The Stag and Hen Weekend (38 page)

‘So was mine. She’ll be heartbroken.’

Caitlin stood up, defeated. ‘I should get you back before your friends call the police and tell them I’ve kidnapped you. I’m sorry this hasn’t worked out.’

‘Thanks,’ said Helen. ‘I appreciate that.’

It was a little after one by the time Caitlin dropped Helen off in The Manor’s main car park. A number of people were loading up expensive looking cars with expensive looking luggage but there was no sign of Aiden and his friends.

‘Are you sure you won’t come and say goodbye to the rest of the girls?’ asked Helen. ‘They’ll be sorry not to see you off.’

Caitlin smiled. ‘I think we both know that’s not really true.’

The two women embraced awkwardly before Caitlin climbed back into her car. Helen stood rooted to the spot as she reflected on everything she and Caitlin had been through. Would this be the last time they would meet? For better or worse Caitlin had been a part of her life for a long time and for her to disappear felt wrong. The thought that this might also be true for her and Phil made Helen’s blood run cold.

Caitlin wound down her window and leaned out. ‘Helen?’

‘Yes?’

‘Could you do me a favour?’

‘Of course, what?’

‘Tell Yaz, I’m sorry.’

‘What for?’

Caitlin didn’t reply.

She exited the car park and disappeared through the hotel gates. Helen rolled Caitlin’s mysterious non-message to Yaz around in her head. What had she meant? Sorry for spoiling the weekend that Yaz had organised or something more? Shivering in spite of the full glare of the afternoon sun, Helen turned to face the hotel but she had taken no more than a few steps when she spotted Aiden.

‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere.’

‘I’ve only just got back.’

‘I saw. A showdown with Caitlin?’ Helen nodded. ‘Are you okay? She hasn’t told her brother about us has she?’

‘She says not.’

‘And you believe her?’

Helen nodded. ‘I’m too terrified not to.’

‘You don’t look terrified.’

‘I prefer to keep my worrying on the inside.’ Helen wanted a hug and to be told everything was going to be all right, and yet the thought that it might come from Aiden unnerved her.

‘I thought you’d be gone by now,’ she said blinking away the tiredness in her eyes.

‘We’re all packed and ready,’ replied Aiden. ‘I just talked the lads into giving me an extra half an hour to look for you. It’s cost me a two-hundred-quid bottle of cognac but it was worth it just to see your face again.’ He gently grazed his hand against Helen’s cheek. She recoiled.

‘I told you this morning. I can’t do this.’

‘Can’t do what exactly? I didn’t dream last night, did I? We did kiss.’

‘And I regret it.’

‘That’s the guilt talking, not you.’

‘This is so easy for you, isn’t it? You really think that a week before my wedding I’m going to leave the man I’ve lived with for nine years and jump straight into your arms.’

‘No,’ snapped Aiden, ‘I think you’d rather just sit around making yourself feel bad for no reason first.’

‘I thought you were being patient and understanding.’

‘I was,’ replied Aiden. ‘I am. It’s just that for the first time in a long while I know exactly what I want and it’s frustrating that I can’t have it.’

‘You sound like a petulant schoolboy. Am I just another “thing” that you’ve got it into your head to desire?’

‘It’s not like that and you know it. I want you, Helen, I want you in my life right now. I know it’s my fault that we spilt up. I know if I’d have done the right thing back when it really mattered we wouldn’t be standing here having this ridiculous conversation. That’s part of the reason I’m so keen. I’m just desperate to make things right.’

Helen’s head was ready to explode. ‘This is all too much!’

‘I know,’ said Aiden. ‘And this is me trying to be restrained. Only you can make me like this, no one else.’

‘Not even your ex-wife?’

‘Not even my ex-wife.’ He reached out for her hand. ‘I’m trying to show you how committed I am to making a go of things. I know this is my last chance to prove I’m serious. This isn’t just me playing at being romantic. This is me laying everything on the line. If you want me to give up my show I’ll hand in my notice live on air tomorrow morning. If you want me to move out of London I’ll be on the first train to Nottingham. Whatever it is you want you’ve got it.’

‘How about time?’

A flash of exasperation flashed across Aiden’s face. ‘You really know how to kill a grand gesture.’

‘It’s what I need though.’

‘The resignation didn’t float your boat?’

Helen shook her head.

‘Fine, if time’s what you want then it’s yours. But know this: I’ll be thinking about you every moment of every day until you call me.’ He stepped forward ready to kiss her but Helen pulled away. ‘I can’t.’

‘Maybe not,’ murmured Aiden, ‘but one day soon you will.’

17.

The girls were having tea at a table around the corner from the terrace. They were all wearing sunglasses and laughing at something Ros was saying. The moment they spotted Helen however the laughter stopped.

‘I wish you wouldn’t stop enjoying yourselves the second you see me. A girl could get paranoid.’

‘How did it go?’ asked Yaz. ‘Did she pull a knife on you?’

‘She was fine,’ sighed Helen. ‘We went to a pub down the road. Had a drink and a chat. The whole thing was actually quite civilised, she even asked me to pass on her apologies to you. It’s certainly a weight off my mind.’

‘So you two have made up?’

‘I wouldn’t go that far. It would be more accurate to say that if I was still marrying Phi, Caitlin and I would have chosen to turn over a new leaf. But as we’re not, the point is sort of academic, although I am relieved to have the number of people in the world who hate my guts down to zero.’

‘But the Phil situation remains the same?’

Helen nodded. ‘She said she hadn’t called him but who knows? I’m not even sure it makes a difference now the wedding’s off.’

The girls fell into an uneasy silence, looking to Yaz for guidance.

‘We were thinking that we’d go in to lunch now if you’re hungry.’

‘I’m ravenous.’

‘Good,’ said Yaz. ‘Then let’s do it.’

Sick of being the sole topic of conversation Helen made sure to focus on what the girls had been up to as they made their way over to the restaurant. While they regaled her with tales of plunge pools, high-pitched screaming and stern reprimands from spa attendants, she succeeded in tucking her problems out of sight and enjoying the weekend for what it was meant to be.

They were disappointed to discover that all the tables on the terrace were taken but just then a group sitting outside left and with the best part of a dozen women simultaneously pleading to be given the table once it was cleared the waiter didn’t stand a chance of refusing.

Seated in the sunshine, with a huge plate of prawn and avocado salad in front of her and a final bottle of champagne on its way to the table Helen felt her spirits lift but as she opened her mouth to take her first forkful of food she heard her phone vibrate as it received a text message.

She tried to ignore it, reasoning that there was no spam text worth delaying food as good as that on her plate for, but after a moment she automatically reached for her phone.

She looked at the screen. She didn’t recognise the number and yet for reasons she couldn’t begin to pinpoint she was convinced that she knew who the text was from.

‘Are you okay?’ asked Yaz topping up Helen’s water glass.

Helen waved the glass away. ‘I’m fine. It’s just . . . it’s just . . . it’s just that this text . . . well, I think it’s from Phil.’

Yaz was confused. ‘How do you mean?’

‘It’s from a number that’s not in my phone but I’m absolutely sure it’s from Phil.’

Yaz held out her hand. ‘Let me take a look.’

Helen handed her phone to Yaz. ‘Don’t open it.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because who knows what it says? What if the text is asking if I’m free to talk? I’m the world’s worst liar. If I talk to him he’ll know right away something’s up.’

‘But why do you think he needs to talk to you?’ asked Lorna. ‘If he’s anything like my Dez, chances are he’s texting to remind you to record the Grand Prix for him. Why don’t you just read it and find out?’

Helen shook her head. ‘I’ve just got a bad feeling about it.’

‘What?’ said Lorna, ‘You don’t think they’ve had some kind of accident do you?’

‘No, if it was something like that he’d phone and there are no missed calls. I can’t explain but the more I think about it the more I don’t want to read this text. I’m going to leave it until I’ve seen him tonight and told him everything.’

‘You don’t think he already knows, do you?’ said Yaz anxiously. ‘Caitlin could have been lying about not contacting him.’

‘She’d have nothing to gain.’

‘In that case,’ said Yaz. ‘Give me the phone and if it’s something you need to know I’ll tell you.’

‘And have to spend the rest of the day trying not to read meaning into your every action? No thanks.’ Helen gave in. ‘Okay, I’ll read it and deal with the consequences.’

With the whole table watching her intently Helen manoeuvred her thumb into position but it refused to press the button that would reveal the contents of the text.

‘I just can’t do it,’ she said.

Before Helen could voice her opposition Yaz snatched up the phone, opened the text and smiled.

‘What?’

‘You don’t want to know,’ teased Yaz.

‘Of course I do.’

‘It’s not bad news.’

‘So what does it say?’

Yaz handed the phone back to Helen and as her eyes locked on the screen she wanted to smile and cry at the same time.

Ros leaned in to take a peek. ‘What does it say?’

Helen wiped her eyes. ‘It says: “I love you Spoonface.” ‘ With bated breath her friends waited for an explanation. ‘It’s the pet name Phil gave me years ago.’

Yaz laughed. ‘We gathered that. Why Spoonface?’

Helen shrugged. ‘He made it up and it stuck. He only ever calls me it when I’m sad or moody or worried. It’s his way of relieving the tension.’

‘And what’s your pet name for him?’

‘I’ve never felt like he’s needed anything other than Phil,’ said Helen quietly

‘Why does everything have to be so difficult?’ she said eventually. ‘Why can’t things be straightforward?’ How desperately she had wanted to receive some form of communication from Phil and now that she had, it just made things worse.

‘What should I do? Reply or leave it?’

Yaz spoke first. ‘Leave it. He won’t think anything of it.’

‘But I always reply. What if he calls?’

‘Just ignore it. There could be a million and one reasons why you didn’t take the call.’

Helen wasn’t convinced. ‘I should call him.’

‘And say what?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘But you said yourself that you’re the world’s worst liar.’

‘Then I’d better improve,’ said Helen snatching up the phone once again, ‘because right now I’ve not got much choice.’

Clutching her phone, Helen headed across the terrace towards one of the benches overlooking the river.

The afternoon sun was fierce and Helen felt her brow dampen with perspiration. A middle-aged couple stood watching their two young children skimming stones across the surface of the water. Helen envied them. She wished she could be enjoying the pleasant surroundings and the beautiful weather without a care in the world instead of having to make a telephone call which could completely wreck everything she held dear.

She called up Phil’s number and was ready to press down on the call button when the phone rang. She checked the screen.

‘Hi, Mum, everything okay?’

‘I’m fine, sweetie. I’ve just finished washing up and thought I’d call you before I go and have a sit in the garden. Are you having a nice weekend?’

‘Yes, it’s great. The weather’s beautiful.’

‘And how have those treatment things been?’

‘Wonderful. Really relaxing.’

‘Are you okay? You don’t sound like your usual self.’

‘I’m fine,’ said Helen quickly. ‘Just a bit tired. We had a late night and I still haven’t recovered.’

‘You shouldn’t be having late nights this close to the wedding. Not if you want to look your best for next Saturday. The week before I married your father I was in bed for nine o’clock every night.’

‘And every day you were up at six for your morning constitutional.’

‘Left out of Granny’s house, all the way along Spencer Street, right again at Larch Crescent, all the way along Radcliffe Street and back home in time to make Granddad’s morning brew. Did me the world of good. You should try it.’