The Sinister Mr. Corpse (28 page)

By now, I hope you've accepted that this
bonus material is not going to deepen your understanding and
appreciation of the work of literature you've just finished
reading. I wish I had some outtakes to include. I do have this one,
which was part of the section with all of the newspaper headlines
and Stanley doing all kinds of famous-person stuff:

Jeff Probst's expression was unreadable as he
held up the final vote. "The first person voted out of Celebrity
Survivor is...Stanley."

"[Expletive deleted]!"

But nobody at Project Second Chance would've
let Stanley take a few weeks off to be on
Survivor,
and he
probably wouldn't have wanted to do it anyway, and the destruction
of logic was not worth the opportunity to create a scenario where
if I ever ran into Jeff Probst I could say "Dude! I love your show
and I made a joke about it in my zombie novel!" He'll probably
never read this book, and that is the darkest tragedy of my
life.

Wow, this padding went by pretty quick, huh?
Thanks for reading.

--Jeff Strand