The Society of Dread (17 page)

At the mention of the faceless man, the Dodo frowned deeply, his talon-like hands twitching, as if out of control.

‘You know him?’ asked Theo.

The Dodo leant heavily on the table, his breath shuddering. ‘Of course. We were born in the same age. So, the Incinerated Man has survived the march of time too. To what ill fate, one wonders.’

‘Dr Pyre is controlling the crelp,’ Theo summed up. ‘He’s the one who lets them out. If he can be stopped, then so can the crelp.’

The Dodo folded his stiff hands together and
peered over them, deep in thought. ‘You bring me hope,’ he said, his words muffled due to his ungainly, oversized tongue. ‘A dark, difficult hope, but a true hope nonetheless.’

One of the white-coated workers placed an ornate water jug, decorated with a carving of a heron, in the centre of the table, along with four enormous crystal goblets.

‘Refreshment?’ Lady Blessing asked, waving a pale hand at a stray cloud of smoke from Skun’s corner. ‘If we cannot be sane, then at least we can be civilised.’

‘Is there any cake?’ Theo asked.

‘No,’ said Lady Blessing. ‘Well, only seed cake, maize cake and acorn cake for the animals.’

‘Send round to the shop for fairy cakes,’ the Dodo said. ‘Get about thirty.’

‘We need a name,’ said Skun, his face screwed up in fierce thought. ‘A name to resound throughout legend, for our great alliance.’

‘Before I ally with you, you smoglodyte scum,’ the Dodo said haughtily, ‘what can you bring
to this table? Apart from the predictable bad manners and ghastly odours?’

Skun rose proudly, standing on the chair. ‘My tribal leader was killed by Dr Saint,’ he said. ‘Now, as chief tracker, my people listen to me.’

‘I thought you said they were all slaughtered,’ said Theo.

‘I exaggerated,’ Skun replied. ‘Smoglodytes never tell the truth unless absolutely unavoidable. To defeat the evil crelp and the abominable fiend Dr Pyre I will assemble a tribe of survivors. They will be the best warriors and spies. And there are stray groups of smogs that may join us – tunnel travellers and cavern gypsies. I will sound the ancient battle cry – if I can remember it – and unite them against our foes.’

‘And I will speak for the Society of Unrelenting Vigilance,’ Theo said. ‘We will use all our strength to stop Dr Pyre. That includes all the power of the Candle Man, a power that until recently, I – I have been loath to use.’

The Dodo nodded solemnly.

‘About time too,’ said Skun. Then he punched the air in delight. ‘Yes!’ he cheered.

The Dodo ignored this outburst. ‘I shall also promise all my strength,’ he said, ‘to avenge the slaughter in my underground cages. To take back the –’ he choked on a sob – ‘the dear bones that were stolen!’

‘And we have to tell Lord Gold,’ said Theo. ‘He’s in charge of the police . . . a great man. He can help us too.’

The Dodo turned to Theo, that enormous head with the gnarled, beak-like nose looming over the pale teenager.

‘No,’ the Dodo said quietly. ‘I will not ally with the law. It is – in my experience – never to be trusted.’

‘I agree,’ squeaked Skun. ‘Laws are always against the smoglodytes – no matter who makes them, from garghouls to mortals. So, no police, please!’

Theo didn’t know what to say. He needed help, quickly, special help to fight a terrible foe and save
his friends. What use had the police been so far? Even Lord Gold’s new Orpheus force had been helpless against the crelp.

‘Two–one,’ said Skun, smiling at Theo. ‘That means you lose.’

Theo looked through the drifting smoke at the silent, formidable old Dodo, and the spindly, mischievous smoglodyte. In a strange way he felt more at home here, in this outlandish company, than he did in the world above.

People like this can help me – in the dark, against unknown terrors,
Theo thought.
Crazy people like the Dodo and Skun. No one else can.

This is why the world needs a Candle Man, I suppose,
Theo pondered to himself.
To do things that the law can’t do. To go where the police would fail. To make alliances with the strange and wonderful beings that most humans have no idea exist.

‘All right,’ said Theo. ‘If that’s what you want. I’m in.’

The Dodo thrust a clawed hand out into the centre of the table. Skun slapped his grey palm
down on top. Theo was about to do the same, but the Dodo and Skun pulled their own hands away sharply.

‘In your case, Theo,’ the Dodo rumbled, ‘I think we will forgo the symbolic joining of hands.’

Theo gave the faintest of smiles. ‘I think I’ve got my power more under control now,’ he said. ‘I’ve learnt to hold it back – most of the time.’

‘Well, for my part,’ the Dodo said dubiously, ‘I will not be taking any chances.’

‘We need a name,’ cried Skun eagerly. ‘A title for this historic alliance.’

‘I know,’ said Theo. ‘We’ll be called: the Society to Stop Dr Pyre!’

Skun frowned. ‘Doesn’t sound very good,’ he scoffed. The Dodo agreed.

‘Doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue,’ he remarked. ‘Then, nothing ever does trip off mine.’

‘What a force to be reckoned with!’ Skun murmured, a gleam in his little dark eyes. ‘The cunning smoglodytes, the diabolical Dodo with his legions of beasts and, leading the way into
battle, the deadly Candle Hand! Our name must sum up our fearsome power. Let us be called, “the Society of Dread”.’

The Dodo assented. Theo nodded uncertainly. He wondered what Chloe would think of him joining the Society of Dread. But just thinking of her reminded him of why he had to do this.

‘Now let us make our plans,’ the Dodo said, suddenly sniffing the air with renewed energy. ‘And I believe the cakes have arrived.’

‘I
n the Cambrian period, around five hundred million years ago, the Gondwanan Jellystar, according to the fossil record, was almost completely wiped out by a parasite, which we humans call the
Siphonaptera Irritans.’

The Dodo led Theo into the depths of his base, down a dank and narrow corridor. ‘What it called itself, we can but speculate,’ he added.

‘That is very interesting,’ said Theo, to whom the more remote and obscure the information, the more wonderful it seemed. ‘But don’t you think that now we really should be getting on with our plan?’

‘Open your mind!’ the Dodo roared suddenly, turning to give Theo a most alarming look. ‘Do you imagine for one moment that I am not thinking about our plan? Already Skun has departed to find
his scattered tribe, and we have more important work. Come with me.’

The Dodo led Theo into a side chamber, built crudely out of sheets of corrugated iron. The smell here was foul. It reminded Theo of the aroma of Mr Nicely’s old medicine cabinet, only a hundred times worse.

The Dodo pulled a metal chain and a dim light came on. He attached a plastic bottle of stinking liquid to a large, antique-looking cylindrical spray gun, and then to Theo’s astonishment began to pump the handle, drenching Theo in a vile, sticky brown liquid.

After losing patience with the spray gun, the Dodo unscrewed the bottle and tipped it over his own head, smearing it into his lumpy and wrinkled skin.

‘Rub plenty around your eyes,’ he grunted.

Theo copied him.

‘Now we’re safe to go in,’ said the Dodo, striding towards a sealed iron door at the end of the passage. ‘They hate this stuff.’

Drenched and reeking, Theo followed the Dodo into a kind of airlock door that separated his underground zoo from this more remote wing.

The Dodo opened the next door and led Theo into a long dark room, lit by fungus globes. Theo had the strange impression that the whole room was alive with movement.

‘My insect house,’ the Dodo explained. ‘Some of the clever ones get out, which is why we are so delicately perfumed – the smell of my Barrier Nineteen drives them all away.’

Now that Theo was in the insect house he wished he had put more of the goo on. He stared in a mixture of fascination and horror as bugs of every kind flitted in the shadows – antennae pricked up, segmented worms scurried, and immense dragonflies zipped about almost too fast to see.

‘From your description, and with a check through my own research, I believe that the Gondwanan Jellystar is the nearest known creature, anatomically, to the crelp.’

‘Ah.’ Theo was beginning to understand.

The Dodo headed through the first insect house and into a larger chamber beyond. ‘And the closest insect parasite I possess to the natural enemy of the Jellystar is . . .’ The Dodo pulled on a metal ring and lifted a huge glass case, seething with tiny fleas inside.

The Dodo smiled. At least, Theo took the twisted leer on his disfigured face for a smile.

‘The hungry little Saurophthirus!’ he said with relish. ‘See how they hop!’

Theo shook a giant millipede off his leg.

‘We have Lady Blessing to thank for the excellent crop of parasites.’ The Dodo dragged more and more of the seething glass cases from their racks. ‘She has encouraged me to keep up all my old interests, long after the real joy in such pursuits has died.’

‘That’s good,’ said Theo, trying to be polite.

‘Bring the fleas,’ grunted the Dodo, grabbing a case for himself and lumbering off.

* * *

Had the original Candle Man ever been involved in events as extraordinary as this? Theo gazed around him at the massed ranks of bizarre creatures, ready to depart the underground zoo. He recognised the Caspian Tiger, which the Dodo called Rakhim, and the eager pack of Siberian Wolf Rats. Perched in the shadows above were the
teratorn
– vast condors as big as garghouls – grooming and preparing their jet-black feathers for flight.

Far behind them, lost in the darkness, were other creatures, stamping, lowing, hissing and snorting.

‘Some of the best ones are too big to go down the tunnels,’ Lady Blessing said. She had appeared next to Theo attired in a complete protective suit of shimmering silver, topped with a see-through helmet. She looked like a rather fashionable astronaut. ‘The mastodon is very disappointed!’

Theo managed a smile. Then he frowned.

‘I – I still don’t know what you’re doing here,’ he began awkwardly. ‘According to rumours, you
went missing during Dr Saint’s attempt to close up the network. People think the Dodo killed you!’

They stepped aside as an eager horde of Trogontheriums, outsized prehistoric beavers, lumbered by.

‘I started out as a prisoner,’ Lady Blessing explained. ‘But things are different now.’ She paused to feed a dead mouse to a
teratorn.
‘Sir Peregrine has come to appreciate my work – my help here. Now, I’m not really a captive any more. I’m more like a . . .’

‘Wife?’ said Theo helpfully.

Lady Blessing glared at him. ‘Twit!’ she spat out. ‘No thank you! I was going to say: trusted advisor.’

‘Ah.’ Theo felt awkward. Somehow he had put his foot in it. He decided it didn’t matter that much. ‘But why have you stayed? Don’t you want your old life back? Are you happier here, working with the animals?’

Theo gave her a hopeful look, which she ignored.

‘I’m here on a mission,’ she chirped, with a sudden playful air.

‘What mission?’

Lady Blessing walked away, speaking over her shoulder.

‘If you are a very clever boy, and somehow live through all this, then you might find out.’

Now Theo could see the Dodo lurching towards him with two white-coated figures in his wake.

‘I wish I could meet the mastodon,’ said Theo. ‘I’ve seen one in a book: figure two, page one hundred,
Woolcombe’s Bestiary of Post-Diluvian Extinctions
.’

The Dodo grunted. ‘Now is not the time. And remember: size does not always win the day.’

The Dodo gestured towards the men who had followed him. Each was attired in a long white lab coat and goggles and was holding either end of a large metal trunk. Inside, carefully packed in foam, was a big glass globe, containing a hopping, dark mass.

‘My insect bomb,’ the Dodo said with a proud
glint in his eyes. ‘A bit of a long shot, but any advantage will be worth it. We shall save it for the strategic moment. The parasitic Saurophthirus may enjoy making the acquaintance of the revolting crelp.’

The flickering mass in the glass ball seemed to twitch and throb in anticipation.

‘What about us?’ asked Theo nervously. ‘If we use the bomb – will we be safe from them?’

‘Naturally,’ replied the Dodo, with something approaching a horrible smile. ‘It’s all a matter of specialisation. These parasites only feed on one type of gelatinous flesh. Neither we nor the rest of my creatures will be troubled, I assure you.’

Then the Dodo unleashed an ear-splitting howl and his team of keepers headed into the network, each accompanied by a group of birds and beasts: silvery wolves, outsized rats and shadowy
teratorn.

‘According to my bats, the crelp are limited in number, their forces ringing the network to defend against attack from any direction. In short, they are stretched. You, Skun and I will each test
them at the points agreed. You will need all your
tripudon
power, I suspect.’

Theo didn’t trust himself to speak. He was too excited.

‘We will each take our own, separate routes, as we have planned,’ the Dodo continued, looking up as Lady Blessing reappeared, carrying an enormous diving costume of ancient manufacture. ‘And our forces will rendezvous at the appointed place.’

Theo nodded. The Dodo cocked his head and gave Theo a sidelong look.

‘Have you ever ridden a Quagga?’ he asked.

T
heo had fallen off his Quagga long ago and was struggling to keep up with everyone else. The zebra-like beast trotted at Theo’s heels now, snorting nervously. Lady Blessing was up ahead, with several of the Dodo’s keepers, trying to keep control of the army of rats, wolves and Trogontheriums that seemed eager to sniff out crelp without any human encouragement.

Already, Theo felt he was letting the Society of Dread down in their three-pronged advance on the enemy. The Dodo had led the first squad into the subterranean waterways. A horde of Phytosaurs – fierce, long-snouted ancestors of the modern crocodile – had been taken down an underground stream into the heart of the network’s canal system. So far, it had been noted that the crelp avoided water as a means of getting around and
this could be a way of out-manoeuvering them. If the plan worked, the Dodo would come up behind crelp lines.