The Stein & Candle Detective Agency, Vol. 3: Red Reunion (The Stein & Candle Detective Agency #3) (13 page)

Verona was shouting above the gunfire. “Shoot straight, you numbskulls! You useless bums! If you don’t kill him, I’ll kill you!” He was seeing his perfect vengeance drift away, and it made him angry. Now he was a cornered animal, losing patience as he lost his mind.

For a few more seconds, we all crouched behind cover and shot at each other. I reloaded my pistols, swiftly exchanging clips and then returning the fire. I had done this before, many times in the forests and fields of France and Belgium and Germany. But I always had competent soldiers backing me up. Now, I had Weatherby, Selena and Chad.

Just after I reloaded, things went wrong. “I’m out!” Chad cried, and I cursed that he revealed it.

I peered out from behind my cover and saw the gangsters making a wild charge, all at once, firing wildly as they ran. Verona ran behind them. “Rush them!” he shouted. “Rush them and kill them all! Take Candle alive! Let me finish him!” His own long-barreled pistols were blazing in his hands, and then his eyes met mine and I didn’t think it was possible to squeeze so much hatred into a single glance.

I left cover, opening fire with both automatics. I emptied the clips, even as a bullet scraped my cheek, stinging like a bee and drawing blood. Another bullet took a chunk of flesh out of my arm, and I nearly dropped my pistol. They were getting closer, with Joey Verona staying behind, ready to pick me off while his men took my bullets. I cursed. Weatherby, Selena, and even Chad – they were all the family I had. And I was going to get them killed.

Then I heard a low roar come from behind me. I thought it was a gunshot and turned around, wondering how the gangsters had managed to sneak behind us. But it wasn’t a gun. It was a lizard, bigger than an elephant, standing on two lean legs, with a long tail, a wide mouth full of teeth like Bowie knives and tiny arms that seemed delicate enough to play a piano. The creature had dark green scales, and let out another roar that echoed through the jungle like thunder. You didn’t have to be a scientist to know that this was the top predator, the big boss of Lizard World.

Tommy Gabriel was riding on its back. The lounge singer held tightly to reins that wrapped around the dinosaur’s neck, and he turned it in the direction of Verona’s trouble boys, giving it a whack on the side with a long riding crop. The dinosaur turned on them, pouncing with its mouth open. It reached down and grabbed a gangster, biting the man in half like a kid munching on candy.

The gangsters didn’t last long. Some of them stood their ground and opened fire. They got ripped apart by the dino’s teeth, crushed under its clawed feet, or bashed by its tail. The others took off and ran. I left my cover, looking for Verona. This was a chance to finish him.

But he was already turning to run. He looked back at me and gave me a little grin. “Gotta go, Morty!” he called. “But I’ll remember the lady. I’ll remember how you care for Weatherby. Newsflash, big man – long as I’m alive, they’re not safe.” Then he took off for the jungle. Lizard World was a primordial hell of ancient monsters. I had no doubt Verona would survive in it – and find his way back.

Gabriel finished his rampage and reigned in his dinosaur. He patted its nose and slid off, landing nimbly before me, Selena and Weatherby. Chad came out of his hiding place, helping Ben Blemmy along. We all stood there in the jungle, beaten to hell, terrified, and in an unknown world. But we were together and we were safe.

Blemmy looked up at Tommy Gabriel. “You saved my life…” he said, coughing as he put a hand over his chest. “Your debts are cleared, kid. You can stay here. Come back to work. Whatever you want.”

“Thanks, boss.” Gabriel pointed into the jungle. “Come on. I know the way back to the portal to Crystal Grove.”

“You’ll stay in our world?” Selena asked, as we started down the path, helping Blemmy along.

“Sure,” he said. “I may be a prince in the Lizard World, but I’ve got friends and a career and stuff I care about in the human world. I think I’d rather stick with the people I know and care for, no matter how much they annoy me, instead of going off to be some prince out here.” He paused, putting a clawed finger on his chin. “Know what I mean?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “I think I do.”

We left Lizard World and got Blemmy to a hospital. He managed to stay conscious just long enough to pay me and Weatherby, right out of the suitcase of stolen cash that Tommy Gabriel had carried along. Gabriel had put his silver suit and trench coat on, so he did a decent job of blending in with a human crowd. He decided to head back to the Royal Crown Lounge, and get back to his room – and his mask. We said our goodbyes and then got a room at a nearby motel for the rest of the night.

Selena looked over my wounds in the room, carefully bandaging every cut. Weatherby sat at the small coffee table, across from Chad. The beatnik had been real quiet, and after Selena finished her work and sat next to him, he looked up.

“All right,” Chad said. “I’m sorry, but I gotta know – what’s the verdict?”

I shrugged. “You saved Selena’s life – and my own. You’re a little pink, not too bright, and you’re greatest aspiration is to be poor and hip. But I guess you’re okay in my book.”

“Thanks,” Chad replied with a grin. “But I wasn’t really talking to you, Mr. Candle.”

Weatherby stood up. “Perhaps I might agree with some of Mort’s observations, Mr. Albright. But my sister loves you. That is undeniable. And your love for her is equally obvious. You appear to be a good man, and a fine companion of my sister.” He stood in front of Chad, and held out his arms. “Welcome to the Stein Family.”

Chad embraced him. “Thanks, little man. I knew we were gonna be pals.”

I watched Weatherby. He was watching Selena. She was smiling at him. The kid would learn to like Chad, for the sake of his sister, but maybe that wouldn’t be so hard. With Chad’s arrival, Weatherby and Selena weren’t nearly so alone in the world. And like it or not, neither was I.

Drac’s Back

T
he vampires met in an old warehouse on the outskirts of Sofia, Bulgaria. It wasn’t the kind of joint I’d expect the bloodsuckers to use for a get-together. I thought they’d want something grand and impressive, a ballroom, manor or castle – especially when they had mortal guests along. But the vampires didn’t meet my expectations. And there was something else about them that didn’t seem right– the bloodsuckers were nervous.

They sat down on folding chairs in the dark corners of the warehouse, their pale hands pressed together and their tongues swiping over the tips of their fangs. In stiff, dark suits, long dresses and fedoras, they looked like aging suburbanites dressed up for a night of the town, nothing like powerful creatures of darkness. Weatherby Stein and I sat in the middle of the warehouse, under the hazy glow of a single light bulb. The kid noticed it too.

“They seem rather shabby, Mort,” he whispered to me, too low for our vampire hosts to hear. “I get the feeling they’re not even bothering to try and impress us. Perhaps they have other concerns.”

“My thoughts exactly, kiddo,” I agreed. “And if something’s got a bunch of vampires upset, then I’m listening.” I reached for a cigarette, snapping my lighter to life to push back a little of the darkness. “Fear makes people stupid. And stupid people and money don’t last long together.”

Weatherby shivered in his frock coat as two of the vamps stood up and moved to the center of the room, standing in front of us. One was Balthazar Greeley, the man who had hired us. With a puffy face, a bolo tie, shabby blue suit and cowboy hat, he looked like a used car salesman, which was what he was. Next to him, wearing a tight leather jacket with a pair of wings stenciled on the back, was Nails Kenzie. Nails led a motorcycle gang called the Bike Bats. They were half-turned, capable of going around in the sunlight, but nowhere near as strong as full-blooded vampires. They were also clowns, and Nails Kenzie was the biggest sap of them all. If he was here, I knew the vampires were getting desperate.

“Good evening, Mr. Candle.” Greeley had a soft Midwestern accent. He curled back his lips, just enough to show me his teeth. I didn’t know if he was trying to intimidate me. If he was, it didn’t work. “Your flight was pleasant, I trust?”

“Second Class. There was a baby behind us that wouldn’t shut up.” I blew a cloud of smoke from my cigarette. It hung heavily in the stale air of the warehouse, like a curtain that didn’t rise. “The kid here complained about the food. But yeah, it was all right.”

Greeley shrugged. “I’m afraid we do not have the funds necessary to ensure your luxury, Mr. Candle. But rest assured, we do have enough to pay you. We’ve gathered all the money we have, every penny of our dwindling fortunes, for this final operation.” He reached into his coat and pulled out an old map. Carefully, Greeley unrolled it. “Do you read much, Mr. Candle?”

“I read the funny pages in the papers. Boy, that Charlie Brown never gets any breaks, does he?”

Greeley continued. “Have you ever read a novel by Bram Stoker? A horror story by the name of… Dracula?” He pointed to his map without giving me a chance to answer. “Many people do not know that Dracula is no work of fiction. Dracula, or Vlad Tepes, Vlad III of Wallachia was a warrior aristocrat renowned for his cruelties and brutalities against the invading Turk and his own people – as well as his transformation into a vampire. His name means ‘Son of the Dragon.’ It is an apt title.”

“He attempted to invade England, in the Victorian Age,” Weatherby added softly. “And was defeated.”

“Yes.” Greeley sighed. “He was pursued to his ancient castle, somewhere in the hills of Transylvania, and was finally destroyed.” He rested his hands on the map, moving over the endless dark forests, treacherous mountains and strange passes that dotted this ancient, battered section of the globe. “But not all spirits rest easy in this ancient country. We know of his castle. We can bring him back.”

I raised a hand, like a kid in a classroom. “One question – why, exactly?”

Greeley looked over his vampires. They shifted uncomfortably in their seats. “He’ll know what to do, to save us from extinction,” Greeley explained. “To make us great again.” His eyes went wide. He looked religious.

Weatherby and I exchanged a glance. “So, what do you want us for?” I wondered.

Nails Kenzie stepped in front of Greeley. “Security, daddy-o. Nothing more.” He ran a hand through his perfectly curled hair. “See, there’s these crazy monk boys that don’t want Dracula to rise. They’re Europe’s number one monster-killers, sponsored by the Vatican, the Greek Orthodox Church, and almost every other religious institution. They’re called the Order of Reprobus. They don’t know where Castle Dracula is, or they would have destroyed it long ago, but they still patrol Transylvania like crazy. Ain’t hard to see why.”

“My father knew of them,” Weatherby added. “Named after Reprobus, the dog-headed St. Christopher before he became a Christian.” He turned to me, and I could see the unease on his pale face. He didn’t like this job. Vampires always made him nervous.

Nails continued, like he hadn’t heard Weatherby. “Now, going in at night would be too obvious. They’ve got spells and wards to stop that. So we’ll go in during the day – while most of these geeks will be laid out, snoozing in their coffins. We need someone to drive the truck and ride shotgun.” He pointed to me. “That’ll be you.”