Chapter Fifteen
Jamie Grey
Canis Minor – The Small dog
Maera, dog of the unlucky wine-maker Icarius, who was killed by his friends after they had mistaken drunkenness for a murder attempt, thinking Icarius had tried to poison them.
~*~
Coming to the party with Sam made sense. I needed to get out of that house. As big as it is, I was starting to feel claustrophobic. When Trina arrived and pulled me out onto the porch I thought she would be the perfect distraction to keep my mind off of things but she came on a little too strong for my liking. I kissed her a little but she wanted to go back into the house and find somewhere more private. That was my cue to separate myself from her. Of course I’m attracted to her, who wouldn’t be with her long brown hair and exotic brown eyes but I just wasn’t feeling it so I decided to take a walk down the beach. I needed to clear my head.
The sand and water have always been a place of solace for me. I started to think about Steve, Sam’s dad. When I lived with him and his family life was good. Of course I wasn’t even thirteen yet but I actually felt like I belonged somewhere. Holding onto those memories has kept me going. At first I hoped I could find it again with another family but those thoughts flitted away with the years that passed. I finally set my sights on eighteen and that’s been my goal for a couple of years now. Seeing Sam has brought to the surface all of those memories that I had pushed away. It’s good to see her happy but something about Jake sits wrong with me. I’ll have to watch him and make sure Sam is okay. The years have distanced us but we’ll always be friends. She knows me better than anyone.
As I stroll further from the light of the party I spot Beckett with that football player from school. They are on the far side of the beach. I turn around and start to walk the other way but her cry rings out. I know from all the times when Joe beat Miranda that it isn’t a good kind of cry so I spin around and quicken my pace. When I come upon them he is pushing her to the ground forcing her against her will into the sand. This infuriates me causing rage to course through my blood. My body acts before my mind can think. I knock him off of her and beat on him until she yells at me to stop.
I step away from him and look away in disgust. He got what he deserved and if she hadn’t stopped me I might have injured him permanently. He stands and threatens her. It takes all of my willpower not to get up and whale on him again. After he leaves, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know if I should take her back to the house and call the police or leave her here to deal with it all on her own. She hasn’t been the nicest person to me since I’ve been here. Instead of either choice, I lay in the sand beside her and tell her about The Chameleon, a constellation that changes because of its size. I think she is a lot like that constellation. I know she is really one thing but she pretends or acts like another. I think she understood my reasoning for telling her about it. When I finished the explanation, the side of her mouth quivered and a tear fell out of the corner of her eye. I wanted to comfort her but she is impossible to read. I lay beside her for a while, the silence filling the space. It is peaceful as if words don’t need to be spoken.
Finally I decide that I’ve had enough of the high school drama and stand up. I ask, “Do you want me to walk you back to the house?”
She sits up and nods, still hugging her arms around her middle. Her stance the whole way back is guarded. Once we make it back to the stairs leading up to the deck, she starts crying and frantically searching the sand around the steps. I place my hand on her arm and ask, “Beckett, what is it?”
She flinches back and hugs herself tighter. Her face turns up to me and she trembles, “My shoes, they’re gone.”
The innocent expression on her face makes my heart melt. I want nothing more in that moment than to take her in my arms and tell her it will be alright. Instead, I start to explore the sand with her. We come up empty handed after five minutes. By this point she is wiping her tears and straightening her wrinkled top. Her voice sounds stronger as she tells me, “It’s fine Jamie. I’ll just go home without them.”
I take a step toward the stairs and nod as she rushes past me to make the climb. I glance ahead of her and watch as we approach the landing. Many faces turn toward us with looks of surprise and then glowering expressions. When my foot hits the wooden deck Trina scrambles over with a death stare. She rests her hands on her hips and spits in Beckett’s face. Beckett has a look of shock as she wipes the wetness from her face.
Trina begins yelling, her accent so heavy that it almost masks the English coming from her lips.
“Beckett Chase, I can’t believe you! You are a liar and a slut. I never want to see your face again.”
She turns on her heel and stumbles across the floor to the opened door. Dani is just coming out onto the deck. She looks at Trina and then over to us. Her face mirrors Trina’s as she calls out, “Beckett, I warned you.”
A small cry escapes Beckett’s lips as both girls spin and march back into the house. I place my hand on her arm again. This time she doesn’t shy away. I lean closer and ask, “Why didn’t you tell them what happened?”
She shakes her head and faces me as another tear falls down her cheek. She whispers hotly, “They won’t believe me. You should just go before they all hate you too.”
As she turns back around, my hand falls from her arm and I look up to find dozens of pairs of eyes staring at us. The expressions aren’t of surprise but scorn. My eyes meet Sam’s as she steps out onto the stoop. Disappointment screams at me from her eyes.
I stand firmly in place as Beckett charges past her into the house. I hear Sam cluck her tongue at her retreating back. Anger swells at Sam for that small gesture but then I remind myself that Sam has her reasons for hating Beckett.
She approaches me and states in a strangled voice, “Jamie, I know you did not just come up from the beach with her.” She shifts apprehensively and asks, “Did you?”
I shift my gaze from the door where Beckett’s retreating figure is no longer visible to the tortured look spreading across Sam’s features. My gaze softens as I tell her, “It’s not what it looks like.”
“Well Jamie, it
looks
like she’s gotten to you too. Beckett Chase strikes again.”
I can’t help but notice the hurt in Sam’s voice.
“I just said it’s not what it looks like. I went down there to clear my head and found her down the beach.”
Sam cuts me off, “Yeah, we already know what she was doing or rather
who
.”
I squint not really believing what she is saying to me. This is not like Sam at all. Never has she been so hurtful and accusatory. I start to walk away finished with the conversation but her hand darts out to halt me. I pull my arm from her grasp and continue into the house. Jake steps into my path and asks, “Dude, what’s wrong with Sam?”
“Why don’t you go and ask her?” I skirt around him as he presses forward to close the distance to Sam. When I pass into the living room there are drunken people everywhere but only one catches my attention. The guy who attacked Beckett steps up to me, blocking my advance to the front door. His eye is swollen and there are specks of blood spotting his green shirt. I didn’t notice before but he’s got a couple of inches on me and his stance is wider than mine. I was probably lucky he was already occupied when I attacked him. I clench my fists ready to throw down again if I have to. He notices and holds his hands up in surrender.
“Hey, Jamie is it?”
I nod, my stare unwavering.
“Dude, I just wanted to make sure that there’s no hard feelings.”
Is this asshole for real?
I step back unsure where he’s going with this.
He leans closer and lowers his voice, “I’m not trying to fight you. She’s not worth it.”
My hands twitch as I hold back my urge to knock this idiot out. Instead of giving him an answer I charge forward knocking his shoulder. I didn’t notice before but as I cross the distance to the door my ears perk up at the sudden chatter filling the room. This whole thing was a show for all of them. Where in the hell am I? How is any of this normal even in a wealthy person’s life?
When I bridge the gap to the street my lungs scream at me for the fresh air I didn’t know I was craving. I lean over and place my hands on my knees. Sam’s face pops into my head. She is just as bad as the rest of them. What happened to her? My heart aches at the loss of the Sam I knew long ago.
When I’ve caught my breath I look up to gauge my location in relation to where I need to go. I didn’t really pay attention on the way here. Shit. My feet start forward down the street. A minute later a car pulls up beside me. I don’t bother looking, it’s better if whoever it is just keeps driving. But a voice calls out, “Hey, do you want a ride home?”
I stop and look forward before glancing over at Beckett’s red rimmed eyes and tear stained face. I make my way around the car and climb into the passenger side.
She shifts into drive and pushes the gas. The dash light shines twelve thirty and I smirk at the thought that we are both making curfew. She turns to look at me but I keep my eyes forward. As much as I want to tell her it’s okay and I get it, I don’t because in all of this, I really don’t get it. We are from completely different worlds and I am so far from understanding hers as I’m sure she feels the same about mine.
When she pulls up behind Marla’s Range Rover she keeps her hands on the steering wheel. She sighs before speaking.
“Thank you for tonight.”
My body stiffens at the sound of her voice. It’s filled with pain but something else. A question seems to linger in the air. I shake my head trying not to hear more than her words.
My voice comes out firm, “It was nothing.”
I grab the handle to open the door but her fingers dart out and linger over my arm. I look up and meet her intense stare. The question lingers there too in the pristine blue of her eyes. I pat her hand with mine before removing her fingers and step out of the car. I don’t look back to see if she is getting out for fear that I’ll lose my nerve to continue up to my room. This is something I
am
able to control in my life. Staying far away from Beckett is a decision I resolve to keep.
Chapter Sixteen
Beckett Chase
Pyxis – The Compass
The constellation represents the magnetic compass used by navigators and seamen.
~*~
The tears flow freely down my cheeks as I rest my head on the steering wheel. Jamie left the car filling the void with deathly silence. It might have just been me being sentimental about him saving me from Brett. But he could have walked the other way. He didn’t have to get involved. When he told me about the constellation, I thought maybe he had feelings for me. Now I think I’m just going crazy. I saw more in his face though, disappointment, fear, resentment. I’m not sure. He is probably disgusted after what Samantha told him but maybe not. He didn’t get a ride home with her which means she’s probably pissed at him. I’m sure I’m the cause of it. That must be it, he’s angry that yet again I’ve hurt his friend.
I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand and switch the light on to chase away the shadows. My eyes move to the mirror and frown at the vacant stare looking back. I try to make myself presentable in case I run into Marla but it’s hard to hide the horrible events that happened tonight.
My bare feet hit the rough stone steps as I reluctantly approach the glass door. Somehow in less than a week I feel awkward walking into my own house knowing that Jamie is here. My heart aches at his rejection but I chastise myself for even thinking he would give me a chance. I deserve all of it. He owes me nothing. In fact, he’s been a lot nicer than he should have been with the way I’ve treated him.
My feet move swiftly up the stairs to my room. Ever so slowly I close the heavy white door until a click echoes through the space. I turn to my bed and climb in letting the tears flow again. I cry that he wants nothing to do with me and for my two best friends who I have completely let down. I know that this time they won’t forgive me. I’ve pushed them to their limits.
***
A soft knock on my door shakes me out of sleep. My hands automatically raise to shield the sun that is shining brightly into the room. I wince at the headache spreading behind my eyes. I barely drank anything last night but I did a lot of crying. I can only imagine what I look like right now.
The knocking against my door begins again. I roll over into the fluffy pillow while mumbling, “Come in.”
The sun’s rays shift across the room as the white paned French door swings inward. I look up surprised that someone is coming from the balcony and startled that it’s Jamie’s green stare meeting my gaze. He shuffles in carefully. I can feel waves of heat following him through the door. He halts a few feet from the bed, his hands deep in his pockets. He stumbles over his words, “Beckett, I’m sorry I was a jerk to you last night.”