The Space Between Us (32 page)

“Don’t worry about it.”

She drew in a shuddery breath. “I feel so stupid. But I just didn’t want to cry in front of her or anything, and I feel like I cry all the time now at stupid things.”

“Um…hello,” I said. “Pregnant? Totally allowed. Besides, she was a bitch to even say anything. And honestly, whatever she told you? I’m sure was exaggerated.”

“Oh…I know that. She made it out like she and Joe were practically engaged.” Sadie’s laugh sounded almost normal. “And I know that’s not true. But still…when you weigh more than your husband and look like you swallowed a whale, and some young, pretty—”

I scoffed. “Girl, she looks like someone came up and hit her in the face with the ugly shovel.”

This time her laugh sounded totally normal. “Oh. That’s not nice.”

“But it’s true. Anyone who takes up shit with a pregnant lady is ugly.” I nodded and steered her around a patch of ice. “Where are we going, by the way?”

“Just another block. You really don’t have to walk me the whole way.”

“Sure I do. What kind of friend would I be if I just let you slip and slide your way home?” I shook my head.

It might’ve taken her a long time to get to the Mocha, but it didn’t take us nearly as long to get back. She tried to get me to come inside, but I declined; Joy would already have my ass if she found out I’d left Brandy there alone. I dropped Sadie at her door and made sure she got inside.

“I don’t expect to see you again until you have a baby with you,” I told her. “And then you come in with that beautiful kid and your volcanically hot husband, and you don’t let one thing that slitch says upset you. Okay?”

“Thanks.” Sadie paused in the doorway. “I knew before I married him he’d had a past.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Even with my mittens on, my hands were cold. I rubbed them together, then shoved them in my pockets.

“I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, it just is. I know I shouldn’t have let her get to me. Thanks for walking me home, Tesla, I appreciate it.” She hesitated again. “You know, if you ever need to talk to someone…”

I frowned. “About?”

“Anything. I’ve been slimming down my practice, but that doesn’t mean I’m not available to listen.”

“Do I…look like I need to talk to someone?”

Sadie smiled. “Everyone needs to talk to someone sometimes, Tesla. I’m just letting you know I’m here. If you need to.”

“Okay. Thanks.” I frowned again, uncertain about what had made me seem so much in need of a shoulder to cry on. “You okay now? You good?”

“Fine. Thanks again.”

I waited until she’d closed the door before I hopped off her front porch and headed back down the sidewalk. I looked up at the early afternoon sky, turning gray with clouds that promised snow. My cheeks and nose stung from the cold, as did my legs. Today would’ve been a good one to wear jeans. Fortunately, I was able to reach Darek on his cell, so by the time I made it back to the shop I’d arranged for him to come in and cover me.

The place was empty, something almost unheard of. Brandy looked up with a frown when I came in. She came around the counter to meet me before I was even halfway across the floor.

“You were right. That was a super shitty thing to do,” she said abruptly.

Her apology was unexpected and inelegant, and shouldn’t have been made to me, anyway. “Yeah. It was. Sadie’s a regular, Brandy. And pregnant.”

“I know. I know!” She shook her head. For once she wasn’t smacking away on a piece of gum like it was her cud. “I was stupid. I just felt like… I dunno. You know how shitty it is when you know you didn’t leave an impression on someone who left a really big one on you?”

I eyed her. “Yeah.”

She shrugged. “He didn’t even remember me. He came into that other shop a few times a week for months, and I waited on him every time. We went out, we had dinner, it was awesome. And the sex was…”

She sighed, looking dreamy, then focused on me. “Joe made me feel beautiful, Tesla. He really made me feel like I was beautiful. But then… I dunno, I was a little too aggressive or something, whatever. And then he didn’t even recognize me. I know I lost a lot of weight and stuff, but still.”

I knew how much it meant to have someone make you feel beautiful. I could give her credit for admitting she’d been a douchetard, but not a whole lot. “What you did was really dumb and just nasty.”

“I know. And when she comes in again, I’ll tell her I’m sorry.” Brandy looked contrite. “I mean it. Don’t hate me, Tesla, please.”

I made a face, grateful we didn’t have an audience for the schmoopfest. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t like me.”

“I hardly know you, that’s all.” I didn’t want to be mean, even though she was right.

Brandy shrugged. “Whatever. But I work here now, and it would be cool if we could get along.”

“Have I made you feel like we don’t get along?”

“No, but you don’t really like me. I can tell.”

Great, now I had to worry about hurting her feelings. I didn’t have time to hold her hand through this. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. Listen, I’ve got Darek coming in to take over for me when I leave early.”

“The guy who got fired?”

“He quit, but yeah. Him.”

Brandy frowned. “I can handle things until Moira comes in.”

“Joy doesn’t want you and Moira here alone. Darek’s cool. You’ll like him. I promise.” I looked at the clock. “Damn, it’s empty in here.”

She glanced around. “I guess everyone’s out shopping and stuff.”

“Just what I need to be doing. I have half an hour before Darek gets here, I’m going to go do some prep in the back. Can you handle it out here?”

She gave me a look. “You mean can I handle the total lack of customers? I think so.”

Forty minutes passed while I did my prep, trying to get ahead for the next day. Annoyed that Darek was late, I went out front, only to find the place bustling once more with customers and Darek and Brandy casting each other flirtatious glances from either side of the dessert case.

“Hey,” I said.

He looked at me. “Hey, I made it. Brandy was just showing me what’s new.”

The only thing that was new was her, but I didn’t point it out. In cartoons, characters with hearts beating out of their chests and flying from their eyes means true love at first sight. Well, it sort of happens like that in real life sometimes, too, minus the cartoon hearts, and with the addition of smoldering glances across refrigerated pastries.

I left them to it. I had a long list of things I wanted to pick up so I could get them in the mail, mostly odds and ends of strange things like the snack foods native to central Pennsylvania that my mother missed out in Cali. I picked up a few bags of groceries for Cap while I was at it. Money well spent as far as I was concerned, since he ate like a rhino. I found some toys for Simone and Max, as well as the cutest little snowman plushie for the new baby.

And then, crossing from one overcrowded store to my car, passing by a shop window I’d never looked in twice, I felt my entire world grind to a shuddering, stuttering stop.

I’d heard of the Green Bean, of course. On the other side of town from the Morningstar Mocha, it wasn’t exactly competition, but was probably one of the better known coffee shops in the area. And there in the front window, tapping away at her laptop, sat Meredith.

I stopped in the parking lot, shielded between two cars, my hands loaded with bags that were quickly growing too heavy. She sat alone at her table, but close enough to the other customers that it was obvious she could take part in the conversation. She looked up and laughed as I watched.

She tossed her hair over her shoulders, leaning forward to talk to the man next to her. He gestured broadly, and they laughed together again.

It was the equivalent of finding her naked and sucking some stranger’s cock, that’s how horrible it felt. Harsh and breath-stealing and painful. She’d told me she was working from home in the cold winter so she didn’t have to go outside. That she had the coffee girl at home and didn’t need to go out anymore to get her. Meredith had told me a lot of things, and it looked as if at least some of them were lies.

Chapter 34

I
didn’t tell her what I’d seen.

It would’ve sounded silly, accusing her of cheating on me with a coffee shop. And who knew, maybe it had been a whim. Maybe like me, she’d been out shopping, and decided just to stop in for something hot to drink. After all, no matter how it felt, it wasn’t out of line for her to drink her coffee wherever she wanted to.

She didn’t notice that I was quiet, but Charlie did. He didn’t ask me why, just pulled me close to press a kiss to my temple and smooth my hair off my forehead. His squeeze comforted me. I leaned into it, breathing in his good, soap-and-water smell. His heat.

“I think we should bag the ski vacation.” Meredith tossed this out over the dinner she’d cooked and had ready for us both by the time we got home.

Pasta, sauce, salad, garlic bread. It was the first meal we’d all had together the entire week, but it tasted a little sour to me. It tasted like a bribe.

“What? Why?” Charlie sopped up some sauce with his bread. “I thought you’d already booked something.”

“Yeah.” Meredith gave him a sideways glance. “Of course you did. Well, it’s been hard as fuck trying to find something for three, that’s all. Lots of packages for two and four. None for three. We’d have to get two rooms, which is twice the cost.”

I had a bite of spaghetti halfway to my mouth and used that as an excuse not to answer with anything more than a shrug. Meredith turned her attention to Charlie again. He was twirling his fork but not eating, and his fork scraped the plate. He didn’t say anything at first, then looked at me.

“What about a room with two beds?” he suggested.

Meredith caught his look and frowned. “I’m not paying all that money to sleep crammed up in a double bed.”

“You can have your own,” he offered. “I’ll share with Tesla.”

I cringed. “You two go. I’ll stay here.”

He turned to me. “But you took the time off already, didn’t you?”

“It’s okay. You two go.” I didn’t want them to go alone; I didn’t want to be left behind. I’d been looking forward to the ski trip. Jacuzzi tubs, a bedroom with a fireplace, the works.

Charlie drank some of the red wine Meredith had poured him. “I guess…”

“No.” She shook her head. “I can’t get anything now. It’s too late.”

Charlie put his fork down with a clink. “I thought you were taking care of this, Meredith.”

I wanted to leave. I so did not want to be here during the showdown. But all I could do was stare at my plate and pretend to enjoy the dinner that was now like eating sand.

“I told you. I tried.” She frowned. “It’s impossible.”

“You could’ve let me know you were having trouble. I’d have helped you. Looked up some stuff online,” Charlie began.

“Jesus, Charles, I’m not completely impaired. I told you, I looked up everything, but you do realize that Vermont at Christmastime is booked up pretty far in advance, don’t you? What would you like me to do, perform miracles?” She stabbed at her pasta. “I told you, there’s nothing reasonable for three. That’s just the way it is.”

“You don’t really need me to go,” I said.

She looked at me, her smile fading a little and something dark flittering in her gaze. “No. I guess we don’t.”

“Of course we do.” He turned to me. “I thought you wanted to go.”

“No. It’s fine.” I shrugged and drank some of my own wine. “You two go, if you can get reservations. You should.”

Charlie didn’t look happy, but he didn’t say anything more about it. Later, when I was washing the dishes, Meredith came up behind to slip her arms around me and put her chin on my shoulder.

“Mmm,” she murmured into my ear. “You smell so good.”

“Did you have a good day?” I asked without turning around. My hands were full of suds.

“Oh. Yeah, it was okay. Kind of slow. I got caught up on my receipts and followed up on all my party leads. Hey, what do you think about me taking on another party business?”

I scrubbed at the pan she’d used to sauté the onions and garlic. “Like what?”

“Oh. Well, there’s this really fun adult novelties and toys party company I was thinking of trying out. Under Where?”

“Underwear?”

“Under Where,” she said. “Like a question. Under Where?”

Her hands moved in slow circles over my belly, as mine did in the sudsy hot water. “You sell Kitchen Klassics, Wix Alight and Jangle Bangles already. When will you have time?”

Her hands stopped moving. “You don’t like the idea.”

“What does Charlie say?”

“Haven’t asked him. Why should he even care?”

I rinsed the pan and dried my hands, then turned to face her. “For the same reason he cares about everything. Number one, he’s your husband. Number two, you probably need money for the start-up kit, right? And three…adult toys? Meredith, that stuff is…well, you know how he is about the school.”

She frowned and pushed away from me. “I have plenty of money for the kit. I have parties scheduled every day this week and next, and two on the weekend, plus the orders that come in from my website sales. And I’m so tired of worrying about Charlie’s damn school. For fuck’s sake, Tesla, he lives with two women. You think it would matter so much if anyone knows his wife sells dildos?”

“I don’t know. So do it, then,” I said, annoyed. “Why should I care?”

She frowned at my response. “Wow, what’s with the bitch face?”

I shrugged.

Her eyes narrowed. “What is up with you? Seriously, Tesla. I’m trying to share something with you that I’m excited about, and you act like I’m kicking a puppy. Is this about the trip?”

I opened my mouth to confront her about the coffee shop, but she stopped my words with a kiss. A long, lingering kiss that took my breath away and made me forget I was upset. Her tongue stroked mine and her hand slid under my skirt to press between my legs.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said against my lips with that smile that always did me in. “I tried my best, I really did. But next summer we can go on a trip together, the three of us. To someplace sexy. I promise.”