THE SHADOWED ONYX: A DIAMOND ESTATES NOVEL (34 page)

Ben’s car came to a stop beside Dad’s Cherokee.

Joy closed her eyes. In mere seconds, she’d climb into the Jeep and finish the journey that would force her to come face-to-face with all she’d left behind.

It would be okay. She was only staying for two nights, a brief moment. She’d make it through and be back in Colorado before she knew it. But first she had to say good-bye to her grandpa. And her past. At least as much of her past as possible.

Joy stood still for Mom’s hug while Dad threw the single suitcase into his trunk and shook Ben’s hand. “Thanks for bringing her this far, man. Appreciate all you’ve done.”

Ben clapped Dad on the shoulder. “Our prayers are with you and your family. We’re all so sorry for your loss. But we don’t grieve like those who have no hope, do we?”

Uh-oh. Better get out of that rest area before Ben started preaching. Joy climbed into the back seat and pulled the door closed.

Mom and Dad got in, Dad behind the wheel. They looked older somehow, if three weeks could do that. Had it only been three weeks? Wow. So much life had happened—and death.

Joy glanced beside her at Mom. She stared straight ahead. No emotion.

Dad? He watched the ground pass under the car.

Not really the rousing homecoming Joy had expected to receive on her first trip back home. Then again, she’d also expected Grandpa to be there to celebrate her return.

Wouldn’t they speak to her at all? So awkward.

Should she start a conversation? Ask a question? Make a comment? Or was it better to leave them to their thoughts?

Joy looked out the window as they rode in silence past the familiar landmarks. It felt so weird to be home. Then again, she felt so removed from that place, like it wasn’t even home anymore.

Mom turned around and glanced between the seats. She plastered on a fake grin. “So what’s it like to be back? Excited you got to come home for a visit? Well … barring the circumstances of course.”

“Yeah, it’s hard to be excited considering the reason I’m here, but it’s cool in a way. I mean …” Joy shrugged.

“What? What were you going to say?” Dad glanced in the rearview mirror and locked eyes with Joy.

“Well, it’s just … it’s scary. You know, it hasn’t been that long that I’ve been at Diamond Estates. I don’t feel strong yet. I’m definitely not confident in anything. Not that this trip is about me at all.” She sighed. “I guess I’m just kind of paranoid. I feel like I’m treading water, and to be thrown into the deep end again so soon is just a little unnerving.”

“I could see that. That’s a really honest take on it.” Dad nodded. “So would you say you are glad you went to Diamond Estates?”

Joy chuckled. “Glad? That’s a tough word to use to describe all that’s gone on. But I’m totally grateful that I had the opportunity to go.”

“Are you dreading going back?” Mom spoke softly. Like she was afraid of the answer.

Joy shook her head. “Oh no. Honestly, I can’t wait. I really need to be there, and until I’m safe and sound back to my little room in that monastery, I’ll be nervous.”

Dad held Joy’s gaze in the mirror reflection. “We’re here for you, sweetheart. Just be honest with us about what you need while you’re home. We want to help you through this.”

Mom reached back and patted Joy’s leg. “Yes. Please let us know how we can help you make sure that this visit doesn’t set you back.”

Dad pointed the car down their street and pulled into the driveway.

“Whose car is that?”

Mom shot daggers at Dad. “Stella is staying with us until after the funeral.”

Frying pan, meet fire.

J
oy was ready for anything when she walked in the front door. She expected Stella to be flat on the floor sobbing in grief, but what she wasn’t ready for was to find Stella bustling around the kitchen, broom in one hand, oven mitt in the other, singing off-tune and off-beat a quippy, quirky song Joy had never heard.

What on earth?

“Stella?” Joy stepped into the kitchen and let her backpack slide to the floor.

Stella gasped. “My Joy. You’re here.” She rushed over and pulled Joy into a tight embrace. “I’m so glad to see you.”

She pulled Joy back and looked into her eyes. “Baby, you okay? As soon as this happened, you were the first face that popped into my mind. I knew this would break your heart … losing your granddaddy like this.”

Tears filled Joy’s eyes, and her chin quivered like a baby’s. “Yeah, it’s awful. I miss him so much.” She’d missed him before this, but now …

“Me, too, baby. Me, too.”

Stella sat down at the dining table with two mugs of steaming hot cocoa. She patted the seat next to her, her bangles tinkling. “Here. Sit with me. Let’s talk about him.”

Joy nodded and slid into the chair. “That sounds really good to me.” She blew the steam away from her hot cocoa before she took a sip. “Tell me how it happened. I mean, if you can. If it’s too hard, I can find out another time.” Joy gazed into her cup. “But nobody wants to talk to me about it, and I’ve been dying to know.” Joy put a hand over her mouth. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to say dying.”

“Oh baby. Don’t worry about that. We’re all dying, you know? That’s why I’m trying to be in good spirits about it all. Baking and cleaning.”

And singing. Joy smiled. “That’s good.”

“Your mama didn’t want me here because she’s afraid I’ll talk to you about something she doesn’t approve of—in fact, she’s probably back there yelling at your daddy about me staying here.”

Ha. Stella was probably dead on.

“But, I’m not sure if you believe in”—she lifted a finger to her lips and whispered—“reincarnation. But I do. I believe your grandpa will come back even better than he was before.” Stella’s eyes grew misty. “You know, of all the souls that have walked this earth, your granddaddy was the finest. He wouldn’t hurt the most vile of people … never said a bad word about nobody. Never even looked cross-eyed at them. We could all take lessons.”

“Tell me about it. I’ve known that to be true my entire life.” Joy’s breath caught. “He was my favorite person.”

Stella nodded as though it was assumed. “So you want to know how it happened?”

“Yes. Please. If you can talk about it.”

“Here’s the deal. He’d been sick. He had pneumonia and his ol’ body just wasn’t coming back strong like it had in the past. And his lungs were still a little frail.” Stella’s lip twitched.

“It’s okay if it’s too much right now.” No sense adding to the poor woman’s pain.

“Actually, it feels good to say the words. Let me, okay?”

“Of course.”

“So we had a big snow, and he insisted on shoveling. I was so angry. I begged him not to. I even called your dad.”

“You did?” Joy chuckled. Stella ratted out Grandpa to his own son. Way to go.

“Your daddy said, ‘Dad, now you just wait till I get off work. I’ll come straight there and take care of it for you.’ I think that bothered your granddaddy more than anything.” Stella pulled a hanky from inside her shirt and dabbed the corners of her eyes. She shook her head. “He wouldn’t hear of it, you know?”

Joy nodded. Sounded just like Grandpa.

“The thought of leaving the driveway covered in snow … well it was embarrassing to him. You know, his pride. Man of the house.” She looked up at the ceiling and blinked back her tears. “He would take care of it, he said. He worried that the neighbors would think he didn’t care or wasn’t able.”

Stella laughed. “‘You aren’t able!’ I told him. I even offered to call the neighbor boy and pay him twenty bucks to come do it. That kid has a snowblower for crying out loud. He’d have had it done in ten minutes. Quickest twenty bucks that kid ever earned, I’m sure.”

Joy chuckled. “Most definitely.”

“So John went out and shoveled for a little while. I watched from the window and saw steam billowing from his face with every breath. But then the puffs came out slower and slower. He was running out of energy, and his lungs couldn’t keep up. I scrambled to get my coat on, keeping one eye on the driveway through the foyer window.”

She paused and lowered her gaze to her cup. “Then the shovel fell. He couldn’t hold it up anymore. I reached for the phone and ran outside. I knew.”

Joy nodded. Poor Grandpa.

“He clutched at his chest and fell to the driveway before I could get to him.”

Joy choked back a sob and took a sip of her cocoa. She tried to cover her emotions, but Stella covered Joy’s hand and squeezed. She knew.

“There I sat waiting for the ambulance. I mean, I couldn’t bring him in the house, and I don’t know if you’re supposed to move a heart attack victim. Then I remembered something I read in one of those e-mails that go around. I didn’t have time to check Snopes, but at that point, what could it hurt? I ran into the house and got an aspirin. I shoved it in his mouth. Under his tongue and then just sat there with him in the snow. The ambulance came and drove him off.”

“Was he …?”

“They said he was alive, but he wasn’t conscious. Still, I hoped. Who wouldn’t?”

“I would have.” Joy sighed. “Did they let you go with him?”

“No. I had to follow in my car. So when the ambulance drove off, I went into my room and touched all of my little trinkets. I said a prayer to the universe and followed him to the hospital. He never woke up.”

Joy looked into Stella’s eyes. “Do you feel like the universe failed you?”

Stella shook her head. “No. Life and death are natural, and the cycle can’t always be broken.”

Mom breezed into the kitchen. “So what’s everyone talking about?” She locked eyes with Stella, the warning clear.

Joy shrugged. “I wanted to hear the story of how Grandpa died.”

“Oh honey, don’t talk about that. It’ll just make you sad.”

“I am sad, Mom. A story won’t change that.”

The window flew open. “Joy, it’s one o’clock in the morning. What are you doing here?”

“I know. I’m sorry to wake you up. I needed to talk to you, and I wasn’t sure if I’d have the opportunity after tonight.”

Austin nodded. “I’m really sorry about your grandpa. He was an awesome man.”

“Thank you.” Joy stared at that face she’d loved for so long.

“Okay. Let’s talk. I’ll come outside—no need to do it through an open window in the middle of winter. Hold on.” Austin backed away then came right back with a gleam in his eye. “But only if you put the rocks down. You’re scaring me.”

Joy opened her hands and let the stones rain to the ground. “Sorry. I was just prepared to throw a lot of pebbles to wake you up.”

“Um, from the looks of things, you’d have broken my window in about a minute.” He disappeared.

Joy laughed. It felt so good to laugh. If she stuck around, maybe she and Austin could laugh together a lot more. She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her red jeans—purposely not wearing anything black.

He approached from the front, shrugging into his Columbia jacket. “Now what’s up?”

“I have to know something.” Joy took a deep breath. Don’t think about how good he looks. “When I walked in on you and Melanie, were you trying to push her away? Did she kiss you, and you resisted?”
Tell the truth, Austin
. Joy stared into his eyes. She’d know.

Relief flooded his face as Austin nodded. “Yeah, that’s how it happened.”

Joy let the pent-up anger whoosh from her body. “Why? Why didn’t you ever tell me that before? I mean, I’ve been living with this anger and this feeling of betrayal … a simple explanation would have at least helped.”

“I tried a couple of times. But first you wouldn’t listen, and by the time I might have gotten you to listen to me, you were … different. By that time, you’d never have believed me in a million years. And it just would’ve made things worse.”

“What if I really do believe you?” Joy’s heart thumped.

“What do you mean?” Austin cocked his head. “What are you asking me?”

What did she want from him? What was she asking? She had to be careful not to lead him on. That wouldn’t be fair to him after all this time.

But what if she did stay home? Would the sky fall or the earth quake? Or would she just be like every other teenager with a problem she’d have to learn to live with, but she’d have Austin. Worth a shot. “What if I could put it back like it was? I don’t have to return to Diamond Estates. It’s my choice.”

Austin whipped his head from side to side. “Oh no. I’m not going to be the cause of you making a decision like that. If this is something
you
need, then it’s something we
both
need. I mean, I can’t have it on my conscience that you didn’t get the help you required because I was selfish and wanted you here with me.”

She’d been afraid of that response. “But … it wouldn’t be like that.”

“No, Joy. Now I’m not saying it’s a requirement that you go through Diamond Estates in order for us to be together one day. But I wouldn’t think very highly of your decision if you quit. I really want you to finish it out.” He smiled. “I’m a big boy. I can wait.”

Can? Sure. But did that mean he
would
wait? “Okay.” Joy nodded. If anyone could, it was Austin.

Joy sighed. He was probably right. As much as it was painful to realize—as much as she knew it, too. “Boy, I really made a mess of things, haven’t I?”