The Star-Fire Prophecy (10 page)

Danica stared down now at the sleeping Amy. Eyes of silver. Grey eyes? She shivered. Was this the evil the old man had predicted?

Chapter Twelve

Danica slept fitfully, waking often during the night to check on Amy. The little girl tossed in her sleep and cried out, but the words were not intelligible. They both woke early.

“Do I have to get up?” Amy asked in a half whisper.

Danica rose and went over to sit on Amy’s bed. “Do you feel like getting up?”

Amy shook her head.

“Do you hurt anywhere?”

“No. Only I’m tired…”

Danica examined Amy’s face with concern. The dark circles were still under the grey eyes despite a night’s sleep. She pulled one of Amy’s lower lids down to check the color of the mucus membrane. Was the color paler than normal? Danica wasn’t sure. Anemia? And then a more frightening possibility—leukemia?

Danica made up her mind to have a doctor examine Amy.

“I don’t have to go to my lesson with her?” Amy asked.

“Her? You mean Melantha?”

Amy nodded.

“Not today.”

Amy sighed. “That’s what makes me so tired,” she said. “My lessons. I want to learn, but…” She sat up in bed and clasped her hands together. “But I’m scared.”

Danica put her arm around the small body and felt the rapidity of Amy’s heartbeat.

“What frightens you so?”

Amy pulled away and lay down. “I can’t—I’m not supposed to talk about the lessons.”

“Does Melantha know you
can
talk?”

Amy shook her head, and then her forehead crinkled in doubt. “I don’t think so, but she might. She knows a lot.”

“Amy, I want to help you, but I don’t know what’s wrong. Today we’ll go into town and have a doctor check you over. Maybe…”

Amy shook her head again. “I’m not sick,” she said. “It’s just the lessons. I’m always tired afterwards.”

Danica compressed her lips in frustration. What could Melantha be teaching Amy? Using the energy made one feel better, not worse. Amy seemed drained, as though Melantha took energy away from the child. But that wasn’t possible. Or was it? Danica really didn’t know.

“We’ll see a doctor anyway,” she said to Amy. “I’ll talk to Galt.”

Galt made the arrangements, but it was Evan, not Galt, who drove Danica and Amy into Porterville.

“Hey, you don’t look that sick,” he said to Amy as the Star-Fire station wagon negotiated the turns and twists of the road.

Danica thought he was right. Amy looked more and more alert the farther they got from Star-Fire. Amy had silently insisted on sitting in the backseat alone, and now as she shifted from side to side to see out one window, then the other, she seemed like any child on an unexpected trip.

“I want the doctor to run a blood count,” Danica said in a low voice to Evan. “She seems unduly fatigued.”

He glanced across at Danica. “Sure you aren’t getting carried away? She acts pretty normal to me.”

Danica shrugged and turned away from Evan. Was she exaggerating Amy’s symptoms in her own mind? Was the child merely tired out from lack of sleep after a few late nights? After all, she did roam about at night.
Am I trying to make her out to be sick just to get her away from Melantha? There’s no proof Melantha is injuring Amy. The lessons that frighten her could be harmless
. Amy had come to Star-Fire a disturbed child.

Somewhat to Danica’s disappointment, Dr. Milford was a general practitioner, not a pediatrician. He asked Danica to come into the examining room with him while he went over Amy.

“She’s a quiet one,” he said. “I haven’t seen her before. Some of your children are pretty wild when they get in here. Afraid of doctors, I suppose.”

“Not any more so than any child,” Danica said.

Dr. Milford raised his eyebrows. “Well, mental disability’s not my field,” he said. “But this little girl seems all right, not a thing wrong with her I can find.”

“Would you do a blood count?” Danica asked.

Once again the eyebrows went up, but the doctor had his lab girl puncture Amy’s finger. “Don’t think we’ll find anything abnormal,” he told Danica.

And he was right. Amy’s hemoglobin was on the low side of normal, but it was normal. The white and red blood cells were normal in number and appearance, too.

“She’s fine. Get her to bed earlier if she’s tired,” Dr. Milford said.

“But she’s so thin.”

“Thin people live longer. Look, Miss Linstrom, for some reason you’re worrying about this little girl. Physically she’s fine. Maybe you’re too attached to the child. A pretty girl like you should marry and have her own babies instead of wasting love and attention on these disabled children. What can you ever do for her to make her a normal child? Nothing. Mental retardation is forever.”

Danica stared at the grey-haired doctor. She wanted to cry out that Amy wasn’t disabled, and even if she were, no love for a child was ever wasted. But she took a deep breath, thanked him for his time, and went to collect Amy from the examining room.

“You’re okay,” she told Amy as she lifted her off the table. “Not sick at all.”

Amy looked at Danica with her large grey eyes.
Silver
? Danica wondered fleetingly.

“It’s the lessons,” Amy said softly. “That’s all.”

Evan was in the waiting room. “Well?” he asked.

“You were right,” Danica said. “There’s nothing wrong.”

But as they drove up and around the hills toward Star-Fire, Amy’s movements in the backseat lessened until she was drooping in the corner when they pulled into the parking lot.

“Hey, what’s this?” Evan asked Amy, but she turned her face away from him and from Danica, too. When Amy got out of the car she moved so slowly that Evan picked her up.

“I guess her visit with the doctor wore her out,” he said. “Was she very frightened?”

It’s Star-Fire she’s afraid of
, Danica wanted to say, but again held back her words. She shook her head. “I’ll let her take a nap,” she said. “Bring her up to the house.”

“But won’t she be moving back to her own room?”

Danica looked at Evan. “Not just yet,” she said.

He shrugged.

“I’ll talk to Galt,” Danica said. “I think Amy likes Maxwell. It’s the first she’s shown interest in any of the other children. I believe they should be in the same house so the relationship can be encouraged.”

“Do you think it’s wise to have Amy with you?” Evan asked.

“Why not?”

“Well, this whole bit, hovering over her like a mother hen—you’ll suffocate her if you’re not careful.”

“No I won’t.” Danica’s voice was sharp. “It was a professional concern today. I thought she looked pale, and since she seemed so tired I wondered about blood abnormalities. Now that a doctor has seen her, I won’t worry.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me.” He shifted Amy so he could take Danica’s hand. “Aren’t we friends?”

But Danica pulled her hand away, angry at Evan and at herself, too. What had she accomplished by her insistence on taking Amy into town? Would everyone think she was overreacting? Would Galt take Amy away from her?

They found Galt in the kitchen of Danica’s house, discussing prices with a painter.

“I don’t know,” Galt said when Danica took him aside. “If Amy isn’t sick…”

“But she likes Maxwell. Couldn’t we try …?” Danica broke off to look imploringly at Galt.

He smiled at her. “Don’t be so upset. Of course we can try Amy over here for a week or so and see how she gets along. I agree any interest she shows in developing a relationship should be encouraged. But you’ll have to be careful not to…”

“I know—don’t get too attached to Amy.” She smiled at Galt. “But I’m her friend and she does know I am I intend to act like one.”

“There’s no reason Melantha can’t continue her work with Amy now, is there?” Galt asked. “Melantha doesn’t want too great a gap of time between contacts with a child. She’s very pleased with Amy’s progress.”

“One more day,” Danica pleaded. “Amy needs one more day of rest.”

Galt frowned. “I’ll see,” he said.

When Danica went into her bedroom to check on Amy, she was surprised to find Evan standing beside the bed looking down at the girl. He came to the door when he saw Danica.

“Well?” he asked.

“Amy’s going to stay here for the time being.” Evan went out into the hall and she followed him.

“Do you ever have the feeling there’s something inside Amy’s head evaluating you, sizing you up?” he asked, voice low.

Danica was taken aback. “Do you mean she’s more intelligent than we think?” she said finally.

He shook his head. “Not that exactly. More as though something alien is watching you?”

Danica stared at him.

“Oh, forget it,” he said. “Just a weird idea.” Danica walked outside with Evan. When she came back to Amy, Maxwell was with the girl. He sat on the bed and Amy sat next to him.

“Maxie,” she was saying softly, “close your eyes, that’s right, you’re a good boy…” When she saw Danica she broke off. Maxwell’s eyes popped open and he slid off the bed and left the room.

“What were you doing?” Danica said.

“Seeing Maxwell.”

“Seeing him?”

“Inside his head, like he really is.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You know—like the energy. When we all merge ourselves. Not the outside part you can see with your eyes. That’s not what touches together when a lot of us merge. It’s the inside.”

Danica sat down beside Amy. The mystical part of energy use was something she glossed over, didn’t really believe or disbelieve. She’d never felt anything unusual inside herself. She could tell the energy worked; symptoms of illness improved, tenseness relaxed. She believed in the energy, but she didn’t actually feel anything when a group using energy merged their inner consciousness, which was what Amy must be talking about.

“I didn’t know you joined any of the groups,” Danica said.

“You don’t have to hold hands to go inside,” Amy said matter-of-factly. “You just do it.”

“How do you see inside? Can you explain?”

Amy shook her head. “I don’t know, I just do.”

“Is this part of the lessons?”

“No. I mean, maybe I got better at it because of the lessons, but I think I always could see inside a little.”

“Like you saw the rock falling and the fire?”

“No, that’s different. Then it’s like I know what’s going to happen.”

Good heavens
, Danica thought.
Is this really true? Does Amy read minds as well as foresee future events
? What did Melantha have to do with this? Did she know?

“Do you still like me?” Amy asked.

Danica smiled with difficulty, but she reached out her hand to Amy. “Yes,” she said. “I’ll always like you.”

Amy put her hand in Danica’s. “No matter what happens?” she asked.

“No matter what,” Danica promised.

Amy took her hand away. “My mama didn’t like me,” she said.

Danica said nothing. How could she reassure a child who had found her parents dead?

“Mama wanted to kill me so she wouldn’t be afraid anymore. She said I was bad and she hated me and I should be dead.”

“Oh, no,” Danica said.

“Yes, she did. But I could see inside her, so I hid when she came with the gun so she couldn’t find me, and then Daddy came home and she shot him instead, and I felt him die because I could see in Daddy’s head the best of anyone’s. He didn’t mind. But Mama did. Her head was all cloudy and she was always afraid.”

Amy sat rigid on the bed, her hands clasped tightly together, eyes staring straight ahead.

“Then I screamed inside myself, not out loud, when I knew Daddy was dead, and I don’t remember very well, it was like I fell asleep. But when I woke up Mama was dead, too. And everyone thought Daddy killed her first, then shot himself. I heard the policeman say they proved Daddy fired the gun. But he didn’t. Mama shot him when he tried to take the gun away from her. But she meant to kill me. I’m glad she’s dead.”

“Oh, Amy,” Danica said. “You poor sweetheart…”

Amy turned her grey eyes toward Danica. “I never told anyone because I couldn’t talk for a while. I
really
couldn’t, not just pretend. I don’t know why. And then later I thought no one would believe me. But you do, I knew you would because I always knew you’d come and find me sometime. With red hair like my daddy. And you’d have the arrow because we’re both Sagittarius. Daddy was, too, and he told me all about the Archer and how he hates badness.”

The grey eyes were tearless. “Do you think I’m bad?”

There were tears in Danica’s eyes. “No,” she said.

“I thought and thought about what happened,” Amy said, “and I think Mama laid down on the floor next to Daddy after he was dead and held his hand with the gun in it and made his dead hand shoot it somehow. Because when I came out to find them, they were both on the floor and Daddy had the gun.”

Oh God, we’ll never know what happened
, Danica thought.
But I’ll accept what Amy tells me so she’ll trust me. It could be true; she thinks it’s true
.

“You couldn’t help what happened,” Danica said. “It’s not your fault. Nothing that happened was your fault.”

Tears welled up in Amy’s eyes and she flung herself against Danica and sobbed. “Daddy,” she cried, “Daddy, Daddy.”

Danica held the sobbing child until she quieted, then stayed with her until she fell asleep.
How terrible
, she thought.
Amy has held all this in since her parents’ death and constructed a role for herself to play—the mute, disabled child. I must tell someone, tell Galt
.

But she checked herself.
No. Before I breathe one word of this I must have Amy’s consent. She trusts me, I must be careful not to breach that trust. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, about how Amy can drop her playacting and become herself
.

Danica went into her bathroom to freshen up. As she picked a clean towel from the stack next to the sink, something fell out and into the sink bowl. Something that moved, was alive. She looked into the sink and stepped back with a choked cry. Another scorpion.

Chapter Thirteen

Danica slept well that night, despite the unease the finding of the scorpion left with her. She’d killed it and then sprayed the bathroom with insecticide. She’d searched through the bedroom for others but found no more.

When she awoke the next morning, Amy was sitting at the foot of her bed regarding her solemnly.

“Hi,” Danica said. “Feel better?”

Amy nodded. “It rained last night,” she said. “I heard it.”

But the morning was sunny, though cool. Lydia was already in the kitchen with the other children when they came out.

“We’re going to the snow today,” Lydia said.

“Snow,” Maxwell repeated.

“Where?” asked Danica.

“Up by Balch Park,” Galt said, “if we can get that far. Rain here means snow in the mountains.”

“Snow,” said Maxwell, watching Amy.

“Sounds like fun,” Danica said.

“And the painter will redo the kitchen while we’re gone.” Lydia lowered her voice. “I think Galt really wanted to take only you and Amy, but thought it wouldn’t look good.”

“Singling out one child, you mean?”

“Well, that, too. But I meant you. I think he’s…”

Danica shook her head. “Oh, no.” But she remembered the fire in Galt’s eyes when he touched her, and her own response. How nice it would be if only the three of them were going. Amy would be safe, secure with them, and maybe she could talk to Galt about the child. Plus the excitement of being with him.

“Let’s see, there’ll be seven of us, then?” Danica said to Lydia.

“Yes. I’ll make the supreme sacrifice and sit in back with the kids to keep peace.”

“Oh, you don’t have…”

“I’d expect the same from you if Dave was driving.”

They bundled up the children after breakfast and piled into the Star-Fire station wagon. Galt took Highway 190 and drove into Springville, where he turned off onto the Balch Park Road. They passed small farms and bare-limbed pear and apple orchards as the road paralleled the North Fork of the Tule River. But soon the road began a series of altitude-gaining switchbacks.

“That’s Dennison Mountain,” Galt said, pointing. “And Moses Mountain over there.”

The road was so steep and narrow that Danica held her breath until he had both hands back on the steering wheel.

“You’re not used to mountain roads, are you?” Galt asked with a grin.

“Snow,” Maxwell exclaimed from the backseat. He was right, they could see the rise ahead of them dusted with white.

“We’ll see the sequoias in a minute,” Galt said.

The snow on the road had melted, but they could see it on both sides of them. The children began clamoring to get out. Danica watched Amy, who, though she said nothing, seemed as eager as the rest.

“Wait until we get onto the flat here,” Galt said.

The redwoods rose above them with pines and cedars interspersed between the big trees. The sky was blue and clear, and the snow set off the deep reds and greens of the trees with postcard clarity. Through the air vents came the smell of evergreens.

Now there was snow in the road and after the station wagon skidded once, Galt pulled off into a small clearing. “This is as close as we’ll get to Balch Park today,” he said. “Everybody out.”

There were three or four inches of snow on the ground and the children tumbled out into it. Lydia began teaching them to roll snowballs for snowmen, but they soon discovered snowballs could be thrown, too. Also eaten, although Danica did her best to discourage that.

“Actually, the snow’s probably fairly clean up here,” Galt said. “Not too many germs, because not too many people. I used to eat snow when I was a kid. Didn’t you?”

Danica shook her head. “I never had a chance,” she said. “Believe it or not, this is my first snow.”

“Well, then,” said Galt, and stooped to gather enough snow for a ball.

Danica eyed him. “You wouldn’t dare,” she said.

“What? Eat it or throw it at you?”

“Either one,” she said.

“Try me.” He drew back his arm and she dodged, but the snowball caught her on the shoulder. She bent to gather her own snow.

Soon they had chased each other so far they were out of hearing range of the children and Lydia. A rise hid them from sight. Danica leaned, laughing against a tree.

“No fair,” she told him. “You’ve had previous experience.”

“Ignorance is no excuse,” he said, and threw another snowball.

Danica didn’t see it coming in time to duck and it hit her cheek, bringing tears to her eyes. Instantly Galt was beside her, wiping off her face with his handkerchief.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought you’d dodge it.”

“It’s all right. I’m not hurt.”

“I don’t ever want to hurt you,” he said.

She couldn’t answer. He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her cold face. His lips were warm, too, covering hers, and they clung together until Danica felt a tug at her leg. Pulling away from Galt, she looked down to see Amy staring up at them. Another child appeared over the rise, following Amy’s footsteps. Maxwell.

Galt smiled at Danica, then crouched down to speak to Amy.

“Do you like the snow?” he asked.

Somewhat to Danica’s surprise, Amy nodded and reached out her hand to Galt. He took it with a sidelong glance and raise of his eyebrows at Danica. Danica moved to take Amy’s other hand and they began to walk back, occasionally lifting Amy off the ground and swinging her while she laughed aloud.

When they came to Maxwell, Galt reached out his free hand, but Maxwell scooted around him and took Danica’s instead.

Over the rise they found Lydia holding hands with the two other children and heading toward them. When the two chains reached each other, Galt said, “Let’s make a circle.”

This was a familiar command. Hands clasped hands and the circle was formed, the Star-Fire circle. “Om,” Galt intoned, holding the word, drawing it out, and the children began to follow suit. The chant had begun.

“Om,” Danica chanted and gathered awareness so she could start the energy flow. She felt her body sway from side to side and knew the others in the circle were doing the same. Their voices rose in a merged hum and disappeared among the redwoods, then seemed to return until the air was throbbing with sound. Time was meaningless. Danica wasn’t sure how long they had merged when the humming began to diminish and then faded into silence. Slowly the hands unclasped.

Danica looked around at the group, feeling a closer kinship with these six individuals than she’d ever known. And yet she felt light and free. She bent down to Amy.

“How is today?” she asked softly. “How are you?”

Amy put her arms around Danica’s neck and her mouth next to Danica’s ear. “She’s gone,” Amy whispered. “The darkness is gone.”

Then Maxwell’s face was there and Danica was unable to ask what Amy meant.

“Did you notice the echo effect?” Galt asked.

“Wow,” Lydia responded. “I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“Helloo,” Galt called, and after a second the echo repeated, “…looo.”

“Cold,” Maxwell said.

They all were. It was time to leave.

On the trip down, with the heater warming the car, some of the children fell asleep. Danica felt Galt’s eyes on her now and then and when she turned her head to look at him, she thought something passed between them, a promise, a commitment to each other.

They were back at Star-Fire by early afternoon. Everyone was starving. “Lunch at Fred’s,” Lydia said. “He left a note on the table.” The smell of paint in the house was strong, but the painter was gone.

“Will you be having lunch with us?” Danica asked Galt.

“I’d like to but I can’t today.” He smiled at her. “I would have taken a picnic lunch for the children, but I’ve learned from experience never to feed a child when there’s a mountain road to come down.” Danica nodded. She’d felt a bit queasy herself coming down the switchbacks.

“Staff meeting tonight. See you then.”

“Nice day,” Lydia said to Danica after Galt went out. “I like the snow, and the kids had a ball. Even Amy. I heard her laughing, first time I ever did.”

“I can see I missed something growing up where there wasn’t snow in the winter,” Danica said.

“Are you as serious about him as he is about you?” Lydia asked.

“What?”

Lydia glanced around at the children and lowered her voice. “About Galt. Any fool can see he’s well and truly hooked. On you.”

Danica smiled. She knew it must be a foolish, fatuous smile, but she couldn’t help it. Never before had she felt about a man as she felt about Galt.

“Can’t say I blame you. But Melantha…” Lydia broke off. “Well, never mind, no use in borrowing trouble.” She began hustling the children toward the bedrooms. “Let’s get out of these wet clothes and then we’ll eat. Okay?”

Danica headed for her own bedroom where Amy had already gone.

Amy was changing her clothes. She looked up when Danica entered and smiled.

“Today was fun, wasn’t it?” Danica said. “You seemed to have a good time. Do you like Galt? I noticed you took his hand.”

“You like him,” Amy said.

“Well, yes.”

“Then I do.”

A trickle of apprehension ran along Danica’s spine.
I’m not infallible
, she thought.
It’s wrong for Amy to believe in me so blindly
.

“What did you mean about the darkness?” she asked Amy.

Amy looked away. “I can’t talk about, it,” she said. “Not yet.”

After lunch Danica and Lydia took the children to see the horses and Danica met Dave. It was obvious Lydia and sandy-haired Dave were fond of each other, but when Danica mentioned it later, Lydia shook her head.

“I don’t know,” Lydia said. “Sometimes I think I love him, but then I see how other people—well, like today, how Galt looked at you—and I’m just not sure.”

“I think Dave’s in love with you,” Danica said.

“I don’t know,” Lydia repeated.

“What do we do about the children when there’s a staff meeting?” Danica asked.

“Galt hires off-duty psych techs from the state hospital for the evening. They come over right after supper, six of them, and sort of babysit.”

“But these children don’t need state-hospital attendants.”

Lydia shrugged. “So what else is new? Of course not. But no one else around will come. There’s so much fear of mentally disabled kids. You know how it is. Plus they think Star-Fire is weird.”

“I know,” Danica said.

“So we bring our kids to Fred’s after supper. It’s his turn to have a host house. The kids are put together so they’re all in six houses for the evening. But I think we can use our own kitchen to get supper, don’t you? The paint should be dry by then.”

The night was crisp as Danica walked with Fred and Lydia toward Galt’s house. She had changed into a green pants suit, her favorite, that matched her eyes and set off her hair. She wanted to be pretty, to stand out, to attract Galt’s attention so he’d never notice another woman. What had Lydia meant about Melantha? Melantha and Galt?

The strange faces at the meeting seemed friendly. Galt introduced her as a newcomer to Star-Fire and mentioned her qualifications. But when the discussion of staff problems was over and they were drinking coffee and eating cookies, she overheard a grey-haired woman say to the man next to her, “Pretty girl. I’m surprised she’s here.”

“Probably won’t be long,” the man said.

Melantha came up to Danica then and she heard no more.

“Galt tells me Amy is much better. She’ll be resuming her lessons with me tomorrow. At one, please.”

Danica knew she couldn’t refuse. “Yes, Amy is better. But something has been tiring her. It couldn’t be the lessons, I suppose, but…”

“No. I’ll expect her on time. Please see that she gets there and doesn’t hide on the way.”

“What are you teaching her? To control the energy?”

“Of course not. She’s not capable yet, perhaps never will be. Not many of our children are.” Melantha’s dark eyes never left Danica’s. “Has she spoken to you?”

I wish I was a better liar
, Danica thought as she hesitated, then she saw by the flash in Melantha’s eyes that she’d waited too long. Abruptly, Melantha swung away from her.

She knows
, Danica thought.
She knows Amy can talk. And now she knows I’ve heard Amy talk, too
. Danica watched Melantha as the dark woman moved among the others. She wore red tonight and was as vivid as a poppy. Now she had reached Galt and was talking to him.
Too close
, Danica thought.
He doesn’t have to lean over her like that. Is he touching her
? Then she was appalled by her jealousy. She turned away and met Evan’s knowing smile. Were her emotions as transparent as that?

Danica took a step away, but Evan’s hand on her arm stopped her. “At least you could say hello,” he said.

“Hello,” she said.

“How about trying, ‘I haven’t seen you all day and I’ve missed you?’”

She smiled. “The snow was lovely,” she told him. “Have you ever…?”

“I’m a skier,” he said. “It’s my element, so I’ll admit snow is fascinating. But I have a feeling I have more competition for your attention than snow.”

Her smile faded. She liked Evan, but her feeling for him was nothing compared to how she felt about Galt. It was not something she could joke about or make idle conversation over.

“Ready to go?” Lydia stood behind her. “I am if you are.”

Danica hesitated. Most of the staff had already left. She had lingered, waiting for a sign from Galt, an indication that he wanted her to stay until everyone else was gone. She glanced at him now, but he stood as before, his head bent over, listening to Melantha. As she watched, he threw back his head and laughed. A pang shot through her. Was Melantha going to remain instead of her?

“Coming?” Lydia repeated.

Beside her Evan still waited. She didn’t turn to look at him, but she knew he wore a mocking smile.

I can’t stay here
, she told herself.
Galt doesn’t want me to
.

“Yes, let’s go,” she said to Lydia. Evan walked with them to the door. Danica gave Galt one last glance, but he was still engrossed with Melantha and didn’t seem to notice she was leaving.