Authors: Chris Taylor
A nurse pushed open the door to Lily’s room and ducked her head inside. “Lily, you have a visitor. She says her name’s Hannah Sutton. I just wanted to check to see if it was okay before I send her in.”
Lily’s heart skipped a beat and then took off at a run. It had been three days since the funeral. Along with Tom and the kids attending the service, she’d arranged to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to Hannah’s house, but she hadn’t spoken to her since the morning she’d found out about the tragedy.
Now, she didn’t know if she was ready to face her friend, here in the hospital bed, with nowhere to hide. She didn’t know what to say to a woman who’d lost everything. Aware the nurse was waiting for her answer, Lily bit her lip and nodded.
“Please, send her in.”
A short while later, Hannah walked slowly into the room. Bent over like an old woman, her hair was scraped back into a messy ponytail and her face was devoid of makeup. She seemed to have aged two decades since Lily had last seen her. Her dark-colored jacket and matching skirt hung off her frame and only added to the somber mood.
“Lily, thank you for seeing me.”
The husky voice, rough with emotion barely sounded like the voice of her friend. Lily held a hand up to her mouth and tried not to show her shock.
“Hannah, I didn’t expect you to come and visit. It’s the last thing you should be concerned about. After all that’s happened…”
Hannah made a sound in the back of her throat that could have been a gasp or a sob. “I wasn’t sure if you’d see me. After what my son did to you, I’m probably the last person you want to see.”
Lily gasped in shock, unable to believe for an instant Hannah would think she’d feel that way. She said as much, her voice rising to keep up with her disbelief.
“How could you think such a thing? We’ve been friends for years! What happened wasn’t your fault. It had nothing to do with you.”
“But it did. That’s where you’re wrong. It had everything to do with me. If I’d listened to my son when he told me—no,
begged
me to do something about Ian Little and the other boys who were giving him grief, he’d have never gotten to the point where he thought the only solution was for him to sort it out with a gun. So, you see. It
was
all my fault.”
Hannah’s breath came fast and tears poured down her cheeks. Lily cried out against her friend’s pain and for everything both of them had lost. At least Lily still had her life intact and that of her family’s. Hannah’s life would never be the same again.
Struggling to sit up in the hospital bed, Lily reached out for her friend. With a cry, Hannah closed the distance between them and together they clung to one another and sobbed. It was a long time later when Hannah pulled away and searched in her handbag for a tissue. After she’d wiped at her tears and blown her nose, she looked at Lily again.
“I’ve put in my resignation. I-I can’t go back there again.”
“Oh, Hannah!” Lily protested. “That job means the world to you and you’re so good at it. Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m very sure. I can’t imagine ever wanting to step foot inside a class room again. I failed my son in his hour of need. It’s not something I’ll ever forget. I don’t want there to be a next time when I let somebody down. I can’t take the risk.”
“Give it time. Take an extended leave of absence. I’m sure the administration will understand. You might feel differently a little further down the track. Promise me you won’t make any hasty decisions.”
Hannah merely shook her head. “I’m not going to feel any differently about returning to the schoolyard. I’ve made my decision. I’m not going back.”
Lily’s heart ached for her friend, but there was nothing else she could do.
“I’ve put the house on the market and moved in with my sister. She lives in the western suburbs with her husband and three kids. It’s not ideal and hopefully it won’t be forever. I’ve spoken to Colin. I told him I’ve filed for divorce. I need to bring this whole chapter of my life to an end. I can’t bear to think about it another minute. As soon as the house sells, I’ll move on.”
“Where?” Lily asked, her voice gentle.
Hannah grimaced. “I don’t know yet, but that doesn’t worry me. I need to get out of Sydney, away from the memories. Every time I close my eyes, I see my baby hanging there…” Her voice broke on another heartbreaking sob.
“He’s crying out for me to help him, Lily. When I reach him and try to pull him down, it’s too late. It’s too late…”
Fresh tears flooded Lily’s eyes and she reached for Hannah once again, silently cursing her injuries that kept her confined to the bed. Her friend cried like her heart had broken in two and would never be whole again. Lily cried quietly with her. She’d never felt so helpless.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Chatswood—present day
Lily sank into her favorite leather armchair that stood in its usual position in her comfortable living room and let out a sigh of relief. After four long weeks in a hospital bed, it was heaven to be finally home. The kids had returned to school and Tom’s parents had returned home amidst a flurry of love and gratitude. Tom hovered nearby, an expression of concern on his face as he made sure she had everything she needed.
“Here’s an extra cushion for your back,” he said, pushing one gently in behind her. “And here’s the TV remote and the one for Foxtel. I’m not sure if there’s anything decent to watch, but you might find something. Now, can I get you a cup of coffee, or would you prefer a cool drink? It’s damned hot out there today.”
Lily smiled and reached out for him. She caught his forearm and tightened her fingers. Hard muscles bunched and flexed in response.
“Tom, I’m fine. Please, stop fussing about me like I’m a child. If I weren’t well enough to come home, the doctors wouldn’t have discharged me. I’m happy here, beyond content, back in my own house. I’ll never underestimate the absolute gloriousness of being home again.” She smiled to soften her words and was pleased when he smiled back.
Bending low, he kissed her gently on her lips. In what seemed like seconds, heat ignited between them and Lily pressed herself as close as she could get. She let out a sound of frustration when her position in the chair limited her in her quest. It had been so long since she’d felt his arms around her and even longer since they’d made love. Tom groaned and tried to pull away. Lily only tightened her hold.
“Babe, I’m not sure that the doctor had this in mind when he discharged you. He gave me explicit instructions to make sure you take it easy.”
“
Mm,
you’re right. Let’s take this upstairs. That will make it much easier.” She reached up and tugged his soft earlobe into her mouth. Years of togetherness meant that she knew exactly how to drive him wild. The guttural sound he made deep in the back of his throat was heavy with desire.
Releasing his ear, she nibbled her way down the side of his neck. Tom’s next groan was laced with impatience.
“Let’s go upstairs so we can finish this in comfort,” she murmured, persisting with her sensual torment.
With one swift movement, Tom bent and scooped her up in his arms. His mouth met hers in a scorching kiss that sent her heart racing and made her ravenous for more. With her arms draped around his neck, she tortured him with kisses all over his face. Eventually, she fused her mouth to his and didn’t come up for air until he kicked open their bedroom door.
The familiar sight and smell of the room nearly overwhelmed her. After so long in a hospital, surrounded by disinfectant and sickness, it was beyond wonderful to be back in their room, the place where they’d made so many memories.
Tom laid her gently on the bed and she dragged him down on top of her. Toeing off her shoes, she tugged up her knee-length, fitted dress to better slide her legs around him. With her foot, she rubbed up and down his leg, loving the feel of him through the denim of his jeans. Familiar, strong, secure—her husband, her rock.
Tom stroked up her ribcage and then cupped both of her breasts. Staring down at her, he bent his head forward and laved them through her dress. The feel of his hot breath stole right through the linen and sent heat all the way to her core. She moved against him, needing so much more.
Taking her silent cue, he rolled her gently onto her side. Tugging the zipper down on her dress, he slowly pushed it off her shoulders. Within moments, her bra had joined the dress which now lay in a pile on the floor. Clad only in her panties, Tom’s gaze rested on the fresh pink scars on her abdomen and his expression grew fierce.
“I can’t believe how close I came to losing you,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “I don’t know what I would have done without you. Please don’t scare me like that again. I don’t think I could survive another one.”
Lily reached up and smoothed the frown lines off his face. “I’m here, my darling, alive and well and I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be around for a long, long time to come. So come and love me and let’s not talk about what happened ever again.”
With that, she pulled him down until their lips met once again and she kissed him with all the love and pent up passion inside her. They might have had a rocky start in the early part of their relationship, but sixteen years later, their love burned stronger than ever. He was her husband, her life partner, her very best friend. He was her everything.
It was a long time later, breathless and exhausted, they collapsed back against the pillows. Tom had loved every inch of her with his mouth and his tongue and his body and she’d gladly returned each loving gesture. Now, utterly replete, she reached for his hand, threaded her fingers through his and sighed in contentment. “Happy anniversary,” she murmured and leaned over and kissed him softly on the mouth.
Tom half-sat up and stared down at her, a frown marring his forehead. “Really? It’s our anniversary? I’m so sorry, honey. I forgot all about it.”
“That’s okay. You’ve had a lot on your mind. I’ve had plenty of time lying around in a hospital bed to remember.”
“The last time I thought about our anniversary was the day of the shooting. I remember talking to Andy and thinking about the gift I might buy. Then we got the phone call and everything went sideways.”
Lily reached up and pulled him back down and he pulled her in close against his side. “I don’t need gifts to remind me of your love, Tom. Every moment we’re together reinforces how much you mean to me. Having you here with me, going through life with you by my side—it’s all I’ll ever want or need.”
Tom’s eyes darkened with emotion and he kissed Lily hard on the lips. “You can’t imagine how lonely it’s been without you. Lying in this big old bed alone. It was awful.” His arms tightened around her almost painfully and she knew exactly how he felt. He pressed his lips against her hair and whispered, “I missed you so much.”
Snuggling against him, she breathed in his familiar scent and thanked God they’d both been spared. Along with Cassie and their beautiful son, she had much to be grateful for. At the thought of their daughter, she sighed quietly.
“What is it, babe?” Tom asked, sounding like he was on the verge of sleep.
“I was just thinking about Cassie. Now that I’m home, we need to talk to her.”
“She spent quite a lot of time talking with Josie while she was here. I think she benefited from that,” he mumbled.
“I’m sure she did. Josie’s an excellent child psychologist and, being family, Cassie might have found it easier to talk to her, but we’re her parents, Tom. We need to talk to her.”
He sighed heavily. “Yes. We do. Just, not right now. I’d like to have these few moments with my beautiful wife by my side and just kind of drift off for a while and pretend everything’s right with the world.”
She smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. Pushing her concerns about Cassie aside for just a little while longer, she curled up against the curve of her husband’s back.
* * *
Tom heard the sound of the front door opening and closing and looked up from where he stood at the kitchen counter. Catching sight of Cassie’s backpack as she disappeared up the stairs, he wiped his hands on a tea towel and went into the living room to find Lily. She was seated in her favorite recliner, reading a magazine.
“The kids are home from school. Do you think we should go and talk to them?”
“I guess now’s as good a time as any.” Setting aside her magazine, she dragged herself out of the chair, her expression somber. He put his arm around her and gave her a brief, hard hug.
“It will be fine. You’ll see. Cassie will expect us to talk to her about what happened, including the drugs and alcohol. In fact, it will probably be a relief for her too, to have this over with.”
“Yes, I’m sure you’re right. And it’s important for Joe to listen to what we have to say. I’ve been worried about how he’s been holding up through all of this. We don’t want a repeat of this in another few years.”
“That’s for sure. Let’s do it.”
They started up the stairs, Lily in the lead. Tom let her make the climb at her own pace, mindful that she was still recovering from her injuries. The door to Cassie’s room was closed. Tom knocked on it and then opened it.
“Hey, Cass, can we come in?” he said.
She looked up at her parents from her place on the bed. A flash of fear, followed by resignation, clouded her eyes.