The Soldier's Lady (8 page)

Needless to say there
was a lot of ass fucking going on in the McNamara home after that night two
weeks ago. She has this look she gives me when she wants her enema play, which
we’ve done twice more since the first time. My shy girl isn’t too shy about
getting her ass fucked anymore. Morning evening, noon and night my poor dick is
in use. Serves his greedy ass right, he’s met his match.

She seems a little
more sure
of herself now when we’re out in public though she
hasn’t gotten to where I want her entirely. Lately she’s been acting kinda
strange but I’m waiting for her to tell me what the fuck is on her mind. The
way she’s been flitting around me for the last ten minutes I figure tonight’s
the night. I kept my head in the book I’m reading pretending not to notice her
strange behavior. She has to know that she can come to me with anything no
matter what.

“Caleb?”

“Yeah
babe?”

“Um,
I need to ask you something.” I looked over to find her biting her lip and
wringing her hands. Oh boy, I haven’t seen the hand wringing in a while. “Shoot
beauty.” I put the book down and gave her my full attention.

“Well
Nat and Fran wanted me to do this BBW calendar.”

“A what?”

“It’s a calendar for big beautiful women.” I
studied her for a minute before saying a word.

“Is
there a TBW calendar?” She looked at me with her usual lost at sea look when I
spring something on her.

“What’s
that?”

“I’m guessing it would be thin beautiful women.”
She laughed shyly and came to sit beside me. “I don’t think so babe. That’s a
given.”

“That’s part of your
problem, why can’t it just be beautiful women? If skinny women don’t have to
stipulate their size why the fuck should you? Beauty is beauty it doesn’t have
a size. What are you supposed to be wearing on this calendar?”

“Well that’s kinda what I needed to clear with
you first. It will be um, lingerie.”

“You’ve
lost your fucking mind, you’re not wearing lingerie on some fucking calendar
are you nuts?”

“But
Caleb, you’re the one who’s always telling me how beautiful I am I thought
you’d be proud of me.”

“I don’t want half the men in the fucking state
jacking off to pictures of my woman, no fucking way.” She rolled her eyes at
me. “I’m pretty sure that’s not gonna happen.”

“Damn straight it’s not because you’re not doing
it; and no pouting or it’s your ass. You knew before you asked what the answer
was gonna be.”

“Fine I’ll just keep my fat self hidden.” She
pulled a pillow in front of her and huffed. I guess the look I gave her sent up
warning bells because her eyes widened and she swallowed hard. The arched brow
was just the icing on the cake and she was off and running.

CALEB

I heard the door slam
upstairs but I wasn’t worried, she couldn’t lock it without the key. I found
her on the bed with her back to the headboard, knees bent and her eyes peeping
out over the covers she’d pulled up to her nose. I started getting undressed as
I approached her not saying a word. The closer I got the farther up the bedhead
she went trying to get away.

“What did you call yourself?”

“Nothing.”
She looked around the room as though she was trying to find an escape; there
was none.

I pulled her out by her ankles as she kicked and
screamed. See she’s always mouthing off but never wants to bear the
consequences. I pulled her clothes off roughly, fighting her flailing arms and
legs as she breathed harder and harder. She knew better than to beg or even
open her damn mouth less she makes things worse for herself.

When she was bare ass
naked I dragged her over my knees. “How many times must I tell you about
mouthing off at me huh?” I brought the flat of my hand down hard across her ass
repeatedly until it was red and she was crying. She reached back to test the
tenderness of her ass but I wasn’t done with her yet. Throwing her on the bed
with her ass in the air I plunged into her making sure to slam into her heated
ass.

“Ah Caleb, ouch.”

“Shh, this is what happens when you piss me off just
a little. The next time you do something stupid it’ll be my whip on your ass.”
I had no mercy as I fucked into her over and over. She kept saying she was
sorry but that was just too little too late.

“You gonna be a good
girl huh?” I held still buried balls deep because I could tell she was no
longer feeling pain. She was into it now. “Uh huh.” She tried pushing back on
my cock to get me to move up my pace. She has me wrapped around her damn finger
and that’s why she thinks she can get away with shit. Every once in a while I
have to rein her ass in and remind her just who she’s dealing with. I fucked
her hard easing off each time she got close.

“Please captain I wanna
cum.” I bet you do beauty. I kept at her for a good hour, bringing her to the
brink and leaving her frustrated until she was in tears. When I’d had enough of
her pussy’s heat I pulled out and slid into her ass until I was buried to the
hilt. Four strokes and I began painting her insides with cum. She still hadn’t
cum yet. I pulled out and walked away and into the shower.

When I was through in
the shower I headed back downstairs to the couch not even sparing her a glance
as she laid on the bed watching me. I heard the water turn on upstairs, this
must be the first time we hadn’t showered together. That was one of our
favorite things to do. She came down a bit later all soft and shy and crawled
into my lap.

“I’m sorry.” She wrapped
herself around me and buried her face in my neck. I kissed her head but didn’t
answer her. I was still pissed at her for what she’d said about herself. The
more I think I’ve made progress seems the more work I needed to do.

“Babe look at me, I love you.” Her eyes widened,
I’d never said the words to her before. I’ve been showing her every way I knew
how. Biding my time until she was ready but will she ever be ready?

 
“I…” She
started to return the words but I cut her off.

“No I don’t want those words from you.” I saw
the hurt but wouldn’t let it sway me. It was time she heard some hard truths,
time she woke the fuck up. Being soft and easy wasn’t working the way I’d
hoped.

“What
why? She started to cry.”

“Because you cant love me if you don’t love
yourself.”

“You’re hurting my feelings.”

“Yeah well you hurt mine every time you tell me
that the woman I’m in love with is worthless, that she’s unworthy of my love.”

“You know I don’t like
when you say stuff like that about yourself baby. I’ve told you about that
shit. If you do it why wouldn’t others feel free to do the same? I love you
Melissa, love you with everything that’s in me but I’m not playing that fucked
up game with you.”

“When I first saw you I
didn’t think ‘you know if she lost some weight I’d fuck her. No, I took one
look at you and wanted to fuck, two conversations later I wanted to own you.
Nothing I do or say seems to work for you. I’m trying to give you time; you’ve
been off the pill almost a month now, I can’t wait to breed you, but I won’t.”
That was the harshest thing I’d ever said to her. I’ve told her how much I
wanted to have children with her but there was obviously still a lot that
needed doing first.

“Caleb…”

“No baby. Last week I caught you with those diet
pills bullshit that that twit Nat gave you. You were going to starve yourself
for a week drinking water and pepper or some shit. The week before that it was
the exercise routine fit for a body builder. All this shit tells me you’re not
ready. What’s
gonna
happen if I get you with child and
you start gaining weight? Are you gonna starve yourself to stay thin and harm
my seed?”

“Let me ask you something babe? How you much
weight do you want to lose?”

“I
don’t know sixty pounds maybe?”

“And
that will bring you down to what about one twenty? Tell me have you ever been
that size before?”

“Well
no, I’ve tried but it never works.”

“And
why do you want to be that size?”

“Because I want to be happy.”

“I see and you’re not happy now, not even with
me.” I started to push her the fuck off my lap because as much as I knew she’d
been fucked with her whole life that shit hurt. She clung to me and won’t let
go so I held her.

“No
Caleb I don’t mean it that way, I just…it just seems like my life would be
easier if I were thinner.”

“Your
friend Fran she’s about that size right? Is she happy?” I know for a fact the pill
popping bitch isn’t but I’m trying to get my naive baby to wake the fuck up.

“Well
not all the time um…”

“So if you lose all this weight you think all
your worries will miraculously melt away and you’ll live happily ever after
without a care in the world.” See how stupid that sounds baby?

“When did you start
disliking yourself baby?” Her face twisted with pain and she buried it in my
neck. My heart hurt like fuck but I’d come too far to stop now. We had to get
this shit put away once and for all because I wanted to move on with our lives.

There was so much I
wanted to do with her and for her but I couldn’t do it now unless I knew she
would really enjoy it. How could I show her Europe or the Orient on the back of
my ride if she had this dark cloud hanging over her staining everything?

Everywhere we went I
could see her measuring herself up to other women and no matter how much I told
her I loved her body it didn’t seem to matter. I realize now that she has to
see herself. Accept
herself
and forget all the other
voices in her head from fuck stupid people who were telling her she needed to
change. It fucks with me that I’m not enough that having me isn’t enough. But
maybe I’m looking at this shit the wrong way. The fuck I know? All I know is
that I love her just the way she is but that’s no use if she doesn’t or can’t
appreciate it.

I held her while she
cried her heart out, running my hands through her hair. “You’re beautiful baby,
you’re so fucking beautiful it hurts to leave you in the morning sometimes. At
night when you go to sleep I look at your face wishing I could remember every
aspect of it when you’re not with me. I feel joy when I see you here after a
long fucked up day. Why can’t you feel the same? Why can’t you look in the
mirror and just love what you see? Help me to understand babe talk to me.” She
dried her face in my shirt and settled herself.

“I don’t hate myself,
not really…it’s just that everyone seems to think that I would be better off if
I lose the weight. And it does look like skinny girls have more luck. People
don’t stare at them like there’s something wrong with them, like they have a
disease. They can eat whatever they want and not get fat. Their lives just seem
so much more happier than mine.”

I listened to what she
had to say and realized that my baby had some serious issues. Nothing that me
just telling her she was beautiful was going to fix. She either needed
professional help or she needed to take a long hard look at herself. Every word
that came out of her mouth was about what others thought though, so that gave
me hope. Maybe if I could get her to say fuck what anyone thought and
concentrate on herself and what it was she really wanted we could work it. I
was about to take a gamble but I had to. For our future together I had to take
the risk even if it killed me.

“I’ll lay it out for you
babe. I don’t want you to lose weight I love every inch of you. But if this is
something you think you need to do I can’t stop you. Just keep that in mind
when you’re making your decision. It wouldn’t be fair of me to stand in the way
of something you wanted, something you think you need to make you happy. I’m
sorry I wasn’t enough to make you happy. Come on I’ll take you home.”

“What? Caleb no, don’t
break up with me.” She held on tight, her whole body shaking and the tears came
faster. I closed my eyes against the pain in her voice. Oh please help me to do
this right. “I’m not leaving you, I just think you need some time alone to
think about what it is that you want. I can’t make that decision for you and I
won’t influence you because we’ll just be back here again and again and I’m not
one for repeating myself so…”

CALEB

After I took her home
that night I stayed away for three weeks. I didn’t talk to her on the phone,
Skype, nothing. It was the longest two weeks of my fucking life. I worried
about her constantly when I wasn’t pissed at her for being stupid. But the
nights were the most horrible fucking times; it wasn’t even the fuck hot sex
either. It was her just my girl. Felt like I’d severed a fucking limb. But I
made myself stay away and hoped that she remembered everything I’d ever said or
done to her. I hoped that my voice would drown out the negative ones she’s been
carrying around her whole life.

When she called me at
the end of the second week I was ready to climb the fucking walls but still I
played it off. “How are you Melissa?” She’d caught me just as I was about to go
change on base and head home to my empty house. Hearing her voice was like
seeing the sun after weeks of darkness. I wanted to go get her right then and
there, tell her to forget all the bullshit and just come to me. But she had to
make that call. It was up to her if she was ready. Please be ready baby, fuck.

“Can I come home now? I
want to come home.” I closed my eyes as my heart raced in my chest. I missed
her voice she sounded so sweet, my sweet baby girl. “Where are you baby? No
don’t cry shh, shh. Where are you?” She was at home so I told her to stay put
and I’d come and get her. I did something I hadn’t done in years as I ran to my
truck in a hurry. I drove off the base in full uniform. For some reason I never
do that shit, I walk in with my uniform over my shoulder and walk out the same.