Authors: June Ahern
“
Dunno,” she replied patting her lap to Simon.
“
It sounds like you feel you’re connected to your mother’s life in a subconscious way. Would you like to learn how to separate from her past?” the doctor asked.
“
Doctor, are you saying that children might be linked to their parents through more than just inheriting their genes, like eye coloring?” Cathy asked. “Do you think they can inherit our past experiences, too?”
“
That’s an interesting hypothesis. A psychiatrist named Carl Jung had a theory on how the collective unconsciousness is the great circle that links all living things. And Albert Einstein talked about parallel worlds. The longer I live the more I learn there’s more than what meets the eye. But let’s discuss this next week. In the meantime, the rule is, no more blaming or accusing if you talk further about what you have learned here today. Agreed?” Dr. Weissman asked to the two.
Cathy agreed easily, June reluctantly. They gathered up their coats and purses. Neither spoke as they left.
Not a word passed between mother and daughter during the short elevator ride downstairs. As the door rolled open, June dashed outside and away from her mother.
The ground rumbled and a bell clanged loudly, announcing the cable car. They watched the cable car appear over the top of the hill through the misty light rain. It shuddered to a stop, shaking from its effort to climb the steep San Francisco hills. They climbed aboard. Cathy tightened her scarf to protect her hair against the increasing rainfall. She was wary of how they would fare on the ride home.
Cathy glanced at her daughter slouching on the wooden bench. Her red beret, tipped to one side of her head, was perfectly angled. Her daughter
’s profile, with its small, straight nose and full pouting lips, reminded Cathy of herself many years ago when she, too, had spunk. She shivered as a gust of wind raced up her skirt. She wished they had sat inside the cable car, but June had chosen the outside seat. Cathy said nothing, not wanting to add more tension to the situation.
A strong wind blew open June
’s unbuttoned pea coat. She pulled it tightly around her chest. She looked down at the passing road and saw raindrops dribbling down her mother’s nylon-clad legs, while her own legs were kept dry by her pants. A stab of guilt pricked at her for choosing to sit outside.
Cathy scooted closer to her. She tried to say something, but between the noise of the cable car and the blowing wind, June couldn
’t hear the words. She leaned closer to speak directly into June’s ear, “I’m sorry for all the times I hurt you. Please forgive me.”
This time June heard her. She tightened her lips, not wanting to accept the apology. Casting her eyes upward, she blinked away her tears. She noticed the rain had finally lessened and patc
hes of blue sky shone through. No matter how much she wanted to keep blaming her mother for all her unhappiness and stay angry at all the times she was disappointed by her, June couldn’t. She loved her mother and wanted to be close to her. If she wanted her mother to accept her, June would have to accept her also.
The grinding noise of the cable car
’s brakes as it slowed to their stop was ear-piercing. June stood and took hold of the metal pole. She swayed outward as she readied herself to jump from the platform when they reached the intersection of Powell Street at Market Street. The thrill of hanging out of the cable car and the feel of the brisk wind against her face had charged her energy. She felt a sense of freedom.
As they lurched to a stop she hopped off and hollered to her mother,
“Did you get a transfer?”
Cathy nodded a
“yes,” and gingerly stretched out a foot to get down from the cable car. June took hold of her arm.
When Cathy was steady on the sidewalk, June threw her arms around her mother in a tight bear hug.
“I love you, Mommy,” the teen said, to Cathy’s surprise.
She returned the hug, clinging a bit longer than normal before letting go and remarking,
“You’re taller than me now.”
Arm in arm, they walked over to the Woolworth
’s department store on Market Street to look at the items for sale in the window.
“
We could get that for Maggie’s baby,” June said pointing to a pale-pink baby jacket and hat.
“
I’ve already crocheted a yellow and white set,” Cathy said.
“
Bet it’s a girl,” June said.
“
Making a prediction?” Cathy’s eyes twinkled in mirth.
June smiled and shrugged a shoulder.
“Maybe. I think you’re a good witch like me. You can join my coven. Only Brian’s in it. That’ll make three of us.” She smiled shyly at her mother.
“
Okay. I could show you a thing or two, Missy Witchy,” Cathy laughed bumping her shoulder against her daughter.
“
Do you have psychic powers, too?” June asked, curiosity sharpening her eyes.
“
Nothing more than the usual mother’s intuition. I was always interested in people like you who do though.”
June was happy to hear her mother believed in her.
“I thought all witches would have them,” she said.
“
I said I was a pagan, not a witch. Eilidth warned me to never use that word because of the bad connotations associated with it. It’s true pagans are often highly sensitive to the changes in nature and how it influences their lives. Some pagans have the ability of second sight. We call them fey in Scotland. Others have different gifts. Eilidth was a well-known herbalist. She used the local plants and flowers to heal her family and neighbors. Her sister was a storyteller who kept alive Highlanders’ legends in the Gaelic language the English had banned.”
“
Is bidh sàmhach a Gaelic word?” June asked, saying the words to sound more like, bee savax.
Her mother laughed loudly in surprise.
“Yes! It means to be quiet. How’d you know? Oh, never mind. I know. Your angel told you.”
Cathy
’s usual pallor now glowed with a pretty soft pink coloring in her cheeks.
“
You were happy there, huh?” June was eager for more information about her mother’s past.
“
Very. Skye is a beautiful and magical place. And Eilidth was so kind to me. Never once did she tell me what I had to do to fit in. Did you know her name translates to Helen? I think I was trying to bring that happiness of being with Eilidth back to my life when I named your dear sister after her. But I couldn’t talk about my life in Skye to my family in Glasgow. I had to keep it secret. Always the damn secrets.”
June didn
’t want Cathy to sink back into unhappy memories. “Let’s celebrate. We’ll call Mary and have her walk down to meet us at South China for dinner,” she said referring to the popular Chinese restaurant in The Valley. June and her sisters had often sat in the wooden booths designed for privacy and dined on several plates filled with a variety of good food with Dave and the Callaghans.
“
Annie will be just getting off work. She can meet us there, too,” June said.
She wanted to include her eldest sister, who worked at Hibernia Bank on the corner of Castro and Eighteenth Streets. Since her marriage to Dave, Annie had lived in a studio apartment on Hancock Street. It was an easy walk from Liberty Street to visit and keep her company while Dave worked at night and went to the Police Academy through the day. June could tell Annie was lonely for her family
’s company.
“
Can’t. I’ve got to get your Daddy’s din…” Cathy suddenly halted and said enthusiastically, “That’s a grand idea, pet!”
At their bus stop in front of Woolworth
’s June dropped a dime into a pay telephone. It rang a half-dozen times before she started to hang up, disappointed. Then she heard a snappish, “Yeah?”
“
Hey Mary, it’s me. I’m with Mommy and…”
“
Let me talk to her,” Mary said brusquely.
June handed over the phone scowling at Mary
’s rude tone.
Cathy listened with wide eyes.
“Right. Where? Leave a note for Dad.”
She hung up the phone and filled June in.
“Annie was outside when you called. She was in the car waiting for Mary. They’re on their way to drive Maggie to the hospital. She’s in labor. Now, which bus takes us to St. Mary’s Hospital?”
They
stared out at the bustling crowd and full buses going past on Market Street and started to reconnoiter a route to their new destination.
* * * * *
BLESSED BE
!
SAINT MARY’S HOSPITAL sat across from Golden Gate Park. Three nuns glided past Cathy and June in single file. They wore large white-winged headdresses and soft dove-gray habits with white collars that dipped down their chests. Reverently, Cathy lowered her eyes and greeted them softly, “Good evening, Sisters.” The three gave a slight nod and smiled benevolently.
June
spotted Annie sitting uncomfortably on a sagging, dark-brown couch in the visitor’s lounge. In her seventh month of pregnancy, her stomach was so big that she looked like a butterball.
Across from her
Mary sat splayed out across one of the twin couches.
“
Thank God, you’re here, Mom,” Annie said as she struggled to get up, her belly challenging an easy rise from the low couch. Her mother went to help.
“
We’ve got to get the story straight,” Annie said bossily.
“
Let’s go to Maggie,” said June.
“
In a minute,” Annie answered impatiently.
Under her breath, June whispered to Mary,
“Man, you’re stoned. Why now?”
Mary tapped her chest.
“Mea culpa.”
Annie gestured for the family to form a huddle. She explained the importance of coming up with a story about the whereabouts of Maggie
’s husband.
Usually, young women in Maggie
’s predicament were sent to San Francisco’s St. Elizabeth’s Home for Unwed Mothers. Or they left town and returned without a baby. Either option was better than bringing shame to their families.
“
Why did she have to pick a Catholic hospital?” Annie complained. “She could have gone to San Francisco General Hospital and we wouldn’t have to fake her being married. I hope we don’t have to lie to one of the nuns.” She was worried because many of the hospital’s nurses were nuns.
No one had a ready answer to the unacceptable situation.
Mary finally offered a solution. “Say her husband is a soldier stationed at Camp Pendleton.” That was the Marine Corps Base in Southern California where Eddie had trained.
“
Tell them her husband went to war in Vietnam. They’ll feel sorry for her,” June said, keeping her voice low and enjoying the intrigue.
“I tried to put my wedding band on her, but her finger’s too fat.” Annie ignored her sisters’ ideas and kept focused on the issue of her unwed sister.
“
Oh goody, Maggie’s fat,” Mary said gleefully.
“
I’ll put my ring on her. Let’s go. She’ll be needing me,” Cathy said.
“
Wait. That’s only part of it. What’ll we say if the baby comes out black?” Annie fretted.
The four looked at each other, puzzled and unsure of what might happen if their milky-white, strawberry-blonde relative produced a black baby. No one had an answer to that one.
The hallway was becoming busy with visitors arriving and milling around them.
Their silence lengthened.
At last, June spoke. “How about saying the baby is a Black Scot. You know, like the Black Irish?”
Mary guffawed loudly.
“It’s no joke!” Annie hissed.
Cathy said sternly,
“Girls, that’s enough. The only important thing we should worry about is that the baby be healthy.” She then abruptly broke away from the huddle and hurried off toward the elevators. The sound of her heels clicked rapidly behind her.
“
Let’s skedaddle,” Mary said.
The sisters followed their mother to the elevators and into the maternity ward where a nurse directed them to Maggie
’s room. Writhing beneath a white sheet was a very pregnant Maggie, looking quite woebegone. With her face scrunched up with pain, she stretched out her hand to her mother to plead for help.
“
Now, now, pet. Don’t make it worse for yourself. You’ve got to relax,” Cathy said, trying to ease her daughter’s grasp. “Go with the contractions. Breathe deep, in and out.” Cathy breathed deeply to show how it was done.
A seasoned nurse, stern of face and round of girth, came bustling into the room. Her mouth set tartly when she saw the group gathered around her patient.
“Visitors are not allowed in the patient’s room. You may wait in the lounge on the first floor.”
The family began to shuffle away from the bed.