The Silk Vendetta (42 page)

I said: ”It is all in the past, Drake. No good comes of thinking of what might have been.”

“I could find it more tolerable if I knew that you loved me. If I had asked you, would you have married me?”

I nodded.

“Lenore, that has made me very happy.”

“We should not talk of these things.”

“What you have said makes me feel that I can tolerate life here in London the more easily … thinking of you. We must meet again here.”

“I can’t believe that would be a wise thing to do.”

“We could meet… by chance … by the pond. If I could just see you from time to time …”

I shook my head.

“Please,” he said. “It would help me so much.”

”We should not make a habit of it.”

His face lightened. “I want to talk to you about so many things … politics … the constituency … I’ve often looked up at the gallery and imagined you were there. You would have come to see me at the House, wouldn’t you? You would have done so much to help me. Julia, I think, hates my work. I feel so much better now that you are back.”

He seemed so vulnerable, which was strange for Drake. From the moment he had visited The Silk House he had seemed the strong one. Julia was ruining her life with drink. I was sorry for her but I could see that Drake was almost as helpless.

Surely there could be no harm in an occasional meeting in the park?

My father had gone back to France and I turned once more to work which had been such a solace to me on other occasions. There was plenty to occupy me. I tried not to think of the Comte.

Grand’mere was right about him. To him I was just another woman whom it pleased him to pursue for a time. I imagined that since the hunt had not been productive he had decided to turn his attention elsewhere. I was depressed hoping that he would come to London and prove to Grand’mere that she had misjudged him.

Drake was a more immediate concern. He called at the salon. There was a certain recklessness about him. Grand’mere was very fond of him, but she did not wish me to be caught up with a man who had a wife. That would be even more undesirable than my friendship with the Comte.

I had told Drake several times that we should not see each other, but he was so sad when I did. “To see you … to talk to you … I cannot explain what it means to me. Sometimes I am afraid of what I will do if I don’t break away.”

“You have always been so calm,” I told him. “So very able to deal with any situation.”

“I have never been faced with such a situation before and to realize I have brought it on myself does not make it any more acceptable. There are times when I can hardly trust myself not to do her some injury.”

“For Heaven’s sake, don’t talk like that.”

“I can understand how some people are goaded too far. I want you to know my feelings, Lenore. These meetings with you do so much for me. I must see you.”

I was really afraid for him. I was very fond of him. I did see in him all the sterling qualities Grand’mere had pointed out to me. After all, he was in this position because of his honourable nature. He had married Julia because he had thought it was the only right thing to do. How could he have guessed that she had tricked him.

I was desperately sorry for him—and in a way for Julia too. I knew from Cassie what the situation was for when she was in a state of intoxication, Julia could be very frank.

I could see it all so clearly: Julia passionately in love with a husband who hated her. I think she had loved Drake … idolized him … from the time he had come to The Silk House as a handsome boy, head of the school, the hero, looked up to by Charles who had considered it such an honour when Drake consented to spend his holidays with him. I remembered her wrath against me when he had gone. Julia had wanted Drake from the moment she had set eyes on him. She had contrived to get him— but in trapping him, she had lost him.

Poor Julia! I could imagine those tormented nights when he was in the house … sleeping in another room. She had told Cassie how she paced her room, railing against his indifference, turning to the bottle which was always beside her wherever she was. She told me of the quarrels between them, how she was always upbraiding him because he did not care for her enough, how he would not indulge in quarrels. “Escape! He always wants to escape,” Julia had cried. “He always wants to get away from me but I will never let him do that. He is mine for as long as we live. If I can’t have him, no one else shall.”

T thought a great deal about them. It stopped my thinking solely of the Comte and wondering what he was doing now. I imagined he had returned to Carsonne. I wondered if he ever thought of me. Perhaps new and then as the frigid woman who had refused to be seduced … and on whom he had wasted too much time.

And so I continued to see Drake. It was unavoidable. When I went out he would be waiting for me. It was no use remonstrating with him. I could see how much he needed companionship. We talked of the state of the government and what Salisbury was doing and what Gladstone would have done, but somehow we always got back to Julia.

There was a little tea shop just off Piccadilly conveniently near. It was a pleasant place with tables in alcoves where one could talk in peace. They sold delicious maids-of-honour and madeleines. Katie considered it a special treat to be brought there to tea.

One day we went there. We sat and talked. I wanted to hear how things were going. I was always trying to make him forget his unsatisfactory marriage which I hoped he would do by his complete absorption in politics.

He brightened considerably when he discussed his aims and achievements. He confided in me his concern about the health of Gladstone which was fast failing.

“Rosebery is not his equal,” he said. “But then, who is?”

“Gladstone could not always hold the party together, and he is now an old man.”

“There are many people jostling for power … ready to do anything however discreditable to take a step up the ladder.”

“But you are not like that, Drake.”

“Perhaps that is a lack in me.”

“Never,” I assured him.

“Oh, Lenore, how different it might have been. When I think of that I feel mad with rage. So easily it could have happened and somehow it slipped away from me.”

“There’s no going back, Drake.”

“I have loved you ever since I brought you out of that mausoleum. You were so small and frightened. Then I didn’t see you for years … but I felt the same when I did. Why did she have to be there? If I were free, you would marry me.”

I was silent.

“You would, wouldn’t you, Lenore?” he said earnestly. “You do love me?”

It was almost as though the Comte were sitting opposite me, laughing. Do you feel excited with him? Do you feel that sense of adventure? Do you feel that you want to be with him more than anyone else on earth? That is how you feel about me, Madame Sallonger. Do you feel the same for this man? Tell the truth now.

I said: “I’m so fond of you, Drake. I love you, but being in love is different, isn’t it?”

He looked at me steadily. “You mean you are fond of me but not in love with me?”

”I was in love with Philip and I thought it would be forever. And, Drake, it is unwise to talk in this way.”

“I could make you happy, Lenore, if…”

“It cannot be,” I said.

He was silent and so was I. I wished I could rid my mind of the image of that dark sceptical face. But I felt I never would forget it and it was going to make all the difference to my feelings for anyone else.

He put his hand across the table and held mine.

Then I heard my own name. “Lenore! How wonderful to see you!”

Charles was standing by our table. Embarrassed, I hastily removed my hand.

“Lenore… and my respected brother-in-law! How are you, Lenore? You look well.”

I was blushing, for being so discovered by him.

He was not alone. There was a woman with him and her face was vaguely familiar.

“This,” he said, “is Signorina de’ Pucci.”

She smiled and bowed her head. She was outstandingly beautiful; her almost coal black hair was visible under the jaunty white straw hat with its black and white ribbons; her costume was black with white stripes, and the frilly silk blouse she wore was white. She was a very elegant woman.

“This is Madame Lenore of the Lenore Salon of which, dear Signorina, you will be aware if you spend much time in London. Lenore is a very clever business woman; and this is my brother-in-law, Drake Aldringham.”

She said she was charmed. She had a faint accent which like everything else about her was charming. Her name was familiar as was her face… although it was many years since I had seen her.

I said: “I remember now. You had an accident and came to The Silk House.”

Her face lit up. “So you remember.”

“It was hardly the sort of thing one forgets.”

“You were the new bride. Oh, I recall it so well… such a charming couple. And your husband … ?” She looked at Drake in puzzlement.

“Yes,” I said, “Philip Sallonger. He died soon after.”

“Oh … how sad.”

Charles was giving me that speculative look which I remembered so well.

“We have just had tea,” he said. “Those maids-of-honour are delicious. I was determined to introduce Signorina de’ Pucci to them while she is in London.”

I said: ”It all comes back to me so vividly. You left us suddenly.”

“I did not think it was sudden. My brother sent for me … and I went.”

“I was furious, wasn’t I, Lenore?” said Charles.

“Yes, you were.”

“But why?” she asked. “Why should you be furious?”

“Because you had left us. I wanted us to get more and more acquainted. We were making good progress.”

“Has Julia met the Signorina?” I asked.

Charles shook his head. “She will, though. She will be interested. We all remember your visit so well.”

“I trust there were no ill effects from the injury?”

“Injury?” she murmured.

“Didn’t you hurt your ankle in the carriage upset?”

“Yes … so I did. It soon healed.” She smiled charmingly at Drake. “I do not know what would have become of me but for these good friends.”

“We were glad to do what we could,” said Charles. “By great good fortune I ran into the Signorina close to the house. We stared at each other. I’m afraid I was rather rude.”

“No … no,” she protested.

“I was so delighted,” said Charles.

“And how long will you be in England this time?” I asked.

“It depends on my brother. He does much business. He is in your Midlands. When he comes I go back with him.”

“I remember your maid … Maria. Is she still with you?”

“Maria is with me.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“I shall see that she does,” promised Charles. “Well… I did enjoy seeing you both.” He looked from one to the other of us significantly. ”I daresay we shall see you again. I am taking the Signorina to see Julia now. Au revoir.”

I watched them go. Then I said: ”That was most unfortunate. I mean … Charles’s seeing us together here.”

Drake lifted his shoulders. I thought then that he was so desperately immersed in his own unfortunate situation that he refused to see the danger. But I did not like the manner in which Charles had looked at us; nor did I like the implication of his words.

I told Drake what had happened, how the Italian had had her accident outside The Silk House and had stayed there for a few days, and how she had left to join her brother and there were only letters of thanks sent from a London hotel, so that she had completely disappeared from our lives.

“It was soon after that that Philip died,” I said. “I forgot all about the incident. In fact at first I could not recall who she was, although she seemed familiar.”

“It’s interesting that Charles should have met her…just by chance.”

“It seems to me that almost everything happens just by chance.”

After I was back in the salon I could not help thinking about that meeting in the tea shop, and I felt rather uneasy because Charles had discovered Drake and me there together, and of the construction which I was afraid a man of his nature might put upon it.

It was Cassie who told me about Charles and Madalenna de’ Pucci.

“She is staying in a hotel with her maid while she is waiting for her brother to join her.”

“Yes. She mentioned that when I met her.” I had told Cassie about seeing her in the tea shop where Drake and I had decided to have some tea.

Cassie looked a little subdued. She knew about my friendship with Drake. In fact she knew a good deal. Cassie was inclined to live vicariously. She was very interested in what happened to other people. She was kindly and deeply understanding and I had always thought that this was due to her interest in people. She knew them so well that she understood their motives and that made her sympathetic towards them.

“Charles,” she told me, “is very taken with her. Of course she is very beautiful … exceptionally so and I suppose being foreign makes her look more so. It is very sad about Charles and Helen.” Helen was his wife. “He has never been a faithful husband. I think she has long accepted that. But in this case he seems to be deeply involved.”

I said: “He was attracted to her when she came to the house before. I remember how angry he was when she went away without letting him know where.”

“It is very distressing. When I think of that marriage … and Julia and Drake … I come to the conclusion that one is often better off single.”

“It makes life less complicated,” I agreed. “One is on an even keel. There are lots of ups and downs in most relationships.”

“I should hate to be Helen with an unfaithful husband … or Julia to love so intensely and be rejected. It was different with you and Philip. That was wonderful but he died.”

I nodded.

“I’m sorry,” went on Cassie. “I should not have mentioned it and reminded you. Oh dear, you ought to have married Drake. It is clear that he loves you. It was what your grandmother wanted.”

“Things don’t always turn out as people want them to.”

“I do wish Julia could be happy. But I don’t think she ever will be. I am afraid she is getting worse. She is drinking all the time … far more than we see. She was lying down when I last called and I went to her bedroom. I was sure she was intoxicated. I went to the wardrobe to get her a wrap and I saw several bottles there. She drinks in secret as well as in front of everybody. How did she get like that, Lenore? Was it unhappiness?”