The Sin Collector (5 page)

He smiled at me warmly but with a hint of hesitation. I had a million questions racing through my mind. I could have written a list a mile long. I ran through them in my head as I stared into his eyes, and somehow I managed to blurt out the dumbest one on the list.

“Billy, why the hell are you wearing contacts?” Sitting this close I could see the light ring on the white of his eye. His strange eye color had been created by putting bright green contacts over even brighter blue irises. He appeared to be as shocked by my first question as I was when I blurted it out, but he seemed to instantly relax. I think he was worried about how I would react to seeing him again, and my response had been a sign that I wasn’t going to react badly.

“Precautionary measures, I was always bad at hiding my eyes. The contacts seem to distract people from looking too deep. I don’t know
why
it works; only that it does. Misdirection maybe?” He smiled with satisfaction, as if he had solved some intense ancient mystery with just a pair of Acuvue contact lenses, which, I guess, he sort of had. I sat there quietly, trying to come up with a question that wasn’t quite as superfluous as my last one had been.

“Why are you using a different name?” I asked cautiously. I was suddenly more alert to the fact that I sat across from someone who literally knew everything about what I was. It made me more than a little nervous.

“I use several aliases when I am working with other people. Is there some place we could talk more privately? I could get a hotel room.”

The thought of us going to a hotel room was not as appealing now as it had been when I first saw him. My apartment would probably be better, at least familiar surroundings and everything. I could definitely pull myself together at my apartment.

“We’ll go to my place. You can follow me there. It looks like the library is closing early again today.” I got up and without question he watched me get my things out of the filing cabinet and followed me out the door, grabbing all his books off the table on the way past. I turned toward my bike realizing the lot was otherwise empty. He must have seen my curious expression because he answered me before I could ask.

“I’m parked around the block; I’ll be back in a minute.” And he jogged off.

A few minutes later an Army-SUV pulled in behind my bike. He followed me home, keeping himself at least two car lengths behind me. Every red light I would try to steal a glance at his face, and he always had the same inexplicable look of concern. We parked next to each other in my apartment’s lot and I was once again hit by a wave of nerves. I didn’t bring people home; in fact the only person to ever see my apartment was Sofie.

“I can’t believe you drive a bike. I thought at any moment you’d go flying off and get sucked under the wheels of my SUV.”

I stopped abruptly outside the door of my apartment and glared at him.

“Listen up” I said exasperated and louder than necessary. “I can handle my bike just fine. I flew into a tree
once
and then it never happened again. Why were you even worried about it? You know it wouldn’t hurt me.” Then I stomped into my apartment. He entered slowly, probably afraid I was going to yell at him some more, but my earlier thoughts about my apartment had been correct. I could feel myself calming down as I saw Valentine sleeping in the middle of my bed, and the pile of old books teetering on the edge of my desk. I had been trying to organize my thoughts on the drive home and I knew which question I was going to start with. I gestured for him to have a seat on the couch while I curled up on the overstuffed armchair across from him. I was trying to calm myself down when Valentine jumped into my lap.

“Awww you have a cat LiLi.” He sounded surprised by the normalcy of the situation. As he spoke, Valentine arched his back and hissed before settling himself in a more comfortable position to glower at Billy.

“Awww LiLi, you have an evil cat.” He had more humor in his voice now.

“He just doesn’t like new people, especially ones who judge his Mother’s mode of transportation.” He was chuckling now and I tried to pull my crap together.

“I have a million questions, but before I get to all of them, how is it we can even be sitting here like this? We have been in the same room all day. Olexander said it would be painful, practically impossible.”

He looked instantly uneasy, like he was hoping this was the one question I wasn’t going to ask him. He shifted his weight around on the cushions, fidgeting and re-adjusting his shirt before he answered.

“I’ve never done the ritual LiLi, not once. I don’t have sins of others in me like Collectors usually do. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have even been able to sit in the library with you.”

“How is that possible? Clara was your Mentor wasn’t she. She didn’t teach you? Did something happen to her?”

He squirmed again tugging at the bottom of his shirt.

“
Clara was my Mentor, but she was also my Mother, she didn’t want this life for me, she didn’t want me to see death. I think part of her was selfish. She knew that once I began Collecting that we couldn’t be together anymore. She taught me the ritual of course. I know the mechanics of it, but I’ve just never practiced it. Clara is just fine. We visit often, and she lives in Dublin now. There are still people there that believe in the old ways.”

I could feel the shock on my face. “How is Clara your Mother? Sin-Eaters can’t have children. Didn’t you ever want to practice?”

“She doesn’t know how it happened, just that it did. She has never told me who my father is. I was selfish too, I didn’t want to never see my Mother again, but more than that I don’t think it’s my place. I’m not God LiLi. Who am I to decide whose sins are taken? What if I took unforgivable sins and let a monster sleep in peace? I couldn’t live with myself for all eternity like that.”

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I got up from the chair to pace back and forth. Of course, I had thought the same thing over the years. I had voiced the same concerns before I’d ever even reached my 20
^th
birthday. Olexander said it was why I was born. It was my destiny; I didn’t have a choice. I was horribly furious. All the things I’d seen. All the sins I’d felt. I could have avoided it all if I hadn’t believed everything I had been told.

“Maybe you should sit down and take a few deep breaths,” he said in an uneasy voice.

“Why are you here Billy? Why are you researching Sin-Eaters? What do you want from me?” I plopped back down and Valentine instantly jumped back into my lap. Apparently, he was acting as my guard dog today. Billy started speaking again, but very slowly, almost like he was talking to a child. It was irritating as all hell.

“Your boss, he has a reputation for being able to find rare books. I found his credentials on a website and I contacted him, but he never emailed me back. I was in the area and so I thought I would stop by to see him. I didn’t know you were there, but when I saw you last night my heart nearly stopped. I wasn’t
looking
for you. I wasn’t sure it was you at first, but you were so careful to not look me in the eyes, and then I heard your voice.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you are here researching at all.” I said weakly.

“
I have spent the better part of fifteen years trying to learn everything about us that I could. Most of my life I have tried to pretend I wasn’t different from everyone else. I could feel their sins, but without practicing the ritual, I don’t think I feel them as forcibly as you do. I wanted to know why we exist. Haven’t you ever wanted to know where you came from LiLi?”

I was indignant. I didn’t like how he seemed so sure I had been an unquestioning drone for 100 years. Just because I had accepted my fate more readily than he had didn’t mean I was an idiot.

“Of course I wanted to know,” I said with fury lacing my voice. “Where was I supposed to look? There is more information in comic books than in the real world. I didn’t even know where to find another Collector. It’s not like we are on Match.com.”

He stood up to put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged away.

“Maybe we should wait a bit before I answer any more questions. Do you want me to leave? Or I could crash here…”

“Crash into the side of a mountain for all I care.” I grabbed my jacket and purse off of the hook by the door, not even bothering to get my helmet and stomped out. I drove around town trying to get past the annoying desire to rip Billy’s head off. I hadn’t seen him in 112 years, but I had thought we were friends once. Why hadn’t he been looking for me? Why didn’t he find me when we were much younger and tell me I had a choice? My rational mind knew that he probably hadn’t thought of me much after he had left our town, and that it wasn’t his job to inform those of us too full of blind faith. I knew all the feelings I was having weren’t his fault, but I still wanted to smack him.

I suddenly realized I was driving very fast, in a hurry to get home. What if he wasn’t there? What if my infantile behavior had caused him to leave and I would never see him again. I had been gone for hours; it was just starting to get dark outside. I wasn’t paying attention going around the final curve to my apartment and skidded on the gravel. I went flying off into a pile of leaves and brush. I lay there. Nothing hurt but my pride, and prayed no one had seen me. After not hearing any movement for several minutes, I trudged back to my bike, stood it upright, and pushed it the rest of the way home. Walking back into my apartment I was relieved to see him sitting in my armchair reading a book of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. His stared at me wide-eyed as I walked in, a quick glance at the hall mirror told me why. My hair was full of leaves, twigs, and a piece of a broken daisy. I sighed and plopped down on the couch.

“Do.Not.Say.A.Word,” I said staring him right in the eyes.

He stifled his laughter as best he could, “I see where your cat gets his glare.”

I threw a pillow at this head and propped my feet up on the coffee table. I pulled yesterday’s unfinished bottle of cherry cola out of my bag and took a swig. He watched my action confused.

“You don’t have to pretend to have human idiosyncrasies around me, remember?”

“I’m not pretending. I like the taste of it.”

“I’m very sorry about your friend. You seemed very close to him.”

His eyes were apologetic. I also noticed for the first time they were their real color, he had taken his contacts out. In all the new information, I had pushed George to the back of my mind. Now I could feel the tug of my heart. My voice only came out in a whisper.

“He was a very good man. One of the best I’ve ever met. I’m going to miss him.”

“He’s in a better place now LiLi, I’m sure of it.” The ferocity of his voice was very convincing and so I took comfort in the thought for a little while and again we sat in silence.

“I lied.” He whispered the words so low I nearly missed them.

“You lied? You aren’t Billy the immortal non-Collector?”

“No, well yes, I am, but I lied earlier. When I said I wasn’t looking for you. I have looked for you before. I heard a rumor about a female Collector in Paris in 1911, then again in 1918 in Russia. Both times obviously it wasn’t you. The last time I’d heard of one of our kind at all was in Louisville, 1937, but I had missed that Collector as well.”

I gasped. “I was in Louisville. There were over 350 dead from the flood.” I was angry that I had missed him. I remembered it all though, and I knew why I had to miss him. I couldn’t linger in one place too long, especially after I had performed the ritual. I couldn’t be identified. Again the anger overtook me that I had not felt like I had another choice.

“You haven’t performed the ritual in a long time though,” he said. It was phrased more like a statement than a question.

“How would you know that?”

“I can still feel the sins, and I can tell they are old. Why did you stop?”

I didn’t want to admit my reasons. Mine weren’t as noble as his. God had nothing to do with my decision. Nor did right and wrong.

“I became too attached to them. The humans I mean, it hurt too much to watch them die. It wasn’t hard to stop, no one really believed in Collectors anymore.” I shrugged.

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He got up and came to sit next to me on the couch throwing his muscular arm around my neck.

“So what do you think LiLi? Do you want to help me? You could help me search. I would love to have you with me.”