The Sheikh’s Reluctant Bride (12 page)

As did he. But it was not so. He became conscious of the fact that he did indeed want a child with Jessica and the awareness stunned him.

Before he could formulate a response to that, she spoke again. “That’s one hurdle out of the way.”

“Of what?” he asked.

“Dissolution of our union. Since there can’t be an annulment, we need to go ahead with the divorce.”

As the words penetrated, again he was stunned. It was thickheaded of him to believe she would have changed her mind, but he realized the hope had been there all along.

“Have you spoken with your grandparents regarding your wishes?”

She nodded. “They’re disappointed. They’d hoped I would stay in Bha’Khar, but ultimately they want me to be happy.”

“Are you so very certain you cannot be happy here in the palace?”

“With you,” she clarified.

“Yes.” He did not wish to look deeply into his feelings, but one thing was quite clear. He did not want her to go. “I respect and care for you.”

She clasped her hands in her lap and rubbed one thumb over the other. The gesture had become so familiar. She was nervous and he was glad.

“I’ve come to respect you, too, Kardahl. And that’s saying a lot considering my opinion when I arrived.”

“I am glad. Life here could be very rewarding. You could champion the causes of the desert people and there are children in Bha’Khar who would benefit greatly from your interest and support.”

She shook her head. “It’s not enough.”

“Those two causes are quite a challenge,” he argued. “You would—”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s not enough for me personally. I’m a hopeless romantic. Like my mother. All my life I’ve dreamed of being swept off my feet by the man of my dreams.” She laughed self-consciously. “I know that sounds foolish, but it’s the truth. And I won’t settle for less.”

Kardahl didn’t know what to say. In the beginning, it had all seemed so simple. They would help each other. But that was before he had come to know her. And want her. And love…

No. Not that.

But he could not say the words that would keep her here. He was loath to think it let alone give weight and importance by voicing it. That would tempt fate and he just wished to go on as they were. His greatest pain had been precipitated by this condition and he would not let himself ever experience such a thing again.

“I won’t agree to a divorce,” he ground out.

Her gaze jumped to his and something flashed in her eyes. “Then you leave me no choice but to hire an attorney, one whose specialty is international law.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No. But the thing is, we both know I have a good case for dissolving this marriage. I signed the proxy under false pretenses.”

“Have you been so unhappy in Bha’Khar?” he demanded.

She hesitated for a split second. “That’s not the point,” she finally said. “You’ve made it clear that you can’t love me. You’ll never know how deeply I wish it could be different. And how sorry I am for you. And angry. To withhold your love is disrespectful to the memory of the woman you lost and the child who will never live except in your heart.”

The truth of her words pierced his heart and he winced at the pain. “Jessica, I—”

She stood. “The thing is, Kardahl, your heart is dead. That means your child will never live at all. And I won’t be tied by a binding legal agreement to a man who can’t love me. That’s no life at all.”

K
ARDAHL
stared at the divorce papers on his desk. It had only been a week since she had sat in the chair across from him and said that she would not be legally bound to a man who could not love her. He had made known his positive feelings. Why was that not enough for her? They got on so well together, why did she need more?

The intercom on his desk buzzed and he answered. “Yes?”

“The Crown Prince is here to see you, Your Highness.”

“Send him in.” Kardahl smiled. He knew what this was about and relished the opportunity to do battle with his brother.

Malik entered his office and sat down in front of the desk. He did not look happy. “Father sent me to speak with you. You are asking for a lot of money, Kardahl.”

“Yes. But it will be well spent on programs that have been too long neglected.”

His brother’s gaze narrowed. “This is the first time you have expressed such a viewpoint.”

With Jessica, it was the first time he had met such an extraordinary woman who had a way of cutting to the heart of a matter. He had been operating under the belief that he was handling his responsibilities as a member of the royal family. She had made him see that he was isolated and out of touch with the needs of the people. He was detached from life in general and simply going through the motions of his work without an emotional connection. That was not enough in order to be an effective public official whose primary interest should be the welfare of the citizens of Bha’Khar.

Kardahl linked his fingers and rested his hands on the divorce decree on his desk. “It has been brought to my attention that the government is not doing all it could and should to invest in the future of Bha’Khar.”

A gleam stole into Malik’s eyes. “Lately your attention has been concentrated on your wife. Would I be wrong to think that she is the one who has altered your views?”

“It does not matter. The point is that the allocation is necessary.”

“I agree, but you are the minister of Finance. It is up to you to convince father to change his mind.” Malik leaned his elbows on his knees and his look was sympathetic. “You know better than anyone that he holds in high esteem the traditions of the land of our birth.”

“Sometimes traditions need shaking up.” But with the power of passion for his cause, he would be persuasive. “I am prepared to change his mind.”

“Are you prepared to forgive him also?”

Kardahl knew what his brother was asking. All this time he had held his father responsible for the tragedy that took the woman he had loved. The truth was, it was an accident and Kardahl had felt the need to hold someone accountable. Perhaps in time the king would have been convinced to alter the tradition and allow him to marry the mother of his child. They would never know. He would always have tender feelings for them, but the paralyzing pain no longer held him in a state somewhere between life and death. In truth, tradition had brought him Jessica. It was he, Kardahl, who had erred badly and he did not know how to make things right.

“Yes.” He sighed. “I am no longer angry at father.”

Malik nodded. “I suspect Jessica is responsible for this as well?”

“In a circuitous way.”

“That heartens me,” his brother said, smiling broadly. “My own betrothed will be here from America in a number of weeks.”

“Tread cautiously with your optimism. You know the circumstances of our marriage?”

“That father’s overzealous aide obtained her signature on the proxy in a deceptive manner? Yes. I heard.”

Kardahl held up the legal document. “And you know that she is determined to obtain a divorce.”

“I do. And you do not wish it?”

“No.”

“That is a problem. You seem confident of persuading father of the wisdom of your budget allocations. Yet you cannot convince your wife of the wisdom of remaining married to you?” The gleam in Malik’s eyes was clear evidence that he was enjoying this far too much.

“The two matters are completely unrelated.” As, at the moment, he wished he and his brother were.

“I will be certain not to make the same mistakes when my own bride arrives. Although, I am assured that the bride chosen for me is well-trained in the matters of discipline, royal protocol and tradition. And, unlike your wife, she is obedient.”

“You are in for a rude awakening, my brother,” Kardahl assured him. “Obedience does not guarantee a successful marriage.”

“It does not hurt.”

Hurt. Kardahl sighed. Both he and Jessica were wounded souls. She was a young and vulnerable witness to her mother’s downward fall into alcoholism while searching for love. He had found it once, only to have it ripped away, making him determined not to care or hurt again. What a pair they were.

He refused to debate the virtues of an obedient bride. Soon enough his brother would deal with the issue on his own. But Kardahl did wish to unburden himself as the knot of pain inside him would not go away. Maybe Jessica was right and talking would help.

“Jessica has longed for a romantic relationship and will not settle for less than her expectation.” He met his brother’s gaze. “And I have stubbornly resisted loving again.”

“To no avail,” his brother commented.

As much as he disliked feeding his brother’s ego, he could not deny the truth of the statement. “You would be correct.”

“Then you must talk her out of the divorce,” Malik said seriously.

“How do you suggest I do that?”

“Convince her of your deep and tender feelings.”

“I have shown her in every possible way that I care. So, again I say, how do I go about that?” Kardahl demanded.

“You have a certain reputation with the ladies—”

“Do not go there.” This was not the time to inform his brother that reminding Jessica of his reputation would be counterproductive to his goal of changing her mind.

“Let me finish. I’m simply suggesting that you should do what you do best. Court her. As I intend to do with my betrothed when she arrives.”

“Flowers? Moonlight? Promises?” Cold showers in a mountain stream, he thought with a shudder. Lying beside her without touching when all he wanted was to pull her into his arms and kiss her until neither of them could think straight.

“Exactly,” his brother agreed.

“She is not susceptible to traditional courting methods.”

“If they were accompanied by a sincere declaration of your feelings that might alter her perception,” Malik pointed out. He leaned back in the chair and steepled his fingers as he studied Kardahl. “If you love her and I feel certain that is the case, you must tell her so.”

“I cannot.”

“Rubbish.”

Kardahl stood and started pacing his office. “It would test the boundaries of fate. The last time I said those words to a woman I lost her.”

“It seems to me that you will lose again if you do not say it.” Malik stood and stepped into his path, making him stop, meeting his gaze to get his point across. “This time the loss would be unforgivable because it is within your power to control.”

Kardahl felt the air leave his lungs as surely as if his brother had made a fist and punched him in the stomach. All this time he had been trying to control his feelings because that was the only thing he had power over. Except with Jessica, he had no power to resist her. She forced him to feel again and he was in love with her.

He hoped he had not realized the truth of his feelings too late.

Excitement raced through Jessica as she walked into the palace ballroom filled with men and women wearing tuxedos and gowns. She’d dressed with great care in a floor-length strapless black satin dress and her grandparents thought she looked beautiful. They were here somewhere, hanging out with their friends the king and queen of Bha’Khar, soon to be her ex-in-laws. The ball was held annually to celebrate national pride and when Kardahl had called and invited her to one last palace function, she hadn’t been able to refuse him. His charm had nothing to do with her decision to attend. Being in love with him had everything to do with it.

Foolishly she’d once thought that if he told her he cared it would be enough. The last time she’d seen him he’d said the words, but it wasn’t all right. She didn’t want just all right, she wanted fireworks and moonbeams.

She stood just inside the door as the royal family took their places on a dais at the front of the ballroom. The king made a speech and said the world was changing and Bha’khar needed energy and youth to guide it into the world order. He planned to step aside soon to let Prince Malik assume the throne with the counsel of his brother Prince Kardahl.

Even the sound of his name made Jessica’s heart beat faster. She was going to miss him terribly. And not only him. She would miss the country, the people, her family. The downside of knowing them was having to say goodbye. As she watched, Kardahl stepped to the microphone. He was a sight for sore eyes and an even sorer heart. As if he had a special radar, his gaze met hers across the crowded room and he smiled the smile that made her stomach drop and her knees weak.

“Good evening. My parents, my brother and I thank you all for coming tonight.” He glanced at his father and the two exchanged a smile. Then Kardahl looked into the crowd, finally meeting her gaze. “Someone whose opinion I respect very much recently pointed out to me that I have been neglecting our most precious natural resource. That ends tonight. The king has approved my proposal to appropriate a great deal of money for educational endeavors for the children of Bha’Khar. I will personally oversee the dispersal of these funds. But talk is cheap. It is action that shows the sincerity of a man’s heart. If I do not fulfill this promise, I expect the citizens of the country to hold me accountable as I shall hold myself accountable.” After a burst of sudden and enthusiastic applause tapered off, he said, “We are here tonight to celebrate. Our country has long and distinguished traditions. Talking is one of them, but I have done enough for tonight. On behalf of the king and queen and the Crown Prince I wish you all to enjoy yourselves.”

Stunned didn’t begin to describe what Jessica was feeling. Kardahl had been talking about her. He respected her. He’d told her so, when he’d said he cared. Tonight he’d said so publicly. And he was right. Actions spoke louder than words. Everything he’d done said he cared and she’d thrown that away.

She looked up and saw that he was coming toward her, making his way through the crowd. Her first thought was to run and that was exactly why she stood her ground and smiled when he finally stood in front of her.

“Hello,” she said.

“You came.”

“I did. And I see that you’ve been busy making up with your father and finding money for the kids.”

He grinned. “The king and I have indeed come to a new and pleasant understanding. After much discussion he saw the wisdom of investing in the youth of Bha’Khar.”

“I’m so glad, Kardahl,” she said.

His smile disappeared and a fierce intensity darkened his eyes. “I must speak with you alone.”

“All right.” How could she say no? She wanted nothing more than to be alone with him—even if it was for the last time. Especially because of that.

He took her arm and they slipped out the door and into the hall. Just outside, a group of reporters waited, like circling sharks who smelled blood in the water and were waiting to pounce. He put his arm around her and they continued to walk as questions peppered them.

“There’s a rumor that your marriage is falling apart. Would you care to comment?”

“Your Highness, we heard your speech. Did your wife talk you into appropriating the money for the kids?”

“She’s a social worker in the United States, right? Can you confirm that she grew up in a state run home?

“Is it also true that her mother died of alcoholism?”

Kardahl turned on them, his lean jaw tight with fury. “My wife has the greatest heart of any woman I have ever known. I will confirm what is public record and that is that she has known some adversity. Without that, she would not be as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.”

A microphone was thrust at him. “Would you care to comment on the state of your marriage?”

When he answered, his voice was hard as steel. “My wife made me think about many things. And she is responsible for the fact that I have put aside my selfish ways. She made me want to be a better man. But hear me, and hear me well—I need you, all of the media to spread my message for the children. But I will tolerate no further intrusion into my private life. Do I make myself clear?”

Jess was as speechless as the reporters. Before any of them could answer, he took her hand in a firm grasp and escorted her down the hall and to the elevators. He pushed the button for the ground floor. The next thing she knew, they were in the palace garden. This was where Kardahl had kissed her for the first time. The lighting and lush plants had made it magical then, and the memories made it even more magical now. Sadness swamped her at the thought of leaving everything she’d ever wanted. She’d been too angry and defensive to recognize it, to fight for it.

He held out his arm, indicating the wrought-iron bench. “Will you sit with me?”

“Yes.”

One word was all she could manage since her throat was thick with emotion. So much for going away quietly. The press had dug into her past and it would be out there for all the world to see. But once again, Kardahl had been there for her, defending her. And the things he’d said…More importantly, the things he was going to do. Suddenly the feelings grew so big she couldn’t hold them back. A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye. Then another. And another.

“Jessica—” He cupped her cheek in his hand and brushed the moisture away with his thumb. “The reporters will not bother you again. I will not allow it.”

She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m crying.”

“Tell me who is responsible for your unhappiness and I will see that they are severely punished.”

“You are responsible.”

“I?” If she’d slapped him, he couldn’t have looked more surprised.

She nodded. “You’re going to use your power for good. For the children.”