The Staying Kind (15 page)

He stood at his desk, his eyes pinned on her. When he frowned, she could sense his confusion and disappointment. “Okay.”

She backed up toward the hallway to her room. She didn’t want to leave, but he hadn’t given any invitation to stay. “Thanks for dinner. I had a nice time.”

The frown was replaced with a small smile. “You’re welcome. I enjoyed it too.”

Quickly she swung around. She wanted to escape this awkward situation nearly as much as she wanted to throw herself against him and beg him to take her to bed. No, sleeping with him couldn’t ever become a habit. It would be hard enough to keep this attraction at bay whenever Jessa was around. She had to start practicing now.

She hung her outfit in the closet and put on a clean pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. After rubbing her hair, still wet from the snow, with a towel, she climbed into bed and picked up her book from the nightstand.

Then stared at it blankly.
I can’t concentrate on anything.
Her mind was too full of him, too full of the way his hands felt on her body and how his mouth tasted, pressed to hers.

And worse, how he could make her laugh. How he could draw her out of the box she’d existed in for so many years.

A soft tapping on the door brought her out of her head.

“Yes? Come in.”

Travis walked through the door and shut it behind him. He wore another frown and the intensity in his eyes struck Rio even from across the room. Her heart flew against her chest in rapturous excitement. She tried to set the book on the nightstand and missed. It fell to the floor with a thump. She didn’t care. She couldn’t break her stare from him as he made his slow approach.

“I couldn’t go upstairs,” he said roughly. “There’s no way I could do it, knowing you’re down here. Please, Rio, let me stay with you tonight.”

Silently, she nodded and pulled back the covers. He unbuttoned his shirt and dropped it on the chair by the desk. Rio let her gaze caress every contour of his torso, and as he removed his pants her attention trailed down his narrow waist, lean hips and long, muscular thighs.

The man was trim and rock hard. Incredibly male, already prepared for her, and her body reacted quickly.

As soon as he climbed under the covers with her, he tugged off her t-shirt and rained kisses from the base of her neck, down until he reached a breast. He kissed the tip softly, tracing the hard bud with his tongue, before taking it into his mouth and suckling it.

Her entire body flooded with untamed want and need. She arched her back to his attentions. If she could have, she would’ve opened herself to him right then and there and taken his hard erection into her waiting body. This would be an exercise in control, she told herself. In seeing how far she could let him go before he drove her mad.

After finishing with one tingling peak, he moved his concentration to the other aching breast, tugging on it, his tongue whisking it into hardness.

Her breath came in short, harsh gasps as his hands roamed her body, stopping short of her hips. She still wore her pajama bottoms and they were too much in the way, but she couldn’t speak to ask him to pull them off, couldn’t move enough to push them down herself.

Travis kissed his way up to her mouth where he parted her lips with mindless intensity. His hands cupped her face, stroked her cheek, trailed down her neck, then up again. Together, their tongues circled, danced, and curled, making love on their own.

Against her chest she could feel his heart gallop, or perhaps it was hers. It didn’t matter. The way his fingers touched her mattered, how his thumb hooked into the waistband of the damned pajamas and dragged them down over her hips . . . Those things mattered. She kicked the garment away.

Now. Now he was free to take her, slide his hard, burgeoning arousal deep inside her.

But he didn’t. Instead he worked his way down her body again, slowly, with the sweetest torture, kissing and caressing, nipping and suckling. Oh, what he did to her.

If she had thought she couldn’t handle the building storm inside her body the night before, this was sweeter and slower, with so much promise. How could fire be hot and demanding yet gentle at the same time?

“Travis,” she sighed when his lips drifted down to her thighs. She understood then what he would do and she could barely breathe for the anticipation of his touch.

Her hips lifted off the bed of their own accord to meet his invasion. She welcomed it, yet at the same time feared losing complete and total control of her body and senses.

His tongue flicked against her soft center, circling and dipping before his mouth closed over the sensitive bud, nipping and sucking it lightly while his tongue teased it.

Her body might as well have been rushing forward on a fierce river for all the hold she had on reality. Travis propelled her with blood-rushing speed toward the edge of a waterfall that would plunge her into complete insanity.

Her body arched and writhed in torment, yet still she rode it out, fighting for breath that came in fits and starts.

Finally, she couldn’t hold on any longer. If she didn’t let herself go she’d surely die. With a keening moan, her release came, an explosion of exquisite ferocity. She cried out his name over and over as the orgasm sent her into a dizzying spiral.

She clutched at his shoulders. “I need you.” The words came out choppy, breathless.

Travis slid up and pulled her into his arms, whispered in her ear, a sweet murmur her reeling mind couldn’t understand.

His body was ready for her, but until she came back down to earth she didn’t think she could possibly take any more.

“I never imagined . . .” she started, then stopped. She felt silly for admitting how the act moved her. How she felt so stripped naked, yet empowered at the same time.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he whispered against her cheek, then softly kissed her. Such a contrast, to have this man be able to drive her so wild and then soothe away the madness he created.

“No. Not hurt. Never. You couldn’t hurt me.”

As she said those words, she realized how untrue they were. Yes, he could hurt her more than anyone else could. If she let herself fall for him, he’d most definitely hurt her.

Something unexpected happened when Travis heard Rio call out for him, then pull him up so he could hold her in his arms. Her voice, the expression on her face . . . everything.

All his resolve, to never fall in love, had begun to melt away like ice on a warm spring day. Why it should matter so much to him, he wasn’t sure.

He had no doubt about his passion for her, however. Unparalleled, unforeseen, and startling. Desire mixed with the need to comfort her, protect her. The need to keep melting that ice away.

Could he really be falling in love with her? This woman had appeared in his life with absolutely nothing but strength and fortitude. He’d gone from distrust to admiration in a matter of weeks and now he actually considered love.

Crazy.
Yet it was just as crazy to have made love to her in the first place. To be here, in her room with her petite, purely female body pressed against his, reminding him that he wanted to keep making love with her with the fury of a wildfire and with the patience and tenderness of a summer wind.

Again he kissed her, slowly, deeply, absorbing her sighs while he slid his hand across her sweat-slick skin. Gently he moved so his body poised over her, pressing against her. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he filled her in one swift motion.

Travis reveled in her, taking care to bring her pleasure before he let himself slide into a climax no less profound than the one he’d given her. He buried his face in her neck and inhaled the heady scent of her skin.

Whispered her name in a harsh breath.

Love had become a stranger to him over the years. If he was falling, he fell hard. It would give him a lot to think about, a lot to sort out.

As he gathered her close, with no intention of leaving her at all tonight, Travis realized falling in love wasn’t as uncomplicated as it had once been.

Chapter 14

“I don’t know where she’s gone to.”

The words hit Travis like a block of steel right in the gut. Tina’s mother waited on the other end of the phone for him to say something. Anything. “She was there when the girls went to bed, right? When was that?”

“About midnight. George had to shush them, they were laughing so hard. Oh, Travis, I feel awful. If anything happens . . . oh, oh, wait. Here she is, coming in from outside.”

Although the steel block suddenly disappeared, he still felt ill. What in the world was Jessa thinking? That no one would discover these little forays? How long had she been sneaking out?

“I’ll be over to pick her up in a half hour. I’m very sorry, Paula. I can’t believe she’d take advantage of your hospitality like this.”

The woman sighed and made him feel like an ignorant father. “I understand. It must be difficult for you. I’ll make sure she’s ready to go.”

Travis thanked her and hung up the phone. He sagged against the counter, rubbing his forehead. More fodder for Daphne to sink her teeth into. God, he didn’t want to drag Jessa into his mess. He wanted to keep her from finding out about the battle Daphne wanted to bring to him, but that was a naïve wish. She had to understand the consequences of her actions, what might happen if she kept up her rebellion.

“Everything okay?”

He turned and smiled at Rio. She was a vision, black hair mussed by sleep, her green eyes hooded. She walked up to him and slid her arms around him, resting her cheek over his heart. How could she feel so right, there? He kissed the top of her head.

“Jessa. She apparently took another walk this morning. I wouldn’t be surprised if she saw the Bartlett boy again. I thought we’d passed that point.”

“I have a feeling it’ll take more than a few weeks. I’m sorry, Travis. I wish I knew what to tell you. Ride it out? Go talk to the kid again?”

“There’s a lot more at stake here. I don’t dare to just ride this out.”

Rio pulled away and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. He didn’t mean to say anything. This wasn’t her business, despite the fact her presence in the house was the catalyst. Still, she might as well know. “You remember Daphne, my ex-mother-in-law?”

“As if I could forget.”

“She’s suing for custody of Jessa. Doesn’t think I’m being a good father.”

Rio sucked in her breath as her eyes widened, sleep completely gone from her expression. And he could tell she’d figured out the rest. It was in the way her mouth dropped and the way she lowered her gaze away from his.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it? My being here.”

“She’d find some other problem, Rio.”

“Not so easily. I’m sorry, Travis. I never meant to be trouble for you and Jessa.”

No, he wouldn’t let things crumble, not when they were here, in this moment with
something
developing between them. “We’ll be fine. And that includes you. She will not win this.”

“Okay, so how’ll you make Jessa understand?”

Travis rubbed his forehead again as a headache gathered at the bridge of his nose. “I honestly don’t know. I have to go pick her up from her friend’s house in a few minutes.”

“And I have to head over to Sadie’s.”

Before she could pull away, Travis gathered her into his arms and lowered his mouth to hers. She returned his kiss readily, enthusiastically. He drank her in, one last time for who knew how long. There could be no slipping up when Jessa was around. It would be harder than hell to hide his feelings. He already had too much on his plate without worrying about what how his daughter would deal with the growing feelings he had for Rio.

“You really need to go,” she whispered against his lips, then rubbed his back briskly before pulling away.

“Yeah.”

“She shouldn’t know about us.”

“Yeah. It’ll be hard, but for now . . .”

A slight, sad smile tilted her lips. “You don’t have to explain. Good luck with her.”

“Wish I knew what to do.”

“Wish I could help you out.”

Travis smiled down at her. “We’ll make it through this.” Whether he meant him and Jessa or Rio, he wasn’t sure. Already he thought about Rio in terms of being a part of the family, enough to be concerned about the impact this crisis would have on her as well.

When Rio left to get ready, Travis did the same, with a heavy heart. He wracked his brain to figure out what he’d say to Jessa and came up blank each time. On one hand he was madder than hell she’d taken advantage of not only his restored trust in her, but also of the hospitality and friendship of the Shirk family. Surely Paula and George wouldn’t be too keen on the idea of their daughter being friends with Jessa anymore, which was tragic. Jessa and Tina had been best friends for most of their lives.

On the other hand, he couldn’t ignore the fact there was an underlying reason for Jessa to be behaving this way. Sure, teenagers went through their rebellious stages, but
his
Jessa wouldn’t have been so reckless.
That
Jessa would’ve stayed clear of the Bartletts.
That
Jessa knew the trouble they were. Especially the boys.

Something that made sense would come to him. Something
had
to come to him.

After cleaning an extra four inches of newly fallen snow off his truck, Travis headed down to the Shirk’s house, past the Bartlett place, which he glared at. Trying to make this quick, he apologized again to Paula, who patted his arm and gave him a “you don’t know what you’re in for” smile.

Jessa, her bag gripped in a white-knuckle hold, looked like she was heading off to her execution. Since Tina didn’t even stick around to tell her goodbye, Travis wondered if there’d been a fall out between the two girls over this. He wouldn’t be surprised.

As soon as they were in the car and heading out the driveway, Travis launched right in.

“What were you thinking?” He fought to keep his utter frustration from his voice. It pushed at him with pounding fury.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see her shrug.

“No, you’ll have to do better than a shrug. I thought we were past this. Now what were you thinking?”

“Wanted to see my other friends,” she mumbled, her voice a whisper.

“So you took advantage of the Shirk’s hospitality and left at God knows what hour? Do you realize how panicked Mrs. Shirk was? It’s bad enough you did that to me, but to do it to a friend and neighbor is unacceptable.”

“Sorry.” She didn’t sound sorry.

“This has to stop. I thought we were okay, Jessa. I thought we were past this. Honey, you need to talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. I understand you’re mad that I went to Afghanistan, but I’m home now and I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.”

Silence met him and for the moment he’d let it go, and hope she’d think on his words versus her actions.

“I have to work today so I’ll drive you over to Aunt Sadie’s. You can spend the day helping her and Rio. We’re not done with this conversation. I want you to think about this, think about your real reasons for behaving this way.”

Jessa pulled in a deep, shaking breath and let it out. “You left me,” she accused, her voice tremulous, angry.

Travis pulled the vehicle to the side of the road and put it in park, then reached out to her. She jerked away from his touch.

“No, don’t. Hugging me won’t make it all go away. You left me. Mom left me first, and then you.”

“I had to. I didn’t do it because I wanted to.” Travis tried to reason, but by the expression on his daughter’s face; the flushed cheeks, the red-rimmed eyes, and the trembling tilt of her lips, she would have none of it.

“You could have died, Dad. Then I wouldn’t have had anyone. I hated you for going there and leaving me. How could you do that to me?”

Despite the fact she’d moved as far from him as she could, Travis pulled her to him. She fought the embrace weakly, then finally sank against him as he shushed her tenderly.

“I’ll never put either of us through that again. Do you understand? I’m back and I’m safe and we’re a family. I love you, Jess. I’m sorry I had to go away. I promise it’s done with. I’m here for you.”

“You could’ve died and then I wouldn’t have had anyone,” she repeated, her voice tired, broken.

For a long moment they sat close, with Travis holding her like he hadn’t done since before he left for the Middle East. Finally, she pulled away, swiping at the tears filling her eyes. “We better go,” she mumbled and turned her gaze out the window.

It was a small crack in the wall. Whether it was enough, Travis couldn’t tell. He hated having to spend the day away from her, but he had a job to do. Aunt Sadie would keep her busy anyway, in the kind, slave-driver way she had.

Tonight, maybe they could pick up where they left off.

Rio wanted the apartment above the barn. It was the perfect solution to the problem that had been digging at her all morning. With the way things were going over at Shadow Oak, she clearly couldn’t stay there.

Nothing in the world would make her want to put Travis’s custody of Jessa at risk, and being there under the same roof as Travis tempted fate. He didn’t need it, and neither did she. An affair like this would lead to heartbreak in the end.

What were her other options? Renting a place in town? She didn’t have a vehicle or even a license and the idea of hiking back and forth twice a day throughout a New Hampshire winter held no appeal. Surely Sadie would be supportive of the idea, unless there was some reason why the apartment couldn’t be lived in.

As soon as she had a break she’d bring up the idea with her boss. For now, she plunged into feeding the horses with gusto and optimism.

Some of her enthusiasm faded when Jessa arrived an hour later.

“Hey there,” Rio called, not expecting an answer. Jessa didn’t disappoint. She didn’t spare Rio a glance as she slinked by.

Here I am at square one
. The girl’s shoulders slumped, the expression on her face closed off to everyone around her. So it had been that bad? She glanced at Travis.

Thunder dwelled in his eyes, a mixture of anger, disappointment, and loss. From the expression on his face, she could see his emotions play out. Did she know him that well?

She kept him at a distance. At a moment like this, it was best to leave him to it, though she did meet his glance, and offered a slight smile which he returned before she stepped into the stall she’d been cleaning. If she’d remained in the aisle, gazing at him, everyone would see how their relationship had shifted over the weekend.

That wouldn’t do anyone any good, least of all Jessa, who already had plenty to deal with. Did the girl have any clue her grandmother was trying to take her away from Travis? Somehow Rio didn’t think so. Travis wouldn’t want to put such a heavy burden on Jessa’s young shoulders.

After Travis left, Jessa worked in grim silence all morning. As soon as the stalls were clean, Sadie appeared and called them into the aisle. She had her hands in her pockets and a frown on her face.

“Okay, it’s riding time. Rio, go saddle Dante, and you, young lady,” she faced Jessa, “tack up Barnaby. It’s been a long time since you’ve trained for a show. By God, I’ll have you ready by May.”

“Show? Oh, come on!” It was the first peep out of Jessa’s mouth all day and she didn’t sound pleased at all. She glared at Sadie and crossed her arms tightly across her chest.

“Don’t ‘come on’ me, missy. You need direction. I’m going to give you direction.”

“Is this Dad’s idea?”

Sadie’s eyes narrowed. “No, this is
my
idea. Don’t you sass me. It won’t do, not here. I’ll work you harder. Now march right into the tack room. There’s a decent pair of boots in there. Then saddle Barnaby. You have fifteen minutes.”

When Jessa stomped off, her heavy footfalls broadcasting her disgust, Rio approached her boss. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“The apartment upstairs. I’d like to rent it out, if possible. Would you consider it?”

Sadie stared at her long and hard. “Everything okay over at Shadow Oak?”

“Things are fine. I feel like they’d be better off if I wasn’t there, with everything happening between them.”

“Tough road, isn’t it? I’d say typical teenage rebellion, except I don’t think there’s anything typical about it. Too much for one small family to take.” She pulled her hands out of her pockets and took Rio by the shoulders. “You could do Jessa some good, you know. Show her how to rise above adversity.”

Rio chuckled. “I don’t think Jessa would be interested in lectures from me.”

Sadie dropped her hands. ”You have a point. I wouldn’t be surprised if that barracuda of an ex-mother-in-law caught wind of you being there. She’d be the type to raise hell. Pretends it wasn’t her daughter who’s at the root of all these problems. Yeah, the apartment is available.”

Rio practically sighed with relief.

“Comes with strings,” Sadie continued. “It’ll be nice to have someone close by, even if Shadow Oak is down the road. I’d expect you to sign a lease. A year. A full year. I can see it on your face, sometimes. That need to travel. Maybe it’s become a habit, you feeling all boxed in if you sense you’re tied down. You’ve told me you’ll stay to see how this riding business works out. I’m telling you now it’ll work out fine, and this’ll give me a more of a guarantee.”

Rio smiled despite the fact Sadie had backed her into a corner. “I have no current plans on leaving.”

Sadie slid her arm over Rio’s shoulder and squeezed. “I know. Still, I like to have as much assurance as possible. I’m sure we can work something out, rent and utilities against your work here. The space has been unused for so long, so financially it doesn’t mean a hill of beans if you’re staying up there or not. The only thing that’ll increase is electricity and water. We can deal with those as we go. Anything else, phone, television, you’d have to pay for yourself.”