The Spiral Path (25 page)

Line by line Rainey and Kenzie worked
out the rhythms of the dialogue so that the formal Victorian language wouldn't
sound stiff. The characters had to be convincingly historical, yet the language
must not distance the audience. That was why Rainey had wanted an English
actress with classical stage training. Luckily, she'd spoken the dialogue as
she wrote it, so she could manage the high-flown sentences.

Besides running the dialogue, they began
to roughly block out movements. She had clear mental images of how far apart
they would stand, how they would look at each other--or avoid a glance.

Despite her intentions, she began to
slip into her character. Rainey had written the final shooting script in a
white haze of pain after she and Kenzie split up, and it was impossible to
separate herself from Sarah when they shared the anguish of losing a beloved
man for reasons they couldn't understand.

Kenzie wasn't doing much better. His
natural fluid movements had been replaced by the rigidity of a repressed,
tormented Victorian officer, and he was acting out every sentence as if they
were on camera. By the time they reached the scene where Randall tried to break
the engagement, Rainey's nerves were raw, and Kenzie was darkly convincing in
his portrayal of a man on the edge.

Desperate because of the social
pressures that were inexorably forcing them to the altar, Randall asked his
fiancee to walk with him to the village. She accepted happily, prattling on
about aspects of their wedding until he said harshly, "Sarah. My dearest
girl. I ... I can't marry you."

"Not marry?" She stopped dead,
horror-struck. "You can't mean that! Are ... are the preparations too
elaborate? If you prefer, we can have a simple ceremony."

"No! It's not the ceremony, but the
marriage itself."

Two beats of silence before she
whispered, "What have I done, John?"

"The fault isn't yours, but
mine." He turned away, his movements brittle.. "I am ... flawed. Broken.
Unworthy to be your husband."

"That's not true! You are a
gentleman, a soldier, a hero. You are worthy to marry any woman in
England." She caught her breath. "There's someone else, isn't there?
A grand lady better suited to be your wife."

"There is no other woman. There
never will be." He gazed at her, his soul aching in his eyes. Was that
Randall's pain, or did some of it belong to Kenzie?

"Then
why?
I don't
understand."

"Thank God you don't." A
muscle jumped in his jaw. "The world is a place of great wickedness, and
it has ... destroyed my honor. I cannot marry."

Heart hammering, Rainey realized they
were acting a scene she hadn't had the courage to face in real life. "But
we pledged ourselves to each other! Even if you won't be my husband, in my heart
I am your wife. I love you. I always will."

"How can you love me when you don't
even know me? I'm not the man you think I am, Sarah. I never was." He
touched her hair with yearning, a gesture so eloquent it must be duplicated on
camera. "You mustn't marry a stranger."

But Rainey had, and with her eyes wide
open. "Aren't men and women always strangers to each other? You dreamed of
valor and honor, while I dreamed of creating a home for you and bearing your
children." Her voice broke as she thought how much she'd wanted to have
Kenzie's child. "Two years I waited and prayed for you, and half that time
I thought you were dead. Never once did I look at another man. Do you think I
can stop caring simply because you bid me to?"

"You
must
leave me," he
said with barely suppressed violence. "For both our sakes."

"To say that, you are more
honorable than you believe." More Rainey than Sarah, she stepped nearer,
struggling with the desire to touch him. "I will release you if you truly
wish it--but only if you will swear that you don't love me."

"This isn't about love!"

"How can marriage not be about
love?" She stopped so close they were almost touching. "Persuade me
that you don't love me, and you are free."

"Free?" His mouth twisted.
"You were with me every moment I was in Africa. In the bleakest hours,
thoughts of you were my only link to sanity. You were my salvation then. I
can't drag you down into my darkness now."

"As long as we're together, I won't
mind the darkness." Rainey turned her head and kissed his hand, tears
stinging her eyes as she abandoned all pretense that she was acting. "Why,
Kenzie? I don't understand any more than Sarah does."

He flinched, retreating into his role as
a shield against her loss of control. "Don't cry, Sarah. I can't bear to
think I'm hurting you."

She choked back a sob. "But you
are."

The script called for him to kiss her
tears away. For a taut moment they stared at each other, caught between the
force of the story and painful reality. She thought he'd withdraw without
touching her, but he bent into the kiss. The frayed line between characters and
actors dissolved and she tilted her head back. Their lips met, his salty with
her tears. It was not the kiss of a Victorian soldier with his innocent
fiancee, but the embrace of a husband desiring his wife.

The script fell from her hands as she
clung to him like a drowning woman to a life line. For months she'd hungered
for his touch. This was insane, but she didn't want to think or judge, only
feel. "Ah, Kenzie, I've missed you so much..."

"Not as much as I missed you."
His arms encircled her and they kissed with explosive force. She wrapped
herself around him, trying to melt into his body, until he released her,
swearing under his breath. "I should never have suggested rehearsing in
such an isolated place."

Shaken by his withdrawal, she said
acidly, "You mean this isn't a planned seduction?"

"Hardly. I've hurt you enough. The
last thing I want to do is hurt you again."

"Like John Randall, you're
painfully honorable, at least in this." She placed her hands on his
shoulders, slid them down his arms, feeling his muscles tense at the caress.
What did she want tonight, wisdom or passion?

She began to unfasten his buttons.
"I already feel miserable. At least if we sleep together, there are
compensations."

He caught her hand. "Strictly
temporary ones, with a fierce morning after."

She tugged his shirt loose. "I've
read that it's pretty common for couples in the process of getting divorced to
sleep together, so this is normal behavior."

"Normal, maybe, but not wise."

"To hell with being wise." She
kissed the hollow above his collarbone, enjoying the shiver that went through
him.

"Are you sure?" His hands slid
down her back to cradle her hips, drawing her tight against him.

She hesitated, knowing she should take
this chance to change her mind. But she wanted him so much it was a physical
ache, and they would never have such privacy again. "I'm sure. This will
change nothing, but ... I want to be with you one last time." Perhaps a
final intimacy was needed to say good-bye.

"Then let's make it a night to
remember." He caught her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom,
enfolding her body after he laid her on the bed. As he kissed her throat, he
murmured, "No past, no future. Only now."

"This won't even have
happened." She buried her hands in his hair and released the doubts and
fears that ruled her life. For now they were lovers, and nothing else mattered.

They came together with fierceness and
tenderness, ravenous hunger and taut restraint, knowing each other so well that
no words were needed. She cried out when he entered her, wanting to weep at the
familiarity and rightness of their joining. Why had he thrown away something so
precious? She buried the thought, concentrating on the fever in her blood, the
rising urgency that drowned out mind and pain and anger.

Until in the firestorm of fulfillment,
she was free.

CHAPTER 14

A
n
apartment carved from a cliff was as deeply silent as a tomb. So silent
that Kenzie thought he could hear the beating heart of the woman sleeping in
his arms.

Faint light glowed from the living room
to show the elegant contours of Rainey's shoulder and torso. Her body wasn't as
dramatically sexy as some, but discipline and hard work had made her supple and
perfectly toned, and she radiated the allure of passionate honesty and deep
feeling. He wanted to lean forward and lick those soft curves and hidden places
until she woke with slow-building desire.