little rest will do you good.”

It was about half past ten when there was a light tap on my door. It was Mary, one of the housemaids. She said:

“Mrs. Herrick’s called. She wants to see you.”

Nora! My heart was leaping about uncomfortably. I wanted to see Nora, to talk to her. I was turning over in my mind whether I might tell her what I had heard. I had always felt an urge to confide in Nora. But how could I in this case?

I heard myself say uncertainly: “Ask her to come up.”

“Shall I draw the blinds. Miss Minta.”

I hesitated.

“N … no. Not just yet.” I wanted to know whether I could face Nora first. My hair was unkempt; I should have washed, tidied myself before seeing her. But it was too late now. The maid was gone and when she came back Nora was with her.

Nora was wearing a grey riding habit and she looked elegant and worldly. There was a gentleness in her face. I knew that she was sorry because I was married to Stirling—not only because that meant he wasn’t free for her. She was sorry because she thought I was going to be unhappy.

“Oh, you are resting,” she said.

“I heard that you weren’t feeling well.”

“I didn’t feel very well yesterday and since the fall Dr. Hunter likes me to rest a lot.”

“I’m sure he’s right.” A faint light came through the slats of the blind and she drew a chair up to the bed.

“I thought I must come and see you,” she went on.

“I shan’t have much more opportunity.”

“You are determined to leave us, then?”

“I’ve definitely made up my mind.”

“I shall miss you. As for Stirling …” My voice trembled.

She said quickly: “I always thought I should go back some time.”

“You must have been very happy there She drew her brows together and said: ” Yes. I daresay you are longing for the child to be born. “

Yes, I am. “

“And Stirling, too.”

Children playing on the lawns of Whiteladies! I thought.

The waiting period can be irksome,” I said.

“Franklyn will miss you.”

“In a -year or so you will have forgotten me … all of you.”

I shook my head. I had a great desire to see her face more clearly.

She hid her feelings well but I thought: She must be as unhappy as I am. I said: “It’s dark in here.”

“Shall I pull up the blinds?” She rose and went over to the window. I heard her give a little gasp. She was staring at the floor. Then hastily she pulled up the blind and looked down again.

“What is it?” I cried, starting up.

“Bella and the kitten …”

I leaped out of bed. I caught my breath in horror. Their bodies looked oddly contorted. They were both dead. I knelt down beside them. I could not bring myself to touch those once lively little bodies which I had loved.