The Soul Seekers (17 page)

What’s wrong with this girl? It’s ridiculous to have come to this town, to want to work here. She should leave, now.

Thinking she might actually go makes my stomach knot with apprehension, but it’s what I wish for her, and if I could speak, I’d tell her as much. Go, and don’t come back. Go while you’re young, while you’re alive.

A while later and she’s at the shelves again, looking around. I bend into my book, feeling angry. When she looks down, I look up. She’s beautiful, and it’s not fair.

If I were solid again, if this curse hadn’t been brought upon me, if you could only see me I’d take your hand right now and tell you how beautiful you are because I bet no one’s ever said it, not the way I would, not the way you should hear. But that’s impossible for me to do. I’m stuck behind a wall and am slowly fading into night, every day.

The library turns to black and a new scene slowly bleeds in to take its place. It’s dark, and adrenaline is eating away at my stomach like a shot of Louisville moonshine. I open my hand to reveal a shining coin of roughly formed copper. The letters SS jump out from the pendant and on the other side a horrible face stares back in demonic pattern. It’s cold and electric. I hate it. Someone is chasing me, and I have to get rid of it. I throw it over a cliff, out into a star-threaded sky and I freeze.

Emma, Emma. Come back, Emma.

“Everything is looking just fine, Miss Shay. The swelling inside your skull has gone down quite a bit, and as you have no internal injuries I think you will recover just fine and be out of here faster than we believe.”

“Wonderful,” I replied with blinking eyes.

I looked past Dr. Hess to William’s face. His eyes held something fleeting, but then he smiled in relief. I smiled back. “Can I eat now?” Everyone in the room laughed at that.

“We can sure make that happen. Let’s get you back to your room first, okay?”

I nodded, not really wanting to eat as much as I wanted to be alone with William. Those visions I experienced felt real, but what did they mean? When they wheeled me back into my room, I couldn’t help the disappointment I felt at the sight of my family, who were now there filling up the space all fresh-faced and worried. The one I had come to know as Mom came over to touch my forehead. She fussed over the blankets, straightening them and trying to fluff my pillows.

“Sleep well, dear? Remember anything yet?”

“Not yet.” Except now I had memories of being a guy who was obviously in love with some girl he wouldn’t let himself have. I was more confused than before and would have to wait until the end of visiting time to ask about it.

“That’s too bad. I trust,” she went on, raising my arm slightly to adjust my hospital gown, “you will get everything back good as new. Don’t rush anything. They say your scars are minimal and will heal quickly. We’re all thankful you didn’t die.”

“Me too.” Everyone laughed in uncomfortable waves. “Umm, I know. Can you go get me something? I am
dying
for a Dr Pepper. Think you can hunt one down for me, perhaps?”

She looked unsure. “A Dr Pepper.”

“Please? I’m still waiting for lunch and they said I could eat real food now. A soda wouldn’t be against the rules, right?”

She was hesitant, her eyes holding something I couldn’t quite understand. “That’s your favorite drink, Emma.”

“It is?”

She nodded. “You must be remembering, isn’t that wonderful?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. “Come on, Gran, let’s go wrangle one up for her.”

When they left, the room was silent with William and I locked in a trance. Before I could ask about the visions, a candy striper came in holding my lunch.

“Here you go.” She adjusted my tray. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

What I needed was to understand the thoughts ricocheting through my brain, because none of them made any sense.

“Thank you,” I answered, waiting for her to leave. She finally did and I reached to push the tray away, locking eyes with William as before. “I need to know what all of that meant. I need to know what that meant, those things he saw. What does it have to do with me?”

He stayed where he was, voice low. “It has everything to do with you. You were shown a coin. You recently found the same coin and hid it somewhere. You’ll have to find it for me.”

“But why?”

Silence. “Because I need it. I told you not to question me; this is one of those times. Find the coin and that’s all.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. “What about that girl, why was I seeing her?”

“The girl was you.”

“Oh. And the guy?” Silence from his side again, much longer than the first. He was not going to tell me about that one, I could tell. “Come on, you have to tell me who he was.” I watched his face and derived my own answer. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Finally he spoke, with concentrated words. “No. It wasn’t me.” Funny how he avoided my eyes while saying that.

“Then who?”

A light knock sounded on the door. A young man in a black leather jacket stepped in. Brown hair fell over a gauze square that covered his left temple.

I watched as he crossed the room in a slow stride, both hands buried in his front jeans pockets. “Wow, Emma. You look bad.”

My angel let out a low groan.

“Thanks.”

“But you’re alive. That’s good.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

William remained by the side of the bed, his arms crossed tight around his chest, stance wide. The stranger approached, unaware of the body-wall meant to protect me. He stepped right through.

“Emma,” William stated, turning to face me. “This is the young man you collided with, or perhaps he hit you—I’m still not sure.”

I didn’t want him to go and made a silent shake of my head to protest. A gentle hand reached out to touch my cheek. “It’s all right. Better if I go.”

I let out an impatient sigh and watched as he faded through the wall. As if by cue, my visitor stepped forward. He gave an unsteady laugh while looking me over. “Great timing, Emma. I have just one thing to ask you. Why the
hell
did you have to wreck my car?”

I drew back a little, holding in the slight shiver that came when he sat down next to the bed, too close.

“You ruined everything. Just please,
please
tell me what you were thinking. Okay—no, don’t tell me.”

He used a fake soprano to imitate what I guessed was supposed to be me. “
I’m sorry but I was dreaming about how much I love him and the steering wheel just slipped—
because he’s the perfect guy and you would give up everything to be with him. Right? Well, guess what, Emma, you sacrificed a lot more than your own life, you know? I couldn’t leave now if I wanted to. My car is a complete waste!”

I waited for him to finish his mini-rant before holding out my palm in greeting. “Hi, my name is Emma and yours is?”

He eyed my hand with controlled anger. “What, you’re gonna play some sort of game?”

“No. I just think it’d be nice to know your name, since you’re yelling at me and all.”

He cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean? You don’t know my name?”

“Amnesia. I lost my memory in the crash. They say it should get better in time.”

He slid a hand up his neck. “Are you serious?”

“Very.”

“Shit! No way!” He started to laugh. “That’s terrible news, Emma.” He held out his hand. “Well, my name is Jesse. Jesse Limon, but then you should know that, since we’re going to be living together and all.”

“Live together?” I whispered, staring into his eyes with sudden timidity.

“Oh yeah. It was kind of a secret, your family doesn’t know about it yet. No one does. Well, except us.”

He, seeing that I was never going to shake that hand, placed it under his arm and leaned into the chair. “Yeah we’ve been planning it for a while, been trying to save up and all that. It’s why I’m so pissed right now. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.”

“You look shocked, Emma. It’s going to be all right, you can trust me. I know it may seem strange right now but you really love me.” He laughed. “You love me a lot. Like, obsessive sometimes.”

I bit my lip. Where was William? I needed to ask him, needed him to help it all make sense.

“Don’t get worried, now. They said your memory will come back—we won’t force anything. In the meantime, we can plan our trip.”

“Trip?”

“Yeah. We’re gonna have to raise money for travel somehow.”

His eyes glazed over, then the trance broke and he looked at me again. “There are a lot of things I’ll have to teach you, and it’s kind of important that we leave within the next few weeks, you know, because we have this apartment lined up. Things like that don’t wait in New York.”

I reached for my water and took a sip, mind bouncing against a blocked tide of information. This Jesse boy was cute but something didn’t feel right. Add to that the fact that a slight nausea had begun to build in my stomach since his arrival.

A knock sounded on the door.

“Yes?” I asked, a little too fast. It was the two women. A wave of relief washed over me. The mom shuffled in, followed by the grandmother, who sat by the windows and set up an antagonistic stare at Jesse’s back.

“We found your soda,” she announced plaintively, coming over to place a frosty-cold bottle on my food tray. “And you need to eat, for heaven’s sake. Tell your company you haven’t had anything in two days.”

I held back a smile and pulled the tray to my center. It was cold steamed chicken and green Jell-O. “Want any?” I asked, to which Jesse looked away in annoyance.

He watched me cut into the food for a few minutes, tapping his fingers against his forearms. “Anyone been in here beside me? Like, any other guys?”

I had to think about that. It wasn’t as if I could admit to having an angel. I shook my head. “Why?”

“No reason.” He turned at the sound of a throat being cleared loudly and got up to grab his jacket. “Well, I got some things I need to take care of. I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

My eyes popped open. “Mwa?” My mouth was full of food. I grabbed the Dr Pepper to wash everything down.

“I said I love you.” He bent over the bed and laid a soft kiss on my lips.

I looked at the mom again, but she had her eyes glued to the cold linoleum laid out in pale green patterns.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” he stopped by the door, and reached in to extract a folded paper from his back pocket. “You should watch out for this guy.”

He walked back over and handed me what looked like a photocopy of an old newspaper article. A familiar face looked out at me by way of a high school photo of the most exquisite human ever created, and one of the most beautiful angels. “Murder!” the headline shouted. I scanned the article fast, only allowing my mind to grab a few important details, the year: 1956, and his name: William Joe Bennett.

“Yeah, he’d be old now and everything. I don’t know if he’s paid you any visits yet, but you should be really careful. I’m trying to protect you. See ya later, Emma. Mrs. Shay?”

He quietly acknowledged the mom for the first time, to which she gave him a cold dismissal. After he left, I stared at the article, hands shaking at the accusing words laid out in front of me. It wasn’t fear that made me shake—it was disbelief, anger, injustice.

“What is it, Emma?”

“Oh nothing. Nothing.”

I shoved it under my thigh and resumed picking at the cold food in front of me. My hunger had abandoned me. Even the small salad looked inedible with its dark, wilted lettuce and vinegar dressing.

“What time is it?” I asked.
Where was he?

“It’s,” Mom pulled her watch out from underneath a long sleeve, “almost one. Are you tired?”

I shook my head. “No, I just, I guess I’m restless.”

I laid my head back to stare at the ceiling for a while, counting all the 4x4 asbestos tiles that were laid out like a white checkerboard. After a while my right ear began to pick up the sound of boot heels clicking down the hall. They came closer, stopped, and quietly made their way into the room. I heard something else as well: a soft rhythm of thought, indiscernible, yet undeniable in its source.

William came to stand beside me, and I felt the coldness of his body wash over my skin. Our eyes met. No words. He looked at my tray of uneaten food and concern caused a little ridge to form between his brows.

“You should eat.”

I shook my head, unable to speak with the others sitting there listening.

“Don’t be foolish. It will help your brain work better so you can remember again. Okay? Eat.”

He took my hands and placed them on the tray, making it look like I was dragging it by myself.

I pulled away and put a hand up to shield my face, pretending to scratch at my temple, and mouthed, “Not hungry.”

“You were begging for food earlier. What happened?”

“It’s gross.” I pushed it away again, avoiding everyone’s stare.

He, perceptively, watched the placement of my hand as it dropped to the hidden article under my leg. “Oh. I should have guessed,” he said.

I narrowed my eyes in question.

“I know what you have under your leg and who gave it to you. It’s all right; we can talk about that later. Why don’t you lay back and take a nap?”

I wrapped my arms around my middle to show how cold I was.

“You want me to get in with you?”

“Yes.” My whisper set everyone to staring at me.

“Raise the covers just for a moment, so they won’t notice when I slip in.”

I did as told, sighing when his cold body flashed in next to mine. The sheet dropped down, and I flipped over to entwine my arms into his.

“Emma, are you okay?” the mom asked.

“Yeah. Great.”

“A nap is a good idea. Don’t mind us being here.”

“I won’t.” A large sizzle zapped through our skin, and I had to hold in a giggle. “What was that?” I mouthed. “I know it’s not the drugs.”

He shrugged, trying not to laugh as well. “Maybe there’s a defibrillator in your mattress.”